Compromises and Promises
by husmcn
Summary: After a tragic and life-altering event, Bella Swan adjusts to the life of her total opposite. Will she ever be able to let anyone in? Can she ever be happy again? AU/AH. Canon couples. Rated M for a reason. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1 Birthday Celebrations

**A/N: Edited March 3/2010  
Again, to those readers who have already read C&P, the edits are not plot changing. They are just meant to fix up those beginners mistakes I made.  
And to new readers who aren't sure what I'm talking about, C&P is a complete fic. However, I felt that my first fic had major flaws in grammar and what not, so with the help of Project Team Beta, the entire fic will be redone with them. Again, plot changes will NOT occur. Only minor problems. Keep in mind that chapters will be up with short gaps between them since I'm only waiting on them back from the beta's, and then will do the changes.  
Lots of love to Project Team Beta!  
****I don't own Twilight, that's all Stephenie Meyer. What I do own though? Tickets to go see 30 Seconds to Mars in Toronto! Still wish I could've got those Muse tickets though... stupid midterms.**

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Eighteen years ago, Charlie and Renee Swan were holding their beautiful bundle of joy, as they had always called me, and were ecstatic to be experiencing very little thing I would throw at them.

Funny. If only they knew the messes I'd be throwing their way.

Personally, I couldn't have been happier to turn eighteen. Legality was so close I could taste it. With legality came the opportunity to do whatever the hell I wanted whenever I wanted. Not like I wasn't doing that now, but it sounded better this way. Ah, who was I kidding, I couldn't care less what people thought of me.

I had finally graduated a couple months back from good ol' Forks High and I couldn't have been happier to get it over with. I wondered how the parentals would take it when I would tell them that even though I had gotten straight A's in all of my classes with no effort whatsoever _and_ was accepted into every university I'd applied to, I wasn't going to college. Instead, I was planning on moving in with Jake.

Jacob Black. Oh, how that boy was wrapped all around my little finger and it had only been less than a month since we were together. You'd think a 22 year old guy would know when a girl was playing him as hard as I was, but he had no idea at all. He made that perfectly clear the night before.

"_Bella, you look so fucking hot tonight. You are smokin', baby." _

_Jake couldn't even look in my eyes as he praised me. He may have glanced _ glangl gldd_at my face once or twice, but as for the rest of the time_, _h__e__ was just leering at my body. Hell, I didn't blame him. My parents almost had their own bodily failure when they saw me walking out of the house and climb into his 1965 Ford Mustang which was basically his baby. Not to mention the fact that my denim jeans were so tight they looked painted on, and my blue halter top fit snugly against my chest and curves. Yeah, definitely looked good._

"_I know, right? Fuck, why are we still sitting in my drive way? It's 8 o'clock and I'm still sober." I cocked my eyebrow at him and gave him my signature smile. If I wanted my way, I'd get it._

"_Sorry, baby. Let's get you started then, shall we?" he asked as he pulled out a bottle of vodka from the back seat. I bit my lip to stifle my laughter at how perfect he was to be the poster boy for pussy whipped._

_According to Jake, he had a surprise for me. When the moron tried to actually attempt to blindfold me, I gave him an "are-you-fucking-kidding-me?" look, throwing that ridiculous idea out of his head. _

_After about ten minutes of driving and constant drinking, he stopped the car. We both got out and I realized that we were on a cliff that kind of overlooked Forks. I mean, you could climb up a tree and overlook Forks, but you get the idea. _This is so pointless, _I thought._

"_Jake, what are we even doing here? This is such a waste of time." I was seriously starting to get pissed off. The vodka in my system was no help either._

_He didn't even give me an answer. As I was about to completely rip him a new one for being such an idiot, he cut me off with his mouth. _

_Sure, why not? _

_He kissed me roughly, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me towards him. My hands went to his lower back, my fingernails digging into his skin. I heard him growl, so I guessed that sort of turned him on. I realized he wasn't going to bother going slowly as he tilted my head to the side and his warm tongue bombarded my mouth. We were so close together that another vital part of his body grabbed my attention. I stiffened a bit when I felt how hard he was, his dick pressing against my stomach. I wasn't as experienced as the other whores in Forks thought I was, and I didn't care for the rumours they spread about me, but I wasn't ready for sex just yet._

_Sadly, he pulled away._

"_Bella, you have no idea what you do to me." He said huskily, slowly running his large hands down my back and settling them on my ass. "I love you so much, baby. You're my everything." _

_No word of a lie, I was stunned. I knew people thought about saying 'I love you' to that one person in their life that they'd want to be with forever, or some sort of Hollywood crap along those lines. Here was the thing though: I didn't love Jacob Black – at all. I mean, he was delicious. The steroids helped him out in the physical area – his abs could make any girl melt. Hell, even a guy would melt. I wasn't necessarily attracted to anything other than his body and I definitely enjoyed the fact that he would do anything I'd ask him to. But that was about it. For me, anyways._

_So, when I say I was stunned, I was fucking stunned. I wouldn't say I love you back to him if I didn't mean it. Yeah, I was a complete bitch, but no one deserved that. Not even 'roid boy Jacob Black._

_I didn't know what to do, so I did what I knew would shut him up. I kissed him, and that was that. He didn't mention his stupid love shit again._

I literally shuddered when I thought about the previous night again.

"Mom! Dad! I'm heading out with Jake! Don't know when I'll be home, so don't wait up!" I yelled quickly as I walked out of our dull house. It was cozy, don't get me wrong, but I was so sick and tired of this place that I pretty much associated anything with Forks with negative adjectives.

"Bella! Where are you going?" My mom was trying to catch up with me before I got out of the house. Great. I had hoped to just holler and leave. Clearly, the start of my night wasn't turning out as well as I'd planned.

Funny how right I was.

"Mom, I already told you. What are you, deaf?" I sighed, annoyed already. "I'm going out with Jake, he's waiting for me outside. Do you want something?" Though I was smart enough not to say it out loud, the woman was seriously getting on my nerves.

"Isabella Swan, she is not deaf. Birthday or not, you do not talk to your mother like that." _Uh-oh_, I thought. The chief is not happy. Then again, I deserved it.

"Sorry, sorry. Definitely my bad. I'm just a little on edge, you know?" I rambled. _You would be too, if you had a love sick boyfriend._

"That's okay, sweetheart." My mom said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "But listen, your father and I had cake and presents here for you. Are you sure you can't just stay for a bit and then leave after?"

The look in my mom's eyes was killing me. Yeah, I may have had nothing but disgust for this fucking place, but I loved my parents. They were the only people who believed in me no matter what I wanted to do. I guess it was one of those unconditional love things that you hear about. Lucky me, 'cause it didn't help with my guilt at that time.

"Mom, he's waiting for me though. Can't we just do this tomorrow?" I begged.

"But, tomorrow's not your birthday. It won't be the same." She said, her face falling slightly. "But I guess if you really have to go…" My mom trailed off but I knew what she was thinking. I was such a bad daughter. My parents may never say it out loud, but I knew they thought it.

_Are you fucking stupid? Grow the fuck up. They would never._

There goes my conscience. Right, as always. Fuck, I hated it but I had to fix this.

"Okay, okay fine. How about this mom? Dad? We'll compromise?" I smiled as I waited on their answer.

My mom's face lit up. I knew she'd be up for it – my compromises always worked out. She looked up to my dad who didn't look that happy, but I did sense that a small bit of him was willing.

_Come on Charlie, you know you want to._ I was still grinning as I waited on him.

He sighed. "Okay, Bella. Let's hear it."

My smile widened and didn't loosen up as I explained my compromise to them. "Okay, so here it is. I go out with Jake now, but I will be back early for cake and presents. Say, 11? That way, we're still doing it on my birthday." _Where do these amazing ideas come from? Bella, you are a fucking genius._

My parents thought it over. Okay, so more like Renee was down, but Charlie took a bit longer to make his decision.

After what seemed like an eternity, Dad finally spoke up. "Okay, Bella. But you have to be back by 11. You promised, and your mom and I would be very upset if you didn't keep your word. Do you promise?"

I groaned. Man, I loved my parents, but this guilt thing they put me through was killing me! "Yes, yes. Of course I promise. I always keep my word on the compromises, you guys both know that."

My mom smiled, and outstretched her arms. I walked into her hug, and wasn't surprised when Dad joined in too. What did surprise me though, was the sudden sense of wholeness I felt. I didn't even realize I was basically beaming. _W__eird. Must be some getting older kind of thing._

"Have fun tonight, baby. Go on, he's waiting for you. Oh and by the way, I know." I looked up at my mom before she winked at me and immediately knew what she was talking about. She knew what had happened with me and Jake the night before. Well, probably not all of what happened – the nitty, gritty details weren't necessary for her to know – but she definitely knew about the whole him loving me issue. Of course, knowing my mom, she also knew I didn't love him.

"What?" I asked, playing dumb.

"You know what, Isabella Swan. Motherly senses." She smiled and tapped her finger against her temple twice.

"Mom, I know you pass it off as motherly senses, but I'm really hoping it's not some sort of paranoid telepathy. This is a little unhealthy." I joked, the sound of her laughter filling my ears. I gave them both a quick hug as I walked, or actually ran, out the door. My parents both yelled out their 'I love you's as I made my way outside.

"Love you too! See you at 11!" I yelled back as I got into his ride. Jake looked impressed, yet again, leaning in for a kiss and I met him halfway. Yeah, I didn't love him, but I was a sucker for that mouth and tongue of his.

After a few minutes of a hot and heavy make out session, I pulled away and sat back in the chair.

"Happy birthday, baby. I got you something special, but we'll save that for later on tonight. As for now, let's get the party started, shall we?" He turned and grabbed a bottle of vodka from the backseat, handing it to me with some weird look in his eyes.

_Huh, must be some love thing,_ I thought._ Ugh._

"Perfect. Just get me home by 11 though, the parentals have some sort of b-day thing for me," I said, taking a large swig of vodka and wincing as it went down. I wasn't going to go into further detail for him – I never did anyways. He didn't need to know every fucking detail, and he understood that.

The house was already packed when we got there and kids were scattered across the lawn as well. I didn't even know whose party it was to be honest – some random broad from Forks High, apparently. Then again, I couldn't care less. It's not every day there's a house party in the lackluster town of Forks. Yet another reason why I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there.

The party was pretty decent, for a Forks party. Then again, I wouldn't have really known considering Jake kept plying me with more alcohol. I was completely fucked up and didn't even notice my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and groaned at the sight on my screen.

Six missed calls from Home.

_Fuck! What time is it?_

I checked my phone again. 11:30 pm. Fuck.

I ran upstairs to find somewhere quiet to call my parents. Well, it was more stumbling up the stairs than running. After looking into about three rooms, and realizing they were all occupied with horny as fuck teenagers, I finally found an empty one and called my parents. _Get ready for a guilt trip in 3… 2…_

"Bella? Where are you?" My mom asked frantically. "Baby, it's 11:30, you should've been home already!" Great, my mom was upset. So much for my compromise.

"Sorry Mom," I apologized, trying my best not to sound like a slurring drunk. "I'm at a party and I didn't know what time it was or that you called. I'll go find Jake so he can drive me home."

I opened the window to see if I could find Jake and noticed him outside smoking with a bunch of other randoms.

"Jake!" I hollered, getting his attention. "What the fuck? It's 11:30 and I told you we had to leave by 11!" I completely forgot about the fact that I was still on the phone with my mom who wouldn't be all too pleased with my sailor of a mouth. Hell, I was drunk, I didn't even think about it.

"Well, Bella, tell mother dearest to fuck off. It's too late, I'm not driving you home." Well, clearly Jake had been drinking as much as I had been, since he wouldn't speak to me like that in his right mind. I was infuriated. Seriously, I felt like _I_ was having roid rage. How fucking ironic.

"What the fuck did you just say?!" I screamed, now putting on a full out show for the random Forks kids out there. "Jacob Black, you fucking disgusting, worthless piece of shit, how dare you? Do you not know who the fuck you're talking to?!"

Yup, definitely roid rage.

"Whatever, baby. Once you get your surprise tonight, you won't be saying any of that. I mean, fuck, you'll be screaming, but you'll be screaming _my name." _He laughed, as the guys around him gave him props.

_You have got to be joking._

I heard my mom yelling on the phone and I remembered that she was still on the line, so I decided to not yell back at him and pop a blood vessel. Or ten.

"Isabella Swan, are you listening to me?" She yelled angrily which caught me entirely off guard since it was a clear first. "Your father and I are coming to get you right now. He just got the call from the station and he knows you're at Lauren Mallory's house. Stay put baby girl, we're coming to get you."

My mom hung up before I could answer and I looked outside to find that stupid fucking prick, but he was already gone. I closed the window, and the next thing I knew, I was crying. What the fuck was wrong with me? I'd cried a lot, don't get me wrong, but I didn't know what I was crying about. I didn't know if I was crying about breaking my promise to my parents, or because Jake wouldn't drive me home, or because I was so fucking livid at what he had said to me. He thought I was going to have sex with him?

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

I went downstairs to try and find someone who could drive me home. I wasn't going to wait for my parents; I didn't want them to see me like this. I saw a girl leaning on one of the counters holding a bottle of clear liquid in her hand. I was sure it was filled with vodka or something, but I prayed that maybe God loved me even a little bit for it to just be water.

_Please don't be drunk. Please don't be drunk._

"Hey! Are you drunk?" _Way to be blunt, Bella._

"Uh, hey." She said nervously. "No, I don't drink and wouldn't start tonight anyways. I'm the designated driver, apparently." She was eying me curiously and I guessed she could tell I had been crying. _God, I must look like such a prissy girl. _

"Sweet, do you mind driving me home?"

Okay, so now the eying was getting worse. She was curious about the crying, and I guess maybe she was wondering if I was a little mentally fucked up. I didn't blame her, I would think the same.

After a bit of an awkward silence, I realized that maybe I came off a bit strong.

_Uh, ya think?_

Fuck you conscience.

"Sorry, let's do this again, shall we?" I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and taking in a deep breath and explaining everything quickly. "I'm Bella, we went to school together or I think we did. I need to get home because my so called boyfriend is a fucking idiot, and my parents are coming to get me, and I don't want them to see me like this because I'm a fucking wreck right now so you'd be the most amazing fucking person in my life if you could drive me home like, now." A little less strong? I thought so.

She just stared at me in silence – I think her jaw even dropped a little. What the fuck was wrong with this girl?

"Uh, that's okay." She finally answered. "I'm Jessica. Yeah, let's go, I'll drive you home." Thank God she started talking before I went apeshit on her too.

We got into her car, and I silently thanked God that she wasn't a fucking slow driver. I needed to get home fast. I was trying to call both of my parents' cell phones as we were driving, but no answer.

_They probably left them at home trying to get to me quickly._ Fuck, guilt trip.

As we were just about to turn the corner to my house, the flashing lights of cop cars a few blocks ahead caught my attention. Normally, I wouldn't give a fuck about seeing the newest accident or crime in Forks – I could always read about it the next day in the paper. But this was different. For some reason, I felt pulled to it. I can't really explain why, I just was.

"Jessica, can we go see what happened up there?" I asked, not even looking at her. My eyes were fixed on the scene in the distance.

"I thought you had to get home? Your parents, or whatever?" I heard the annoyance in her voice, and ignored it.

"Yeah, I know. But I want to check this out."

I realized she had agreed when she slowly drove up the street. "Oh my God, what the hell happened? It looks like all the cops in Forks are here." She continued to ramble on and on, but I honestly couldn't even hear her. My heart was beating so hard and fast in my chest, it was the only thing that I could hear. She stopped a safe distance away, because the road had been blocked and the next thing I knew, I was out of the car and slowly walking towards the scene. I didn't know if it was the alcohol or not, but I needed to be there.

As I got closer, I noticed what had happened. There was a car accident. I saw both cars more clearly as I slowly decreased the distance between myself and the wreckage. My heart stopped as I recognized the first car.

Jake.

His mustang was completely demolished. There were pieces of it scattered all over the road. All of his hard work on the car, completely worthless. I couldn't believe he actually got in and drove after having so much to drink. A part of me was hoping he was still alive so I could rip him apart for being such a fucking moron.

That part of me slowly faded as I saw the other car. Believe it or not, it was even worse off than Jake's car. But that wasn't the worst part. It was a police cruiser.

Charlie.

I started running, shoving away anyone that was in my way. The next thing I knew, I was being held back by an officer, but not before I took everything in.

Jake was sitting in the back of an ambulance, being treated for cuts. His eyes were locked on a point in front of him, and even from where I was it looked as if his eyes were dead. It took everything for me to let my eyes follow his gaze. I finally gave in, and it seemed as if my life was being slowed down in front of me.

My eyes settled on what Jake had been staring at.

Body bags. Two of them.

There were a few officers surrounding them, their faces grim. One bag had been zipped shut, and an officer was zipping another one. I watched as the zipper slowly closed, but not before I saw the single most terrifying and heartbreaking sight of my life.

My mother's face.


	2. Chapter 2 Changes

**A/N: Edited March 23, 2010  
Hey all! Welcome new readers (and returning ones that want to check out the new edit? Yes... no? Maybe?)  
Thanks to PTB for editing again.  
****And of course, I own nada - it's all Stephenie Meyer.**

******Enjoy!  
=)**

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I woke up from my nightmare in a cold sweat, not realizing the wetness on my face until a few moments after taking long, deep breaths. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and settled back into my bed, attempting to calm myself down. The dream was so realistic, as if I were really there.

_Uh, reality check? You were there._

Right.

Four years ago.

I didn't know how I'd made it through the last four years without being admitted to a psych ward. I mean, I was responsible for my parents' death. I didn't deserve to be walking around the streets acting remotely 'normal' – whatever that was, anyways. Hell, I didn't deserve to be alive. The staccato beat of my heart picked up pace to that of a war drum, marking the steps to an anxiety attack unless I relaxed. Those feelings had been bottled up since the night my parents were killed, and I wasn't planning on letting them loose any time soon. Definitely not now; I'd worked too hard to get where I am.

I was striving to become a person I would never be – a person my parents would be proud of. All of that work introduced the new Bella Swan, you could say.

Shortly after my parents died, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without wanting to throw up. Like I said, my parents were dead because of me. I was disgusted with myself. There was one night that I actually sat in front of my mirror for a good three hours, attacking myself physically and emotionally. The thought of suicide ran through my mind constantly, though I kept trying to push it away. I couldn't help it; it was completely involuntary. I remembered staying up for hours as a teenager, searching on the Internet different ways that I could easily end my life. There were so many ways that I would halfway attempt – I would go as far as to get to the peak of my pain resistance and then stop, making note to go further with the following attempt. But I was a coward – I could never follow through. After that night, I realized that if I was going to keep living my worthless life, then I had to make a complete change.

The change started when I finally brought myself to open my birthday present from my parents. I felt undeserving of them, but to be completely honest, I just wanted to touch one of the last things that my parents had laid their hands on. It took every ounce of strength to bring myself to the table with the small, beautifully wrapped box sitting on top of it. When I finally brought myself to open it, there was a set of keys sitting on a note. I picked up the keys, slightly jingling in my hand, and set them to the side of the box. Inside the box, a set of keys, glinting like a thousand tears just like the ones trailing down my cheeks. Slanted edges against a curling note with black scripture in my mother's hand.

_Happy 18__th__ birthday to the most beautiful and amazing girl in the world! Isabella, your father and I are so proud of you. Yes, we will admit, there have been a lot of ups and downs during your short life so far, but baby, this is what comes with parenthood. Your father and I knew that from day one and we've never regretted bringing such a wonderful person into this world. We are so excited to be a part of all The things you will accomplish in the future, Bella. the way, I hope you're not tearing up right now, but if you are it's okay because I am too._

The tears were flowing freely down my cheeks and dripping onto the note, teardrops splattering over the paper in my hands. I grasped my neck, trying to soothe the ache from the harsh breaths I was taking but it was no use.

_Your father and I are so thrilled to see where you'll go and what you'll accomplish. I mean, you're a genius, baby! We've seen all the acceptance letters Bella, and we couldn't be more pleased. However, we both had a feeling that you weren't as eager to take advantage of your once in a lifetime offer, so your father and I have decided to give you a slight push in that direction. Now, it'll be hard for you to be away from us, but I know that this is what you really want Bella. Motherly senses, remember?_

_I've noticed that you threw away your acceptance letters, Bella – all but one. New York University's School of Law. We know you really want to go there, Bella. Your father and I may not know all of your reasons for not accepting the offer, but we both agreed that this is your dream. Now, you may be wondering what these two keys are for. _

_Surprise!_

_We bought you a loft near the university! It is absolutely breathtaking, Bella; I know you'll love it. Your father and I wanted to surprise you by bringing you down to New York in the winter, but it may have been too late. Plus, I couldn't keep this huge bomb to myself! You know me baby, I can't keep anything from you. You deserve all of this._

_We can't believe how fast you've grown Isabella. We can't wait to watch you grow into the beautiful, intelligent, inspiring woman you were always destined to be._

_If you've reached the sky, know that you have yet to reach the stars._

_Love forever and always,_

_Mom and Dad_

After reading the last memento that would remind me of my parents, I immediately went and accepted my offer. I had no other family in Forks, so I had to arrange everything myself. Funny how I thought being 18 would give me so much freedom. If it gave me enough freedom to pack and store half of my house, sell it, and bury my parents, then I didn't want any of it. A little later, I was informed that my parents had life insurance, so it helped with the funeral. Not only that, but I was being paid a hefty amount of money from Jacob Black's insurance company.

Jacob Black. As much as I felt completely responsible for my parents' death, I knew that he was second in line. The night of the accident was the last time I saw him, and I never wanted to see his vile face again. The extreme hatred I felt towards him was the strongest feeling I'd ever experienced in my life. Thinking of anything related to him made my insides clench painfully as if they were being wrung together.

Let's just say I'd divert my thoughts of loss to thoughts of pulling him apart piece by piece and feeding him to the dogs.

No, even that death would be too good for him.

I decided that the money couldn't all go to me. I donated a large amount to the police station, because they were the closest thing to family that I had in Forks. I then settled on the fact that my parents would want me to go to NYU and make the most of it, so the rest of the money would go towards my studies and basically necessary items that would allow me to make it through every day.

I moved to New York a month later, starting my freshman year in January. The first thing I did was check out my loft. Without a doubt, it was absolutely gorgeous. It had already been furnished, which I assumed was another surprise left by my parents – even though I was baffled on how much they'd spent for me to settle in comfortably. My eyes immediately went to the kitchen. It overlooked the living room area, which consisted of a few modern styled furniture pieces. The cupboards were a light wood colour as were the tables, with marble tops. The floors were hardwood, and one wall was all brick. The whole place was so open and beautiful. As I went upstairs, I noticed that there were three bedrooms. I didn't realize my parents expected me to have roommates, but I wasn't going to deal with it for now. I wasn't able to meet new people yet, especially in my current mental state.

It turned out that living in that loft all by myself was making me even more paranoid than I was before. Although I was numb to anything around me, the nightmares were unbearable. I came to the conclusion that maybe if there were others living with me, it would settle the nightmares – even if it were just a little bit.

After some advertising, I settled on two sisters that had just moved to New York to follow through with their dreams. I figured that with them being sisters, I didn't really have to include myself in anything with them. I could just keep to myself. Oh, how wrong I was.

Rosalie Hale was the older sister, only by a year though and she was a pretty successful model. She was gorgeous, of course. And when I say gorgeous, I mean, she was a goddamn blonde bombshell. Tall, curves in all the right places, and legs that can make it from here to Canada. Despite her stellar looks though, she was a bitch in every way possible. Her hard exterior separated the people she met – those that cowered away from her weren't worth her time, and those who didn't were worth a couple seconds.

Alice was the same age as I was, and she was the most interesting person I had ever met. She was a little shorter than average, with short, black pixie-cut hair. I was surprised how she could be just as beautiful as her sister and assumed that their parents must've had some pretty spectacular genes. She was a fashion fanatic. I knew from the first day I met her when she threw different fashion ideas she had for my own wardrobe, as well as showing me her impressive closet of clothes.

As time went on, I found myself being dragged to morning coffee with the girls, watching Rosalie strut down the runway or modeling new designs for Alice. Though I was uncomfortable at times, they always made me feel relaxed.

I never planned on telling them the exact specifics of my parents' death, rather instead telling them that they had died in a car crash. I hadn't wanted to share that with anyone; I couldn't make myself look pathetic in front of other people. That entire plan was shattered when I woke up screaming in the middle of the night, chanting to myself that my nightmare wasn't real and they'd rushed in. I broke down and told them everything. Through the few weeks that we had spent time together, I had never met a single person that I could trust with my real feelings other than my parents. Alice and Rosalie had changed it all. After telling them the real story of that night, I was shocked when they didn't believe I should have blamed myself. They both held me while I sobbed, and I was taken aback when I realized that they had been crying as well. I wanted them to hate me too, to put me back in my place. I wanted them to punish me for being so weak, because that was what I needed. A small part of me was thankful that they hadn't though, because I guess I subconsciously wanted a support system. After them hearing everything, I knew I could count on them. I was less than deserving, but I was grateful that I had at least one person. Or two, anyway.

It was now the end of September; I had just ended my last undergraduate year at NYU, so I had time to gear up for grad school in January. Even though I was still working as a teaching assistant a couple of days during the week, completing my undergraduate was apparently cause for celebration.

"Oh Bella, come on! We never do anything fun together. I mean, Rose and I do, but you don't! You can't keep yourself hiding in here forever; it's time for a change." A frustrated Alice yelling as well as jumping on me simultaneously isn't the greatest thing in the morning.

"Dear God Alice, you are a walking alarm clock. The point of not having class is so that you can SLEEP IN! Now go away." I grabbed my pillow and put it over my head in hopes that she would get the hint. Of course she didn't, but it was worth a try. Alice grabbed the pillow and threw it on the ground.

"Uh, no way. Get up. Rose and I are going out to this bar we heard a lot about tonight, and you are coming. Get up! Get up!" Okay, so definitely up a level on the annoyance.

"Alice, what's with the higher than usual hyperness today? And why do I have to come out tonight? You know I don't go out," I said to her while looking at my clock.

_9:30 am. Shit Alice, what the hell?_

Alice stopped jumping on me, and her face changed to a somber look. "Yeah, I know you don't go out, but Rose and I were talking. Bella, I know you feel like you don't deserve to be happy, but it's been four years. You didn't even celebrate your birthday this year again, and –"

"Are you kidding me?" I snapped immediately. "I don't celebrate my birthday because that's the day my parents were fucking killed. Are you seriously going to start this with me now, Alice?" I had just gone through the pain of the anniversary of my parents' death on the 13th, and I was still recovering from it all. Even four years later, it feels like it was just yesterday…

Alice's pleading interrupted my thoughts. "Bella, I'm sorry. Really, I am. I shouldn't have said that. I don't want you to go apeshit on me again, but we don't think it's good for you to keep locking yourself in here all the time. Don't you want to get better eventually?"

_I'm a living murderer, and you want me to get better? Give me a break._

I was about to be completely blunt with her until I looked up into her eyes. It scared me how much that look in her eyes resembled my mother's when I told her I would go out with Jacob the night of my birthday. She was so hurt that I wouldn't spend time with her and my father. Alice was hurting, too – for me.

No matter how much time would pass, and how much I would try, I would always hurt someone I would love.

"Bella. Shit. Listen, I'm sorry. I told Rose not to make me come in here and say that to you, but she was so pushy and, well you know…" Alice put her hands on my cheeks and wiped my tears off my face.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been such a bitch. You guys are both great, I can't believe how you've put up with me," I sighed and looked away from her. I was so mad at myself. I was the one that had tried to change, yet I was still the selfish brat I always was.

"You crazy girl, we don't put up with you. We love you, silly!" Alice said, giggling at the end. I guessed she was getting a little uncomfortable, considering how unpredictable my attitude could be sometimes.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you too." Rosalie and Alice were the only two people that I had actually said that to, other than my parents of course. You don't even want to know how long it took me to say that to them comfortably though.

I waited on a reply from Alice, but I was left with nothing. I looked up at her, and saw her looking at me expectantly. I knew exactly what she wanted, and I also knew I had to give in sooner or later.

"Fine, fine. I'm up." I could barely finish my sentence before she pounced, her happy squeals filling the loft. I didn't even bother asking her where we were going this early, knowing that she probably wouldn't tell me anyway. I figured I knew what we'd be doing though – shopping, of course.

I got up and went to the washroom. We may have only had one bathroom in the loft, but it was huge. There were three sinks, two standup showers, and one jacuzzi. We even had two toilets in two of the corners, but they were behind doors so they were private. We concluded it was specifically made for three girls.

After my morning routine, I went back to my room to get ready. My room was pretty big, although all of our rooms were the same size. The walls were painted a light blue, void of any sort of pattern or other kind of decoration. My bed was along the wall away from the door, my dresser and table opposite of it as well as my closet adjacent to my bed. It was simple; I wasn't up for any extravagant decorations like the other two girls.

It didn't take long for me to get dressed. All I needed was a pair of skinny jeans, a tshirt, and a pair of sandals. It was a little chilly out, but I could never pass up a chance at wearing one of my favourite gladiator sandals. Unless it was snowing, I'd be wearing them. I dried my hair quickly, and headed down to the kitchen for some breakfast. I wasn't surprised to see that Alice was already dressed, as was Rose. I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, and Rosalie set a bowl of cereal down for me, as well as a glass of orange juice. Yup, definitely more excited than I was.

"Good morning beautiful. Now hurry up; the mall opens in 15 minutes." Rosalie smiled at me, and I couldn't help giving her a small smile back. I quickly finished up my cereal and juice, threw my dishes in the dishwasher, and grabbed my jacket.

We all got in my car, and headed to the mall. Two years ago, after realizing I was definitely not a morning person and was late to almost all of my morning classes, Rosalie and Alice convinced me to get a car. I didn't want anything super expensive or flashy, rather a car that was durable and strong, so I ended up with a black Volvo XC90.

We had been in the mall for three hours so far. I may love my gladiators, but they were not meant for three hours of shopping with the Hale sisters. Scratch that, no shoes would be meant for three hours of shopping with the Hale sisters. We were in a store fitting room trying on outfits, and I was praying that the style in my hand would live up to Alice's expectations so we could get out of there quick and easily. I put on the skirt and top, and walked out to the same Alice I was facing in the morning – bouncing and giggling excitedly.

"AH! Bella, it's so you! You have to get it!" Alice was way too excited for her own good. I mean, she was more excited for me than she was for herself.

_Psycho pixie._

I looked in the mirror to size myself up. Of course she picked a blue top for me; apparently it looked great on my pale skin. I didn't mind, I liked the colour myself. The skirt was grey and high-waisted, and it definitely worked with the shirt. Alice was a fashion genius. I turned around to check out the back, and I was pleased. It worked. I turned, and looked back into the mirror and I smiled. Yeah, I smiled, a full out, beaming smile. I don't know why, I don't know how, but I was, _happy_. And I couldn't have felt more guilty. I tried to play it off before Alice realized something, but was interrupted by Rose coming out of her fitting room.

She was planning on reeling some poor sucker in tonight with that dress. Well, there wasn't really enough fabric to call it a dress, but apparently it was. It was red, sleeveless and super short, and she looked absolutely breathtaking. Those poor, poor boys wouldn't even know what hit them.

"Wow! Rose, you look hot! The guys tonight are screwed," I said laughing, with Alice and Rosalie joining in.

"Yeah, I know. It's great, isn't it? Well, we can thank my parents for giving me this face and body. Yeah, the boys can thank them too." Rosalie was laughing even harder now, and we ended up catching the attention of some other girls shopping. They looked our way and immediately gave the three of us a dirty look, sizing us up as if we were their competition.

"Can I fucking help you? Or would you rather I just claw your eyes out now?" Uh oh. Bad move for those girls. You _do not_ give Rosalie Hale any sort of look that isn't a look of admiration. The girls clearly understood too, instantly walking away. "God, some girls are such bitches. It's not my fault God loved me more than you."

That definitely sent Alice and I into hysterics. Rosalie was definitely a unique character, no doubt, and we loved her for it.

We got changed and paid for our dresses but not before buying shoes and accessories. We finally headed home at around 6pm. Yes, 6pm. I was starving and exhausted, to say the least, so we grabbed some Chinese on our way home. I realized that Rosalie and Alice were just as hungry as I was; they basically ripped the bags open when we got in the door.

"So, where are we headed tonight?" I had to ask, considering Alice only mentioned that it was some new, hot bar.

"This place called Midnight Sun. Seriously, I've been hearing the greatest things from people about that place. Great service, sweet music, hot guys. What's not to like?" Rosalie was definitely eager to get there tonight and try her hand out with the guys there. We were all minus boyfriends, not that I minded but the other girls did. Apparently we were at an age where we had to be in a relationship. From what Rosalie told me, her last few outings hadn't been all that luck for her. I just think she's too damn picky.

"Yeah, so have I. I'm so excited to check it out! It's pretty close by too, so we can do a quick cab ride." Well, now we know that Alice plans on drinking tonight.

"Oh, cool, it sounds like fun," I shrugged my shoulders, and went back to eating. I felt a little awkward when there was silence, so I looked back up to see Rose and Alice gaping at me. "What?"

Rose and Alice kept staring at me, and finally Alice spoke up. "You're looking forward to tonight? You said it sounds like fun?" She was seriously looking at me like I was an alien, and I was getting a bit annoyed.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, Bella, don't get this the wrong way. But you're always a prude when it comes to anything like this." I was about to cut Rosalie off after the prude comment, but she explained herself rather quickly. "Stop! Don't bite my head off. I'm just saying, of course you have a reason to not want to go out, but we're just a little bit surprised that you're up for it, you know?"

I mean, they were right. I wasn't up for anything fun or exciting, ever. Of course they'd be taken aback when I said that I was looking forward to going out with them tonight.

"Well, I am. Can we drop this before I change my mind? And we should get ready soon. It's after 7, and I call shower number one first."

"Hell yeah baby! We gotta go sexify!" Alice literally jumped out of her seat as Rosalie and I rolled our eyes, and I guessed that meant she called shower number two.

After we all showered, I took some time doing little things before we got ready. You know, emails, reading, that kind of stuff. It was only 8, so we still had time. I checked my emails, getting rid of the junk and separating the personal emails from my school emails. I didn't get many personal emails, considering I hadn't kept in touch with anyone from Forks and only associated myself with Rosalie and Alice, but I had one today.

My lawyer emailed me, and titled it urgent.

_Great, that's always good news_.

I double clicked on it, hoping whatever it was wouldn't ruin my mood at that moment.

_Hello Bella._

_Hope you're having a good day. I was planning on visiting New York to give you some news, but it turned out that my new schedule won't permit me to do so. I apologize, but what I need to tell you is extremely urgent. I would prefer if you could call me back as soon as possible. As much as I hate telling you important things on the phone, this really can't wait. Again, call me as soon as you can. Thanks._

_Alec._

_Hmm_, I thought. _What's so urgent that he'd come all the way to New York_? I'd just call him tomorrow or something.

Before I knew it, I was getting ready to go out. Well, more like Alice and Rosalie were basically manhandling me. I've learned through living with these two that if it's important, leave it in their hands. You had a model and a fashionista for friends – what else could a girl need? They had both already done their hair and makeup, so it was just me now. When they finished, both girls went their separate ways to put on their outfits.

When I finished, I went into the bathroom to do a final check on how I looked for the night. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I looked good. _Really_ good.

I wasn't one for making makeup, only when necessary really, but the girls had done an extremely good job on mine. The smokey shadow above my eyes drew attention to my brown eyes and the hint of blush against my cheeks subtly highlighted my cheek bones, with light pink gloss making my lips look plumper. All in all, I could barely recognize myself.

Rosalie walked in next, looking hotter than anything, of course. Itreally looked like that dress was made for her. Alice walked in next, and I realized that I hadn't even seen her dress yet.

It was adorable on her. It was white with a low back that had silver straps going down with gems all over the straps. It hung mid-thigh, and it had fabric that was longer down the back. She looked like a little angel, it was beautiful.

"Alice, you little devil. You didn't even show us your dress yet, and now you walk in looking like that! Seriously, that is the cutest outfit I've seen by far!" Rosalie was definitely impressed, as was I. I just couldn't put it into words.

After some praising, we called a cab and got ready to head out. I was looking forward to tonight, but now I was actually getting nervous about it. I had butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't felt this way in the longest time. I thought that maybe this night would be a way to help me out – maybe offering some sort of healing that could benefit me entirely.

Little did I know how right I would be.

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	3. Chapter 3 Dreams and Dilemmas

**A/N: Edited April 15, 2010.  
I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.  
Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

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EPOV

"Dude, I can't wait until this shift is finally over. I'm over all these broads trying to hook up with me. I mean, come on!" Emmett rambled as he slammed his hands down on the bar table. "Yeah, I know I'm irresistible, but can't a guy just try to get a girl for once instead of her putting herself way out there? I want a little game, man!"

He was right. We'd been working at Midnight Sun since the place opened, and it'd been the same every night with these girls.

Hot. Smokin' hot. And way too easy.

It was pretty pathetic, if you asked me. Don't get me wrong, there were times I could have kicked myself for refusing some offers, but I was twenty-four. It was about time I'd gotten myself a girl that I could have a real conversation with without her eye fucking me the entire time. The guys agreed with me too. As of yet, we had, unfortunately, no such luck.

Emmett, Jasper and I headed down to New York a little less than a year back. We grew up in Seattle, so it was a pretty big change coming out here.

It's funny, because it was such a stereotype that everyone who moves to New York does it to make their wildest dreams come true and as much as we hated being stereotypical, we were just the same. I mean, we definitely had our own dreams. I wanted to make enough money so I could open up my own restaurant, Jasper wanted to start up his own club, and Emmett… well, Emmett says he came to this city to find his dream girl. Personally, I thought he just wanted to get laid and live the good life while hoping that one of us made it big so he could mooch off of us. When we first arrived, I was sure that was his plan, but after those last few frustrating nights it seemed like his reason was actually pretty valid.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. This place gets crazier each night, and yet the same trashy girls keep walking in here. This is New York! You'd think there would be more than just a city full of hoes!" Jasper was definitely on the same page as Emmett. I will admit I was getting a little anxious as well. I didn't want to be a bachelor my whole life, as much as I enjoyed it sometimes.

"Guys, relax. Look at all the people coming in now, just keep your fingers crossed. I have a feeling that maybe tonight could be our night," I said, smiling as the crowd starting coming in.

I was, without a doubt, in for the night of my life.

BPOV

We finally got to the club around 10 o'clock and stood gaping at the length of the line. Naturally, Rosalie was having none of that. According to her, we shouldn't have to outside looking as hot as we did. Hey, it was true, we looked good, that wasn't even questionable. Next thing I knew, Alice and I were standing by ourselves, still avoiding the dreadful line.

Rosalie came back a couple minutes later absolutely beaming. I didn't even have to wish she did something that could get us in, there was really no point. The girl knew how to work magic.

"Alright ladies, you both owe me a drink tonight for the little number I just pulled. Let's go, I'm _so_ over this line already." Rosalie smirked, as she raised her voice to let us know how manipulative she could be. And to let the other girls in line know who they were dealing with too, of course. What Rosalie wants, Rosalie gets.

_Remind you of another girl you once knew?_

I shook my head, hoping that my conscience would go the hell away. I wasn't having any of that tonight.

Rosalie grabbed us both by the hand and led us through the entrance of Midnight Sun. You could hear the sounds of bass from where we were standing.

"Ladies, you have yourselves a pleasant evening. Let's hope we see you soon, hmm?" The bouncer eyed the three of us up and down. We all giggled, playing along with the bouncer, knowing we would want to get on the bouncers favourite list if we were to come here again.

The place was enormous, and possibly the nicest bar I'd seen yet. Okay, so maybe I'd seen barely any, but this one was still the top. From where we were standing, the place was shaped like a circle and had two floors. The first floor was the dancing area, which had a pretty big bar set right in the middle and a DJ table across from it, taking over a large side of the place. The second floor was a seating area, and there were lounging areas sectioned all around as well as railings so you could check out the dance floor when you were up there too.

"Wow! Do you guys see the size of this place? Rose, you really did good getting us in here without that lineup. I don't think I could stand waiting longer after checking this out!"

I looked over at Rosalie and Alice, hoping they liked the place just as much as I did. But they didn't hear a word I said as they were just gawking at something further along the bar.

_What the hell?_

"Uh, hello? Did you guys just die?" I waved my hands in front of them, hoping I'd knock them out of whatever kind of coma they were in. They just nodded their heads. I tried again, and when I realized that it wasn't doing any good at all, I turned my head to see what was so damn amazing.

_Of course._

The bartenders. The three of them were all wearing the same black, snug t-shirts with the Midnight Sun logo on it.

The first guy was hot, no doubt. He was pretty tall, and had shoulder-length dark blonde hair. He had a pretty good build, and his shirt helped to show that off.

The second guy was huge. Not overweight, just physically huge. He was just as good looking and had short, dark brown hair. He smiled, emphasizing his dimples. He was adorable. Not to mention the fact that his shirt wasn't helping him cover anything up, which I didn't mind.

I turned my gaze over to look at the third bartender.

And I immediately joined my best friends staring.

He was, wow. I didn't even have any words. This guy was the epitome of beauty. I couldn't even look at the other bartenders anymore, not after seeing him. He smiled at Dimples and ran a hand through his copper coloured hair. Not only was he gorgeous, but his hair was turning me on by the second. It looked as if he had permanent bedhead, but it _worked_. He was the same height as the first bartender, and just as built. As he ran his hand through his hair, his bicep peeked from his sleeve.

_Fuck. Me._

That was it; I was done for. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it through the night with a guy who looked like a Greek god standing just a few feet away from me.

I probably could have handled it, except, I had an even stronger challenge facing me: not letting 'Old Bella' resurface.

EPOV

The place was getting packed, and the drink orders were piling up. Not that the three of us minded. We had this bartending thing down, and our manager knew that too. It was no wonder that he paid us well above what any place would give a bartender.

Tonight was different though. Clearly, the three of us were fully fed up with the sleazy girls in this city, so instead of starting up conversations or being the slightest bit flirty, we just filled the orders and got on with it. Orders were getting out faster, so there were chances of having a small break between orders. I had just finished my last order, when I felt a jab in my side.

"Ow, what the fuck? Jasper, what the hell was that for?" I was definitely not overreacting. He elbowed me hard, and I wouldn't be surprised if I saw a bruise there the following day. Being pale doesn't help out with the bruises, that's for sure.

"Dude, just shut up and look at those three girls." I had no idea what Jasper was talking about, considering he started mumbling after making out one sentence. I shook my head, wondering how I went wrong with him when it came to getting girls, and looked for these girls.

The three of them definitely stood out in a good way, and I saw from the corner of my eye that Emmett had obviously noticed too.

One of them in particular, I could not stop staring at.

She was stunning. I'd definitely had my fair share of gorgeous women, but this one was different. She wasn't the typical beauty; she left something to the imagination. She was pretty pale, and had long, dark brown hair. I had yet to see a girl in this city that wasn't dressed for attention, or trying to play hard to get it all the time. Not this girl though. She was alluring; not showing as much skin as the other girls, but just enough to peak my interest.

She was perfect.

She looked over at me, and even from the distance I noticed that she had these huge, brown eyes. I smiled at her, and my smile grew as I noticed her skin turn a light pink.

I made her blush.

Another jab in my side broke my gaze from her, and it pissed me off. I wanted to stare at her all day; she fascinated me.

_Creepy, Edward._

Yeah, I needed to relax. I started thinking of ways that could possibly get her to talk to me that night, or at least see her a few times. I had a few in my mind when I was jabbed yet again.

"Okay, seriously. Next one of you that does that is going to get their pretty face ruined by my fist."

"Eddie, do you see those girls? Seriously, my legs were getting weak for a second, man. I had to hold onto the counter! And before you bitches start saying your favourites, I call the blonde one. I'm oldest. I win." Seemed like Emmett's night was already getting better.

"Emmett, I swear to God. Call me Eddie again, I dare you," I hissed and glared right into Emmett's eyes, about ready to pounce. I could have cared less about his good mood after that irritating nickname of his. It was annoying enough for the girls here to call me that, but my own brother? Not happening.

"Shotty the short one." That broke me out of my fury, considering Jasper was the least expected of the Cullen brothers to be so up front.

I will admit, I breathed a sigh of relief. It would've been a disaster if two of us liked the same girl. I won't lie though, I would've fought for my girl.

_My girl._

Shit, I was getting possessive of her already. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Good, because if one of you guys had called out the brunette, I would've downed you right here, right now." I smirked, knowing that I had them right there. I silently thanked my parents for praising our individuality. It helped knowing that the three of us had different tastes, especially in cases like this.

I was glad when all I got in return were scoffs and laughs.

I needed to talk to this girl tonight. I had to.

I looked back to where she had been standing, and was disappointed when she was gone. _Great_, I thought. _Just my luck._

I walked around the bar and was about to go searching for her when one of our waitresses walked up to me.

"Eddie, baby. I've got four more orders for you, where are you going?" She took her forefinger and middle finger, and trailed them up my chest. Ugh. Seriously, this 'Eddie' thing had to stop or I was going to go off on someone tonight. That included the trampy waitresses that I wasn't interested in. A sour mood would not help me out when I had the girl of my dreams in the same building as me.

"Lauren, it's Edward. And I wasn't going anywhere, so relax. Give me my orders, please." As much as I wanted to, I couldn't be an asshole to her. Even if she was getting on my nerves, which never took much with her.

I went back behind the bar, not happy with my situation. I needed to work on things, and fast.

And it didn't help when all I could think about was her.

BPOV

He stared at me and smiled. This sexy, crooked smile first and then this full-out smile right after. I didn't know what made the change until I realized how hot my face was getting.

_Stupid blushing. You ruin everything._

I couldn't help it, but it wasn't making me look better. Blushing was so juvenile, and I wasn't liking it. He turned away, and I grabbed Alice and Rosalie's hands and quickly headed upstairs. We sat down, looked at each other, and simultaneously burst out laughing.

When our laughing finally subsided, Rose was the first to speak.

"Oh man, I can't believe how bad we looked just gawking at them in the middle of the bar! But girls, for the first time in my life, I didn't care! When Walking Sex with Dimples looked at me I could've just died." I couldn't help but look at Rose and cock my eyebrow when she decided to name the dark-haired bartender. She was really interested, but knowing Rosalie he was going to have to work hard to impress her. Looks were certainly important to her, but they weren't the only thing that counted.

I laughed and looked over at Alice, and stopped laughing. She looked unhappy and like she was lost in her own thoughts.

"Alice? Hey, you okay?"

Alice looked up at me, giving me a small smile hoping it would reassure me. As I knew Alice very well, that smile did nothing. I looked over at Rosalie, and I knew she was thinking the same thing. Alice understood quickly that she wasn't getting away so easily.

"Well, I mean. There's three of us, and three of them. Rose already called one, and… Well, I'm not sure, I guess I –"

"You don't want me to call the guy that you were attracted to, right?" Of course I was right. The three of us knew each other inside and out.

"Oh, God yes. Please Bella, can I please have the guy with the amazing hair? Pretty please?" Alice asked me, pouting as she begged.

_Amazing hair? Great. There goes my guy._

"Well, yeah. Sure, I guess," I said, and then attempted to cover up my disappointment with amused laughter. "You know, you should ask him how it looks like he just ruffled it up and pulled it off so well."

"Sure, if you want." Alice shrugged and laughed. "I can try to ask him tonight when… wait, what? Oh, no Bella. Wrong guy! I'm talking about the blonde! You can have that other guy, if you're interested. Though, I can tell you are." Alice continued laughing, but not before giving me a wink. God, she definitely knew me way too well.

"Well, he is gorgeous, but I don't know, girls. You know me. I'm not interested in hooking up or whatever." I was being honest with them. I hadn't been in a relationship since that scum who shall not be named.

"Bells, no one was asking you to hook up with him. Yeah, he's good-looking, and by that smile he gave you when you walked in it's obvious that he thought the same of you. I know he's interested, but if it makes you uncomfortable then you let me know and I'll take care of him. What are best friends for, right?" Rosalie smiled, and I felt my tension ease a bit. I've never even been in a situation like this before. It was all new to me. I was glad that I had my two best friends by my side.

"Thanks Rose. Wait, hold on. What do you mean you know he's interested? You don't know that." Someone like that couldn't be interested in new Bella. Maybe old Bella.

_No_. I'd been good for the last 4 years. I wasn't going to change back to my worst enemy now.

I didn't even get a reply from Rosalie. All she did was roll her eyes at me, and signal the waitress so we could give her our order.

As much as I wanted to fight this feeling, a part of me wanted a lot more than just drinks tonight.


	4. Chapter 4 First Impressions

**A/N: Edited April 15, 2010  
Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. I own nada.  
Hope you're enjoying the ride so far, and I'd love to hear from you!**

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BPOV

I wasn't exactly sure what was going to end up happening tonight, but I secretly wanted the girls to get the bartenders' attention. My obsession with the green-eyed beauty was starting to get a little unhealthy. I'm not even kidding when I say that as we were walking away, I had tried to get as close to him as I could without old Bella taking over and jumping him right then and there. My condition became worse when I caught a glimpse at his piercing green eyes. I'd never been so turned on in my life.

_Settle down tiger. You're as horny as a dog in heat._

What was wrong with me? I'd been good for so long. _So long_. And now I was about to break it all off for some guy? My parents' aspirations for me of being a worthy, successful person dumped over this guy I didn't even know? I tried so hard to throw away anything related to my former self, and I worked just as hard to become the person I presently was. When my parents died, I died with them. It was a fact that I had accepted a long time ago, and I had yet to regret it. I owed my parents that much. I mean, if I got to live, then I'd start over with a lifestyle that I would've never wanted but would've been acceptable in my mother and father's eyes. Even if that person was nothing like the real me.

I was so close to permanently being that person. Don't get me wrong, from the outside I was. To outsiders, I was this hardworking, intelligent 22-year-old young woman with great and pure intentions. But from the _inside_, I wasn't there yet. My thoughts were a hybrid of mine and of my old self – the dutiful daughter honouring her parents' memory and the strong-willed young woman who needed to lead her own life. I'd thought that, in a little while, I would've won my internal battle. That battle had just become longer after tonight.

I scowled at myself. I was so selfish, it was disgusting. I wasn't losing myself tonight. I wouldn't let it all go. Not now, not ever.

"Whoa. Bella, who are you thinking about? Shit, if only looks could kill." Alice analyzed my unpleasant expression and chuckled.

_You don't even want to know._

"Nothing, just thinking about something. Anyways, this is getting to be a bit boring, sitting here and being sober. First round on me?" I figured that would distract them, considering I could tell that the two of them knew something was up. So damn intuitive.

"About time! You both owe me a drink anyways. Now where'd that attention-whoring waitress run off to?" I couldn't help my laughter when I looked up to see the waitress behind Rose, glaring at her. Oh yeah, she definitely caught that last comment. Alice noticed too, and I saw her mouth twitching.

The waitress walked over to us, and plastered on a fake smile.

"Have you girls finally decided what you want?" she asked with phony enthusiasm.

"Yeah, we have actually. Sorry to make your simple job so much more difficult. Three cosmos, please. And if you could hurry it up, we might actually sneak a little tip in there for you. Thanks so much!" Rosalie countered, talking to her an octave higher like she was a child. Rose could definitely play that game too. And she played it brilliantly.

The waitress smiled and headed over to the stairs, but not before hearing our erupting laughter as she turned. We even caught her grumbling and attempting to mimic us as she left the stairs and walked over to the bar.

"Rose, I will admit, that was priceless!" Alice choked out in between her laughter. "But now we'll have to watch her to make sure she doesn't sabotage our drinks!"

Our laughter continued, and the tables near us could even hear us over the loud music. The skanky girls turned their heads to look over at us, clearly annoyed.

So far, so good.

EPOV

"Full house, boys!" Emmett said as he tilted his head up and started sniffing. "I smell a raise in the future."

So dramatic.

"Emmett, you say it like we get paid shit all now. I don't know about a raise, but our tips so far are more than any other night." Jasper was right about the tips. We had to go grab another jar from the back room because our first one was full already.

Personally, I wasn't even thinking about the tips. There was only one thing on my mind.

"Dude, what the hell is up with you? Did that girl get to you that much?" Emmett started laughing, amused with my current mind paralysis.

"Yes, she did. But as I recall, you couldn't even control your own legs when you saw that blonde."

"Touché, dear brother. It's about time we did something though. I'm not waiting around for some other guy to hook up with her." Jasper and I laughed at Emmett, but were definitely in agreement with him. All we could talk about were those girls. They made an unforgettable first impression on each of us, that much was obvious. The problem now was doing something about it.

We were about to discuss details when Lauren walked up to the bar, slamming down her tray on the table and screaming profanities.

"What's wrong, Jess? Did one of the boys notice how disproportionate your breasts are? I guess now's a good time to look into a refund," Jasper asked Lauren, taking full advantage of her current situation. It pissed her off even more, and Emmett and I made it worse when we started laughing. Jasper was the only one out of the three of us who made it clear to Lauren that she wasn't getting anywhere with him the first night she tried. Emmett and I just tried to dodge her, but Jasper wouldn't even bother doing that.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole. Just because you haven't seen a girl's tits since grade school doesn't mean you can try to insult my perfect ones." Lauren may have tried to get even at Jasper, but she realized she didn't do a great job when he started laughing at her and took the order slip. "Do your worst to those drinks. Spit in them, jizz in them, I don't care. Do something. I'm getting back at those bitches for embarrassing me in front of everyone."

I was immediately interested. These girls made a fool out of Lauren, and it got to her good. I couldn't stand the girl, so of course I'd admire the girls that put her in her place.

"Oh, Lauren. We're so sorry. Who were these mean little girls? Do you want us to go pull their hair for you?" Emmett laughed, finishing off the cosmos and setting them on Lauren's tray.

Unfortunately, Lauren wasn't as bright as she thought she was. She took Emmett's sarcasm literally.

"Emmett, that's a great idea. Aw, sexy and sweet," she grinned, a little disgustingly might I add. "I like. They're right up there. Three girls. One's a brunette, the other is some small chick, and the third is this disgusting blonde. Do your worst to the blonde; she needs it."

The three of us looked at each other with jaws dropped as Lauren described the girls to us, instantly knowing who she was talking about.

"No. Fucking. Way. The blonde bombshell has tongue too? Is it possible for this girl to turn me on any more!?" Emmett's eyes went huge as he managed to compose himself. "Lauren, I'm bringing these drinks up." Before Jasper and I had a chance to beat Emmett to it, he had made it to the stairs.

What were these girls doing to us?

BPOV

We watched the waitress as she went down to the bar, clearly infuriated with our stunt. We couldn't care less, she deserved it.

"Dear God, is she a brat or what? Can't even take a little joke," Alice said, giggling at the end.

"That was such terrible service. I mean, bartenders aside, these waitresses are gruesome. Definitely not the classiest broads I've seen." Rosalie was in a mood tonight. Maybe it was the lack of alcohol?

"Rose, just let it be. We got back at her bad, so she knows not to try anything again. Don't let it ruin our night." I didn't want that waitress's negative attitude affecting our good time here.

The girls nodded, and we looked back to see if she took Rose's tip comment seriously. Apparently not.

"What the hell does she not understand about hurry up?" Rosalie went back to her anger when we saw her at the bar. "She's still standing there talking to the bartenders! I mean, is she that –"

"Where's that other bartender?" Alice interrupted, getting up to take a better look at the first floor. There were only the two of them. The huge one wasn't there.

_Maybe he went to the washroom?_

A part of me wished he had, but I knew something else was up. Rosalie and I followed Alice and were still searching when a bellowing voice startled us.

"Well, hello ladies! Looking for something? Or should I say, someone?" The three of us yelped, clearly not expecting the huge bartender standing behind us with our drinks in hand. He chuckled at our reaction, and set our cosmos on our table. We composed ourselves, and went to sit back in our seats.

"No, not really. There's nothing really here that caught our eye as of yet, so we were just looking to see if it's changed." Rosalie was definitely playing hard to get with this guy. It looked like he didn't mind, because all he did was look back at Rosalie and give her a half-smile.

"Oh, really? And did you see anything you like?" I was definitely liking this guy. Not in an attraction way, but his personality was one that I could instantly get along with.

"Nope." Rosalie replied, popping her 'p' and smiling as she played with a strand of her hair. The bartender's smile faded, and it looked like he was about to pass out. Rosalie had him good.

He shook his head, and broke his eyes from Rosalie.

"Well, ladies, I'll be honest with you. The three of _you_ made a definite impression on the three of _us_." I could feel my face get hotter with his comment.

"Oh, really? And how is that...?" Alice asked, trailing off. I'm guessing she was trying to put in a subtle attempt at getting his name.

"Emmett." He wasn't stupid, that's for sure.

"Yes, Emmett. How did we make this impression?"

Emmett looked at the three of us, and smiled. "Isn't it obvious? You three put Lauren over there in a fury."

That set off our laughter again, and he joined in as well.

"We did nothing of the sort. All we did was order our drinks politely." Rosalie said after ending her laughter. That girl was a vixen.

"Oh, really? Well, according to her there were three girls up here that embarrassed her badly. And her descriptions fit the three of you perfectly. She even said for me to do my worst to the blonde one," Emmett told us, looking right back at Rosalie with that last bit of information. This guy was good, and I could tell she was even more interested than before.

"How cruel. I'm hoping you didn't give in to her charm and spoil our cosmos, hmm?" I asked him, playing along with the girls. I didn't know where that came from, but I didn't think about it either.

Emmett gasped, following with our leads. "No way! I had to come up here and personally introduce myself to the fine ladies who did the good deed. I even had to beat my brothers in doing it too."

"Brothers?" Alice asked. There was no way that two people could breed three gorgeous children. It was biologically impossible.

"Yeah, my brothers. The other two bartenders down there? I can introduce you all if you want." I snapped out of whatever trance I was in, and was about to agree when Rosalie stepped in.

"Well, we'd love to have a family reunion, but we'll pass for now. Maybe later? Thanks for the drinks, Emmett."

I was worried she may have offended him, but it was just the opposite. Rosalie really had her hooks in this guy, and he was fully willing to go with it.

"Later it is. Enjoy your drinks, ladies. Order as many as you'd like. I'll make the trip up here for you, instead of that mean little Lauren. I don't mind at all." He looked at Rosalie and winked. I saw the corner of her smile twitch. To say I was shocked was an understatement, and I would definitely mention it to her later.

"Oh, I'm sure you don't," Rose said. Emmett's smile at Rose turned into laughter, and he walked away.

We couldn't believe what had just happened, but we were in for more surprises that night.


	5. Chapter 5 Breakdown

**A/N: So, know how I said I would edit the entire fic? Then came trying to balance four fics, and school, and life.  
Yes, C&P may have lots of grammar errors and other general errors, but it's not fair to me or the readers for me to hold off on it just because it's already complete.  
And... it's not that bad right? Haha, I think it was pretty decent for my first fic! And it does get better as you read on.  
Anyways, love you all, and for those of you who have C&P on alerts... enjoy the gazillion e-mails. Muahahhaha... no, seriously, sorry! Haha**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. Me? Nothing at all.**

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**EPOV**

"Emmett, you have got to be kidding me. This is the tenth time you've gone to the girls so far. What happened to sharing is caring?" Jasper was definitely on the same page as I was, except he said it in a more polite way. Emmett doing the personal deliveries was getting on my nerves. I wanted to go see her, but according to him, he would be bringing them their drinks tonight. The only thing Jasper and I could do was throw in a few extra drinks in there made especially by us.

"Well, well, well. Me thinks someone has been counting the times, hmm?" Emmett was such an asshole.

"Seriously man, Jasper is right. This is not cool, at all. The two of us haven't had even caught sight of them since they walked in, and the night is almost over." I told him worriedly. I needed to at least talk to her tonight, maybe even get her name if I could. That's all I wanted.

"Relax bro, I've got it all covered. I'm bringing these up, and I'll tell them to hit the dance floor or something. I'm sure they'll make a trip to the bar eventually. Would your big bro let you down?" Emmett replied, smirking at the end. Yup, definitely an asshole.

I was hoping he'd be right.

**BPOV**

New Bella didn't drink. But new Bella apparently wasn't in control tonight.

Before I knew it, I was drunk. Completely full-blown drunk.

Luckily for me, and the only thing I can somehow appreciate from my past antics, I could always handle myself when I was drunk. Well, more like I was fully aware of what I was doing. I never really wanted to drink again, but I had broken a lot of my own rules tonight. Drinking was just another one that I'd hate myself more for in the morning.

When we'd order some drinks, Emmett would bring back a few extras from us. Apparently from his lovely brothers. We thanked him, and told him to extend our thanks to his brothers too. I was way too scared to go down there and thank him myself. I didn't know what exactly to expect. I wasn't myself tonight.

_Or are you?_

Welcome back conscience. You weren't missed at all.

I was swimming in my thoughts, not realizing that Emmett was back with even more drinks in his tray. It amazed me how he could balance all of them without spilling even a drop.

"Ladies, your drinks. Now, let's be honest here, shall we? I've been more than welcoming to the three of you tonight, but now it's time for me to give you my list of concerns."

"List of concerns? Now, Emmett, I hope we haven't brought you so far as to make a list." Rosalie was playing him the entire night just as she was now. Any other guy would've given up already, but Emmett looked like he was in for the ride. _Get ready for the ride of your life_, I thought.

"I have made a list actually. It's all up here." He said, tapping his forefinger on his temple. "There are some brains in this beauty."

"Alright Emmett, let's hear this list then." I laughed. I was really curious if he was being serious or not.

"Well, number one on the list. I'm Emmett, Jasper is the eldest after me with the colourful hair, and Edward is my too pretty for his own good baby brother. You know our names, but we have yet to know yours. Names, please." Emmett stopped, and grinned. "Number two. My brothers are not enjoying the fact that I've been the only one to have met the three of you. They would like you to come down to the bar. You might as well, or even go and dance. Normal people usually dance to music, you know." He cocked his eyebrow while waiting on a counter from one of us. And of course, Rosalie took charge.

"Okay Emmett. Short list, but here's our answers. For your number one, I guess we could tell you our names, considering you've hooked us up tonight. I'm Stacy, this is Lucy and finally Macy." Rosalie said to him, referring to me as Lucy and Alice as Macy. Alice and I were trying to hide our giggling as hard as we could. "And for your number two, we will take up your offer of dancing. Coming down to the bar though, that'll be up for negotiation. If we decide for it to, that is."

Rosalie Hale. You little devil.

Emmett was still grinning, and his eyes didn't break from Rosalie's. "Alright, but let me say this first. Your answer for number one sucked, and I know those aren't your names." He looked over at Alice and me briefly to address us before turning back to Rosalie. "The two of you two can't even try to act, you gave it away with that horrible cover. And for your number two, I appreciate your agreement. But we will have to work on the bar situation. How about a compromise?"

My giggling halted, and turned into a sneer. I still remembered the last compromise I had made with another person. I could feel the bile in my throat.

"Nope. That's it. You can go back to your job now, and we'll be down in a bit." Rosalie had noticed my sudden change, and attempted to get rid of Emmett as fast as she could.

"Well, that's unfortunate. Let me know if you three change your mind. I'll be watching." Emmett gave us a large smile, and walked back to the bar. When he was a clear distance away, Rosalie turned to face me.

"Bella, what was that? Emmett mentioned a compromise, and you went green." I didn't want to get into it yet with Rosalie. My past with compromising, which was more like manipulating, wasn't mentioned to anyone. I wasn't planning on telling the girls anytime soon either.

I was about to answer her, when thankfully Alice had interrupted.

"Macy? You said my name was Macy? Come on Rosalie, couldn't you have been a little more creative?" Alice wasn't happy with the fake name she was given. I had already forgotten what she had named me, but Alice wouldn't let go that easily.

"Alice, I've been drinking. Do you think I could attempt to be the least bit creative in this state? Plus, I was thinking about going shopping before he had asked me, and I thought of Macy's." We laughed Rosalie's explanation, and she had clearly been forgiven by Alice. "Shut up. Let's go dance."

Before heading down to the first floor, we finished off our drinks. We would need them anyways.

**EPOV**

Emmett wasn't up there for long, so Jasper and I were hoping for some good news.

"Those three are definitely a handful, but I've never wanted a girl so much before in my life. Brothers, it seems like Emmett Cullen may have found his match."

Jasper and I couldn't hide our shock. Emmett always told us how much he wanted to settle down eventually, but we never took him seriously. This was the closest he'd ever gotten, and it was definitely unexpected.

"Well, we wouldn't know, would we? Our prick of a big brother has yet to give us a chance." Jasper was getting anxious. And a little sour too.

"Relax, you pansy. They should be coming down soon to do some dancing. You can go introduce yourself, or just be a big pussy as usual and creep her from here. Your choice." Emmett was right, because just then I looked to the stairs and saw them coming down. She was just as beautiful as she was when she walked in. Just the sight of her literally took my breath away.

_Please come here first, _I prayed. I couldn't stop staring at her, and was in bliss when she looked up at me. She didn't do anything at first, but then she smiled. The girl only smiled at me, and I had forgotten how to function. My head starting spinning and I realized that I'd been holding my breath. I sent her back a smile, and saw her blush again. _Stunning._

She looked away, and to my disappointment the three of them headed to the dance floor.

_Damn it._

I wouldn't wait any longer. I had to do something.

**BPOV**

I couldn't control myself as we came down the stairs. I smiled at him, and he smiled back at me. I didn't know what would result of my little stunt, but I had a feeling that I'd be seeing more of him tonight after it. I was so right.

The DJ had just changed the song to Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas.

"Oh my God! This is my jam!" Alice shrieked.

The three of us molded into the crowd, and began dancing. I took advantage of my current situation, letting everything go into my dancing. All the stress, the nerves. All let go. Or at least tried to let go, that is.

The chorus hit, and the three of us sang the words to each other. It had been so long since we'd been so close like this. Actually, we'd never been this close before. I was always the one hiding out in her room or behind a book. Or just hiding really. I was glad this night would benefit our relationship. I didn't know what I would've done without Rosalie and Alice. I would've been a completely different person. Maybe I wouldn't even be alive. I shuddered, thanking God for giving me their friendship, even though I didn't deserve it at all.

The DJ mixed the song into Blame It by Jamie Foxx. Without a doubt, that song fully explained our night.

I looked over at the girls, and they were nowhere in sight. I could feel my heart beating faster.

_Where the hell were they?_

I spun around, and bumped into something. Well, more like someone. I felt two hands settle on my hips, and the sound of chuckling. I looked up, and saw _him_. God, he was so gorgeous. I couldn't even get a word out of my mouth, I felt like I was paralyzed.

"Hey there." He looked down at me, smiling. "My brother may have somehow introduced us, but I figured it'd be proper for me to come to you myself. I'm Edward."

_God, you're so pathetic. You need me!_

I could hear old Bella screaming in my head. I still hadn't moved or said anything when he answered.

"Hey, you okay?" Edward bent his knees down to get down to eye level with me. He looked concerned, like he actually cared. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, I'm fine. That spin didn't work agree with all the alcohol I'd been drinking tonight. Thanks for that, by the way." I answered back finally, laughing at the end. He stood back up.

"My pleasure. Now, since we're in the perfect position and everything, would you like to dance with me…?" He took a move right out of Alice's book.

"Bella."

_What the hell are you doing? _

What _was_ I doing? I was being so straight with him. This wasn't right. I couldn't control myself though. I was saying and doing things without thinking them through first. Old Bella wasn't hiding out tonight.

"Bella. A name just as beautiful as you." I rolled my eyes at his comment, trying to throw him off. "Sorry, a little too corny, huh?"

The guy had charm, and I was trying extremely hard to resist. _Extremely_ hard.

"Right. Are you gonna dance? Or just try to be suave the whole time?" He laughed back at me, and I was satisfied with myself so far. I just had to get this over with quickly, and then go and compose myself after. I could do this.

I grabbed his hands, turned around, and set them back on my waist. I was a good dancer, so I knew what I was doing. I wasn't surprised when I realized that he knew what he was doing too.

We were moving together to the music in perfect unison. It was like we were two pieces to a puzzle, fitting together to make one piece. I couldn't explain how whole I felt at that moment, but it scared me to death. Nonetheless, I was enjoying every moment of it.

The DJ changed the song again, and it was Knock You Down by Keri Hilson.

_Fuck, could these songs be any more proper tonight?_

His thumbs were rubbing my sides, and my right hand went up to rest on the back of his neck. My left hand slid down on his, and I didn't move when he pulled away to intertwine his fingers in mine. He leaned down, and I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Look. We fit."

I tensed. His thoughts were just like mine too. I couldn't believe how this was happening. What was wrong with me? Why was I letting everything that I had given up for my parents to come back to me tonight? Why was Edward bringing the person I disgusted back from the dead?

I couldn't let this happen. This had to stop. I wouldn't allow myself to throw all of my efforts away. I wouldn't let my parents be disappointed in me again. No.

Edward could tell something was wrong, and he moved back slightly but still kept in pace with the music. I stopped dancing, and moved my both of my hands away from him. I turned around, and I saw rejection in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just can't." My eyes were burning, and I knew I was about to break down. I had to find Rosalie and Alice. I couldn't stay here anymore.

I walked away, and saw the girls by the bar. The alcohol in my system wasn't helping me go as fast as I had wanted to. As I approached the bar, I caught Rosalie and Alice leaning on the bar table, laughing with Emmett and Jasper. When they noticed me, however, they immediately stopped and stood up straight. I could hear Edward calling my name from behind me.

"Bella, what's wrong. Is everything okay?" Alice asked me and set one of her hands on my cheek, worried by my troubled expression. I could tell she saw the tears in my eyes.

"No, I'm not okay. Can we leave? Now?" I could barely breathe, and my heart was beating out of my chest.

Rosalie and Alice didn't hesitate. They both got up, each holding one of my hands and walked towards the exit of Midnight Sun.

**EPOV**

_What the fuck did you do, Edward?_ My thoughts didn't like me anymore than I did right now. Except I couldn't put my finger on what exactly I had done wrong. When she put her hand on my neck and on my hand, I figured she was enjoying herself. I was elated too, don't get me wrong. And then all of a sudden, she tenses up, apologizes and leaves.

I followed her, calling her name in hopes that she would stop.

I managed to get to the bar, but her friends had just left with her.

"Dude, what did you do? She looked like walking death." Emmett was as concerned as I was. I had to follow her. I had to apologize for whatever I did.

I weeded through the dance floor that was starting to empty out. When I got outside, I looked around for Bella, silently praying that she hadn't left yet.

I saw her two friends, the blonde one talking on a phone. I heard her give the address for Midnight Sun, so I assumed that she had called a cab. I walked towards them, and saw Bella. She was facing the wall, leaning on it with her forearms and her hands were in her hair. I stopped in my tracks and hesitated, but gave in and headed to her.

"Bella! Bella, are you okay? Listen, I'm sorry." I didn't know what I was apologizing for exactly, but whatever I had done had gotten to her. She turned around and looked up at me, tears running down her face. _God, what the hell was going on?_ I needed her to explain to me what was wrong. I needed to make things right.

She was about to say something, when her eyes focused on something behind me. All of a sudden, I heard a crash and turned to see what it as. Two cars had apparently got into an accident. No biggie. We had a lot of stupid people get drunk at the bar and then try to drive home, but not get very far. They weren't ever too extreme. I looked back at Bella, and saw sheer horror in her face.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong?" Her two friends heard me, and hurried over to her side.

"No. No! Someone help them! They're dying! Rose! Alice! Help them, please! They're dying!" She was screaming, and was about to run to the cars before her friends grabbed.

"NO! What are you doing? I have to save them! It's my fault, please! Let me save them! Get the fuck off of me! They're dying!" The sobs coming from Bella were unbearable, and I felt my heart paining. Alcohol didn't do this to Bella. Something else did.

"Bella, they're okay. Look, everything is okay. They just got out of their car. Please Bella, stop crying. Everything's fine." Her friends were saying anything to try to calm her down, but it wasn't helping.

"I KILLED THEM! They're dead Rosalie! Alice, they're dead! God, why? What did I do wrong? No! Stop, let me fucking go! I need to see them, please!" She was in hysterics, and I was about to suggest that they bring her to a hospital before she hurt herself. She needed some sort of medication to help calm her down before something worse happened.

Her short friend turned, and looked towards me. Her eyes were full of tears. "Listen, do you mind driving us home?" She asked me silently, her voice cracking.

I nodded, and told her to wait for me to get my car from the back. I didn't bother telling my brothers what I was doing. I would explain to them later. They'd understand.

When I came to the front, I got out to help the girls in. The three of them sat in the back. Bella was still sobbing, but her screaming had stopped. Her eyes were fluttering, and when I looked back at her she was sleeping.

Their place was close by, and I decided to mention to them about going to the hospital just in case.

"She doesn't need a hospital," the blonde friend snapped at me.

The short friend glared at the blonde. "Rosalie. Stop." She looked back at me. "She's fine, we'll take care of her. Thank you again Edward."

They attempted to carry her, but I didn't want to risk her waking up. I got out of my car, and carried her to the building. When we arrived into their loft, Rosalie and Alice led me to her bedroom. I set her down on her bed, and they took over to get her dressed into more comfortable clothes. I turned away, not saying anything and went back down the stairs of their loft. I left, completely numb.

I needed to know more about Bella. I needed to help her.

I had to.


	6. Chapter 6 Mad World

**A/N: Let me guess... WOW, right?  
I know, Bella's got maaaajor baggage. Oh, and get ready to cry in this chapter, just saying. If my memory serves me right, I needed some Kleenex.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. I wish I did sometimes...**

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**BPOV**

I awoke to a headache the size of Long Island.

_Hello, hangover._

God, I never missed these. How much did I even drink last night? Whatever it was, it gave me some crazy dream last night. I had another nightmare about the night of my parents' death, and this one seemed the closest to being real that I've had in the longest time. I stood from by bed and walked towards my mirror to look at myself.

Whoa. Clearly drank too much if I not only felt but looked like _this_.

I had makeup smeared all over my face, my hair looked like I somersaulted in a haystack, not to mention my mascara was splotched below my eyes like I was crying.

_Shit. Did I cry last night?_

I headed to our bathroom to attempt to make myself look half decent, and tried to recollect last night's events.

Bitchy waitress. Emmett bringing us drinks. And more drinks. Dancing. Dancing with… Edward?

I couldn't remember anything else really. I would have to talk with the girls about it when they woke up.

I passed on a simple face wash and took a long, hot shower instead. I needed it way too much, considering I looked like I had just barely survived a nuclear attack.

After my shower, I got changed and made my way down to the kitchen. I was surprised to see Alice and Rosalie up, sitting in the living room and watching TV. Well, more like the TV was on, but they were both in their own little worlds.

"Hey guys. I didn't think you'd be up this early." I clearly startled them, as they jumped in their seats and looked at me.

"Early? Bella, it's 3. In the afternoon." Rosalie said to me. The way she looked at me was weird, and I couldn't really place an emotion to it right then.

"Whoa!" I laughed. "I wasn't planning on sleeping for that long. I guess last night was pretty intense, huh?" I couldn't remember all of what had happened, but from what I could remember it was… decent? That was as neutral of a word I could think of at the moment. It'd do.

I headed over to the kitchen to grab some toast and water. I didn't want to push my luck with my stomach. I was kind of waiting for them to continue the conversation, but received silence instead. I looked back over to the both of them, who were still in their seats and looking at me.

"What?" I suddenly got very self conscious. Maybe I should've done a body check this morning too, instead of just my face.

Alice and Rosalie both looked at each other. There was that look again. _What the hell is wrong with them?_

"Bella," Alice spoke up, and turned her head to look at me. "What do you remember about last night?"

I was hoping that they'd tell me instead, but I had a feeling that they wanted me to figure it out myself.

_Or maybe too scared to tell me themselves?_

I shook my head, and answered her out loud. "I remember Rosalie cutting up that waitress. That was hilarious. Um, what else? Oh, meeting Emmett, and him bringing up way too many drinks. I did dance with Edward, except that's the only thing I remember from it. Oh, and I remember the two of you ditching me to go flirt with the two of them. Thanks, by the way. And, that's pretty much it. I did have a crazy nightmare though." I explained to them all that I could remember before mentioning my dream, and ran my hand through my still wet hair.

"Another nightmare? What about?" Alice asked me curiously. She wouldn't be surprised, it was always the same nightmare all the time.

"Same as usual. You know, about the night of the accident. But it was weird though." I squinted, trying to recollect all that I could from it. "It was the closest thing to real that I've had in a long time. Years, actually. This time, I was actually right there when it happened. The crash, I mean. It scared me to death."

Rosalie was still looking at the TV, but looked to me after my explanation of my terribly vivid dream. My mouth fell open when I saw that there were tears in her eyes. I looked at both Rosalie and Alice's faces, and didn't need either of them to say anything. I already knew all I needed to know.

"It wasn't a nightmare."

I leaned back on our kitchen island, and slowly slid to the ground. My tears weren't holding back, even in the state I was in now.

"It was real. All real. Oh my God. What's wrong with me? Am I going crazy?" I managed to choke out. Alice and Rosalie both stood to join me on the ground and wrapped their arms around my sides. Rosalie's tears were falling, and Alice was quietly sobbing.

It felt like an eternity had gone by before the three of us stopped crying. The tears were still there, but we composed ourselves enough to be able to speak. Rosalie unhooked herself from me and looked straight in my eyes.

"Bells, you are not crazy. And I never want to hear you say that again." She was being serious now, so I nodded my head at her and was about to say something back when she continued. "But you have to listen to me. This pain that you've been dealing with is eating you alive. You can't keep pretending anymore. You need to move on."

I instantly tensed and was almost in a fury. My teeth clenched, and I frowned at Rosalie. My expression was still the same, even when she leaped out of her spot.

"Stop it. Stop! I'm sick of this Bella! I'm sick of you doing this to yourself! You've taken this huge weight upon yourself." To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Neither Rosalie nor Alice had been so upfront with me about my past, and I wasn't expecting them to start anytime soon. The shock only fueled my anger even more though.

"You're sick of it? How do you think I feel? I killed my parents, Rosalie. I'm the reason that they are cold, dead and rotting underground! You're sick of me doing this to myself, but I'm the one who's sick of looking in the mirror every single day and looking at this!" I pointed to myself and screamed. "I don't deserve to be alive after what I've done!"

"What don't you understand? _You_ didn't kill your parents. _Jacob_ _Black_ did!" Rosalie hissed back at me, and chuckled. "And, you know what? It'd be better for you to be dead than to live like some fake phony."

That was it. I moved myself away from Alice and started my way up to my room.

"That's right. Run away from your problems!" Rosalie hollered as I went up the stairs, and I heard Alice's quiet sobbing. "Go and hide, but I'm not letting this go anymore Bella! You have to let go!"

I walked into my room, and slammed my door shut so they couldn't hear my sobbing. After a few moments, I stopped crying. I had no energy left in me anymore to cry, I couldn't anymore. I looked around my room, and saw my guitar case in the corner, which brought me back to my graduation.

"_Hey all star! Congrats on finally getting high school done with! Tell me, how does it feel?" Dad held his hand out like he had a microphone in it, and was videotaping me as we headed towards the house._

"_It feels like a lifetime of girls with hissy fits, pubescent boys and disastrous teachers is over at last." I answered him back, playing along with his game and holding his 'microphone' while answering him. _

_Dad stopped recording and Mom laughed. "Oh, come on baby. I'm sure it wasn't that bad. There had to be some good memories, right?" She was right. There were a few things, but if I had told her what they were then I probably would've been grounded. I'd just keep that to myself for now._

_Before we opened the door, my parents stopped and turned to look at me._

"_What?" I asked. _

_They both smiled. "Well, we figured that we'd get you a graduation gift. You know how good you've been getting at the guitar right?" Mom asked._

_She was right, I was getting pretty good. I met Jacob's friend, Seth, a little while back and he was amazing at playing guitar. He even gave me lessons for free. _

"_Yup, I'm like a female Jimi Hendrix." I said to them, adding in a little bit of me playing air guitar to make them laugh. And it worked, of course. _

"_Well, I don't know about that. Not yet, that is. Anyways, your mother and I thought it would be hard for you to see Seth all the time once you hit college." Dad told me. _Fuck_, I thought. _How could I forget about that? _ I hadn't exactly told them about my fall plans yet. I was trying to find the right time, but there never was one._

_My parents turned back to the door and opened it, signaling for me to go in. I walked into the living room, and gasped._

_Leaning on our couch was a beautiful, Gibson acoustic guitar. It was the exact one that I told Seth I wanted when we went to that music store. Except for the fact that it basically cost an arm and a leg. I guessed he must've told my parents, and I made a mental note to thank him for it._

"_No way. You guys! This thing is so expensive, I can't believe you got it for me!" I ran up to my parents and grabbed them both in a hug. "Thank you so much! I love it!"_

_My parents smiled and didn't let go of my hug. _

"_You are very much welcome Isabella," Mom whispered to me. "You deserve it."_

I walked over to my guitar. It had been so long since I'd played it, I couldn't even remember if I could play it properly now. Playing guitar was always a way for me to take the edge off of whatever I was dealing with. Back then, there was always something. After I lost my parents, I found a stronger reason not to play my guitar again. I guess it was more that I just didn't want to play it because of its meaning. It was linked to both my parents. And to Jacob.

I took a deep breath in through my mouth, and let it go slowly through my nose.

It was time for me to play my guitar.

I unzipped the bag slowly, and the zipper felt like it weighed a ton. After the zipper was undone, I looked hard at my guitar. It was still the stunning piece of art that I had been given by the two people I'd loved more than words could express.

I took my guitar out of my bag, and sat on the floor by my bed. I didn't play yet. I wasn't sure what I would play, or how I would start really. I just sat there, waiting. Waiting for something, anything that would lead me in the way I was supposed to go. I waited until I realized that there was nothing coming. I wasn't going to be shown where to go or what to do at that moment. It was all up to me.

So I started playing.

I wasn't sure what I was playing until a few moments into it. I recognized it as Mad World. I never understood the meaning of the song before, but now I did.

My fingers were playing, and I began to sing.

_All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere  
Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow_

Images of my parents flooded my mind. The way they looked at me, glowing when I would come home from school. They'd always be in smiles when I did something right, which according to them was always. I never complained.

_And I find it kinda funny  
I find it kinda sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very, very mad world  
Mad world_

My dreams and hopes of sudden death were slowly fading. My feelings of sorrow and guilt accompanied them. My shoulders moved back slightly, as if there had been a large weight lifted off of them.

_Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday  
Made to feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen  
Went to school and I was very nervous  
No one knew me, no one knew me  
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson  
Look right through me, look right through me _

I remembered my empty birthdays. I couldn't celebrate another year of my life, because I didn't want to have to live it. And I was too much of a coward to end it. I remembered the first days of my new life. Me as new Bella. I was a nobody. Worthless. Empty. No one ever came close to me. I understood why now. I was a living person without a soul.

_And I find it kinda funny  
I find it kinda sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very, very mad world... world  
Enlarge your world  
Mad world_

I hadn't noticed that my tears were started flowing again, but they were not tears of sorrow. I didn't know how to explain it, but these tears were not the same as the ones I had constantly shed over the last four years.

I didn't realize that my door was open either. Rosalie and Alice were both standing in the doorway, crying as well. I looked up at them, and sobbed. It wasn't me seeking forgiveness from them. Not yet. I had much more to do for them to repay them for all that they had done for me so far.

They both came back to my sides and held each of my hands. I leaned my head on Rosalie's shoulder, tears still falling.

It was time for a change.

It was time for me to live again.

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**Are you crying? Well, clean off that snot so it doesn't get on your keyboard and click that little button! =)**


	7. Chapter 7 Unexpected Surprises

**A/N: Welcome back! Hope you're enjoying the ride, it sure as hell has been a bumpy one!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. So sad, wish I were smart enough to think of that...**

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**EPOV**

A week had gone by since the night I met Bella. And I couldn't stand how I was feeling after what had happened that night too.

I had said something, or done something that triggered some sort of breakdown. I mean, I know she was drunk, but there was something else about her. There was something else hidden in her that was a major reason for it all. I knew it was none of my business, but I had to find out what it was. I wanted to help her get through it.

_Fuck, I'm wrapped up over this girl and I barely even know her._

I'd never felt this way about anyone before. Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of girlfriends in the past. But this was nothing like that. I was always envious of the strong relationship my parents had. They were so in love with each other, even after all these years of being together. I never thought I could have something even remotely close to that. Bella had proven me wrong. So unbelievably wrong. She was all that I could think about. When I woke up, I thought of Bella. When I went to bed, I thought of Bella. My dreams. All Bella.

I was planning on dropping by her loft a few days after our meeting, but I decided not to. It wasn't my place, you know? As much as I had wanted to, I could tell that whatever had happened wasn't something that she would want to discuss. I mean, she basically hightailed out of there after everything. That's convincing enough.

I woke up that morning after another long, busy night at Midnight Sun. Well, more like I was woken up. 11 in the morning was way too early for me today. I got up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and brush. When I was done, I changed into some clean flannel pants and a plain white t-shirt. I wasn't working tonight, and my stressing was eating me alive so all I really wanted to do was relax at home. So much for that, anyways.

I made my way to our lounge where I heard Emmett and Jasper's arguing and laughter. I looked around at our spacious condo again, thanking my Mom for her amazing job at decorating. If it was down to the three of us, this place would've been a disaster. All of the rooms were painted neutral, calm colours. The lounge area had a large couch which faced our plasma, flat screen TV. The living room, which we never really sat in, looked like it came out of a magazine. There was only a couch and loveseat in there, but it was still really nice. The kitchen was one of my favourite parts of the house, and the guys loved it too. They didn't spend much time in it, but I did. They love it because my cooking is pretty damn amazing if I say so myself. Anything that keeps their stomachs full keeps them happy. Finally, our dining room. It overlooked the lounge, and all it consisted of was a ten seat dining table and a rug. I never understood why Mom insisted on making it a ten seater, when there was only the three of us. I guess she thought we'd have guests over, but to be honest, we never did. NYC may be huge, but the only people who have seen our place in here have been the three of us. We never brought any girls here, and we hadn't made any good, trustworthy friends yet. It's a dog eat dog world out there, so you've always got to keep your eye out for yourself. And your brothers, of course.

As I made my way to the lounge, I grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen. I was always really hungry in the morning. I got to the lounge and found the source of my rude awakening.

_Damn Xbox._

That thing was going to be the death of me. I seriously sucked at playing anything according to my brothers, so I never really bothered trying most of the time. Jasper and Emmett loved that stupid machine; it was the last item packed from home and the first item unpacked when we got here. I couldn't tell what they were playing now, but I didn't really care either. The two of them hadn't even noticed me walk in, which wasn't surprising.

"Hey assholes. Thanks for the great wake up this morning." I frowned at them, taking another bite of my granola bar. "Seriously though, you two are louder than the game itself."

What did surprise me then was when they gazed at me, stood up and turned off the gaming console. I was confused. And a little scared.

"Listen man. You've been acting weird since that night Bella had that crazy breakdown." Emmett said to me. I cocked my eyebrow at him when he said 'crazy breakdown', because I didn't like the way that sounded at all. He ignored it. "So here's my big brother advice for you. Either do something, or snap out of it."

I hadn't really thought that my worrying about Bella was coming off on the guys. I didn't mean to. It's just that I hadn't been through something like this before. I didn't really know how to act, to be honest.

"Sorry guys. Seriously, I don't want to sound like some creeper, but I've been thinking about her. A lot." I sighed, looking down to the ground. "What happened that night… I can't even begin to explain to you two how I felt. I just don't know what to do now."

"Well, you could always go there or something. I mean, I was talking to Alice last night –"

"Whoa! You were talking to _Alice_ last night? When the fuck were you planning on telling us?" My head snapped up, and Emmett had interrupted him. "I'm getting blue balls over here just thinking about Rosalie, and you're having phone sex with Alice?"

Emmett was fuming, and I was definitely pissed too. It wasn't like Jasper to not tell us something like this. Jasper could feel our anger radiating, so he backed up away from us a few steps.

"No, wait. Hear me out." He began to explain.

"Alice and I really hit it off that night, and we both agreed that the whole playing hard to get thing wasn't for us. We were really honest with each other, even though we'd just met. There's just something about her, so I couldn't help it. I gave her my number, and she was about to give me hers before Bella came up to them. When they got home that night, she called me and was crying. She was upset over what had happened with Bella, and I tried to get some more info out of her, you know? I asked her what triggered it, and she said she couldn't say. That apparently it's something really serious, but as Bella's best friend, she wouldn't speak a word of it. We've been talking every night since –"

It was my turn to interrupt. "Every night? Jasper, what the hell? You know how I've been eating myself alive this last week because of what happened to Bella. And now, out of nowhere, you're breaking all this news out now? Well, fuck you." I turned to storm off to my room when Jasper grabbed my arm from behind me, and I pulled it away but didn't walk away. Yet.

"Listen, I know you're mad. Both of you. And you deserve to be. But can I seriously finish fucking telling you everything first before you start cussing me out?" I turned back to face Jasper, and noticed how red his face was going. I wasn't trusting myself to open my mouth, so I just nodded my head. Emmett followed.

"Okay. So anyways, I didn't tell you guys that I'd been talking to Alice because she hadn't told Rosalie or Bella either. We were kind of keeping it a secret. We weren't planning to, but after what had happened with Bella, we thought it would be best to just keep it on the down low until everything was figured out. She told me nothing about what was up with Bella, but I kind of picked up on some stuff. From what I could tell, there's something up with her. Or I mean, something kind of happened to her to have made her act that way. I think something tragic in the past or whatever. I'm not really sure. But that, plus her drinking a lot that night led to her freaking out. Alice told me that she was scared for her every day. They've known each other for like, four years or something. The three of them know each other inside and out."

I walked to the couch and sat down. This was a lot of information to take all at once.

"So when I talked to her last night," Jasper continued. "She told me that she thought things were looking a little better. That Bella had some sort of epiphany apparently. And that she wants us to come over for dinner tonight at their place. You know, like a proper get together. I already agreed, so you bastards better not have made any other plans. And if you did, cancel."

I had butterflies in my stomach. More like a swarm of them, really. I was definitely going to go tonight, but what would I say? Should I act like nothing happened? Should I apologize again?

_Jeez, Edward. Don't hurt yourself._

I'd think about all of that later, there was still time to get ready for tonight's dinner.

I guess Emmett was doing as much thinking as I was, because he had his hand settled just under his chin and was tapping his bottom lip with his forefinger. Jasper was still waiting on something from us. From the look on his face, I think he was hoping that we'd forgiven him. I decided to speak up to ease him of his worries.

"Alright, fine. I get why you didn't tell us, but I'm still a little pissed that you didn't." I said as I got up from my seat on the couch and walked over to set my hand on his shoulder. "I'm good with dinner tonight. But anyways, that kind of screws up my plans for today cause I had some errands to run. I'll just go do them now then."

"What time is dinner?" Emmett asked. Of course he would. The guy was going to have dinner at the girl who makes him feel like silly putty's house, and he was concerned about what time he was going to eat.

"7. If you have anything to do, go do it now. 645 is the latest we leave," Jasper informed us. He was always the one picky with being on time.

I walked back to my room to change. My room wasn't all that extravagant really. It was painted white, and had a large bed in the middle of it. Mom always said something about how an all white room would look gorgeous, so I just took her word for it.

_Has that woman ever been wrong?_

I had a large mirror on one wall, as well as a painting that my father had bought for me. Other than that, I had a dresser facing my bed and a large walk in closet.

On the wall by my windows was my greatest accomplishment. I'd been taking piano lessons since I was a young child, and a few years back I was given the opportunity to go to a very prosperous school in Italy. They only accepted one student every year per specific instrument, and I was chosen for piano. I mean, I play a bunch of instruments, but my heart was always with playing the piano.

Anyways, every year one student is chosen to conduct the final, year-end performance. And that year, I was hand-picked. God, just thinking about it now, I was so terrified. I composed my own piece of work for a piano solo, and then made another composition for the orchestra to join in on. It was the most difficult thing I'd ever done in my life, but it was also the most unforgettable. I was given that plaque after performing in front of thousands of people. I'd never been so proud of myself in my life.

I got changed and headed out but not before being stopped by Jasper.

"Edward, listen." He put his hands on my shoulders and slightly pushed back. "I'm really sorry, really. But I want you to know something. I think you should go after Bella. Seriously, the way you look at her man, I've never seen you act that way before. Take advantage of tonight."

I smiled at Jasper, appreciating what he was saying to me at that moment. "Thanks Jasper. I've got a lot to think about before tonight, that's for sure. Anyways, I really gotta go. So unless you want to kiss and make up, can I leave now?"

Jasper laughed and moved his arms back to his sides. "Pass. I'll see you later man. Don't forget, 645!"

"Relax. Have I ever let you down?" I yelled to him as I sped out the door.

Today was going to be a good day.

**BPOV**

"You did WHAT?" Rosalie screeched at Alice.

_Uh oh. Get ready for it._

"I told him to invite the guys for dinner," Alice said sheepishly, looking up from the ground. "Come on Rose! Don't deny it, I know you've been thinking about Emmett a lot. Can't you just say thank you and hug me already?" She pouted, and put her arms out towards Rosalie.

We woke up a few hours before, and Alice decided to inform us of her many secrets this week. One, she talked to Jasper pretty much every night since the night we met. Two, she's basically in love with him. Well, she didn't say that, but she might as well have. And three, she invited the boys for dinner. At our loft. Tonight.

I didn't really know how I felt, but I had a lot of potential feelings running through me. Nervous? Excited? Scared? Happy?

I had been trying to work on myself since the night after my breakdown, but I hadn't gotten very far yet. That's what I thought anyways, but the girls thought otherwise. They informed me that it would take time for me to get better, and for where I was now was better than they had thought. I was playing my guitar any chance I could, and I'd even started writing my own stuff again. I wanted to get better fast, but I figured it'd take a lot of work and time. I didn't mind, as long as I had Rose and Alice by my side.

Alice assumed that it was time for us to finally get together with Emmett, Jasper and Edward. I wasn't sure if I was ready, but I wasn't going to make her upset by saying that. On the other hand, Rosalie didn't care at all.

"Alice Hale, you are a horrible sister. I can't believe you did this without asking us!" Rosalie swatted Alice's arms away, making her pout even larger. "I mean, you could've at least asked Bella about it."

I looked up at Rosalie, and then Alice. I knew what I had to do. I had to be open with them.

"Well, I mean… I don't know, I don't really mind. I'm not really sure if am ready, but I'm willing to try. I think I'm just scared." I said that last part quietly, hoping that they wouldn't have heard me. So much for hoping.

"Bells, why are you scared? There's nothing to be scared of." Rosalie walked up to me and draped her arm around my shoulder. "If you don't want this, Alice will call them right now and cancel."

"Yeah Bella, I'll totally cancel. I'm sorry, I should've asked you." Alice got up from her seat on the kitchen stool to come and stand near me.

"No, please. Don't. I think that I'm scared about how I'm going to face Edward and the other guys." I hated being so honest with them, but I had to. "I don't know what to say to them. Do I just act like nothing happened? I'm not comfortable telling either of them about what's really going on, but I'm not sure how to avoid it, you know?"

"Bella, you don't have to tell them anything. We never expected you to either. Just be yourself. No one's going to pressure you into talking about anything. And if they do, we'll be there to dodge whatever bullet they fire at you." Rosalie smirked, and I felt a huge wave of relief spread over me. I was truly blessed with these two.

I sighed, and smiled back at the both of them. "Okay, thanks you two. Seriously, you're both great."

Alice laughed and looked at Rose and me. "Of course I'm great, duh! Fashionista, full time stunner and the best ever best friend. I'm like a triple threat!"

Rosalie and I burst out laughing at Alice, and pulled her into a large hug. After we'd settled, I had just remembered something.

"Damn, I completely forgot!" I said to them. "I was going to head down to the music store today to grab a few things for my guitar and some paper. I might as well go now, and I'll grab some groceries today for dinner."

The girls agreed, and I made my way up to my room. I threw on some jeans, a blue v-neck t-shirt and a pair of black gladiators.. As I yelled bye to the girls, who were getting ready to clean the place, I remembered something else.

"Hey! Since I'm clearly cooking tonight, any requests?" I definitely wanted some inputs from the two of them for tonight.

"Chicken stir fry!" They both yelled out. It was their favourite dish anyways.

When I got to my car, I decided to head to the music store first. It made more sense; I didn't want the groceries getting gross in the car. The music store was only about a 10 minute drive, but it took longer to get there when there was traffic. Then again, there's traffic everyday in NYC, but it varies. It wasn't too bad today, so I got there in 15 minutes. I walked into La Tua Cantante, and headed straight to the guitar section. I was looking through a few items, when I heard the most beautiful sound from behind me that made my heart race.

"Hey Bella."

**EPOV**

I got into my Volvo 3CC, a little parting gift from my parents, and headed to La Tua Cantante. It was by far my favourite music store in the city, and I was in there at least three times a month. The owners, Peter and Charlottte, even knew me by name.

I got to the store and stopped by to say Peter and Charlotte first, but something caught my eye first.

Bella.

Bella was here. Here. In La Tua Cantante. And she was looking as gorgeous as ever. I didn't know what to do at that point, whether to go say hi to her or book it out of there.

_God, you're such a pussy Edward. Just go already._

I gave in and walked up to her, and said whatever came to my mind.

"Hey Bella."

_Smooth, idiot._

She tensed, and turned to look at me. Her big, brown eyes were so stunning. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. "Hey Edward."

Great, it was going to be one of those awkward conversations. The last thing I wanted her to feel around me was awkward, so I had to take this into my own hands.

"Didn't think I'd catch you in here. And I didn't really know you played either." It was true, I didn't know she played. Then again, I didn't know anything about her really.

"Yeah, I'm kind of surprised myself," She chuckled, looking down at her feet for a moment before looking back up at me. "I play the guitar. Well, I started playing again I mean. I just came by to pick up some paper and a stand."

"No way, you write too?" I said, taken aback. This girl was amazing me more and more every time I found something new about her.

"Well, like I said, I hadn't been playing for a while. But I used to write, and I'm getting back into it now." _God, she's incredible._ I had to compose myself.

"Oh, that makes sense. What kind of guitar do you have?" It was always said that you could tell how great a person was at playing an instrument by knowing what they played. I wasn't sure if Bella knew that, but I knew a lot about guitars so I could tell.

"Gibson J-185." She answered me calmly. My jaw dropped, and my eyes widened. _Are you serious?_

"Wow. That thing is a legend! You must be really good." I had to remind myself to ask her to play for me one day. If I was turned on just hearing her talk about playing, I didn't know what'd happen to me if she actually played for me.

"I'm okay," Bella laughed, shrugging her shoulders. I could tell our conversation was relaxing her a little bit, and I was grateful for it. "What do you play?"

"Piano." I replied, smirking. "And I'm okay too."

We both laughed together, and our laughter made harmony. Just the sound of her laughter together was warming my heart. After we'd stopped laughing, I just couldn't stop looking at her. She was absolutely stunning. Even in simple, snug fitting jeans and a blue v-neck. I took a mental note of how good blue it looked on her, and that it was probably her favourite colour. I didn't know how long I was looking at her, but I snapped out of it when her cheeks turned pink. I sighed. I would never get enough of her.

Bella chuckled nervously. "What?"

I shook my head, hitting myself for being so stupid. "Nothing, sorry."

We fell into another awkward silence, and I was about to say something completely random when she stopped me.

"So listen, I know you're probably wondering what happened that night –"

"No, Bella it's okay." I interrupted her. She didn't need to explain herself to me.

"No, just listen. Please?" She asked, and I nodded my head. "I drank a lot, and I've been through… well, it's complicated. Anyways, I just don't want tonight to be weird because of it, you know? Can we just, you know, get passed it?"

I didn't know what to say, but for her sake and because my momentarily blank mind, I agreed.

"Yeah, absolutely. Whatever you want, Bella." I told her, and I was being honest. She gazed at me for a moment, as if she was thinking about something, and looked back down. I noticed that she was blushing again, and I wished I knew what she was thinking.

"Um, okay. Perfect." She grabbed a few packs of paper as well as a guitar stand, and headed towards the cashier as I followed. I was about to offer to pay for her, but I didn't think she'd appreciate that. She seemed like a very independent person, and I might've offended her by paying. I was always used to girls enjoying the fact that they didn't have to spend a dollar when I was around, but I've said this before and I'll say it again. Bella was different. And I loved it.

My mind froze when I thought of the L word. _Easy tiger, let's not move too fast. She might not even like you that way._

I had to control myself.

After Bella had paid, she turned to face me. "Okay, well, I guess I'll be seeing you tonight?"

I smiled at her, and nodded. "Of course, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

"Great." She laughed. "I'll see you tonight then. And make sure you guys come hungry!"

She gave me a small wave, and turned to head out of the store. Bella had such a large influence on me, it was insane. I quickly grabbed the things I needed and got back in my car to head home.

I thought about a lot during the drive, and I had the time to considering the massive New York traffic.

She wanted me to get past what had happened. To forget about it, pretty much. I didn't know if I could do that. She looked better, but there was still something hidden behind her eyes.

I still had a lot to find out about Bella. I wasn't going to forget just yet.

It would all start that tonight.

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**WOW! What do you think Edward has planned for tonight, huhhhh? Give me your guesses!**


	8. Chapter 8 Dinner

**A/N: Guess you're excited about the dinner, huh? I sure am! Let the games begin!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related.**

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**BPOV**

I headed to the grocery store after leaving La Tua Cantante, and then finally got home after that. The meeting with Edward was pretty awkward, but I can't even begin to explain how I felt after I'd left. The way he acted with me, how he'd came up to me at first and talked to me like I hadn't been a raging psychopath the last time we were together was definitely unexpected. I was planning on him seeing me and running out of the store, or barely even talking to me at all.

_The poor sap actually cares about you._

During the drive home, I was deliberating about whether or not I should tell the girls about our little encounter. I mean, it wasn't like it was this big thing, but still. Then again, I said that I'd be honest with them from now on about everything. It wouldn't be any good to me or to them if I went back on my word now.

As I walked in the door, groceries in hand, I called out to the girls that I was home. I checked the clock quickly to see how much time I had to work with.

4:30?

Was I really gone for that long? I had so much to do already!

Thankfully, Rosalie and Alice came down the steps from upstairs. The two of them had just showered, as they were both wrapped in towels.

"Bella, seriously, could you have taken any longer?" Alice asked me, as she adjusted the towel on her head. "Do you even know what time it is? And you haven't even showered yet!"

I didn't have time to answer her because Alice surprised me by immediately running up to me and softly and continuously pushing my back, leading me to the shower.

As much as I didn't want to, I had to take a quick shower. There wasn't much time left to get ready to be good enough for Alice and Rosalie, plus get dinner ready before the guys got here.

I walked out of the shower, and was welcomed by a now changed Alice. She was already changed into her adorable simple blue dress. It was sleeveless, mid-thigh length and had a belt to complete it. I was used to Alice wearing more extravagant clothing, so I was surprised to see her in something a little less of her normal attire. Nonetheless, she looked gorgeous.

Again, I couldn't comment on how she looked, because I was already being pushed into my room to get ready. As I finished getting my bra on, I heard a knock on my door and Alice's voice.

"Ready or not, here I come!" She walked in right after, giggling with a dress in hand. "Put this on. I saw it in the mall and thought of you. Come on! Move it girl!"

I laughed at Alice, and took the dress from her. I put it on quickly, and received awes in return from her. Again, no comments were exchanged because I was rushed back into the bathroom where Rosalie was waiting. She was already dressed as well and the girl was dressed to kill, as usual. She was donning a beautifully cut white dress, which went down to her mid-thigh as well. And of course, the perfect bust line for her perfect cleavage. Rosalie wouldn't settle without. The table was full of cosmetics and hair tools that would made me cringe. These two had way too much fun doing this to me.

As Rosalie was working on my hair and Alice was working on my face, I decided to inform them of what had happened earlier.

"So, I ran into Edward at La Tua Cantante."

They both stopped what they were doing and gasped. Okay, wasn't the exact reaction I was expecting, but it was good enough. I silently prayed that Rosalie wouldn't burn my head with the curling iron she was using.

"No way!" Rosalie yelled, a little louder than needed too. "So what happened?"

"And what the hell is La Tua Cotuntay?" Alice added.

"Alice, who cares?" Rosalie snapped at her.

_Sisters._

"La Tua _Cantante_, Alice." I looked at her sympathetically, hoping to make up for Rosalie's usual bitchiness, even though Alice was probably immune to it by now. "And nothing really happened. He came up to me. We talked. That was pretty much it."

"Oh _come on_ Bella, you're so transparent." Rosalie replied, rolling her eyes. "You guys must've talked about something interesting, at least."

Damn, she was right. If it wasn't for her holding something that could scald my head, I would've made something up. I wasn't risking my hair for it.

"Well, we talked about my playing guitar. And writing. And he told me that he played piano and wrote too. And then he started to touch on that night, but I told him that I wanted to get past that and forget about it. And he agreed. That was it."

The two of them both went back to their styling, and nodded their heads in approval.

"That's good Bella." Alice spoke up, as she started doing my lips. Sign of an almost completion. "I'm really proud of how you handled all of that. And I'm really glad that you and Edward are past that awkward point now. It'll help tonight."

I smiled, and began to nod my head in approval, but ended up with Rosalie's wrath instead.

"Excuse me, but do you want to look like shit?" She barked at me. "As much as I am glad that you worked everything out, this gives me another reason to make you look good tonight. So stop moving!" Rosalie sure had a way with words.

A little while later, they were both completed. They turned me to the mirror, and I was scared. I didn't know what to expect. I spent so long trying not to look in that mirror, because I didn't like what I saw in return. This was another step, to look at myself and not want to scream in horror.

After some hesitation, I slowly looked up to see what was in front of me.

I saw a girl. Pretty, young girl. She was dressed in a sleeveless, short white dress with a floral print on it. She was pale, with brown eyes and long, wavy brown hair. Her makeup wasn't much, but it accentuated her features. Her eyes were the most intriguing though. They were big, but they were empty. Like there was no soul in her.

I turned my gaze back down as I felt my throat tighten, and I was ready to wait for the tears before I felt someone's hand rub my shoulder.

"Bells, you okay?" Alice asked me silently. I looked to her and half-smiled.

"Yeah, I don't really know what 'okay' is Alice." I sighed, and turned my head to look back at my reflection. "I haven't looked at myself like this in a long time, because I've always been scared of what I'd see back. Of the person I'd see looking right back at me."

I left out the part about wanting to gag too.

Rosalie put her hands on my shoulders and turned me so I was facing her.

"Bella, we can't do this tonight, but I have a plan for us, okay?" She said to me, as I eyed her curiously. "From now on, any night that we're both home, I want you to sit in front of a mirror with me."

I shook my head furiously. I couldn't do that, especially not so often. It would be too much.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Bella, just listen. And stop doing that, you're ruining your hair. I'll be with you, and I want you to look at yourself. I want you to see you. How well you're doing each day. I won't give you all the details now, but we'll work something out. This is going to be good for you, I promise. Would I ever let you down?"

_You wouldn't, but I sure would._

I sighed, and agreed. "Fine, I'll give it a try." I said softly, getting a nod from Rosalie.

The three of us checked the time at that moment and almost freaked out. It was 630, and we were running really late.

Time to get moving!

**EPOV**

I got home after finishing all that I had to do at around 5, and decided to take another shower since I had enough time. It wasn't like I was dirty or anything, but it would pass the time. And, I kind of needed a cold one after thinking about Bella the whole day. And how hot she looked when I saw her. And when she blushed…

_Damn it. That shower is definitely necessary._

When I finished, it was 530. I didn't need an hour to get ready, more like 5 minutes. I wrapped a towel around me, and headed to the lounge. I heard noises from the kitchen, so I went to check it out. Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the stools and eating some cold pizza from the other night.

"Seriously guys, we're supposed to be eating at the girls' tonight!" I forgot to mention to them that Bella had said to come on empty stomachs.

"You know what's serious? You putting on some pants." Emmett replied, though his reply was muffled by the amount of pizza in his mouth.

Thank God I had one sane brother. Okay, more like one that didn't spit his food at me when he talked.

"Edward, we haven't eaten in 2 hours. It's almost 6 now, so we'll be eating at say 730 there. That's enough time to get hungry again." Jasper answered me. You wouldn't expect a guy his size to eat so much yet still look like that.

I sighed as I heard a grumbling come from my stomach. As much as I hated admitting it, my brothers were right. I joined in on their pizza party.

I hadn't told them about my encounter with Bella yet. I wasn't sure if it was a big deal really. But then again, the mixed feelings running through my head were giving me a migraine. That was it. I needed some brotherly advice.

"So I saw Bella today." Good icebreaker? Yeah, maybe not.

Thankfully, Emmett's mouth was way too full for him to even open it. I didn't want to be covered in half-eaten pizza. Jasper's mouth, however, wasn't as occupied.

"Edward, you tell us now?" He asked as he cocked his eyebrow at me. "You went out forever ago, and drop the bomb now? Alright, spill it little brother."

It was my turn to cock my eyebrow at him. Another name I didn't like other than the obvious, was little brother. Oh, and my big brothers knew that fully.

"I didn't tell you two because I didn't think it was a big deal." I began to explain.

"Big deal?" Emmett blurted out. You wouldn't think that saying two words would result in both eaten and non-eaten food everywhere. Including on my face.

_Gross._

I grabbed a paper towel and wiped my face of whatever landed on it from Emmett's mouth. "Seriously, Emmett. Could you at least wait until you've already swallowed whatever disgusting heap you've got in your mouth? I really don't enjoy being covered in your ABC food."

I was expecting an apology, but I didn't get one. I ended up getting more food, but moved back quick enough to avoid it.

"ABC?" Emmett asked.

"Already been chewed, now can you not make me regurgitate my food by watching you spit yours everywhere?" Jasper snapped at him.

"You can't regurgitate, Jasper. You're not a bird. Ha! More proof that I'm smarter than you, Ivy boy." Emmett ranted, pointing at Jasper and then walking to the fridge with his head held high. We both rolled our eyes at our abnormal brother.

"We need to get rid of the Discovery Channel." I told Jasper, smirking.

Jasper nodded in agreement. "Yeah, before the big lug outsmarts us. Anyways, you ran into Bella? And this wasn't a big deal because?"

"Because it really wasn't." I retorted, not enjoying how well the two of them knew me at this moment. "I mean, okay, it was a little bit. I'm not sure what's going on. Seriously, if any random chick went apeshit like that in front of me, I would've been out like that. With Bella, I don't know. It's different. It's like, no matter what, everything she does just pulls me closer to her."

"You're in love, my friend." Emmett said, except it echoed considering half his body was in the fridge.

"Sorry bro, but he is kind of right." Jasper added, nodding his head towards Emmett.

"Okay, Love Doctor, answer me this." I stood up from my chair and crossed my arms. "How the hell can I be in love with Bella when I barely know anything about her? I don't even know her last name!"

Emmett came out of the fridge, and set three bottles of Corona's on the table. Good, they were definitely needed.

"First of all, uncross your damn arms. If only you had your hip cocked out, I would've thought you were a fucking pansy." I narrowed my eyes at Emmett and uncrossed my arms. "Second, it's so obvious. Just because you don't know a lot about her, doesn't mean you won't have this strong bond with her. To be honest, I feel almost the same way with Rosalie."

"Same goes with Alice and I." Jasper added.

"Just do your thing, little bro. Everything will work out. Maybe this dinner will be good for the both of you."

Jasper glanced at the clock as Emmett mentioned dinner, and jumped from his seat. "Speaking of dinner, it's 630. Let's move it!"

The three of us all ran to our rooms to get ready in the small amount of time that we had left. Then again, 15 minutes was 10 minutes longer than needed. I took my time, anyways.

I threw on some jeans, and a white v-neck t-shirt. It was just a casual dinner, so I wasn't going all out with a suit or anything. I wanted everyone to be comfortable with everything, you know? I ruled out the sneakers, however, and put on some Vans instead. Looked a little dressier, I guess.

I walked out of my room and noticed that both of my brothers were in the washroom analyzing themselves. _And I get called the fucking pansy. Yeah, right._

"Alright, let's hit the road!"

Dinner and the girls were waiting.

**BPOV**

"What time is it?" Alice's voice shrilled from her room. I looked behind me to check out the clock.

"650! Come downstairs! Rose, you too!" I hollered back from the kitchen. I was hoping not to get dinner late, considering our long time getting ready. I was more than happy that I stuck with buying cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory for dessert, so I didn't have to worry about that. For an appetizer, I fixed up everything for hot and sour soup. The girls loved it, so I just hoped that the guys would too. And of course, chicken stir fry for the main course.

Rosalie and Alice were coming down the stairs just in time, because the doorbell had just rang. My insides were going crazy, as if I had a rollercoaster in my stomach. I had to put my hand down on the counter to ease some of it.

Alice went to open the door, and the three gorgeous boys walked right in. Dressed perfectly, I might add. Emmett walked in first, wearing jeans and a red button up shirt. Jasper followed, wearing jeans as well topping it off with a snug fitting blue crewneck t-shirt. Finally, Edward walked in. He looked absolutely breathtaking wearing his jeans and white v-neck. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, but had to look away quickly as I noticed him turn his head my way.

"Hey boys! Welcome to our home!" Alice said sweetly, following with an extremely large smile. She clearly couldn't contain her excitement. I saw Rosalie roll her eyes at Alice, noticing the same as I had.

"Glad you invited us, Alice. The place is really nice." Jasper said to her, locking his eyes on hers. The guy definitely had more than a thing for Alice.

Emmett was definitely less subtle, as he walked up to Alice and grabbed her into a large hug. She squealed happily as he spun her around. "Yeah Alice, you're the coolest. Now I can get even closer with Rosalie, here." He said as he set her down, winking at Rose.

Rosalie chuckled at Emmett's comment. "Right. Let's not have this dinner start roughly, hmm?"

The boys smiled and nodded their heads in agreement. _Cute._

Emmett suddenly froze, and tilted his head up. "What is that amazing, orgasmic smell?"

I started laughing from where I stood, but stopped when everyone looked at me. "What? It was funny."

Emmett broke the silence with his roaring laughter. "No way! Great cook, and a great sense of humour? I like you more already, Bella." I blushed immediately, causing everyone else to laugh as well.

"It smells really good, whatever it is." Edward said, looking right at me. "Guitar player, and great cook?"

I still hadn't stopped blushing. I'm pretty sure I looked like a ripe tomato at that point too. "Guys, you're too nice. But how about you at least eat some before you start complimenting me? I could be horrible, you know." I smiled at them.

"I don't think that's possible," Edward replied. I turned my gaze towards him, and completely melted. Every time I would look at him, my heart would beat frantically. The way Edward affected me, both mentally and physically, was not normal. Then again, I didn't mind it at all. Although, I had to keep myself together. I didn't want to break, not yet.

"Well, how about some drinks, hmm?" Rosalie said loudly, breaking the obvious tension. _Thank God for that._

She headed over to the kitchen counter, and made up some of her famous Rosalita Margaritas. Then again, it was only Alice that really called them that. I wasn't going to be doing much drinking that night, not after what happened last time. I'd go easy, anyways.

I started putting the finishing touches on the soup, when I noticed Edward coming up beside me.

"So, what's on the menu tonight?" He asked me softly, and my breathing hitched. He may not have been close to me, but it was close enough.

I half-smiled, and replied without looking at him. "Well, hot and sour soup for starters. Chicken stir fry for the main course, and then cheesecake for dessert. Dessert doesn't go with the theme, but it's from the Cheesecake Factory. Definitely worth it."

Edward chuckled, and leaned in to take a whiff of the soup. I could smell his cologne, which was mixed with the smell of his shampoo.

_Are you kidding me? What the hell are you doing? Do something!_

I shuddered when my conscience kicked in. I hadn't felt it for a while now, and wasn't enjoying its triumphant return.

"Smell great Bella. I can't wait to try it." Edward said as he stood back in his prior position, and smiled crookedly at him. I managed to give him a small smile before I blushed. Again. _Stupid._

"You know, I love it when you do that." Edward laughed nervously, as he ran his hand through his beautifully styled hair. "Sorry. That was a little too frontal."

I laughed, and nodded. "A little. It's okay though, we can work on that." His eyes immediately lit up when I mentioned 'we'. Did I do that? Yes. Yes, I did. _Stupid, again._

Thankfully, Emmett's bellowing broke our intense moment. "Bella, is it ready yet? I'm so hungry!"

I laughed, and took out six boles from the cabinet. "Yup, all done. Everyone at the table, please." I set the stove temperature slightly lower to keep the soup warm, and filled up the bowls. Alice and Rosalie came up and took two each, and I followed. After the soup was finished and we all had our light conversations, I went back into the kitchen to start up on the stir fry. I already had all the ingredients set aside, so it was just down to putting it all together. The girls had already put the dishes in the wash. They weren't doing the cooking, so they decided that they'd do all the cleaning. It was only fair, anyways.

I started cutting up the green peppers when I heard Edward call my name the table. I turned my head up to look at his mesmerizing green eyes.

"Want some help?" He asked. I was a bit behind, and there was a lot of cutting to do.

"Um, yeah. Sure." I replied, as he got up from his seat and walked to where I was in the kitchen. I took out the spare cutting board, and gave him a knife as well as some vegetables to cut. We were cutting them silently, and just before the stir fry was finished, Edward broke the silence.

"So, Bella." He began, still looking down at the last bits of vegetables he was cutting. "What's that short for?" I'm sure he was probably kicking himself for what he just said, but I didn't mind. I knew he wanted to know more about me. This was just one small way of asking. I would tell him some things about me, but definitely not everything.

"Isabella. But no one calls me that anymore." I said silently. The last two people were my parents. And I intended on keeping it that way.

"Anymore?" He asked me curiously. As much as I didn't want to tell Edward things that were touchy subjects to me, I couldn't entirely help myself. A small part of me trusted him wholly, but the smarter part of me knew not to trust anyone. I'd tell him all that he needed to know.

"Um, yeah. My parents called me Isabella." I ended up telling him.

"Oh." I was hoping that Edward wouldn't go into more questions about it, and let out a deep breath when he didn't. "So have you lived in New York for a long time?"

"I came down here 4 years ago, for school. I go to NYU."

"Wow, no way. What are you studying?" He seemed to be really interested in me. Didn't really know why though.

"Law." It was the only thing that I was passionate about, and I was glad I picked it when I had applied al those years ago.

"So you're going to end up being some big time lawyer, huh?" He smirked at me.

"Plan on it. Maybe even a big time judge someday." I chuckled. It was my time for questions now. "So, how about you?"

"My brothers and I came down to New York almost a year ago. Chasing the dream stuff, nothing big really." He shrugged.

"Chasing your dream is really huge. What do you plan on doing?" I asked him.

"Well, I want to open up my own restaurant." Edward answered, and I was immediately impressed. "You're not the only good cook around here, Bella."

I laughed, hopefully hiding my surprise. "Well, glad to know I'm not the only one. I really hope your restaurant works out. Just keep your mind focused on it, and it will. Headstrong, you know?" It worked for me, anyways.

The stir fry was just about done, so I grabbed some plates and set them on the counter. This time, the guys came up to grab them.

"Please, let us. It's the least that we could do." Edward said to us, smiling sweetly. The three of us giggled, and I began to disperse the stir fry. When I was finished, I headed to the table and Edward set my plate in front of me.

I looked up at him and suddenly held onto his hand. "Thank you," I said softly enough that he was the only one who could hear me through the chatter from the others.

"You're welcome." He replied, understanding the double meaning that I sent towards him.

After the boys had their seconds and we were all finished, we stood to get everything into the kitchen.

"Ah, I'm so stuffed. Bella, you are freaking amazing." Emmett said as he sat back in his seat, rubbing his belly.

"Well, I hope you're not too stuffed Emmett, because there's still dessert! Cheesecake, anyone?" I asked.

"I take that back!" Emmett hollered, and jumped back out of his chair. "There's always room for cheesecake!"

We all laughed in unison at Emmett, and I smiled at how close our little group had gotten already. This was good, for all of us. And it was definitely helping me get through everything too.

A rough knocking on our door and the sound of our doorbell stopped our laughter.

"Hm, who could that be?" I wondered, and headed to go and open the door. I opened it, and gasped at what I saw.

"Bella! Where have you been?"

* * *

**OH NO! NOT ANOTHER CLIFFIE! Can you guess who it was?**


	9. Chapter 9 Bad News

**A/N: Sorry, I missed the memo. I thought everyone loves cliffies *shrugs*. I'll make note of that next time. Haha!  
Hope you're enjoying everything so far. And please, don't hesitate to give me a shout! I always respond to my reviewers =)  
********Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. This is getting so repetitive... gah.**

Time to find out who's behind door number one!

******

* * *

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**EPOV**

"Bella! Where have you been?"

My attention immediately focused on the voice from the door. There, standing in the hallway, was a man dressed in a full-blown suit holding a briefcase. He was tall, had short blonde hair, and he was pretty good looking for a guy.

"Alec? What are you doing here?" Bella asked him.

I quietly groaned.

_Great. She has a boyfriend._

So much for my luck.

"I emailed you last week, and I've been trying to call you." This so-called Alec explained to her, breathlessly as if he had ran here. "You never got back in touch with me. So I had no choice but to fly down here myself."

_God, this guy sounds like such a creeper._

I had noticed Bella's changing expressions throughout Alec's explanation. First there was surprise, then she was apologetic, and now it was set on concern. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on between them. I just really hoped that my thoughts weren't right, and this creep wasn't Bella's boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, Alec. I haven't been myself lately." She said to him with sad eyes. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"No." Alec frowned and shook his head. He then glanced over to us, then settling back to Bella. "But I'd prefer we talk it over in private?"

With that, Bella nodded and led him past us to the stairs.

I wasn't sure what was going on, but I didn't like it.

**BPOV**

I couldn't even hear my own thoughts over my frenzied heart beats. Alec wouldn't have come all the way to New York from Seattle if it wasn't extremely important.

As I walked to my room leading Alec, I wasn't exactly sure what would happen next. Terrible thoughts were going through my head, and I had to push them out immediately. I needed to keep my mind open to process what Alec was going to tell me.

I walked into my room, and signaled Alec to follow. I closed the door behind him, took a deep breath and then turned to face him.

"Nice place you've got here Bella." He said monotonously, looking around my room.

"Yeah, it's alright." I shrugged. I wasn't enjoying the distraction from what we really had to talk about, but at the same time I was too scared to hear it.

"I need you to sit down Bella." Alec turned to tell me, and I eyed him curiously. "Please?"

I nodded my head, and sat down on my bed. Bracing myself for the worst.

"Bella," he began. "I know that you're going to be upset after I tell you this. But I need you to stay calm, alright?"

I looked down and nodded again. I felt this need to keep myself busy somehow, so I began to fidget with the hem of my dress.

I heard Alec sigh, and felt his hesitation before he told me what would cause me so much pain.

"Bella. Jacob got parole. He's getting out tomorrow."

I froze, completely numb following those few words. I couldn't think. I could barely breathe. I lost all reality around me, and I felt so… alone. I felt so paralyzed, I didn't even realize that I was being shaken. Alec had placed his hand on my shoulder, shaking me to try to wake me up from the daze I was in. I only began to hear him calling me now.

"Bella. Bella! Are you alright Bella? Should I call your friends?" He asked me frantically.

"No." I answered him immediately. I didn't want the girls to know yet, and I didn't want the guys to find something out either. Mostly, I didn't want to ruin their dinner. "No. It's alright."

I was still looking down as I answered him. I didn't have the energy to look up.

"Bella," Alec continued. "I know that this is a bad time, but there's more that you need to know."

I wasn't ready to hear it all yet. I took a few deep breaths before I nodded my head. I was as prepared as I would ever be.

"Jacob managed to get parole somehow. I'm still shocked at that stupid judge's ruling." Alec growled, and only then did I realize how furious he was. "He claims to be sorry for everything that he's done. He's had his license taken away as well. I took it upon myself to process a restraining order for you from him. I just need a signature, if you agree."

I sighed. "Good idea Alec. I'll sign the papers." I began to compose myself to stand, when Alec stopped me.

"There's something else." Alec said to me tenderly. "He wrote you a letter."

My head shot up, and I felt my face growing hotter. It wasn't from blushing this time. This time, it was from rage.

"I know, I know." He grumbled. "Please, forgive me Bella. But as your lawyer, I had to bring it to you."

With that, he reached into his briefcase and took out a small envelope. I didn't take it from him. I just stared at the small piece of paper in his hand that was white, yet it looked so dirty to me.

"You don't have to read it. I just have to give it to you. Judge's rules." He explained to me, which really didn't' make anything better either. "Just know that you're safe from him. He has no idea where you are, and this restraining order will be a backup as well."

All this information was too much for me to handle. It took everything for me not to break down right then and there. I breathed in deeply, and slowly stood up from my bed.

"Thanks Alec." I managed to sputter out. "Sorry I made you come all the way down here."

Alec smiled at me sympathetically. "Anytime Bella. I'll be on my way then. My flight back's in the morning."

Before we made our way out, Alec took out the restraining order papers for me to sign. I had just noticed that he left Jacob's note on my dresser. _Thank God,_ I thought. I didn't even want to touch the thing.

After we'd finished, we made our way back down the stairs. Everyone was seated in the lounge, drinking and conversing. However, they stopped as I came into view. I didn't look at any of them directly, because I was scared of what they'd see. If they could see what I was going through. How extremely difficult it was for me to even take a simple breath right now. Most of all, I couldn't bear to look into Edward's eyes. We made it to the door, and I opened it for Alec.

"Thanks again, Alec." I whispered loudly. I couldn't manage anything louder.

"Anytime Bella." Alec replied, giving me a small smile. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me."

I couldn't manage to give him a smile back, so I just nodded my head. It was beginning to be the only motion I could make my body do. With that, Alec turned and walked down the hallway.

I closed the door and took a deep breath before I would face my fate.

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe she had a boyfriend.

_Idiot, you don't even know that yet._

True. I didn't. I was just jumping to conclusions. I was still hoping that I was wrong.

After Bella had left to go upstairs with Alec, Rosalie went in to the kitchen to make us some more drinks. I guess she wanted to kill the awkwardness that resulted from Alec's unexpected entrance.

Alice led us to the lounge, and we began to talk about our lives. I told them of my dreams, and so did Emmett and Jasper. Alice told us that she wanted to get into fashion, and Rosalie was a model. I had to nudge Emmett so he'd close his mouth after Rosalie told him that.

A short while later, I heard footsteps from upstairs. I glanced up and saw Bella, with Alec trailing behind her. She looked… Well, I couldn't really place an emotion to how she looked. It reminded me of the night we had first met. When she walked out on me. She had looked just the same then too.

_Oh no._

Something was going on. Something bad. Whatever Alec came to tell her wasn't good news at all. I was starting to get pissed at the guy.

She came down the stairs, not looking at any of us. She walked to the door and said bye to Alec. After she closed the door, she just stood there for a few seconds. Like, she was putting herself together. I didn't want her to. I wanted her to be herself, even with what she had going on right now. She wasn't happy, but I wanted to make her happy. I wanted to be the person she would turn to. But even though I wanted all of this, I had to wait. I would give her all the time she needed, but I would always be there for her through the way.

Finally, Bella turned and made her way to the lounge after grabbing a drink from the counter. She grabbed a chair from the kitchen and set it across from me. Our conversations continued, and became a little more lively. Bella said tidbits here and there, but that was it. She would react to jokes and such, but wouldn't give her own. And even though she sat right across from me, she wouldn't look at me. She looked at everyone else, but not me. I didn't know what to think at that moment. I wasn't sure what the reason was behind it, but I wouldn't push to find out just now.

After a few more drinks, Alice spoke up.

"Wow! I didn't realize what time it was! Sorry boys, us ladies do need our beauty sleeps!"

"Come on. The three of you don't need a minute of beauty sleep. You've already got all the beauty in the world." Jasper said sweetly, resulting in awes from Rosalie and Alice.

"You're too sweet Jasper," Rosalie added and smirked. "You should give some pointers to your big brother here."

Rosalie winked at Emmett, and for the first time in my life I saw Emmett blush. Emmett Cullen, blushing. And I wasn't going to let this go ever.

Even though we were joking, the three of us stood up and the girls followed. We brought out glasses to the kitchen where Alice quickly threw them in the dishwasher and turned it on. We said our goodbyes and gave hugs to each of the girls. I hugged Alice, and then Rosalie. Lastly, I turned to Bella, who was fidgeting with her dress and looking off into somewhere in the distance.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" She replied, still not looking at me.

I held her hand and led her to the kitchen. I needed to talk to her somehow, and didn't want an audience.

"I'm sorry." I said. I didn't know what else to say.

Her head slowly went up to look at me, and I saw tears filling up here eyes. I was about to ask her what was wrong, but she put her hand up to stop me. I guess she knew already what I was thinking.

"Don't apologize. None of this is your fault, nothing." She said softly. Her big brown eyes were so beautiful, I completely fell into them. "I have a lot going on right now, and I'm really sorry for giving you all of these mixed feelings."

I opened my mouth to disagree with her, but she put her hand up again.

"I am. I know I am." She continued. "I don't know what's going on between us, and I don't know what will happen either. But I need you to understand that I'm not whole. Edward, I'm broken."

Her voice cracked on that last bit, and my heart broke. There was nothing that would make me think of her like that.

"Bella," I started to say to her delicately. "I can tell that you have a lot going on right now, and I want you to know that I'm here for you. As a friend. Whatever comes of our relationship, know that I will always be your friend. I know that we barely know each other, but I want you to know that you can trust me. And also, that you're not broken. You are the most amazing person I've ever met."

Her tears began to fall, and I lifted my hand to wipe them off of her face. I still couldn't take my eyes away from hers, but I had to compose myself before things would get out of hand. I could barely control myself around her. She was just so… dazzling. Her soothing voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Do you have your phone on you?" She asked me. I nodded, and took my phone out of my pocket. I put it in her hand, and she started pushing buttons. When she was done, she closed it. "Will you call me? In the morning, when you wake up?"

She placed my phone back in my hand, and I put my arms around her. She wrapped hers around my waist, and I leaned into her soft hair. "Of course. I'll call you around 11, okay?" I said into her hair, and she nodded. I held her tightly and then, as much as I didn't want to, I let her go.

"Goodbye Edward."

I gave her a small smile. "Never say goodbye Bella. I'll be seeing you soon."

And with that, I made my way out of her loft, priding in how one small dinner had started a new beginning for Bella and I.

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**Oh no... right? Tell me about it... No, seriously, tell me. ;) **


	10. Chapter 10 All Fall Down

**Get ready for the waterworks... it's not gonna be good.  
Thanks everyone for the love. You're loved even more by me. =)  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. And I look nothing like her.**

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**BPOV**

As the door closed, mine had opened. My sobs filled the loft, and I collapsed to the floor. I covered my face with my hands, shaking my head against my thoughts.

He was getting out. Jacob Black, the poor and worthless excuse for a man who took both of my parents away from me in one night, was getting out of prison. I would never see the beautiful and loving faces of Charlie and Renee Swan because of him. I lost the two most important people in my life and it was in his hands. He was just as responsible as I was, and I was satisfied when he was given life. Even though I would've been even more satisfied if I could've killed him myself. I didn't care at that point. I would go to jail for ending Jacob Black's life just as he had ended Mom and Dad's.

But now? Just as I begin putting myself back together all over again, _this_ happens?

He gets parole? That vile, waste of human life will be walking around public streets in only a few hours?

_How the fuck is this fair in any way?_

I didn't know how long I was sitting there sobbing. And I didn't know when Alice and Rosalie each took a spot at my sides. I couldn't think of anything other than Jacob Black.

Him telling me those horrible things that night. Being pulled towards the car crash. Seeing my father's patrol car in pieces. Jacob sitting in the back of an ambulance.

My mother's face in that black body bag.

My body went limp. My sobs halted. My breathing became slow and heavy.

But I was in excruciating pain.

"Bella? What happened?" I heard someone whisper. I didn't know whether it was Rosalie or Alice. My mind couldn't even process it.

I took a few breaths before I answered the voice.

"He's getting out." I whispered to them. There wasn't much energy left in me, so I used whatever I had for those three short words.

"No." I heard them both whisper in denial, instantly realizing who I was talking about.

"Yes." I whispered back to them and nodded my head. "Jacob Black is being released from prison."

We sat there in silence, and I used it to try and compose myself enough to explain.

"The judge granted him parole. That's what Alec came here to tell me. The asshole even had the nerve to write me a damn apology letter." I scoffed. How dare he even try to apologize? And how the hell do you begin to apologize for doing something so awful?

_Hey Bella. Sorry I hit and killed both of your parents. I love you baby. Forgive me?_

I felt the bile in my throat already.

"Are you serious?" Alice asked me, clearly as shocked as I was. "You didn't read it, did you?"

"Read it? I didn't even touch it." I said to her. "And I don't plan on it either. It'll be sitting on my dresser for a very long time."

"Don't worry Bells," Rosalie growled. "You won't even have to look at it. Alice and I will take care of everything."

I nodded my head, and raised it to look over at the clock.

"It's almost 6," I sighed loudly. "Sorry I kept you guys up. I just couldn't hold myself together anymore." I didn't mention how surprised I was of how long we had been sitting there. It'd been hours since the guys had left.

"Bella, why are you apologizing to us?" Rosalie asked me, clearly annoyed. She put her forefinger under my chin, and turned my face to look at hers. "We should be the ones apologizing. We knew something was wrong when Alec left and we didn't do anything about it."

"Bells, why didn't you tell us?" Alice asked me softly.

I shrugged. "I didn't want to ruin your dinner."

"Bella!" They both yelled in unison.

"Sorry, sorry! I know, I should've said something." I apologized quickly, putting my hands up in defense. "But really, can we go to bed now? I'm exhausted.

Rosalie and Alice sighed, putting aside their frustration and nodded their heads in agreement. They helped me to my feet, and the three of us went to bed to sleep.

Except I didn't get much sleep.

My nightmares came back that night.

**EPOV**

I woke up at around 1130 that morning and kicked myself for having completely forgotten to set my alarm. I had promised Bella that I'd wake her for 11.

_Way to go Edward._

I growled at my stupidity and grabbed my phone from the ground. Browsing through my contact list, I shuddered when I saw the one name that would give me chills every time I would look at it. I didn't even know why I still had it stored on my phone, it was worthless now. I knew what I had to do.

_Delete._

Much better.

I continued browsing until my eyes set on the name I was looking for.

_Bella._

I smiled. My contact list, other than my brothers and parents of course, was sorted by first and last name. It was obvious that Bella had noticed that too. Even knowing that, she only put in her first name. It seemed fitting. More personal. Something so small of an act, but it meant so much to me already. My smile was widening as my thoughts of Bella were running through my mind.

God, the girl could do this to me right when I woke up too.

I dialed her number and waited for her to answer. Three rings later, she did.

"Hello?" Bella answered, groggily.

_Shit, I woke her up._

"Hey Bella. Sorry, did I wake you?" I immediately felt like such an asshole.

"Edward!" She sounded a little surprised, but I smiled again when she recognized my voice. "No, not really I guess. We got to bed late, but I haven't slept much all night."

"Oh. Is everything okay?" I was getting worried about her. Whatever Alec had told her kept her up all night. That guy was seriously pissing me off.

"No, not really." Bella replied, sighing. "But it was just nightmares. I'm just hoping that was the last one."

Nightmares.

They must've been pretty bad if they kept her up all night. I immediately became curious of what they were about. Just then, my mind clicked. I was keeping her up.

"Oh, I'll let you go sleep then Bella. Sorry again." I felt like such an idiot.

"No, Edward don't! Please." Bella said to me quickly. I guessed she thought I was going to hang up on her.

"Are you sure Bella?" I asked her seriously. "You need to sleep."

I heard her take a deep breath before she answered me. "I can't. I'm too scared."

Shit. Whatever these nightmares were about, they were serious.

"Well, is there something that I could do?" I hated not being there beside her, so I had to see if there was anything that I could do for her this way. Even if it was through the phone.

"Could you just, talk to me?" She said softly, and my smile was back. "Unless you're busy, then –"

"Of course not, Bella." I interrupted her quickly. "I'm never busy when it comes to you."

I heard her chuckle silently and sigh into the phone. "You're something else Edward."

"I'm just being honest with you," I laughed back. "Now, what would you like to talk about?"

We talked about our music, and I told her my history of playing. She gasped when she heard about my performance in Italy. She was so surprised at everything I was telling her, and I knew that whatever I would say to her, I'd always have her full attention. She paid close attention to all I would say, and I can't even explain how much I appreciated it. She reminded me so much of my mom, it was unbelievable. I'd never compared anyone to my mother, being the wonderful person that she is. But Bella was the first ever person that could remotely compare to my mother. And that similarity was getting stronger by each day. I really wanted Mom to meet her soon.

Bella continued to tell me about her studies at NYU. How she started late, so she has winters off instead of summers. She didn't really explain why though. When I told her that I was from Seattle, she said that she was from Forks. I was surprised at how close our hometowns were. Except when I told her that we could spend Christmases together when we went back home, she went silent.

"I haven't been to Forks since I started school." She told me after I asked if she was okay.

"Why? Don't you miss your family and friends?" I asked her right after. I didn't even think about it before I had asked. It was just an honest question that came to my mind.

Again, a short silence before she answered me.

"There's no one for me in Forks." And I instantly dropped the subject. I could tell it was still too early for me to talk to her about any of this.

I changed the subject to my brothers. And their obvious admiration for Rosalie and Alice, to which Bella laughed. We both decided on getting together as much as we could as a group, just to watch them. And of course, I didn't mind. That would mean that I could spend more time with her.

We were on the phone for hours, and I could've gone for more. That is, before I heard her yawn.

"Bella, you need to sleep." I told her gently, yet firmly too. She had to get some rest.

"But Edward –" She began to disagree.

"No buts Bella Swan," I said to her, smiling when I mentioned her last name for the first time. "You need to sleep."

"Okay, Edward _Cullen_." She scoffed, playing along and taking use of my last name as well. "I do need to sleep, but I already told you. I just can't."

Bella whispered that last bit, and I knew that she still wasn't comfortable sleeping right now. Even after our lengthy conversation, she still wasn't ready to go back to sleep.

"Can I help?" I asked her. I didn't know what else I could really do, but it wouldn't hurt to ask.

Yet another short silence before I had her answer.

"Edward," she began her request silently. "Do you mind, um, singing me to sleep?"

My cheeks hurt from smiling so much with her, but it wouldn't stop me now. I was smiling even more now, because I knew that she was blushing as she had asked me.

"Of course I will." I agreed, of course. I didn't have a great voice, but I would never turn her down. "What would you like me to sing?"

I got up to pick up my guitar and then sat back down on my bed.

"Anything." Bella said to me softly, barely even whispering.

_God, she's such a turn on._

There go by teenage hormones. The girl was hurting, and look at what I could think about. I couldn't help it though. I could barely control myself when I was around her, and now I realize I'm just the same when I'm on the phone with her.

I grabbed my Bluetooth and switched to use it so that I could keep my hands free to play. I already knew which song to play for her. So I began to strum my guitar.

I was just playing around with my guitar the week before, trying to get my mind off of Bella, when I started playing All Fall Down. It was always one of my favourite songs, but I never really felt the need to play it on my guitar. I usually played songs that I could connect something or someone to. You know, to get a little more passionate about it. I never had a reason for the song, until now.

Bella was my reason.

_Step out the door and it feels like rain  
That's the sound, that's the sound, on your window pane  
Take to the streets but you can't ignore  
That's the sound, that's the sound, you're waiting for_

_If ever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
That's where you'll find me_

I wanted Bella to know that I was always there for her. That I would always be there for her. There weren't enough words for me to say it to her myself, so I hoped that my playing this specific song would send out my message. I wanted her to always come to me when she needed something, because I would always be there. In the short while that I've known her, I've wanted nothing else. Bella was the most beautiful yet intriguing person I'd ever known. There was something about her, something that had happened to her that made her feel empty. Broken, as she had told me the night before. I never wanted her to feel that way, ever. If anything, I was empty before I met her. I wanted nothing but to make Bella feel whole again.

_Yeah, God love your soul and your aching bones  
Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below  
Everyone's the same, our fingers to our toes  
We just can't get it right, but we're on the road_

_If ever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
That's when you'll find me._

_Lost til you're found,  
Swim til you drown.  
Know that we all fall down.  
Love til you hate,  
Strong til you break.  
Know that we all fall down._

Bella was the same as any other person, even if she didn't think so. She was a human being. She made the same mistakes, the same choices, and the same promises as anyone else. If something terrible had happened to her in the past, there would be a way for it to be fixed. She would lead her own way, and she would find her cure. I wanted nothing more but to be there by her side as she went on her journey. There was nothing that could take me away from her. Nothing. I've already seen more than many others have, but that wasn't going to stop me. I promised her to be for her through everything, and I would never go back on it. Bella began a new beginning for me.

_If ever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
That's when you'll find, find me._

She was lost. She felt like she didn't deserve anything good for herself. But she was wrong. Bella deserved much more than what she gave herself now. Everyone has a moment in their lives where they're overwhelmed by all that's going on. All you need is a little help, and I was willing to be the one that she could lean on. She could depend on me. And I'd always be there to catch her when she falls.

_Lost til you're found,  
Swim til you drown.  
Know that we all fall down.  
Love til you hate,  
Strong til you break.  
Know that we all fall down._

_All fall down, we all fall down, all fall down.  
We all fall down, all fall down, all fall down._

I could feel her breathing get heavier. A sign of my singing helping her get to sleep. I continued playing, but softly so I wouldn't wake her.

_Lost til you're found,  
Swim til you drown.  
Know that we all fall down.  
Love til you hate,  
Strong til you break.  
Know that we all fall down._

I switched back to my phone, and listened to her soft breathing. She sounded peaceful, and it assured me that she wouldn't have her nightmares when she slept now.

But I had to make sure that they'd be gone forever._  
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**Yes, I'll have that Edward as well. Did you catch some cryptic-ness in his POV as well? Uh ohhhh**


	11. Chapter 11 Realizations

***sigh* Serenading Edward... how perfect.  
Seriously, if a guy sang OneRepublic to me, I'd swoon all over the place. On that note, all of the songs and outfits used in the story are on my profile page. Check them out!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. I am not Stephenie Meyer.**

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**EPOV**

After I hung up my phone, I made my way to the washroom for my morning routine. It was 2 pm now, and I was working tonight. Friday nights were one of the busiest nights at Midnight Sun. Then again, recently every night has been a full house. I just had a feeling that this one would drag longer than usual, considering the level that mine and Bella's relationship was at now.

I was glad that she had let me in, even slightly. The fact was, I just wanted more from her even though she wasn't ready. Even though I knew it wasn't right to think like this, a part of me wanted to know everything now. To find out for myself. I mean, I'd wait forever for her. I've just never been the one that's had to wait, you know? It'd take some adjusting, but I knew that Bella was worth it.

As I was showering, I went back to small things that we had talked about this morning.

Her passion for playing guitar. She said that she hadn't played in years, but she plays now. She never really gave me a reason for stopping…

She didn't bring up Alec, and I was kind of glad about it. Then again, I really wanted to know more about their relationship. Were they friends? Were they together? I shook my head against that thought. I'd let her explain it to me when she felt like it.

But then was the part of our conversation that got to me the most.

_There's no one for me in Forks._

I finished out of the shower and made my way to my bedroom. I wasn't sure what she exactly meant by there not being anyone. I mean, did she have a family but didn't associate herself with them? Or did she really have no one? Bella said she hadn't been back since she started school, so it was just over four years ago. I assumed that something must've happened just before she came down to New York. I didn't want to meddle, but I did want to figure things out. Of course, if I did find anything out, I wouldn't do anything or judge anyone until Bella explained it all to me herself.

As I made my way to my bedroom, I heard my brothers playing video games in the lounge. I needed some advice about what exactly to do in this situation, and I knew I could depend on my brothers.

But wait. There was someone else that I could talk to first.

Esme was an amazing mother, and she was also a very intelligent woman. I mean, if anyone could help me out with my problems, it was her. I knew I could always turn to her if I needed absolutely anything. I decided that I'd give her a call first, and then talk to my brothers later.

I picked up my phone and selected _Home._ It was my home, of course. We didn't have a house phone here in New York, so I didn't need to have two home numbers.

After two rings, I heard a voice.

"Hello Edward," my mother greeted me sweetly, and I smiled. "You know, I'm not very happy with how long it's been since you've called last."

"Mom, I called you two days ago." I laughed at my mother's worrying. We were grown men, yet she still considered us her babies. I didn't mind too much.

"Yes, and two days too long!" Mom exclaimed. "Your father thinks I'm going insane over here, worrying about you boys so much."

"Mom, you're great. But you really don't have to worry about us so much. We're doing fine here." I explained to her, hopefully relieving some of her concern.

"I know you are," She sighed. "But it's not home."

I exhaled and hummed. Mom was right. We could be anywhere in the world, but it would be nothing like home in Seattle. I suddenly felt extremely homesick. Leave it to Esme Cullen.

"I'm sorry baby," my mother apologized, immediately realizing my change in attitude. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Don't apologize Mom," I said to her. "You're right, New York is nothing like home. But we're slowly adjusting. You and Dad should come down soon though."

"We'd love to," She answered, and I could hear the excitement in her voice. "Soon baby, we will. So, tell me what's going on."

I squinted at my mother's intuitiveness. It was weird how she could do that, even being miles away.

I sighed loudly. "Mom, there's so much going on. I don't even know how to handle it."

"Just start from the beginning, Edward. Take your time." She replied.

I began to tell her about the first night we all had met. About the first time I laid my eyes on Bella. And about how infatuated her sons were over Rosalie and Alice. My mom laughed at that, and was already excited to meet the girls.

I then explained to her more about Bella. Her breakdown that first night. Seeing a change in her when I saw her at the music store, and at dinner. Up to Alec's entrance, of course. I told her about what I told her before I left her house and saw her crying. Lastly, I told her about our phone call in the morning. And the fact that she hasn't been home since she started school.

Once I was finished, I waited on my mother to hopefully give me some words of wisdom.

"Okay Edward," Mom sighed. "Clearly there is a lot going on with Bella, and she's suffered a terrible loss. It's done a lot to her, and from what I understand, she hasn't gotten help for it. Her having a breakdown means that whatever she went through needed some sort of psychological counseling, which she has yet to do. That's why she's been breaking down.

Now, this Alec must've told her something that set something off again. I don't think she could really look at you because she was worried about what you would think about her. Yes, you two have known each other for a short period of time, but you have this connection. It reminds me of how your father and I were when we were younger.

But baby, you need to know this. I can tell that you are very taken with this young girl, and I am nothing more than happy for you. The thing is, if you are going to commit yourself to her, you need to take steps on making her feel better. On her getting over whatever had happened in the past. Bella sounds like a very beautiful soul. She's just lost."

My eyes widened as my mother gave me her explanation. It made so much sense now, and I was glad that I made the choice to call her first.

"That all sounds right, Mom." I said to her as she finished. "So, what do you think? I mean, I thought about doing some researching of my own –"

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you are not to interfere and get into this young girl's business." My mother said to me firmly.

"But Mom –" I began.

"No Edward," she interrupted me, and began to raise her voice slightly. "Bella is in pain, and you will not do anything to speed up her healing. It'll only harm her in the end. You will wait until she tells you what she wants to. And you will not pry until she does. Have I made myself clear?"

_Damn. Even miles away, the woman can put me in my place._

"Yes." I said softly, clearly beaten.

"I understand that you are trying to help, Edward." My mother sighed and explained to me back in her normal tone. "And I know that you are very curious, as I am. But from what you've told me, it's clear that something very, very horrible has happened to her. She may not appreciate the fact that you went and tried to figure things out on your own, before waiting on her."

I ran my free hand through my hair, trying to ease some of my frustration. My mother was right. It was wrong for me to want to go behind Bella's back and find out everything on my own. It wouldn't be fair to her, and I wouldn't be helping her at all.

"You're right, Mom." I said. "I just can't help it. I've never felt this way about anyone like I have with Bella."

"Yes baby, I can tell." My mother agreed. "Just take things slow. Bella will come to you when she feels comfortable to. And if she's worth it, you can wait."

"Oh, Mom. She is so worth it." I admitted to my mother and chuckled. "Thanks Mom. I really don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well the Cullen boys would be nothing without Esme Cullen," Mom laughed. "Enjoy your day dear. Love you."

"Love you too, Mom. Say hi to Dad for me."

I hung up my phone and made my way to the lounge.

I was planning on relaxing until we got ready for work, but fate had other plans for me.

**BPOV**

"Bella? Bella, wake up." I heard someone whisper in my ear.

"Hmm?" I hummed. I was enjoying my sleep way too much to wake up now. I just had a dream. I couldn't remember what it was about, but I didn't care. I dreamt a real dream, and not a nightmare.

"Bells, it's 5 o'clock." The voice came back, and I felt pressure running up and down my back. It was soothing. "Don't you at least want to eat a bit?"

Before I could deny and go back to my dream, my stomach betrayed me. I heard a soft laughter erupt.

"I'll take that as a yes. Come on, let's get you washed up."

I took in a deep breath and rolled over. Alice was sitting on the edge of my bed, smiling at me. I rubbed my eyes and managed to smile back at her before I got up to go to the bathroom.

I showered and brushed quickly before I went back to my bedroom and changed into clean pajamas. I didn't have plans for tonight, so I just wanted to be comfortable. I turned around to make my way downstairs and was startled when Rosalie was right behind me.

"God, Rose. Could you at least make any noise before you sneak up on me like that? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were immortal or something." I half-smiled and cocked my eyebrow at her.

"Uh, excuse me?" Rosalie huffed and crossed her arms. "I may not be immortal, but I sure look like one. Have you not seen this exterior?"

I laughed and nodded my head. I grabbed her hand and led her to the kitchen where Alice was. My morning phone call with Edward had to be shared with them. We sat down in our chairs before I began.

"Edward called me this morning," I blurted out, and received squeals and awes in return. I could tell they wouldn't stop anytime soon, so I took it as my cue to continue.

"I hadn't slept all night. Nightmares again. Anyways, we talked about everything for a few hours. And then he sang me to sleep." Again, squeals and awes. Except this time, they were louder. Alice was even standing on her chair and jumping up and down. Thank God the girl was so small, or else she would've broken it to pieces.

I laughed and began to bite down on some toast. I figured we might've had some leftovers from last night, but apparently you don't when you invite Emmett Cullen over for dinner. We started to talk about dinner last night when I heard my ringer from the lounge.

"Oh. Bells, you've been getting calls all morning." Rosalie said to me. "I came in to check on you before, and saw your phone under your ear. I guess you had just fallen asleep after you were talking to Edward. Anyways, I was going to move it to your dresser and it rang. I just took it out of your room, so it wouldn't wake you. But it's been ringing non-stop since."

My heart dropped, and I knew exactly who it was. I walked over to the lounge and checked the ID, not surprised that I was right.

_Alec._

I sighed, and answered my phone.

"Hey Alec."

"Bella!" Alec said breathlessly. "I've been calling you all morning. Can you really just keep your phone on you please?"

"Sorry. I had a late night, you know." I snapped back at him. I didn't mean to be rude, but he should know that.

"Yes, I know. I apologize." Alec replied. "I just wanted to let you know that Jacob Black was let out at 10 this morning. And to reassure you that he doesn't know where you are. No one in Forks has any details about your whereabouts other than me and some of the officers your father worked with. And they won't say a word. Same goes for me."

"Thank you Alec," I said softly. I was furious that Jacob was given parole, but satisfied knowing that he wouldn't be able to contact me whatsoever. "I appreciate the call."

"Anytime Bella. Again, call me if you need anything."

"I will Alec." I told him. "Thanks again."

I hung up my phone and went back into the kitchen to the girls.

_What a buzz kill._

I sighed, propping my elbow on the table and leaning my head into my hand. Knowing that Jacob Black was walking around the streets of Forks a free man was not helping me right now.

"Bella?" Alice said to me softly, and I looked up to see that she was back sitting in her seat. By the look on her face, I could tell she was curious about what Alec had called about now.

"Alec was just calling me to let me know that Jacob's out now." I explained to her and Rosalie. "But he has no idea where I am, and will never know either. That's pretty much it."

"The asshole's lucky he's not here," Rosalie snarled, wringing her hands together. "The things I would do to him. He'd want death before I'd even be done with him."

Rosalie was definitely on my level, but it wasn't healthy to be thinking like that now. I gave her a small smile and shook my head.

"I know, but let's not think about that Rose." I began to tell her, but was interrupted by a ringer go off. It was Rosalie's phone. She looked at her caller ID and gasped.

"Who in the hell gave Emmett my phone number?" She exclaimed, and I saw a hint of a smile before she hid it away quickly.

"Oh, Rosalie." Alice chimed. "No one did. When you were making your drinks, he took it as an opportunity to go through your phone. Not only did he find out your number, but he also programmed his into it too."

That lightened my mood, and I began to laugh. Emmett was definitely becoming one of my favourite people. That also reminded me of another one of my favourites.

"Oh, I should probably call Edward. Thank him for this morning, you know?" I said to them before I got up from my chair. I grabbed my last piece of toast and ate it on the way to my bedroom. I sat on my bed, but not before I took my guitar first. I began to strum lightly, and it eased some of my tension. After a few moments, I found Edwards number in my recently received list and dialed it. Still needing my guitar, I just set it between my ear and shoulder. It was a little awkward, but it had to do.

"Good morning, beautiful." Edward's soothing voice answered, and I began to smile.

"Hey there." I smiled. "Just wanted to call and say thanks for this morning."

"Anytime. Did it help?" He asked me, and I could tell he was being serious now. I didn't like getting him worried like that.

"Actually, it did. I had a real dream for the first time in God knows how long." I admitted to him. I normally wasn't so open with anyone, but I felt like I could trust Edward. I hadn't felt this way about anyone before.

"So, if it did, why does it not sound like it?" Edward asked me softly, and I stopped strumming. I wasn't exactly sure how to answer him. He could tell that I still had something on my mind, of course. I continued to strum through the short silence.

"Are you playing your guitar?" He asked me, breaking the silence first.

"Yeah, it's helping me right now." I said quietly in hopes that my voice wouldn't crack. Just as last night, I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I didn't know why this happened to me. Just being reminded of anything of my past around Edward made me break down. Being around him affected me like this. I couldn't hold anything from him.

"Bella." He whispered, and my tears began to slowly fall. I tried to compose myself enough to talk to him without sobbing.

"Edward, it's just so hard to explain." I admitted honestly. I didn't even know where to start. And if I were to tell him anything, I couldn't do it on the phone. It wasn't right.

"Bella, just tell me what you can. You can tell me anything." He said to me gently, and I settled myself enough to strum single strings.

"I was told some pretty bad news last night." I sighed and began to explain.

"Alec?" He asked.

"Yes, Alec. He's um, a family friend." I continued, and immediately regretted it. I would slowly open myself to Edward, but I wouldn't half-ass it. He deserved the truth. "Well, more like my family lawyer."

"Oh." Edward replied. "And he came down last night to talk to you?"

"Yeah," I answered him. "There's some stuff going on, and it's pretty serious. He couldn't get a hold of me, so he flew down from Seattle."

"Ah, I see." Edward breathed, and I was glad that he was letting me tell him what I could without pushing to know any more. He was so considerate of how I felt. If only I could tell him exactly how I felt. But I couldn't. Not yet, anyways. "And how are you feeling now?"

"I don't really know." I told him softly, and wiped my tears away. "I'm kind of in denial, but I'm trying to deal with it, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Luckily you have Rosalie and Alice to help you out."

"I do." I agreed softly, and then blushed. "But I have you too."

"You'll always have me Bella." Edward answered me delicately, and I smiled. "Always."

I was so glad that I had Edward in my life. He was doing something to me that no one else could. The way he could make me feel was unexplainable. And the things he would do for me were what no one else ever would. He stayed on the phone with me for hours. He sang me to sleep. He'd listen to me when I was in pain, and assure me he'd always be there for me.

Edward was beginning to remind me of my parents, and the tears began to fall again.

"Bella, why are you crying?" Edward asked me as I tried to stifle my sobs.

"Edward," I began, though my sobs were muffling my response. "The way you are. The way you talk to me. You just, remind me of my parents so much."

"Bella, it's okay. Shh, don't cry." Edward said, trying to comfort me. "I'm really honoured that you would compare me with your parents, but I don't understand why you're crying. Do you miss them?"

My sobs became louder, and I heard heels clicking up the stairs. Rosalie and Alice must've heard me.

"So, so much Edward. I miss them so much. When I wake up, I miss them. Every breath I take, I miss them. Before I go to sleep, I think of them. I love them and miss them so much, and it's killing me. " I bawled, not holding back.

"Bella, it's okay. Please, stop crying." Edward begged, and I felt bad for putting him in that sort of situation. "Would you like me to come over?"

I thought about his offer. If I denied, we would go back to the same way we were before. I would slowly let him in on everything, and then deal with it.

If he came over, I would no doubt tell him everything. It took me much longer to tell the girls, but this was different. The way I felt about Edward was unreal. My feelings for him were so strong, and I knew he felt the same way. But if I told him everything now, I would risk losing him. I mean, how could anyone love someone like me? I hated going back and thinking like this, but it was true.

But what if it wasn't true. What if Edward did want to be with me? To help me find my soul again? From where everything stood now, it only seemed as though Edward Cullen could be the one to make me whole again. To give me life again.

I thought about it again, and decided.

I knew what I would do.

"Edward." I sighed.

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**Shit... another cliffie, right? AHHH I'M SO TERRIBLE!  
On a side note.... what do you think she said? **


	12. Chapter 12 Fight Club

**Outfits are up on the profile, as usual.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. Me no Stephenie Meyer.  
Now for Bella's answer... ready... set... GOOOOOO!**

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**BPOV**

I took in another deep breath before I gave Edward my decision.

"No, it's okay." I told him. "Just talking to you right now is fine. I'm sorry. It's just… I'm not really emotionally stable right now. There's so much going on that I didn't expect, so it's taking me some time to adjust, you know?"

I hated myself for not giving him the full truth. Yes, I was not emotionally stable, especially when there's so much about him that makes me fall apart. But then, I was lying when I told him that just talking was fine. I wanted him there. I _needed_ him there. But I couldn't, not right now. There was too much at stake, and I couldn't risk losing him already.

"Okay, Bella." Edward replied, and I could hear sadness in his voice. "And stop apologizing, please. You have nothing to apologize for. Is there anything I could do for you though?"

_Yes. You could come here and do the dirty with me._

Whoa. Old Bella and my conscience were tag teaming on me. Not good.

"Not this way," I sighed. I really wanted to see him, but I just couldn't. "But it's alright. Thanks Edward."

"You're more than welcome Bella. I just wish I could help you more." More sadness, and my heart pained. He was giving me so much, and I was pushing him away. I was so angry at myself for doing this to him.

"So do I, Edward." I admitted to him. _You have no idea how much I do._

There was a silence between us, and I listened to his steady breathing. He was so perfect, and I didn't deserve him.

"Bella," Edward spoke up, breaking the silence. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Um, nothing actually." I answered him. I didn't have plans for tonight, and I didn't know what Rosalie and Alice were doing either. Just then, the girls both walked in my door and I waved them over to sit on my bed until I was off the phone.

"Well, if you're feeling better, would you like to come to Midnight Sun tonight? The three of us are working, and we'd really love to see you. Rosalie and Alice too, of course." He asked me.

I thought it over. It would be good to go out again and take my mind off of all the Jacob nonsense. And it would be great to see the guys again. I just had to make sure I was in control of my drinking this time.

"That sounds like a good idea, but let me just double check with the girls." I replied, and looked over to Rosalie and Alice. "Midnight Sun tonight? Edward's inviting us."

The two of them looked me over curiously and nodded their heads. I wondered why, but then realized how I must've looked. They had heard me sobbing, and I'm sure my face wasn't in the greatest condition right now either. I'd talk to them about it later.

"Okay, we're down." I told him and smiled.

"Perfect." Edward answered me and chuckled. "Well, I have to let you go though. We're leaving in a bit."

"Okay," I sighed and pouted. "See you tonight Edward."

"I'll be counting the minutes."

I laughed, and the two of us said our goodbyes. I had completely forgotten that Rosalie and Alice were beside me, and as I shut off my phone I was greeted with silence. I waited for one of them to speak up, but luck wasn't on my side. I would be the one talking first.

"He was just being really sweet," I admitted. "The things he was saying. The way he was acting. It just reminded me of my parents, that's all. I was just taken aback by it, you know?"

"Bella," Alice stood from my bed to kneel in front of me, putting her hands on mine. "Anyone would've felt the same way if they were in your place. Edward is definitely a one of a kind guy."

I smiled, and nodded my head in agreement.

"I have a problem too." Rosalie huffed. "What the hell am I supposed to wear tonight?"

My eyes widened at Rosalie. I had nothing to wear either!

"Ladies, ladies." Alice chimed and stood from her earlier spot. "Have I ever let you down? Please, follow me."

And with that, we all stood and made our way to her room.

Signing our fashion lives for the night over to the one and only, Alice Hale.

**EPOV**

I hung up with Bella, and announced the good news to my brothers. Of course, they were as excited as I was.

"Man, I can't wait to see what Rose wears tonight." Emmett mumbled. "I probably won't even be able to stand on my own two feet."

Okay, so maybe not excited for the same reasons, but still. I had another reason now, though. I couldn't wait to see how Emmett was going to make the night because Rosalie definitely had him. And bad.

_Uh, you're fucked too buddy._

Shit, I was. If I thought Bella was hot in plain jeans and a t-shirt, what the hell was I supposed to do tonight? My stomach turned, and I knew I was in for the same fate as Emmett. Looking over at Jasper, I realized he was too.

I headed back to my room, looking to find something to pass the time with. It was just past 6, so I had a good two hours before I actually had to get ready. I stopped before I reached my bedroom and changed my course. I knew what I could do. I made my way to the other room in our condo.

The piano room.

It was by far my favourite room in the whole condo, and I was stoked when my parents surprised me by having it fixed up for me. They knew I needed my piano. I turned to it when I was happy, sad, pissed, whatever. It was just something I could always turn to and spill my thoughts into beautiful music.

I opened the door and walked into the room.

It wasn't extravagant, but it was perfect nonetheless. There were windows everywhere, looking out into an amazing view of the city. It was painted a simple, soft white and had only a few actual lights around the room as well as a couple of Persians. Finally, my piano sat in the corner of my room.

I was blessed for having such an amazing talent, and even more for having such supporting parents. I always knew that I had them or my brothers to turn to if I needed, but my piano gave me something else. If I couldn't put my feelings into words, I would put them into notes. Into music. Into magic.

And that's how I felt right now. I didn't know who else to talk to, and my feelings were all over the place. So, this is where I had to be.

I sat down and began to play. The music was flowing through my fingertips, coming from my heart rather than my head. I didn't stop to write anything down. I could care less if I forgot what I even played. I just had to do this. I had to play. Various thoughts were running through my mind.

Living in New York City with my brothers.

Pushing for my dream restaurant.

Laying my eyes on Bella for the first time.

Dinner with the girls.

Bella's smile.

Her tears.

The sound of her sobs.

The blissful music had ended, and had transitioned into a poignant piece. I wouldn't stop, as much as it pained me.

Her beautiful, brown eyes. So empty.

Saying she was broken.

Her touch on my hand, sending jolts through my body.

It was as if I was playing a never ending song, which was what I wished my life with Bella would be. She gave me such a strong inspiration to play, and more to live. I always wondered how my father felt when he had first fell in love with my mother. Now I knew. I could care less what people thought. I could care less about how long I knew Bella, or about how she was right now.

I, Edward Cullen, was falling in love with Bella Swan.

_I was in love._

The poignant playing was over, and went to being just… peaceful. I stopped thinking about everything and just went back to playing. That was, until a loud knocking interrupted me.

"Edward, the hell are you doing?" Emmett asked, leaning on the door frame. "We're gonna be late."

I never put a clock in the piano room, because I didn't want it to influence how long I would play. Sometimes, it was a bad thing.

"Sorry man, had a lot on my mind." I admitted and made my way to get ready.

Midnight Sun was already lined up tonight, so I made sure to ask the guys at the door for a favour to let the girls in before I started working. I didn't want them to have to wait in that long line.

Emmett, Jasper and I relieved the other bartender and started up on the drink orders. It was only 10, but the orders had piled up already. We were only working for almost an hour before I saw Rosalie walk in.

Yup, Emmett was definitely screwed. The was wearing a short, cream sleeveless dress with black stripes. And she filled it well. I glanced over at Emmett quickly, and had to stifle my laugh. I don't think his eyes could've went any wider. And if he gripped onto the table any harder, he'd probably break it.

Alice was behind Rosalie, and she looked adorable. Seriously, the girl was fit to be the little sister I never had. She looked like a little doll in her short, purple baby doll dress. She looked over at me and smiled, so I waved at her. And that's when I saw Bella.

I forgot how to breathe.

I suddenly felt really bad for Emmett.

She was wearing a navy blue, short fitting dress. It showed off her every curve, and I was getting way too excited. Except in more than one way.

Stunning. She looked like a goddess.

Alice tapped on Bella's shoulder and pointed my way, in which she looked over and smiled small at me.

_Control, Edward. Hold onto something at least._

I made it look like I leaned onto the bar counter and smiled back at her. And that's when she blushed. Seriously, was she _trying_ to kill me? I had to compose myself, and my little friend, quickly when they started to walk over.

"Well hello beautifuls!" Jasper called and whistled at the girls, resulting in their giggles. "Do you hate us or something?"

"Hate you?" Alice gasped, coming around the counter and latching onto Jasper's arm. "Now, why would we do that?" She batted her eyes at him, and it was then that I knew. The Cullen brothers, all three, were completely beaten when it came to these three girls.

Jasper blinked a few times before clearing his throat. "You must hate us if you come in here dressed like that. Do you even realize how hot you ladies look?"

"Uh, yeah." Rosalie added, and we all laughed before she turned over to look at Emmett. "Hey Emmett, you like?"

She walked into his view and did a small turn for him. Emmett's eyed glassed over, and they ran over Rosalie's body up and down. All the while with his mouth hanging out, and just nodding. He probably forgot how to even count. It only made him worse when Rosalie walked over and whispered something into his ear. I still wonder how he managed standing right now. I wasn't doing too well just by looking at Bella.

"Bella, you look stunning tonight. And that's even an understatement." I said to her, smiling. And again, another blush.

"Thanks Edward." She chuckled. "But it was all Alice. That little body has a huge spirit. And love for fashion."

I walked around the counter and leaned into her ear.

"I'll make sure to thank her every moment I can if I get to see you looking like this." I whispered but loud enough so that she could hear over the music. "Then again, I can't take my eyes off you no matter what you're wearing."

Bella laughed and set her hands on my chest. I felt that small jolt again as her fingers touched my skin, and I looked into her eyes to see that she felt it too. Her laugh faded, and she locked her eyes with mine. I lifted my hand up and gently stroked her cheek with the outside of my fingers. She was so soft, so warm. I wanted to have this feeling of her forever.

"Edward! More orders!" I heard Lauren's annoying, shrill voice behind me. "Come on, let's move it!"

I groaned and looked over at Lauren, giving her the worst sneer I could manage. Too bad she had already looked away. I felt Bella's hand rubbing my arm up and down softly. I was surprised at the movement, and looked back down at her.

"You go work, we'll talk later." Bella smiled. "Will you come up when you have time?"

"Maybe, but that calls for a compromise."

**BPOV**

I gulped, and my smile faded. I wasn't exactly ready for a compromise. I just couldn't handle it right now. Edward saw my sudden change in mood and his smile faded.

"What?" He asked me worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I answered him, shaking my head. "It's a long story."

Edward continued to stare into my eyes, and I felt bad for ruining the moment.

"So how about this?" I spoke up, and I saw the small hint of sadness begin to disappear from his striking green eyes. "You come up, if I come down?"

Edward smiled, and I was glad that it made him feel better. "Deal, except I get a dance too."

I smiled back at him. "Deal."

I made my way to join Rosalie and Alice before we headed over to our table. We picked the same table as we had last time, considering it had the best view of the boys. And apparently we could 'eye fuck' from our spot, according to Rosalie.

Unfortunately for us this time, Emmett couldn't make personal deliveries. And we were stuck with that skanky waitress that we had last time. I was already pissed at her for purposely calling out Edward when we were having a moment.

She avoided us for almost an hour, but we didn't mind too much. The three of us enjoyed glancing over at the boys to catch their attention once in a while, and making fun of the waitress before she made her way over.

"Hey ladies!" She called to us in her fake, annoying voice. "Is it your first time here at Midnight Sun?"

The three of us laughed, and shook our heads.

"No, we're not." Rosalie spoke, putting the waitress in her place. "If you don't remember, we were the ones that embarrassed you in front of all these people. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised that you'd forget. That with your small brain of course. If only you used your money for some education, instead of a shitty boob job."

Her face went red as Rosalie finished, and I thought she was going to pop a blood vessel. I saw her clench and unclench her hand that was not holding her paper, and her jaw tighten. If she had even the smallest bit of intelligence, she wouldn't start anything with Rosalie. Unfortunately for her, she didn't even have that.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She hollered, pointing at Rosalie with her free hand. "Do you even know who you're talking to?"

I could tell Rosalie was furious just by looking at her eyes. She kept herself composed, as she always did, but the waitress was pushing it.

"Put your finger down and stop pointing at me, before I fucking break it." She stated calmly.

"Oh really? You, break it?" The waitress laughed, mocking her. "Are you sure you wouldn't break a fingernail, princess? Fuck you."

She was starting to really get on my nerves, so I couldn't hold anything in anymore.

"You need to relax, before you end up losing a limb tonight." I told her roughly.

"From who? The three of you? I'm not fucking scared of you dumb bitches, and I'm not taking any of your bullshit when you come here. And I don't give a fuck if you're fucking those three down there." She yelled at us, and I felt myself grow hotter. She was going way too far. Her fit was gathering the attention of the tables around us, but I could care less.

"No one's fucking anyone, bitch." Alice spat.

"Well, I know you bitches aren't." The waitress screeched. "Because I got to them first, of course. How do you feel having my sloppy seconds?"

"I wouldn't know. Then again, maybe I should ask half of New York how disgusted they felt after being even close to you." Rosalie sneered and stood from her seat, clearly not dealing with her anymore.

"Yeah, and what kind of bag they used to cover your face while they did it." Alice added and laughed.

"I honestly feel bad for you. You actually think that we give a shit about you, but we really don't. You're nothing." I finished and shook my head. She had even more issues than I did.

The waitress's face turned different colours of red, and she slammed her notepad to the ground.

"You feel bad for me? I'm _nothing?_" She shrieked, looking straight at me. "I'm going to fucking kill you!"

She screamed, and launched herself at me.

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***shakes head* I seriously need to stop with these cliffies.  
Okay, no, really, I have a twenty on Bella. Who's with me?**


	13. Chapter 13 Give Ins

**Let's start an I Hate Lauren fan club, no? Cause I'd love to rip her apart... just sayin. =)  
Hope you guys are all liking the story so far!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. Me? Nothing...**

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**BPOV**

I braced myself for an impact, but wasn't given one.

I figured our argument with the skanky waitress gathered Emmett's attention, because there he was behind her. He had both of her arms behind her back and was pulling her away from us.

"Lauren, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Emmett yelled at her when he got far enough from us to let her go.

"What's wrong with me? _Me?_" Laurenscreamed and started laughing frantically. "It's them! These three disgusting bitches! Now get out of my way so I can finish them."

"Yeah, move Emmett. So we can rip this girl apart." Rosalie hissed. Alice and I scowled, nodding in agreement. That tramp would get exactly what she deserved.

"No, there's no need for that." I heard Edward's voice and turned to see him appear from behind Emmett, followed by Jasper. "Lauren, move."

He snarled at Lauren and her eyes widened with surprise. I won't lie, I was a little surprised too. I'd never seen Edward so angry.

"But Eddie –" Lauren began to whine, and I saw Edward's face slightly turn pink.

"Lauren, can you just fucking go already? Or we won't be so nice and instead let our girls make you." Jasper hissed and walked over to Alice's side. She instantly relaxed when he put his arm around her.

Laurenknew she was beaten, as she looked over for a last dirty look before she stomped off. I took in a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, but it was nothing compared to feeling Edward's touch. He put his arms around me and I felt my tenseness immediately wash away.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked me and I could see the worry filling his eyes. "We got up here as fast as we could when we heard there was something going. I had no idea it concerned the three of you, or else we could've came faster."

I couldn't resist putting my hand on his cheek. He was always so worried about me, and he took such good care of me already. I didn't deserve Edward, not at all. But I would appreciate all he did for me now, because I don't know where I would be or what I would do without him.

"I'm fine. We all are." I told him reassuringly, and stroked his cheek with the outsides of my fingers. "Your waitress, on the other hand, I'm not sure about. She started getting lippy with Rosalie."

"Whoa, bad idea." Edward chuckled, and hummed in delight of my touch on him. "I never knew you were a scrapper, Bella."

"Neither did I." I laughed and rested my hand on his shoulder. "But really, she said some horrible things. We couldn't just sit there and take it from her."

Edward nodded and tightened his hold around me. "Yeah, I understand. She's probably in the office getting fired now anyways."

I looked over at the girls to see how they were doing, and smiled when I saw them in the same position I was. Jasper was sitting where Alice had been, but she was sitting on his lap. He had his arms around her, and I could tell that she was in pure joy just talking to him. Emmett was sitting beside Rosalie and it was as if they were in their own world. She had her legs draped over his, and it was obvious that he was enjoying softly caressing her thigh. I was really happy for Rosalie because she was finally letting him in. Emmett looked just as happy as I was.

I looked back at Edward and smiled widely. Even though I knew I wasn't deserving, I felt at peace when I was with him. Just being in his arms made me feel so amazing. Edward made me feel whole again. I put my hand back on his cheek, and he turned his face into it slightly before looking back at me.

"What are you thinking?" He asked me, smiling.

"A lot." I smiled and felt his hands run up and down my back. "But mostly, about you."

"Really?" Edward's smile turned into my favourite crooked grin and he cocked his eyebrow. "Anything dirty?"

"No!" I answered a bit too quickly and knew I was blushing. "Nothing like that."

"No fair." He pouted and I giggled at him. "Okay, in all honesty, what's really going through your mind? You're so hard to read."

"Edward, I don't really know how to say this. And I don't want to sound weird or anything. So if I do, just ignore me and –"

"Bella, can you please stop being so silly and just tell me?" Edward interrupted and rolled his eyes at me. He was right, of course. I was being too self-conscious.

"Edward, I like you. A lot. That's a huge understatement, but really. The things you do for me just make me so happy. Just being right here in your arms makes me feel… unbroken. Like you're putting me back together. Piece by piece. And I have no idea how you are, but I'm so grateful. You're so perfect Edward, but I don't deserve you. And even though you make me so complete, I can't put you through everything I'm going through. It's not fair. I don't know, I just wanted to tell you that before you make the biggest mistake of your life."

I sighed and looked away from Edward's beautiful face. My eyes stung with tears and my throat was preparing for upcoming sobs. I bit my lip in attempt to try to stop myself, and then felt Edward's hand on my cheek. He guided my face back to look at his, and my tears slowly began to fall. He put his free hand on my other cheek as well, and his thumbs wiped away my tears. He didn't say anything, or do anything else. He just stood there for a few moments, staring into my eyes.

"Bella, if anyone is non-deserving, it's me."

"Yeah, right." I scoffed, and felt one small sob escape from my throat. _If only you knew._

"Bella, please. Just listen to me, and stop being so hard on yourself." Edward continued, and I gave no reaction. "I've never felt the way I do about you with any other girl in my life. And I want nothing more than to be with you forever. The things you do to me are unbelievable. Even the smallest thing about you sends me into chills. You're beautiful and absolutely amazing. If anything Bella, I was dead before I met you. You're my life now. And I'll do anything to make you happy, no matter what. You're nothing remotely close to a mistake. You're a blessing, Bella."

My tears continued to fall as I listened to Edward, and he continued to wipe them away. My skin was burning, and the sensation of his cold fingers on it was giving me goose bumps.

"Bella?" Edward asked me, smiling.

"Yes?" I replied, my voice raspy.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Edward's smile widened and I joined in with him.

"I will." I answered softly and chuckled at his cuteness. I didn't move either when he leaned his head closer to me. My breathing got deeper as I anticipated the one thing I had been waiting so long for. I heard his breathing, and it was similar to mine. His cheek grazed mine before he gave me what we both wanted.

The feeling of his soft lips on mine was indescribable. The sensation of him being so close to me and having him kiss me was amazing. I felt like I was alive again. I wrapped my arms around him and leaned into him, closing any space between us. Edward's hand left my one cheek and settled into my hair. Our kiss deepened, and I felt his tongue slightly graze my bottom lip. A small moan escaped my lips at the feeling and I tightened my hold around him.

"Maybe we should stop now before we get carried away." Edward said hoarsely as he pulled away. "But I would like to do that again soon."

"Anytime." I told him, realizing that my voice was just as hoarse as his was.

And I loved it.

Edward pulled me into a hug and I turned my head to set my cheek on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat and smiled when I noted how it matched mine. We were enjoying being in each other's arms, until we were interrupted by cat calls. I completely forgot that the other four of our newly formed group were inches away from us. And from the looks on their faces, they enjoyed our little show.

"Whoa baby! You two were making _me_ hot over here!" Emmett hollered and laughed, earning a swat from Rosalie.

"Stop it, they were so cute." She said and looked over warmly at me. I blushed immediately.

"Yeah, so cute I wanted to puke. Bro, get a room." Jasper teasingly added.

"Jasper, a little PDA is good for a relationship!" Alice chimed from Jasper's lap.

"Really?" Jasper's eyes widened at Alice's comment. Before she had a chance to answer him, he silenced her with his lips. When he pulled away, Alice smiled as big as her mouth possibly could. Yes, they were absolutely perfect for each other.

Our night continued just like that, with the boys coming up when they could and us stealing a dance with them a few times. The three of us were beaming. Inside and out. Who knew that three best friends would fall head over heels over three brothers? The Cullen boys were ideal men for dreams, and to say we were surprised to have them now wasn't the right word for it. And we couldn't wait to spend more time with them.

Before we knew it, the night had come to an end. We made our way to say our goodbyes to the guys at the bar and were just as unhappy as they were. This night was so memorable, and it hurt to have it end already. Edward came around the bar table and pulled me into a hug.

"I'll call you in the morning, okay?" Edward mumbled into my hair, and I nodded into his chest. I didn't want to leave, not after everything tonight. And especially not after that incredible kiss.

I pulled my head back, hoping for a last kiss before we left. Edward had wanted the same, as he leaned in and placed his lips on mine. Kissing him sent jolts through my body, and I loved every sensation I felt being close to him. I would never get enough of his touch on my skin, and his lips on mine. Our kiss ended and Edward kissed my forehead softly before we said our goodbyes. After Rosalie and Alice said similar goodbyes to Emmet and Jasper, we took off to grab a taxi.

I was about to take out my phone to call for a cab, but someone was calling me. I checked the caller ID.

_Private caller._

_That's weird,_ I thought. Only a few people actually knew my number, so I never had any private calls. I flipped my phone open.

"Hello?" I answered. No reply from the other line. "Hello, is anyone there?"

"Bella?" A strange voice asked. It sounded so familiar, but I couldn't recognize it right then.

"Yes, this is Bella." I said, and heard a click. The phone went dead, and I still had no idea who the other person on the line was. Weird enough that the voice sounded familiar, but the person had hung up too.

"Bella, who is it?" Alice asked me, noticing my expression.

"I have no idea." I frowned. "They just hung up on me too."

"Weird. Must've been a wrong number?" Alice added, and I nodded my head. It probably was.

We turned to face Rosalie, who was calling us into the cab. Alice and I followed her into it, and made our way home.

If only we knew what our following days would bring.

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**Uh ohhh... who's the mystery caller? Send me your guesses!**


	14. Chapter 14 The Morning After

**A/N: Well, things are going smoothly so far, no? Sorry... won't be like this for long! I'm going to hell, I know. Ah well.  
Again, for those of you who missed it, all clothings items and songs are linked up to my profile by chapter number. Check them out if you'd like!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. I've got nothing on her.**

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**BPOV**

Another night without nightmares. Another sleep of real dreams. Happy, peaceful dreams.

Dreams of Edward Cullen.

I took in a deep breath and smiled, not opening my eyes though I could feel the morning sun shining on my face. I wasn't ready to get up yet. My dreams, for what I could remember anyways, were enough to keep me in bed forever. The best thing was that a large part of my dream was of kissing Edward. And the fact that I didn't have to dream that anymore for it to happen.

Kissing Edward was unbelievable. I knew it had been a while since I'd… well, you know. But still, his kiss was incomparable to anyone. No guy in the past was even slightly similar to Edward in any possible way. I'd never met such a striking, down-to-earth, polite, honest, sweet, sexy, trustworthy, romantic –

_Uh, enough adjectives?_

As much as I hated my conscious, it was right. Then again, I didn't even care.

I heard my phone ring and my eyes shot open. I leaned over to grab my phone off of the ground and checked the caller ID.

_Edward._

There was my morning call, and right on time. I flipped open my phone and tried to hold out a little on my morning excitement.

"Good morning handsome." I smiled, wondering how hot he probably looked in the morning. The man had no flaws.

"Good morning to you too, gorgeous." Edward answered, chuckling. "I didn't wake you this time did I?"

"Nope, not this time." I said delicately, remembering our last morning phone call. "I just woke up now anyways."

"Ah, good." Edward sighed and I heard music in the background. I listened a little harder, trying to match the beautiful piano piece to a composer but failed.

"Edward, what are you listening to?" I asked him in awe. Whoever it was that composed it was extremely talented.

I heard Edward laugh before he answered me. "I'm not listening to anything but you. Why?"

"Well, either I'm going crazy, or I'm hearing an incredible piano piece."

Again, he laughed. "Well, you're not going crazy. That's me."

My jaw dropped in shock. I mean, I knew he was good from what he had told me, but it was something else just listening to him play.

"Edward," I whispered. "That's really beautiful."

"Well, I don't know about that. Its beauty is nothing compared to yours." Edward said softly to me as he continued playing in the background.

I blushed and chuckled nervously. That was one of Edward's specialties on me. And from his looks, I could tell he liked it too.

"Yeah, right." Him and his damn charm.

"Stop being so humble." Edward stated and sighed. "You know, I miss you already."

_We're definitely on the same page._

"I miss you too, Edward." I told him and sighed as well. "Last night was really great. It would've been nicer if you guys took a bit longer when we were dealing with Jessica though."

"I'm glad we didn't." Edward chuckled and I joined in. "And last night was incredible. With you, of course."

"Yeah, it really was." I snuggled back into my bed and breathed out loudly.

"Bella, are you still in bed?" Edward asked me curiously after a brief silence.

"Yup. Pajamas and all. Why?"

"Tease." Edward whispered softly so I wouldn't hear, but I laughed when I did.

"Nope. If I were a tease, I'd be telling you how much room on my bed there is for you."

_Whoa. Where the hell did that come from?_

I wasn't sure where all this sudden confidence was coming from, but I didn't think much of it. Edward was bringing out another side in me. And even though I wasn't exactly sure if it was a good thing or not, I would leave it for now. The time for all of that would come soon.

"Bella, that's really not nice." Edward's voice was suddenly gruff, and I was more than surprised at how I could affect him just as much as he could me.

"I'm sorry," I giggled. "But really, I want to see you."

"I was just thinking the same. Go get dressed, I'll pick you up in a half hour." And with that, Edward hung up.

I wanted to ask where we were going, but then again I didn't care.

As long as I was with Edward, I would go anywhere.

**EPOV**

I made my way out of the piano room to head into the bathroom for a cold shower.

Yeah, I needed one that bad.

Just imagining Bella lying in her bed. Hair tousled, wearing her pajamas and looking so beautiful. And then her telling me about the room in her bed for me. Well, that was more than enough to set me on fire. I wanted to see her as it was, but now I _needed _to.

I went into my bedroom to get ready after showering. I didn't have any huge plans really. I just wanted to be with her. So I just grabbed some jeans and of course, my favourite v-neck white t-shirt. After I finished, I went over to see what my brothers were doing this morning.

Surprisingly, they weren't playing video games this morning. The two of them were both sitting in the kitchen eating some cereal, and God knows where their minds were.

"Bad night?" I asked and laughed when they both jumped from their seats.

"Dude, more like fucking sexual frustration night." Emmett mumbled and played with his cereal. "Seriously, I've never felt like this. And Emmett don't like."

"Same here, man." Jasper followed. "The things Alice does to me are ridiculous. Last night was a killer."

I sighed and sat down on one of the kitchen stools. We were hooked.

"Guys, I think this is it for us." I spoke up. "I think these girls are, you know, _the ones_."

Emmett and Jasper both stopped and looked up at me, jaws dropped and all.

_Yup. So hooked._

I looked at the clock and realized I had ten minutes left before I picked up Bella. I grabbed my keys and made my way out the door.

"Edward, where are you going?" Emmett called from the kitchen.

"I'm taking my girlfriend out. And considering how whipped the two of you are, maybe you should follow through too." I yelled back and headed out the door.

Before I stopped by Bella's loft, I grabbed some flowers on my way. I wasn't exactly sure what flowers Bella would like, but the woman selling them told me that a freesia and lilac bouquet would be perfect for her.

I parked in front of Bella's loft and took the elevator up. I couldn't believe how nervous I was just to see her. The elevator door opened and I walked up to the girls' door, pressing the doorbell. After a few moments, Alice opened the door.

"Edward!" She yelped and gave me a hug, which I returned of course. We were all getting so attached with one another, and Alice was the type of person that I knew I could always come to with anything. Her personality was nothing short of unique, and one that anyone would fall in love with. Jasper was truly lucky to have her.

"Hey Alice. How's my favourite person this morning?" I asked and walked in behind her into the loft.

"I'm great now! Jasper just called and I'm meeting up with him in a bit." She said excitedly, and I laughed at how predictable my brothers were. All they needed was a little push, anyways.

I was about to comment when my heart began to pound frantically. My breathing became deeper, and I had to control myself from going limp.

"Right on time." I heard Bella's harmonious voice from behind me and I slowly turned to face her. Her jeans and t-shirt duo outfit was beginning to become my favourite.

I set the flowers on the kitchen table and put my hands to rest on the small of her back before leaning in to her. Kissing Bella was breathtaking, not to mention painful considering how much it hurt to pull away. I felt her hands run up my arms with one settling on the back of my neck, and the other running into my hair. God, it felt so good. Good enough that I groaned. I had to pull away before our kiss became more heated, and before I went out of control. Bella was becoming my very own kryptonite.

"Ready to go?" I asked her softly and looked into her alluring brown eyes. Her skin had turned a light pink, and her eyelids were fluttering. She nodded her head, and I took her hand. "Let's go."

We said our goodbyes to Alice and made our way out of the condo.

When we made it outside, I opened the passenger door for her and looked over to Bella. She wasn't getting in. She was standing there stunned, staring at my car.

"This? This is your car?" Bella asked me astonishingly. Her eyes were wide and she was pointing at my Volvo.

"Yeah, it is. A little present from the parents, you know?" I told her and signaled for her to get in. She did, though it was clear she was still in shock, and I closed the door for her before walking around to get into the driver's side.

"Are your parents like, millionaires or something?" Bella asked, chuckling quietly.

"Something like that." I smiled, keeping my eyes on the road. When Bella didn't reply, I became nervous and looked over at her. Her jaw had dropped again, and she was staring at me. "What?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, really." I answered. My brothers and I never made a big deal about it, but other people did when they found it. It taught us a lot about trusting people as we got older.

Bella's silence was starting to worry me. "You okay? I mean, it's not really a big deal or anything."

"No, no. It's not that." Bella said before turning her body to face me. "I'm just kind of curious."

"Would you like me to tell you about my parents?" I asked her, smiling at her genuine curiosity. Bella nodded in agreement, so I began.

"My mother, Esme, is a psychologist. Well, not as much anymore I should say. She doesn't practice as much as she used to because she's been focusing more on interior designing. She says it's her true passion, and she's really good at it. She did our whole condo, as well as our place back in Seattle. My dad, Carlisle, is a doctor. Apparently he's a pretty good one too, because people come all the way down to Seattle to see him specifically."

I gazed over at Bella, and smiled seeing how attentive she was. She was leaning on her side in her chair, completely focused on me.

"Will you tell me more?" Bella asked me gently. It took me a little off guard, but I complied.

"Of course." I began, bringing my eyes back to focus on the road. "My parents are both one of a kind. They've supported the three of us with whatever we threw at them, and would bend over backwards for us. My mom is the sweetest, most compassionate person I've ever met. And my father is extremely kind and warm-hearted. We're all very close, which is why it's been hard on the five us with this separation. You'd really love them, Bella."

I looked back over at Bella, whose tears were slowly running down her cheeks. "Bella, what's wrong?"

She sniffed and wiped off her tears. "Your parents sound amazing. I just miss mine so much."

I was reminded of her crying the other morning about her parents and how much she missed them. But then again, she told me that she had no one in Forks to go back to.

"Bella, will you tell me about your parents?" I had to ask her. She became very silent and looked down at her hands.

"They passed away. Four years ago." Bella whispered softly, and my heart broke. I couldn't imagine the loss of both parents, and it was clear that Bella had a strong bond with hers as well.

I reached out, keeping one hand on the wheel, and held both of Bella's hands. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

She took one of her hands out and set it on top of mine, squeezing it. "It's okay. I just haven't gotten over it yet. And I don't really talk to anyone about it either. Only Rose and Alice knew."

"Well, if you do want to talk about it, I'm always here." I told her, trying to hide how upset I was. It must've been so hard for her going through life without her parents. But I didn't want to show her how I really felt because I didn't want her to feel any worse.

"I know, Edward. And I'm trying. I just need some time." Bella sighed.

"Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere." I picked up her hand and brought it to my lips.

We had reached our destination, and I turned into the parking lot to park my car. As I got out of my seat, I made my way to open the door for Bella.

"Where are we?" She asked me curiously.

"Welcome to the Cullen condo." I announced and grinned. I hoped I wasn't being too forward, but I wanted to show her my place. I sighed in relief when Bella smiled and locked her hand with mine.

As we reached our floor, I opened the door to let Bella in.

"Emmett! Jasper!" I called, wondering if my brothers were still home. And they were, except they were rushing to make their way out.

"Bella!" Emmett hollered and picked Bella off of the floor into a huge hug. Bella gave him just as big of a hug back and smiled widely. "Welcome to mi casa!"

"Uh, _our_ casa." Jasper added and reached out to hug Bella as well. I smiled at how close we were all getting, and how much my brothers liked Bella. It meant a lot to me already.

"Anyways, hate to break up the party, but we have some girlfriends to fetch. Later love birds!" Emmett stated and made his way out the door, followed by Jasper.

"Breakfast first, or tour?" I asked Bella, and laughed when I heard her stomach grumble. "Breakfast it is."

I made two omelets up for the both of us, and we ate them quickly. When we both had finished, I threw the dishes into the wash and extended my hand to her. Bella gazed up at me and smiled, reaching out to lace her hand with mine.

I showed her the lounge, followed by the dining room and living room. I quickly passed by Emmett and Jasper's room, glad that at least Jasper was the clean one even if Emmett couldn't be organized for the life of him. Before showing her my bedroom, I led her into the piano room which seemed to be her favourite. She looked around at the large room in awe, and ran her fingers along the piano keys. Lastly, my bedroom. She walked in silently, looking around at everything. She stopped in front of my CD collection, gasping as she saw it.

"This is all yours?" Bella asked, reaching out to touch them.

"Yeah. I collect only the best." I chuckled and ran my hand through my hair.

Bella continued to look around, and stopped to look at my plaque before sitting down on the edge of my bed. I felt myself get excited at the prospect of her on my bed, so I sat beside her.

"You really have a nice place, Edward. And you were right about your mom. There's no way the three of you could've managed decorating yourselves!" Bella laughed and as did I in agreement.

"All true. I'm glad you approve of the Cullen condo." I smirked, and leaned back on my elbows.

"Oh, I do. I approve everything about the Cullens." Bella laughed and shifted to lay flat on my bed.

_Control yourself, Edward._

I couldn't, as much as I wanted to. Bella was just lying there on my bed like it was nothing, staring into my eyes.

I leaned over, slightly hovering over her from the side. I moved down, and ran my lips over her neck to her ear. "Everything?"

I could hear Bella's breathing hitch. "Yes." She breathed out as I kissed underneath her jaw. "Everything."

I reached over and set my hand on her hip. I kissed both of her eyelids, then the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. She was so warm, and so perfect. I felt her hand in my hair again, and loved the feeling of it. Bella's touch anywhere on me was mind-blowing, but it was different when she ran her fingers through my hair. I shifted more so that I was completely hovering over her, and traced my hand up and down her side. Our breaths were getting shorter and deeper, but we didn't stop. We both wanted this so much.

I felt her tongue slightly graze my lips, and I moaned. Following with her request, I opened my mouth as did she, giving both of our tongues free access. Bella was so amazing, I could've just kissed her forever. I felt her hand run down my shirt, feeling my chest and it settled on my lower abs underneath my shirt. I lifted the hem of her shirt slightly, wanting to feel her warm, smooth skin. I heard Bella whimper underneath me, and I felt myself getting aroused. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, so as much as it killed me, I pulled away. I opened my eyes to look into hers.

"So beautiful." I whispered, and laughed as she pouted. It was too irresistible not to lean in and kiss her bottom lip. "But we should stop before we get carried away."

Bella sighed but nodded. And I was glad she agreed, or else I wouldn't be able to stop myself if we went at it again. I was still hovered over her, with my hand on her side and hers in my hair.

"What are you doing tonight?" Bella asked me, her voice still a little husky.

"Working. But I really want to be with you tonight." I admitted, hoping she was able to read my mind.

"Me too. If the girls haven't made plans, we'll come by tonight." Bella told me and smiled, giving me the answer I wanted.

"Perfect." I told her, wondering if she realized the double meaning in it.

Unfortunately for us, our night was nothing close to perfection.

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**Apparently I gave up on cliffies and went for some foreshadowing? I'm a cruel... cruel person, I know. Still love me enough to review? =)**


	15. Chapter 15 Rude Awakenings

**Well, time to start again, shall we? Hope you all enjoyed that make out session, I know I sure did. ;)  
As always, prep yourself for the angst that comes with Compromises & Promises. Here's another trip down the angst train!  
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Not me.**

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**EPOV**

As much as I enjoyed our heated moment, I ended up dropping Bella home. After calling Alice and Rosalie, they told her to get home immediately so they could go shopping for that night. Knowing Alice as much as I did now, I felt bad for Bella. Only Alice, the most petite and innocent looking girl I've ever known, could terrify me all in one moment. So, I did as she asked and dropped Bella back at her condo. I had a few hours to spare before I had to get ready, so I ended up cleaning the condo. All except for Emmett's room. Who knew what creatures, dead or alive, were infested in that room. My parents were planning on a visit soon, so he'd better get on with the cleaning before Mom kills him. First born son or not.

I still had some time after cleaning, so I called home.

"Edward! You sound a lot better than the last time you called. How is everything now?" Mom asked me, and my heart warmed at the sound of her voice. I couldn't wait for my parents to visit. Moving made me realize how much I missed them.

"Hey Mom. Everything is perfect. And, you'll be happy to know that Bella is officially my girlfriend." I informed her, laughing at her excited squeals in return.

"I'm so happy for you Edward! And I can't wait to meet her! Do you think we could when we come by next week?" She asked, clearly eager as was I.

"Of course. I've already told her all about you. And Dad, of course. I think she's really looking forward to meeting the both of you too."

"Well, we couldn't be happier for you Edward. Your father isn't here right now. He's dealing with some patients at the hospital so he can free himself up next week. But I know he'll be thrilled as well." It felt weird not speaking to my father in such a long time, but I knew how busy he was. He always made up for it though, no matter what. "Baby, I'm very sorry, but I'm on a tight schedule too. I rescheduled my clients too, so I need to get on my way."

"No, it's alright Mom." I assured her, glad that they were both doing their best to spend as much time with us as they could. "I have to get ready for work right now anyways. But I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Love you."

"Love you too, baby. Pass my love to your brothers for me. And tell Emmett to clean his room. I can't even imagine how he's doing without me." My mother sighed, and I chuckled in return.

After hanging up with my mother, I got myself ready. As I finished, I headed into the lounge where Jasper and Emmett joined a short while later. After grabbing a few bites to go, we made our way to Midnight Sun.

And as usual, I told the guys at the door to let the girls in when they came.

We were working for a few hours when I felt two hands wrap around my waist.

"Hello my gorgeous boyfriend." Bella's voice and sweet breath on my ear gave me goose bumps. Not to mention the fact that my heart was speeding far faster than the normal human speed. I hadn't seen what her outfit looked like yet, but I just silently prayed that my heart wouldn't stop on me.

I slowly turned around to face Bella.

_Fuck. Me._

She was wearing a strapless black dress that showed a small amount of cleavage, yet she still looked unbelievably classy. The sides were white, and the hemline went into a triangular shape. And of course, it showed leg. I wouldn't be surprised if I were drooling.

Bella's laughter snapped me out of my ogling. "I take it I should thank Alice?"

"Well you should thank me for a lot, but what in general?" I heard Alice's voice behind me, giggling.

"I don't know what Bella's thanking you for," I told her as I began to turn and face her. "But if you want to kill me, could we do it in a less agonizing way?"

Alice and Rosalie were looking just as beautiful tonight, and I looked around for my brothers to see their reactions. And as expected, they were very similar to mine. Except they both were leaning across the bar, jaws dropped and gawking at them.

Alice was wearing a short, pleated pink dress with black straps and waistband. It made her look absolutely adorable, as usual. Rosalie, on the other hand, was dressed to kill. Probably Emmett, anyways. She was wearing a strapless, fitted black dress that showed enough leg and cleavage as possible without looking like a hussy. Rosalie was laughing at my comment.

"Hey, if I can get a huge guy like Emmett on his knees with Alice's help, then I should be doing the thanking." She said, before winking at Emmett. I actually saw the poor guy's leg give out from underneath him.

Alice and Rosalie made their way up to their table, and signaled Bella to follow.

"I'll be up there in a sec." She told them as I turned back around to face her. Bella's smile could make me melt, and the fact that I could slowly see life in her beautiful brown eyes wasn't helping me either. I was delighted that she was noticeably getting better.

"You do look remarkably stunning." I told her, wrapping my arms to settle on the small of her back. I leaned in to kiss her cheek, smelling her beautiful scent as I did. I could never get enough of her.

"Alice can work wonders." Bella giggled softly, clearly influenced by our closeness. I wondered if she was blushing right now. Before I could pull myself away far enough to see, I was interrupted by someone calling my voice.

My stomach clenched, and I groaned as I immediately recognized that voice.

**BPOV**

"Edward!" I heard someone call from behind the bar.

It snapped me out of my daze, and I wasn't appreciative of it. I heard Edward groan and move back, though still keeping his arms around me. He shifted slightly to face the person, and I looked over to see who had called him.

It was a woman, and she was extremely beautiful. She was tall, tanned and had long locks of blonde hair. Not to mention the fact that she looked as if she had just walked off of a runway. I could feel my self-esteem dropping.

"Tanya." Edward growled, and I looked up to see his expression. He looked just as he did the night before with Lauren, and it hurt seeing him like that. This girl must've meant something to him. And just then, my confidence began to fall as well.

_What did Tanya mean to Edward?_

"Oh, Eddie." Tanya said sweetly as she sat on one of the bar stools, reaching out to touch Edward's arm. "You haven't changed. I'd have to thank Mommy and Daddy Cullen for that again, of course."

I felt my breathing get deeper, and my head flood with thoughts. Tanya was clearly flirting with Edward, and I was extremely jealous. Plus, her mentioning Edward's parents. This girl was clearly not a relative, but it looked like she was someone close to him in the past.

"Yeah, sure." Edward said harshly, still with the same expression. He immediately drew back from her touch. "Tanya, this is my girlfriend, Bella."

I did my best to give her a small smile, though hers faded. I saw her quickly compose herself, and get back into some fake imitation of happiness. "Nice to meet you, Bella."

"Edward, a little help bro?" Emmett called, waving the pile of orders in his hand.

Edward turned back to face me, worry settling on his face. I didn't understand why, but I didn't bother asking now. Whatever it was, it involved Tanya.

"You should help them. I'll wait here for you, okay?" I told him reassuringly. He looked back over at Tanya, then back at me. Edward breathed out loudly and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek before helping out his brothers. I stood there watching him, admiring his sculpted body. Unfortunately, Tanya's voice broke me out of my admiration.

"Bella, huh?" She questioned, and I gazed over to her. "I swear, you look really familiar. Have we met before?"

I shrugged and shook my head, because I hadn't seen her before. And if I had, I definitely would've remembered someone like her. Even just now, she was unforgettable.

"No, wait. Did you go to Forks High?" Tanya asked me, and I froze. I wasn't able to speak, so I just shook my head again.

"No, no you definitely did. Bella… Shoot. Bella… Swan! Yeah, you're Bella Swan!" She exclaimed, putting on a large, devilish grin. I wasn't prepared for this kind of situation considering I'd never expected it to happen.

"I'm sorry. You've got the wrong person." I denied again, and walked around the bar to make my way up to Rosalie and Alice. Before I could, however, Tanya grabbed my wrist.

"Sweetie, it's okay." Tanya sweetly told me, and I felt sick to my stomach. "I don't blame you for leaving. I would've done the same if I were you. It was a good idea, you know?"

I glared at Tanya before pulling my wrist away from her grasp. As much as I couldn't bear being in this conversation, my curiosity was overpowering me.

"Good idea?" I questioned.

"Yeah, it was. I mean, you never heard the things that were going around?" She asked me. I opened my mouth to end the conversation because to be honest, I wasn't ready to hear anything like that. However, Tanya continued so I didn't have the chance.

"Well, I should tell you, you know? I mean, we did go to high school together, so we're practically friends." Tanya began, still grinning and my stomach twisted in preparation for what was to come.

"There were a few things going around. At first, it was all like, Jacob Black killed your parents on purpose or something. And then that you were out drinking and partying while your parents were practically dead. It's sad though, because everyone at Forks blames you. I mean, everyone says that they don't want you back. You made the right choice to come all the way to New York. Far away from what happened, you know? Like, if I was the reason why my parents died and my boyfriend killed them, I'd do the same."

The pain searing through me was unbearable. As if the painful shattering of my heart wasn't enough, I felt my whole body shatter again as well. Not only did I blame myself, but the entire population of the town I grew up in thought the same. That it was all me. That Charlie and Renee Swan would be alive if it weren't for me.

That I was pathetic, worthless and disgraceful.

"You're lying." I whispered, though Tanya probably couldn't hear me over the music. I didn't know what else to do but deny it. It just seemed wrong. So terrible. I was so ashamed of myself.

"Oh, sweetie. I wouldn't lie." Tanya smiled wide and set her hand on my shoulder. I recoiled at once, feeling my throat clench and my breathing become difficult.

"Excuse me." I said, not even looking at her. I slowly turned and made my way out the door.

I was broken again.

But this time, I didn't know if I could be fixed.

**EPOV**

I groaned loudly as I finished my last order.

"Fuck, can the girls in this place order anything other than cosmos and screwdrivers?" I spat through my teeth. It was the same thing every time. Seriously, what was the point of bartending when you make the same drinks all the time? There just wasn't any excitement in that.

Or maybe I was just tense because of Tanya's sudden appearance that night.

Either way, I was pissed.

"Edward, do I need to get my eyes checked, or is that Tanya Delani sitting at the bar?" Emmett asked me as his eyes widened. Jasper heard as well, as he came up to the both of us.

I sighed and nodded my head.

I couldn't believe Tanya was here. We had dated for a long time, but I broke up with her a few months back. She was just too much to deal with after a while. Of course she was gorgeous, but everything inside of her was ugly. She was controlling, demanding, and extremely jealous. All the time. My parents and brothers were never fond of her, and I didn't understand why until the last bit of our relationship. Although I couldn't stand her, I matured a lot after being with her. It made me appreciate a real woman for what she is inside and not base my feelings only on looks.

It made me love Bella even more.

But the thing that was affecting me the most was that Tanya knew I worked at Midnight Sun. It was clearly not an accident of her coming. And she already knew how I felt about her when I saw her last. I made it certain that she knew everything when I broke up with her, and I thought she had. Apparently not.

"Seriously bro, what the fuck?" Emmett asked again. "She's been sitting there forever just staring at you."

"Edward, I thought you finished things off with her." Jasper asked me worriedly. I knew he was thinking of all the things I went through with her, and he was genuinely concerned.

"I did. Completely. She just came up when I was with Bella, that's it." I explained, sighing again as I remembered how she ruined my intimate moment with Bella.

"By the way, where is Bella?" Jasper questioned as he began to look around for her. I felt my stomach tighten as I wondered where she was. And if anything happened between her and Tanya.

I walked around the bar and saw that Tanya was still sitting there. Fake smile on her face and all, as she was clearly attempting to be seductive. It had no affect on me though, I was immune to her devious acts.

"Where's Bella?" I asked through clenched teeth. I already knew her answer wasn't going to be any good.

"Bella?" Tanya asked me, cocking her head to the side and acting as if she had no idea who I was talking about.

"Yeah, Bella." I snapped. "My fucking girlfriend, where is she?"

I knew Tanya had done something. She was manipulative and conniving, so whatever she pulled with Bella did damage.

"Oh, her." She said, rolling her eyes. "I had a nice chat with her. Seems like we go way back. I just did what was right and let her in on a few things."

My eyes widened and it took everything in me not to lash out at Tanya right there. I turned away from her and snapped my head to look around Midnight Sun for Bella. I couldn't feel her in the bar, so I ran out the door. I was softly saying her name as I rushed to look for her. A few moments later, I could hear her in the alley by the backdoor. I took several deep breaths as I walked towards her, but wasn't prepared for what was coming.

"Bella?" I said gently before approaching her. I didn't want to scare her, so I called out to her first to let her know it was me.

She was crouching, leaning her back on the wall. She had her head down, and I could see her back moving up and down as she was sobbing. It reminded me of the first night we had met, and my heart pained to see her like that again. However, as she heard my voice, she slowly looked up at me.

Her beautiful brown eyes had been so full of life earlier.

Now, they were empty again.

I hurried over to her, pulling her into my arms as I sat on the floor. She wrapped her arms around my sides and began to sob harder into my shoulder. And I didn't stop her, or move her until she did. Whatever she had to let out, she could.

I would always be here for her. And I would fix this. I would do my best to take all the pain away from Bella, and to help her again.

But I wasn't prepared for what was to come.

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**So, who hates Tanya and wants to cut the bitch? Who, you? Well then why don't you tell me! ;) **


	16. Chapter 16 Pushing Away

**Toot toot! Here's the angst train once more! Please don't hate me after this chapter... I promise things will work out!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Wish I did...**

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**EPOV**

It had been two days since I found Bella crying behind Midnight Sun. Except, those two days felt more like two months.

I took Bella home right after she'd felt a little better. Well, more like she'd stopped crying anyways. I knew she didn't feel any better than she had. She probably felt worse. Anyways, I took her back to her loft that night. Since then, I'd only spoken to her four times. And only on the phone for a few minutes. That was it. I would ask her how she was, or if she wanted me to come by or something. And then it wouldn't be long before she'd tell me how tired she was, and that she couldn't talk or some shit.

To be honest, I was getting a little pissed off. Of course, I was worried, but it wasn't fair that she was pushing me away like that. I was with her through everything. Her first breakdown would've pushed anyone away, but I stood by her. And as much as I didn't want to, I held myself back with her because she was so fragile. Not to mention the fact that I'm in love with the girl, so I don't want to rush anything. Every moment with her is amazing, so why would I?

But now, she's barely talking to me. I ask to come by and she says no. It's as if she's pushing me away.

Seriously.

What. The. Fuck.

Funny thing is, as frustrated as I was, I wasn't giving up on her. It never even went through my mind. Whatever I was going through with Bella, I'd deal with it. And I could care less what people thought of me about it. Bella was worth it, no matter what.

It was nighttime now, as I was lying on my bed and cranking some Muse. Seemed appropriate, I guess. The thing that was going through my mind now as my conversation with Tanya the night before. And instantly, I felt myself shudder.

"_Hello?" I answered, not bothering to ignore the Private Caller again. It had been ringing non-stop all day._

"_Finally, I hear your sexy voice." I heard a familiar purring. _

"_Tanya." I growled, not bothering to ignore my anger. And what the hell was she doing calling me anyways?_

"_Oh, baby." Tanya said gently. "You make me so hot when you say my name like that."_

"_What the fuck are you doing calling me?" I snapped, not bothering with being polite or that crap. I had enough of her._

"_Gentle, gentle Eddie." She said, not taken aback either. "I wanted to ask how you were doing, of course. And if you wanted to meet up. I'm leaving early tomorrow."_

"_You're kidding right?" I scoffed, though I wasn't really all that surprised. "Why would I want to be anywhere near you? Especially now, considering the shit you put my girlfriend through. You're fucking pathetic, Tanya."_

"_Sweetie, I was just doing you a favour." She said sweetly. "You have no idea who Bella Swan really is. And really, I'm not surprised with you lowering your expectations after me. That girl is a disaster."_

_My jaw tightened, and I could feel myself shaking with fury. Who the hell did Tanya think she was? Thinking she knew my girlfriend more than I did, and saying that I _lowered_ my expectations? Last time I checked, Bella raised the bar for any other girl to even reach. _

"_I know exactly who Bella is. And she's more of a woman than you'll ever be." I told her angrily. "And Tanya, you're the only one I lowered my expectations for."_

_I heard Tanya gasp, and her tone changed to equal mine. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're choosing that pitiful charity case over me? Are you blind, Edward?"_

"_I was before, but not now." Although Tanya was fuming, I felt myself ease. I didn't care about her anymore. I didn't care about what she thought, or how she felt. She meant nothing to me._

"_You don't know her Edward! Not like I do. You have no idea –" Tanya began, as her voice was rising._

"_No, I don't know her like you do. And I don't want to know what bullshit you're going to tell me about her. Because I don't care about you, or your lies." I explained, shaking my head at the realization. _

"_What? Are you fucking drunk?" Tanya screamed. "Edward, listen to me. Bella is nothing. You love me!"_

"_No, I don't." I sighed and retorted. This conversation wouldn't get any better. "I'm in love with Bella Swan, and there's nothing and no one that can change my mind. You're out of my life Tanya."_

_And I hung up._

I had a couple private calls after that, but I didn't bother answering them. It wasn't worth it.

As I was lying on my bed, still thinking of Bella, I was left with two choices.

One: I get up and do something productive. Probably go out since it was still early in the night.

Or two: Call Bella, for the second time today, and see how she was.

With option two, the thing that was pushing me from it was that I didn't want to hear Bella's voice again. Not in that way, of course, but the voice that I hated hearing. I didn't have to be beside her to hear the pain in her voice, and that's what I'd been listening to the last couple of days.

Plus, I couldn't deal with talking for a few moments awkwardly, and then ending it.

And just then, another thought went through my head. There was someone else that I could call.

I pulled out my phone, and began making arrangements.

**BPOV**

I awoke startled, drenched in a cold sweat and tears running down my face.

Another nightmare.

I'd been having them again since Edward brought me home. And I haven't slept since. I didn't bother looking in the mirror to see how I looked. First of all, I couldn't bear to look at my reflection. And second, I didn't want to see how horrible I even looked. And when I tried the other day, I ran to the washroom when my stomach turned. After that, I grabbed a towel and draped it on the mirror.

I couldn't believe how I was feeling right now. After what Tanya had told me what Forks really thought of Bella Swan, my whole life flipped over. Back to the fake one I had been trying to live, anyways. Except worse.

I hadn't eaten in the last two days, or slept. I missed a class this morning, which I'm sure to get a lot of shit for soon. And the only time I've gotten up from my bed was to go to the washroom. Other than the fact that Alice literally pushed me into the shower today. I could care less about my hygiene, really.

And then there was Edward.

He'd been calling me, of course. And he was naturally worried about me.

And I was pushing him away.

I know sometimes people do that unconsciously, but I wasn't. I intended to push him away from me, so that he wouldn't want me anymore. Yes, I was tired when he called. But I was tired all the time, so it didn't matter. I'd barely talk to him on the phone, reject him and then end the call. I imagined it'd take only a few calls before he'd give up, but he hadn't. He'd still call.

I closed my eyes hesitantly, not wanting to see any flashbacks of my nightmare, and imagined Edward.

His body, perfectly sculpted like a Greek god. His layback, carefree style from head to toe. Two piercing, emerald green eyes that could draw anyone in. His sweet, melodious voice and kind personality. Him running his hand through his flawless, copper hair. His chiseled jaw, and his gorgeous, dazzling smile.

I kept thinking of Edward. Slowly, the image began to change.

I imagined being in Edward's Volvo, as he drove and was holding my hand. Except he didn't look like he had before. He was wearing a worried expression, and his speed was drastically increasing. I looked from his speedometer back to him, and saw him turn angry. And then slowly, his skin began to darken and his body slowly changed. And it changed to an all-so-familiar face.

Jacob Black.

I tried to scream, but I couldn't make any noise. Jacob was holding on to my hand tight, so I couldn't pull away. I kept screaming and screaming, but no sound came out. I turned to look forward and froze when I saw the car in front of us.

Looking right at me were my parents' faces as they drove towards us in the police cruiser. And they were in sheer terror, as my father tried steering away. Jacob continued to drive towards them, and I pushed myself to grab the wheel to move it. Without any luck. I looked back to my parents, one more time, before the cars collided.

My eyes flew open and I sprung up. Looking around, I tried to compose myself.

I fell asleep. And back into my nightmare.

I sighed again, pushing back my tears. I made my way to the washroom, feeling my body burning as I went. A cold shower was definitely needed, so I grabbed some clean clothes and made my way.

I took my time in the shower, feeling the droplets of water splash my back. The water was at the coldest it could go, but I still felt the heat on my skin. I put my hands on the wall, back facing the shower head for a while. I didn't think I could leave if I still felt the burning, because I began to feel it now. As if I was on fire. It was like my body was punishing me too, so I let it.

I was only in the shower for a few more minutes before I got out. I changed into the clean flannel plants and racer back cami before heading back to my bed. And back to my shame. I was in the hallway when I heard Alice's voice come from the kitchen.

"Bella?" She called, and I figured Rosalie wasn't home if she knew it was me.

"Yeah?" I managed to call out, although it wasn't as loud as I'd hoped. Even my voice was failing me now.

"Can you come down here, please?" Alice asked sweetly. I took in a deep breath and made my way down the stairs where she met me. "How are you feeling?"

I sighed and shrugged. "Not better, if not worse."

"Do you want to eat anything? I got some take-out. Chinese, your favourite." She asked and set her hand on mine as I sat down on one of the steps. I didn't even have the energy to stand.

I pushed away some loose wet strands of my hair and shook my head. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

Alice crouched down and looked up at me. "Well, there's something else I brought for you."

I squinted, wondering what she meant as she gave me a small, reassuring smile. And that's when I heard it.

"Hey Bella."

**EPOV**

I hate to sound like an asshole, but I regretted coming to Bella's condo. It hurt seeing the way she did right now. She looked even more fragile than she had before, and her eyes were so… empty. Not to mention the evident bags under them. She was worse off than I'd thought.

But it made me want to be with her even more now, as weird as it sounds.

"Edward?" Her eyes shot up and looked at me. "What are you doing here?"

"I'll leave you two alone." Alice said softly, and stood up from her crouching position in front of Bella to make her way back up the stairs.

I nervously ran my hand through my hair, slightly pulling before I released. "I wanted to see you."

Bella looked at me curiously before turning to look into her fidgeting hands. "Not a great time to come. I look like a disaster."

I frowned as she said that. "Bella, you always look beautiful."

Her head snapped up, and she tilted her head as she narrowed her eyes at me. "Why do you say things like that?"

Not gonna lie, I was taken aback. "Because it's the truth."

"No, it's not." Bella retorted as she stood up. "This isn't working Edward. I think we should reconsider our relationship."

I stared at her after she'd said that, analyzing her every movement. She was holding out on me, and I thought that maybe the feeling I was getting of her pushing me away was right. She was pushing me away, but for the wrong reasons. Even now, she was doing the same thing. Pushing me away, but I could see right through her. Her fidgeting hands, her trying to keep a safe expression. It was all a giveaway.

"Bella," I said softly, as I slowly moved towards her. "Why are you doing this?"

Her mouth opened, but closed as she couldn't come up with anything to say. I moved closer to her, and slowly reached my hand out to set on hers.

"Bella. Talk to me." I pleaded.

She gazed back at me, silent as she did. And then suddenly, she whipped her hand from under mine and shook her head.

"We can't be together anymore Edward." Bella whispered and turned to make her way up the stairs.

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**Oh joy, back to cliffies. Hate me?**


	17. Chapter 17 Revenge

**I know that no one wants to hear from the broad, but here's a Tanya POV. Hate her? Then get ready to loathe the bitch.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**TPOV**

"Ms. Denali, your drink."

I took the cosmopolitan from the tray and drank it hastily. It didn't quite hit the spot, but it was something. I needed something stronger anyways, but it'd do. For now.

After my last phone call with Edward, I had some rushed choices to make. And some plans to set in motion. He was so blinded by poor little Swan bitch that he was turning his back on me.

Me? Tanya Denali?

Right.

This was just something temporary, I knew already. It would only take a small period of time. But it didn't matter, because I was going to speed the process. I had enough of Swan putting her hands around what was mine.

Edward.

Edward was mine. All mine. We were just hitting a rough spot in our relationship, but what healthy couple doesn't. He would've been completely fine if she hadn't come into the picture.

_Stupid, dumb bitch._

But it wasn't like me, Tanya Denali, to sit here and watch everything go anyway _but_ mine. I wouldn't let it. How ridiculous would the world be if it wasn't perfect to my exact liking? That's how it should be, always. And that's how it's always been. I wasn't about to settle for anything different now.

My phone rang, and I ignored the caller ID. I already knew who it was.

"Ms. Denali, everything has been planned." The voice on the other line said as I picked up the call. "It's all waiting for you and set in place."

"Good." I said sweetly, enjoying how everything was working out already. "And don't worry, your work will be rewarded."

I hung up, clutching my Blackberry. My excitement was uncontrollable, and it was great.

After talking to Edward, and calling him again with no luck, I called Daddy. One of his private jets was already in New York, so that already worked out. And after that, I made a couple more calls. And now, it's all in motion.

I had to get my revenge. I had to give Bella Swan a taste of her own medicine. I mean, who the hell did she think she was? She was some messed up broad from pathetic Forks, and now she's got Edward thinking he's in _love_ with her?

_He hadn't even told me he loved me…_

I shook my head against the thought. He's just taking his time with me, of course. I already knew he loved me just as much as I loved him.

So, here I was, sitting on this first class jet on my way to my destination.

When I found out that Edward was still hung up over Bella after I'd let her in on some things, it downright pissed me off. I only said all those things so that she'd run away or something. Maybe even get hit by a car on the way, who knows? I just wanted her to _go away._

Thing is, Forks didn't think any of what I told her. Hell, no one even knew where she even went. The town still grieves when you talk about Renee and Charlie Swan, and it makes me want to gag. I was so sick of how the attention was always on them, and how bad they felt for their poor girl. Who just mysteriously disappeared right after they died. Never did I think that I'd see her again.

And then I did. With _my_ Edward.

The jet hit ground, and I made my way out of the airport. Waiting outside for me was my limo and driver, holding the door open for me.

I got in the car, and I assumed that the driver already knew where to go. Good. I was sick of having lazy, brainless people working for me. It was such a waste.

My thoughts still ran as I was in the car. And I couldn't believe how excited I was. How smart, beautiful and cunning I was.

_God, I'm so perfect._

I pulled out my compact from my purse to do a final check before we stopped.

I looked at my gorgeous reflection. And again, I couldn't even imagine how Edward even picked Bella over me.

But now, it was all over. I wouldn't have to worry about my Edward anymore, because my amazing plan was obviously going to work. Then again, when do they not?

I would get Edward back. And I would make Bella's life miserable. Everything would work out just as I wanted it to, and no other way. I would ruin Bella and then be there when Edward comes to me. Of course, I'll be there with open arms. That's what people do when they love each other.

The car stopped and I waited for the driver to open my door, as I stepped out and breathed in the fresh night air. I looked at the restaurant and made my way in, stating my name to the host. He led me the way and signaled my table.

Of course, my guest was waiting there for me. Right on time too.

Perfect.

His eyes widened as he saw me, obviously adoring my beauty. Probably thinking some dirty thoughts too, but I didn't blame him. He couldn't help himself.

"Tanya." He said softly, still too dazed to say anything else. Though he managed to work his legs, getting up to pull the chair out for me.

I smiled widely and ran my hand down his arm, leaving goose bumps as I did.

"Alec. I'm so glad you joined me."

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**Shady broad. You all remember Alec. This smells trouble, no? **


	18. Chapter 18 Four Letters

**Alright, back to where we left off before that great Tanya POV (sarcasm). Maybe you'll forgive me now for leaving you with that cliffie...?  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Sometimes I wish I was Stephenie Meyer...**

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**BPOV**

"We can't be together anymore Edward."

I was such an idiot. I was giving up one of the best things that was happening to me in my life. But this what I had to do. The best thing to do right now was to give Edward up. And as much as it hurt, I had to do it.

Adding onto being an idiot, I was a coward. I couldn't even look at Edward, and forced myself to get up to make my way to my bedroom. And with every step, my tears began to fall. Without looking back, I walked through the hallway and into my bedroom. And that was when my sobs emerged.

What was I _doing?_ After everything Edward and I had been through, what the _fuck_ was I doing? Was I that insane to let Edward slip away from me now?

But I was right to do it. Stupid, pathetic Bella Swan didn't deserve someone to love her. And especially not Edward Cullen.

Tanya was right. I mean, if not even the people of Forks, the people who basically saw me grow up and were so connected to my parents, didn't give a shit about me then why would I even bother with Edward? He deserved someone better. Someone whole, not broken apart into a million pieces.

I didn't even make it to my bed. I collapsed on the floor in front of it in a fetal position, leaning on the edge with my face in my hands. My sobs were louder and more intense, and it became difficult to breath.

I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to let Edward go, and I was _hurting_. I never knew I could feel like this again. The last time I had was when my parents died.

When I lost my mom and dad.

And now I was losing Edward.

Death was looking so much better to me now. If I had to live like this, losing precious people, then I didn't want it. I didn't want to be alive.

It's better to be dead than broken.

My chest heaved as the sobs continued, and I felt a searing pain as every breath managed to come out.

It was all over.

And just when I thought that I'd managed to ruin myself completely, I heard his voice in the distance.

"Bella."

I didn't look up, but tried to silence my sobs. Unfortunately, there was no luck. Even if I had composed my sobs, my shaking body would've given me away.

I heard Edward's slow footsteps towards me but stopped a short distance away. I figured he was scared, and probably about to say something before he left me. Forever.

"Bella. Can I please say something?" He asked me softly. "And then if you want, I'll leave. I promise."

I was still sobbing, but slowly nodded my head once. I'd let him say goodbye, and tell me how I was a crazy psycho. I deserved it.

I heard Edward sigh before he began.

"Bella, I don't think you know what you do to me. What you've _done_ to me. From the first moment I laid my eyes on you up and until this exact moment. I've never felt like this before. And really, I'm scared."

I heard him slowly come closer and sit beside me a short distance away. I still hadn't moved from my same position, not to mention how surprised I was to hear he was scared.

"I'm scared of everything about us. How bad I'm falling for you. But right now, you're scaring me. You're pushing me away, and I know it. I can see right through you, Bella. But I don't know _why_ you're doing this. I don't have any idea how else I'm supposed to tell you that I'm not going anywhere. I understand that you went through something bad in the past. You need to understand that whatever it is, it won't make me change my mind about you. About how I feel about you."

Although my crying had settled a bit while Edward was talking, it had intensified when he stopped.

"Edward," I sputtered. "You're wrong."

I heard him shift closer to me, closing our distance. "No, I'm right. And I think you know that too."

"You're making a big mistake." I shook my head, trying as hard as I could to just get him to go away before my heart takes over. And I take it all back.

"I'd be making a big mistake if I let you do this. If I walk out right now. And I won't." Edward argued, and I heard the firmness in his voice. It was just what I needed.

I managed to pull my head back slightly out of my hands, but still looking down at them.

"Edward, there's so much you don't know. So much you don't understand. I'm trying to _help_ you." I tried to explain.

"Help me what, Bella?" Edward growled with frustration. "Are you trying to help me stop thinking about you? Or are you trying to help me work on how I can breathe when you're around? Or maybe you're trying to help me control how hard I'm falling for you? Tell me, how do you think you're helping me?"

This was everything I could've wanted from someone. Edward _was _everything I wanted. And right now, as I was pushing him away, he wouldn't take it.

He wouldn't let me go.

My every thought of giving Edward up was crushed now.

I slowly looked up at him, not caring how terrible I would look. It wouldn't have been any better than I had before.

"Edward." I began gently, trying not to strengthen his frustration. "I'm not normal. I'm not like any other girl. I'm not even a complete person, and it's not fair to you."

His frustration hadn't subsided when he answered me. "Bella, don't you get it? You aren't normal, and you aren't like any other girl I've ever met in my entire life. You're perfect. And what's not fair is what you're doing to me. Why you're pushing me away like you don't even give a shit. Is that it?"

_What? How could he even think that? _ I thought, and then realized that's what I was putting off.

"No, that's not it." My eyes widened at seeing the pain on his face. "That's not even close to being it. I don't know what I'm doing."

I looked back down at my trembling hands, not ready for what would come next.

"Then tell me. Tell me exactly what you want to tell me." Edward's voice lost the firmness and was back to being gentle and calming. "And don't think about anything. I want to hear exactly what you want to say without holding back."

I hesitated, not knowing if I should go with it. I gazed back at Edward, and he was just as nervous as I was. But I had to do this.

"I'm terrified, Edward. I've never felt this close to anyone before. And I have been through something really tragic in the past. I still haven't gotten over it, and I never will. But after what happened, it's made me believe that I don't deserve anything good. And I don't, I know that. But then you come along and make everything so… _right_. You make me feel like I'm an actual person, not just a soulless girl living a lie. Everything I worked so hard for, changing my life over, you've stopped it. And as much as I hated living like I had shackles on with a boulder on my back, I couldn't give it up. It wouldn't be fair. But now, I have no idea. I wanted to push you away, but you still haven't budged. Just you sitting here makes me understand that pushing you away is effortless. And I don't _want_ to do it anymore. I don't want to live like this. I don't want to punish myself for everything. I don't to wake up every day wishing I hadn't. And Edward, I don't want us to be over. I want _you_."

My tears were falling down my face as I gazed into his eyes. Edward was slightly frowning, but the passionate look in his eyes was setting my heart on fire.

I waited for him to answer. To comment on my psychotic rambling. But he spoke with his body instead. He lifted up his hand, softly stroking my cheek. All the air left my body, and my eyes fluttered as I felt the spark with his touch.

Edward slowly leaned in, softly placing his lips on mine. It wasn't passionate as our others had been, but it was one that I'd always remember.

With that one kiss, I knew that Edward and I were meant to be. That we would be together.

And that nothing could ever break us apart again.

No more pushing away. No more harboured thoughts. No more holding back.

Just Edward.

And with that kiss, I also knew something else.

I was in love with Edward Cullen.

**EPOV**

I didn't know what to say to Bella. I mean, she basically poured herself out to me. And it was the first time it'd ever happened too, so I was overwhelmed. I had no idea what I would say to her, so I just kissed her instead. And I wanted to _so bad_. The taste of Bella on my lips was something I missed the last few days. From her reaction, it seemed as if she wanted the same.

We needed each other.

So after our short kiss, I just held her. I mean, shit, I didn't want anything else but to have her in my arms. I didn't care that she had been pushing me away from her. I just knew that she felt the same way for me as I did for her. Nothing else mattered.

But there were a few things that were troubling me.

The one thing that bothered me the most was that she mentioned waking up every day and wishing that she hadn't. It sickened me that she thought of something so terrible like that. No one should ever have to want something like that, ever.

Bella's sobbing had stopped and she held on to me just as tight as I was holding on to her. She had her arms wrapped around my sides and settled her head in the nook between my head and shoulder. I could hear her breathing slowly go back to normal and the tension in her body ease.

I lifted my hand up and delicately put it through her hair, moving it away from her face as well. I wasn't exactly sure how long we'd been sitting there as I heard her sigh, but I assumed it was late by how dark it was outside.

"Don't go. Please." Bella pleaded in a raspy whisper, and I nodded my head.

"I'm not going anywhere," I told her. "I promise." There was nowhere else I'd rather be.

There was a soft knock on the door and I faced it to see Alice slowly walk in. The look on her face was pure worry after seeing Bella, and I didn't really know what to say. I just looked at her with pursed lips as I waited.

"Hey Bells," Alice said. "How're you feeling?"

Bella took one arm from my side and wiped her face with her hand. "Better now."

She looked up at me and I returned with a small smile.

"That's great." Alice responded. "So now there are a few other things we need to take care of."

Bella and I both looked back at Alice simultaneously, wondering what she was talking about. And before we could ask, she answered.

"First off, you need to eat."

My eyes shot open as I remembered my phone call with Alice. She had asked if I could bring over some takeout from their favourite Chinese place on my way. And she mentioned how Bella hadn't been eating properly. Well, more like at all really.

I felt Bella squirm, and I knew she was going to disagree with Alice.

"Alice is right. Come on, I brought enough for all of us." I said before she could answer Alice, getting up and bringing her with me. She was clearly too tired to protest.

The three of us went down to the kitchen and Bella sat down as Alice and I took out the food. The two of us stole glances at Bella as we were though, and it looked like she was in her own world the whole time.

I couldn't help wondering what she was thinking about.

**BPOV**

This was it.

After all the pushing and denying, I gave in.

I gave in to Edward.

It still felt a little unrealistic. I mean, this was something that I'd dreamed about. Being with Edward forever, that is. But it was something that I couldn't admit to wanting, because I was scared of what I'd think of myself after it.

But now, it was all over. I was finally going to be with Edward again. And there would be nothing else that could tear me away from him now.

But there was still one big problem.

_Me._

That moment with Edward made me realize how unstable I was. That I didn't want to feel like I had before. The feeling of being scared to admit something. Of being spontaneous with my own thoughts. Of pulling back before I could give in.

Of feeling so horrible that it gave me not only emotional but _physical_ pain.

Alice's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Do you want some more Bella?" Alice asked me.

I hadn't realized that I had finished all of my food. I was extremely hungry, so while I was off in my own thoughts my stomach must've acted on impulse.

I shook my head. "No thanks."

It was then that the door opened and Rosalie walked in, shopping bags in hand. Though they fell when she saw me sitting at the table. And her jaw did the same when she saw Edward sitting beside me.

"Bella!" She said breathlessly. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I answered again as I had the last time I was asked that. Though it was a bit of a lie. I assumed Edward sensed that too as I felt his hand intertwine with mine under the table, giving me a reassuring squeeze as well.

I looked up at his beautiful green eyes and gave whatever form of a smile I could. Though it wasn't much, he returned mine with his gorgeous, crooked smile.

Alice got up to clear the table, and help Rosalie up the stairs with her bags. Also to give Edward and I a moment, I figured.

"So, how are you _really_ feeling?" Edward asked me as they went upstairs.

"Tired." I sighed. "It's been pretty rough the last couple of days."

Edward nodded his head, looking at me sympathetically. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

I squinted, realizing what he'd meant. I knew what I had been through, but what he went through was probably worse.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, feeling myself blush as well.

Edward brought up his hand that wasn't intertwined with mine and gently stroked my cheek.

"Don't apologize. But can we figure out some sort of compromise about this?"

I gulped, and my heart began to race.

_Compromise._

Great.

So, I was afraid. More like terrified, actually. But like I had mentioned before, I was frustrated with holding back. And I couldn't do that to Edward anymore, either.

I nodded my head, scared of what I would say if I had opened my mouth instead.

"This goes for the both of us." Edward continued. "If there's something you've got on your mind. And that means anything. Just please, tell me. I'd rather hear it then be sitting in the dark like a moron."

I breathed out loudly as I realized that his compromise wasn't as bad as I'd expected it to be. But it was hard, nonetheless.

"Deal." I replied, giving his hand a squeeze in return.

Edward glanced over at the clock, sighing as he'd taken it what time it was.

"It's getting pretty late." He said as he turned back to face me and smiled. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing really." I shrugged and smiled back at him. "Did you have something in mind?"

"I did." Edward responded. "Lunch tomorrow? I'll pick you up around say, noon? It'll give you time to sleep in."

I nodded my head in agreement. I had a lot of sleep to catch up on.

Edward smiled and sat up from his seat, pulling me with him as he walked to the door. He opened it and turned back to me, leaning in for a soft kiss.

I missed our more passionate kisses, but I'd have to deal with the gentle ones he'd been giving me today. I probably looked extremely fragile to him then, so I'd have to work on it.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Edward said softly as he pulled away, unlinking his hand from mine. And immediately, I missed his touch.

"Tomorrow." I whispered back.

He leaned in again for another short kiss, as if he'd been feeling just as I had, and then turned to walk out of the door.

I closed the door and sighed. My mind was flooded with so many thoughts, I couldn't even think straight.

I wanted to be with Edward. _So bad._

But I didn't like who I was right now. All the hesitation and negative thoughts. And I didn't like the recent thoughts of offing myself either.

I turned around and made my way up to Rosalie's bedroom where she was with Alice. The two of them were looking over Rosalie's new purchases. As I walked in, they immediately stopped and shifted to face me.

"I need to talk to you guys about something." I admitted, feeling my hands trembling from my nerves.

"Sure Bella, what is it?" Rosalie asked and Alice nodded her head.

I took in a deep breath and let it out loudly.

"I need help."

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**LOVE LOVE LOVE! She loves him. =) Not only that, but she's admitting she needs help too! Yayyyyy**


	19. Chapter 19 PDA

**You guys know what PDA means... right? Muahahhaha!  
Bow chicka wow wow, comin' right up!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**EPOV**

I was on my way to pick up Bella the next morning for our date, extremely nervous of course. Yeah, I already knew that Bella and I were together and whatever, but still. Just being around her gave me butterflies. And I'm being way too feminine, I know. But it's true.

I made plans for a nice day together, just the two of us. And I knew that we both needed it. A little bit of relaxation, as well as intimacy of course. We were both lacking that the last few days. And, I don't know about Bella, but I was missing it way too much.

I took the elevator up to the girls' loft and knocked on the door.

"It's open!" I heard Rosalie call.

I smirked and opened the door before softly closing it behind me. "You know, you should at least ask who's at the door. I could've been some serial rapist coming in for a piece."

Rosalie threw her head back and laughed. "Right. Any serial rapist would know better than come up here and try to get a piece of me. I'd beat his ass before he tried."

As I laughed at Rosalie's comment, I heard Bella's familiar laughter as well and gazed over to see her ascending down the stairs. She looked gorgeous, as usual. Her top was sleeveless, showing off her arms and the lower neckline gave me a good view of her neck and collarbone. She carried herself much better than she had the night before, probably due to finally catching up on some sleep.

_God, she's so beautiful._

Bella walked over to me, and I met her halfway. I snaked my one hand down her lower back with the other settling on the back of her neck as I leaned in for a kiss. Her lips were so soft, and so sweet. I felt her hands go around my back as she returned my kiss before they were broken off by Rosalie clearing her throat rather loudly.

"You two are making me sick." She said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. "Seriously, get out before I do."

I smiled at Rosalie and took Bella's hand in mine as we made our way out of the door.

**BPOV**

Shit, Edward looks so damn good. And all the time. How the hell is that even possible?

A simple jeans and t-shirt would never get to me, but it did when it was on Edward. It seemed as if anything he put on his body would be turned into pure art. And it constantly took my breath away.

He opened the door to his car for me and closed it once I had sat in. Edward was always such a gentleman. When he sat in his seat he turned the key, releasing the sound of the engine as it roared to life. Once we were on the road, I reached over and intertwined my hand with his.

"So, what's the plan for today Mr. Cullen?" I asked, arching my eyebrow for effect. Knowing Edward, I knew he wouldn't let me in on whatever he had planned. But I figured I might as well try to get something out of him.

"Well, Miss Swan, you'll unfortunately have to be patient and just wait and see." Edward grinned.

I slouched back into my seat and pouted. I slyly gazed at Edward to see if I made any change. Did I get anything? Nope. Edward wasn't budging.

"So, did everything go okay last night?" Edward asked me. I stiffened, remembering what had went on after he'd left.

"I slept, if that's what you're asking." I half-admitted, not wanting to go into any further detail. I was still embarrassed of having told the girls that I needed to get professional help. It took a lot coming clean with Rosalie and Alice, but I was a wreck thinking of how I could with Edward. And how he'd react.

Edward sighed. "That is part of what I was asking, but I know that you had other things on your mind."

_Damn it._

Edward was just as intuitive as the girls. I really wished that Emmett and Jasper weren't as similar to their other brother, because I couldn't take all the intuitiveness from so many people. It was driving me a little crazy.

"Yeah, I did." I said to him as I looked out the window, not wanting to see his face.

"So?" He asked. I was wondering why he was so curious today, considering how he never exactly was before. That is, until I remembered our compromise last night. Great, now I was bounded. I took in a deep breath before I spoke.

"Edward, there's so much going on right now. And I know that I promised last night, but there are just some things that I need to take slower." I explained in the best way that wouldn't possibly hurt his feelings.

When I turned back to face him, my hopes of a positive explanation were crushed. His face was emotionless, as if he were holding any emotion from it to keep me from getting upset. I sighed and placed my free hand on our linked ones and squeezed gently.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I apologized, whispering softly. "I really am. I know that this is hard for you, but I'm trying. But I do promise you that I _will_ tell you everything. Soon. I just need a little bit of time."

I gazed down at our hands and softly stroked his with one of my thumbs. Edward pulled his hand up to his face with mine and kissed the back of my hand delicately before setting it back down to where it had been before.

"Please don't apologize." He said as he stopped the car and turned on his side to face me. "Don't get me wrong, I want to know. But I'll give you all the time that you need."

I nodded and brought myself forward to kiss him, running my hand up from his shoulder into his untamed, soft hair. I was definitely longing for Edward, more than I had been for anyone in my entire life. The feeling was new, and it was unbearable. And I was a little frustrated because he was treating me as if I was a piece of glass recently. Our kiss started to become more passionate, neither of us resisting our urges. During a brief moment where our lips had parted, I let my tongue softly drift on his top lip. I had to control myself when I heard Edward's faint moan.

"You need to stop doing that." Edward groaned into my neck as he began kissing it delicately.

"Why?" I asked in a raspy whisper. I hoped that I wasn't being too forward, but I couldn't help it. Especially when I was with Edward.

"Because you're driving me crazy, Bella." Edward chuckled hoarsely as he pulled himself away from my neck. "And because if you keep doing it, I won't be able to walk you into the restaurant."

I unconsciously gazed over to his lap, blushing when I saw the evident bulge in his jeans. It wasn't necessarily from embarrassment, but I was more astonished that I could make Edward feel like that.

Plain old Bella Swan could turn Edward Cullen on.

Who knew?

"Sorry." Edward admitted, running his hand through his hair nervously. I caught it before he brought it down.

"Don't be." I said and smiled at him. "Should we go?"

Edward smiled and nodded before getting out, letting us both into the restaurant.

**EPOV**

The food at the restaurant was unbelievable. I'd heard some great reviews of the place, and I was more than glad that they were right on. It'd be brutal if I brought Bella here for our first real date and we had a bad time.

So far, so good anyways. And it was good even before we made it into the restaurant. Bella's soft touch sent shocks throughout my body, not to mention how turned on she made me. To be honest, I was glad that my evident hard-on didn't make her uncomfortable. Man, I couldn't help it though. I felt it coming when she started to kiss me, but when she fucking _licked_ me? Dear God, I couldn't control myself.

I gazed over at Bella as she was finishing her dessert. She looked so much better than she had before. The glow was back in her face and the light in her eyes were returning.

It would've made me feel better, if only I didn't have this weird feeling in the back of my mind. I'll be honest, I didn't like not knowing about her past and what had happened. But I definitely wasn't going to push it out of her. I wanted her to tell me when she was comfortable, of course. Why wouldn't I? But still, I wanted to know soon before I spontaneously combusted.

_Fucking mixed feelings._

They were driving me insane. I wanted to know, but I would wait. I didn't want to wait too long though, because of how much I wanted to know.

I felt Bella's smooth thumb run over my forehead. "What're you thinking about?" She asked me, and I hadn't even realized I'd been frowning.

"Nothing, really." I lied, not wanting her to know how I really felt. Even though it was going against our compromise. God, I'm such a moron.

Bella raised an eyebrow at me and I sighed, deciding against what I'd done.

"Okay, so maybe it's nothing. I'm just thinking about you, and what this thing that happened to you in the past is about. And yeah, I said I would wait, but I just can't help wondering."

Bella moved her hand and grazed my cheek with the outside of her fingertips.

"I'm not being fair to you, I know." She said softly, and I could hear the sorrow in her voice. "And I don't blame you for being curious. But if I were the type of person that had told everyone, I would've told you a long time ago. Edward, the only people that know here are Rosalie and Alice. And it took me a while to tell them too. What had happened is really, _really_ painful. And I need to find my own way to tell you, and at the right time."

I reached up and took her hand, bringing it to my lips. "I understand. I'm sorry for acting like this though, but it's really just all new to me. I've never been in this kind of situation."

I saw her eyes shoot open and sadness engulf in them. I instantly understood why, knowing that she'd misunderstood what I'd said.

"No, don't take it like that." I said hastily. "I just mean that I'm not sure how to really handle myself, you know? I've never been in a relationship where I've felt so passionate about someone. And at the same time, I've never been with someone that has had a traumatic past. It's just difficult to know how to act."

Her body's tension eased and I felt her relax as she nodded her head.

"Trust me, this is all new to me too." Bella said softly. "I haven't been in a relationship for a long time, but I've never felt the way I do about you with anyone else. It's like I'm starting all over again. But I don't want you to be uncomfortable. And I don't want you to over think what to say or do when you're around me. I just want you to be _you_, no matter what's going on with me."

Before I could answer, Bella leaned in and pushed her lips against mine. It wasn't like our kiss back in the car, but it meant just as much. I knew she wanted to tell me that even though there were endless things going on, she was okay. And I understood that she knew I was being pretty gentle with her since last night. In my defense, I only did it because I didn't want to go too far with her so soon. I didn't want to come off like a douche, wanting her body more than her. That wasn't me, and that wasn't what I wanted. Plus, I thought that she wasn't stable enough to be so close to me like that.

I returned her kiss, knowing she'd know that I understood what she meant. And I pulled one of Bella's infamous pouts when she pulled away, resulting in her laughter.

"People are staring." She whispered, blushing. I leaned back into our kiss, not caring.

"Let them." I mumbled against her lips.

My hand went to the back of her neck as our kiss continued, slowly becoming more fervent. Her fingers trailed along my thigh, slowly creeping up the bottom of my shirt as I felt her touch on my lower abs.

"Edward." Bella breathed out between a kiss, and I knew that we needed to get out of there. I drew back, keeping my eyes locked with Bella's, and signaled the waiter for the check. Once I'd signed and paid, she hopped up from her chair eagerly at the same time as I had.

I sat in my car and closed my door after doing the same for Bella before she wrapped her hand on the back of my neck, resuming our kiss from the restaurant. I kissed her back just as passionately, softly sliding my tongue on her bottom lip. I heard her beautiful sounding moan, and instantly felt myself get hard again.

"Edward," Bella whispered lowly as she pulled away for air. "I want you."

I gave her one final, long kiss before putting my car into gear and pushing hard on the gas.

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**Drive, Edward! DRIVE!**


	20. Chapter 20 Alive

**Alright, for those of you who missed this, C&P is rated M. And by M, I mean NC-17, since FFn doesn't allow the M we call smut. So if ya don't like it, then skip it. And if you're under 18... then please don't tell me you are. I'd like to know that I'm not tainting young children, thank you very much.  
Let the sexin' begin!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just add smut in with her characters. =)**

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**BPOV**

The butterflies in my stomach were swarming.

I wanted Edward so bad, it was giving me physical pain. And just the fact that he wasn't pulling back or treating me any differently like he had been was just adding onto my need for him.

I couldn't keep still throughout the whole drive, not really caring about where we were headed exactly. I just wanted to be _with_ him, no matter where we were. His hand was clutched with mine as he drove, and I couldn't help but steal glances at him whenever I could. Which was more like constantly, really.

Edward stopped the car, and I recognized the building. He brought me to his condo.

_Do I really want to do this?_

My thoughts were raving. Yes, I did want to be intimate with Edward. God, I've never been sure of something in my entire life. But at the same time, I was scared. Terrified, really. I wasn't sure how I would handle myself, considering I'd never done something like this before. It was a new experience and, as with all new experiences, I was nervous.

But just looking at him now, as he held my door open for me, I knew my answer.

I _did_ want to do this.

And I had no more doubts.

We entered the elevator, and I immediately threw my arms around his neck. Our lips had been separated for too long, and I felt goose bumps emerge at the contact. I twirled my fingers into his hair, softly pulling to let him know how much I needed him. Edward's hands answered by wrapping themselves around me, and his fingers slowly started moving under the hem of my shirt. I gasped at bare skin on skin contact, not prepared for the feeling it'd give me. But I couldn't help but want more.

The elevator door opened, though I still couldn't get myself to let go of Edward. And neither could he. He lifted me up effortlessly and I hooked my legs around him, closing any space between us. I heard the door open and close immediately as Edward continued to lead me into his condo. Our lips were still connected and moving together until I felt myself being laid down, and opened my eyes to realize that we were in Edward's room. Edward broke away, breathing heavily.

"Bella." His voice was hoarse, and his lips were glossy from the lipstick Alice had put on me. "If this is too fast – "

I stopped Edward before he could finish, pulling myself up and back into our kiss. As I was pushing myself further onto the bed, I set my arm on the back of Edward's neck guiding him as well. Relishing our moment, I couldn't bring myself to let go of him.

I hooked my fingers underneath his shirt and began to pull it up slowly as he shrugged it off. I rose up slightly so he could do the same, shivering at the contact of our skin again. It was nothing like I had experienced, and nothing like I'd expected. As Edward gently set me on my back again, I took in everything at that moment.

Edward's body was perfectly sculpted like a God. I traced my fingers from his chest down to his lower abs and heard him gasp at the contact. I looked back up to his face and melted even more than I had before. His green eyes were always breathtaking, but now they were darker and more striking. And absolutely passionate.

Edward leaned back down and began kissing my jaw line down to my neck eagerly. I shut my eyes, wanting to feel every part of what he was doing to me and bit my bottom lip. Edward continued to kiss me lower and lower until he reached my stomach, and I felt his delicate fingers latch onto the waist of my jeans. I couldn't resist looking down at Edward as he continued to work the button on my jeans and slowly pull them down, locking his eyes with mine. My breathing hitched as he continued to kiss me back up, just as slowly as he had before.

He was teasing me. And I couldn't stand it.

I brought myself back up again, warping my hands around his neck and continued to kiss him fervently. As I did, I removed one of my hands and attempted to undo his button though it was unsuccessful. I heard Edward chuckle softly and take my hand in one of his.

"In a hurry, are we?" He asked me, his lips still touching mine as he spoke. "Hold on."

I looked at him questionably and then he was gone, leaving me sitting on the bed alone and cold already. But before I knew it, he was back. Minus the pants, and a small wrapper in his hands.

"Can never be too safe." Edward said as he held up the wrapper. I sighed in relief, having not realized about protection throughout everything. Then again, my brain was barely even working properly so I wasn't all that surprised.

I outstretched my hand, palm facing up, wanting him back with me. Edward gave me his beautiful, crooked smile before taking my hand in his and leaning over me again.

I could've kissed him for an eternity, and still wanted more. The feeling of being so close and so intimate with Edward was throwing me in a frenzy, and I wanted nothing more but to have this feeling with every waking moment of my life. Being with Edward like this gave me another feeling that I had been lost without for years. Being with Edward made me breathe normally, think properly, and have no questioning thoughts. I could be who I wanted to be, and not worry about what others or my conscience would think of me. I could live without hesitation. I could make choices without basing them on what would look better to others and what I believed I deserved. I could be the person my mother and father always wanted me to be.

I was whole again.

I felt my eyes sting with upcoming tears as I reveled in my new grasp at life.

At my new life.

With Edward.

And I knew. I _knew_ what I was feeling.

I was in love with Edward.

Completely. Entirely. Wholly.

In _love_.

Letting my heart control me for once, I reached up and set my hand on Edward's cheek when he slightly pulled away. His eyes broke into me, and I could see the love in them. I could see ourselves together in the many years to come, and our love growing as we did.

"Bella." Edward whispered softly as he set his hand on mine, leaning his head gently into them. "I love you."

My tears fell at those three words.

Edward loved me.

And real, pure love.

Just as my parents did.

I never knew I would feel as I did at that moment. It was as if the pain of losing my parents had evaporated, and I could feel their presence within me. As if they had never left, and they were just as proud of me now as they'd ever been. As if I'd never lost them, and never felt the excruciating pain of it.

"I love you too." I choked out between a sob. "So much, Edward."

Edward tilted his head back towards mine, kissing underneath my eyelids where my tears had fallen before kissing my mouth again. I could taste my fresh tears on his lips, which sent more to fall. His hands linked to the front of my bra and unhooked the clasp. As he did, I gently pushed his briefs lower hearing him hiss as the air hit his hardness. Edward leaned back again, latched his fingers onto my panties and delicately pulled them down. His breathing was deep and short, just as mine was. As he dropped the remaining pieces of our undergarments to the ground, he ran his eyes up and down my body from the short distance.

"Beautiful." Edward whispered and ran his hand from my ankle up to my inner thigh before settling it on the outside of it. He kissed my lips again with adoration and I returned with just as much. I heard the condom wrapper rip open before he put it on, and I awaited what would be coming next.

Edward continued to kiss me, and then he moved from my lips down to the nook of my neck. I felt him slowly push himself into me and I gasped at the feeling. It was painful at first and I bit my lip in reaction to it. But Edward was very slow and gentle. I gradually felt the pain disappear and be replaced by absolute pleasure. He continued to rock into me, and I could hear his deep breathing in my ear. I wrapped my hands around them and settled them into his shoulder blades as he pressed into me continuously.

"Edward." I moaned in utter bliss of being with him as I was at that moment. Edward brought his head up from my neck and I could see the droplets of sweat on his forehead. He gazed at me shortly before locking my mouth back with his with just as much passion as before.

Edward began to move slightly faster and my breathing hitched with every sensation it brought. He brought his head back a bit to gaze at me and I couldn't help but gaze back. I wanted to watch him, to have this image of us together embedded in my mind forever.

I could feel myself getting closer as he continued rocking into me and I matched my hips with his. Our sounds grew louder as we were both getting close. I shuddered as I lost control and felt my muscles clench around him. My nails dug into him and I heard his last deep groan as he followed.

We were both panting immensely, but wouldn't lose the chance of missing our touch again. Edward pulled back from kissing my neck and connected our lips again gently. He moved off of me as he removed his covers slightly and pulled me towards him, covering us as he did. I wrapped my hands around his waist again, setting my head in between his neck and shoulder. It felt like two pieces to a puzzle, Edward and I.

"That was… incredible." I breathed as my heartbeat went back down at a normal pace.

"It was more than incredible." Edward answered, chuckling softly.

I pushed myself closer to him, not wanting there to be any inch of space between us.

"I love you, Bella." Edward whispered before pressing his lips to my forehead tenderly.

"I love you too, Edward." I whispered back. And I knew.

I knew I loved Edward.

And I knew I was loved.

And finally, _finally_, I was whole again.

I was alive.

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**Cue the sighing and swooning...**


	21. Chapter 21 Cat And Mouse

**So, that was actually the first lemon I had ever written back in the day. Sigh... oh, the newbie times. Hell, still a newbie (kind of) now, but you know what I mean.  
Anyways, hope you enjoyed that lemon of love. Here's to a whole lot more!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Life would've been much better if I had thought of that...**

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**EPOV**

To say I was in complete bliss would be an understatement.

I was lying in my bed, with the most beautiful and amazing girl in my arms. Seriously, it felt like a dream. I was expecting it to take months for Bella and me to get where we were now, but I was definitely not expecting _this_.

Being with Bella was… You know, there's really no word out there for it. Let's say it was fucking unbelievable and mind blowing. Plus a few other adjectives, but you get my drift.

Even now, just holding her and hearing her every breath made me think I was dreaming. I thought she had fallen asleep until I felt her soft fingers graze my chest.

"Are you planning on keeping me in your bed all day?" She giggled, and I held her tighter.

"If I could, I would." I sighed. "But unfortunately, my brothers will be home soon and it won't help us if we're still in bed."

Bella shifted to hold herself up on one elbow and replaced her hand on my chest with her chin. She cocked her eyebrow at me, and I immediately had to control myself before I took her again. Bella was way too gorgeous for her own good. And it was never to my benefit, of course.

"So, what now?" Bella asked.

"Whatever you want." I shrugged. I wasn't sure what she wanted to do exactly, and I had no plans anyways. I was still under some sort of post-sex high, so I just wanted to do anything that would involve Bella.

"Well," she began coyly. "Our last dinner with everyone didn't turn out as great as I'd planned."

"Dinner it is." I smiled, pushing away a stray lock of hair from her face. "I'll call Emmett and Jasper."

Bella smiled and nodded her head. She began to get up from her spot before I flipped her over onto her back and hovered over her.

"And where do you think you're going?" I asked before leaning down and kissing her neck softly. I felt Bella shudder from underneath me before she spoke.

"Home." Bella choked out. "It's late already. There's a lot to do, you know."

I hummed in response, not wanting to part my lips with her skin. The things Bella did to me. God, I couldn't even begin to explain. Even just now, with her lying under me just as she'd been a few moments before. I had to use every ounce of my power not to relive them again. I didn't want to go too fast with her, so it wouldn't be right to have sex with her again now. Still, I continued to kiss her neck before moving up her jaw.

"Edward." Bella whispered and I felt her warm hands on my chest, attempting to push me off though with no success. I set my lips on hers, slowly moving them as she did.

I wanted her.

**BPOV**

Fuck, this was better than I thought. And I couldn't bear to leave now.

But no, I had to. Yes, sex with Edward was incredible and I couldn't wait to do it again. But, if we were to have dinner tonight, I had to get up and moving. It was probably around 4, and that gave me a short amount of time to work with. Not only did I have to get ready, but I had to prep dinner too.

Damn you Edward and your charming, seductive ways.

As much as I loved kissing Edward, I'd have to continue it later. I cupped my hands around his cheeks and slowly pushed his lips back.

"Edward," I began, trying to sound firm though my hoarse voice didn't do much for it. "There's a lot to do, and it's late as it is. You do realize that I will be feeding _the_ Emmett Cullen tonight."

Success. Edward moved back, slightly pouting. Though he couldn't keep up the act when he began to chuckle.

"You're right. You have a lot on your hands." He agreed and rolled off of me, lying back down on his side beside me.

I smiled and nodded, then sat up still clutching onto the covers. I threw my legs over to the side of the bed, and looked over my shoulder to sneak a peek at naked Edward again. Unfortunately, he was still in that same spot on his bed.

"Are you planning on putting some clothes on, or are you driving me home stark naked?" I asked, smirking at the image of the second choice. We'd sure grab some attention.

Edward laughed and ran his hand through his tousled, perfect hair. "Actually, I just wanted to watch you get dressed first."

_Damn. He even thought of it before I did._

I blushed, and threw my pillow at him. "Perv," I mumbled, before realizing a better comeback. Edward clearly hadn't thought this through much, because my undergarments were right at the foot of the bed.

Easy reach. No exposure.

I gazed back over my shoulder, attempting to give him some sort of sexy, mischievous look. And it clearly worked as I noticed Edward's jaw slightly drop after gulping. I reached down slowly and picked up my panties, putting them on after lifting them up with one hand so Edward could see. Following through, I stood up with my back still facing him and slowly reached down again to pick up my bra. I presented it to him again and put it on so that the straps were still hanging but I had locked it in the front already. I smiled to myself again as I could hear Edward's deep breathing behind me. My comeback definitely worked, but now it was time to seal the deal.

I turned around to face Edward and had to control myself from laughing as I took in his current state. Those emerald green orbs of his darkened in lust and desire, lips parted slightly. His one hand was clutching onto his hair tightly and the other one was doing the same but with the comforter. To end off my comeback, I kept my eyes locked with his and put my arms through the straps. Before speaking, I took my time watching him as he clearly was too beaten to do anything.

"You've watched me get dressed now." I told him playfully. "Now it's your turn."

If only I knew what I was in for.

In a split second, Edward's grave expression turned into my once mischievous one. Before I managed to counter what he was about to do, he threw the covers off from him and got up from the bed. His eyes kept on mine, and I managed to do the same. Though I couldn't help but gaze down at his glorious body a couple times. Okay, maybe more than a couple, but it was completely involuntary.

Okay, so I did it on purpose.

Edward was walking towards me and before I knew it, I had backed up far enough to be stopped by the wall. Edward took advantage of my position and pinned me to it by settling his hands on each side of my head.

"Who's the perv now?" He asked me softly and I could feel my knees almost give out from underneath me. I couldn't manage an answer being pinned up between the wall and Edward. Feeling Edward's clear arousal on me. Smelling his delicious scent.

I was seriously in trouble.

Before my inner control failed, Edward backed off from me and made his way to his drawer. I let out a deep breath, not realizing that I'd been holding my breath the whole time. He picked out some briefs and put them on before picking up the rest of my clothing from the ground.

"Are you planning on putting some clothes on?" Edward asked teasingly. "Or are you planning on letting me drive you home in your underwear?"

Note to self: Never play with Edward Cullen.

He doesn't play fair.

When Edward dropped me home, I immediately felt empty again without him. Our afternoon together was one that I'd remember forever, and I missed it already. However, I had to shake those feelings off because I had a dinner to plan.

I walked into the loft, breathing a sigh of relief as I noticed Rosalie and Alice both sitting in the lounge. Now it was just hoping that they hadn't made any prior plans. They both turned as I walked in and greeted me as I set down the grocery bags from my trip with Edward on the kitchen counter.

"That's a lot of food you've got there, Bells." Rosalie stated, raising her eyebrow questioningly. "Are we having guests over tonight?"

"Actually, yes." I smiled as I admitted tonight's plans. "The boys are coming over in a few hours. So the three of us need to hustle."

Unfortunately, the only response I got from them were angry screams. Clearly, they weren't happy.

"Bella!" I heard Alice's voice over Rosalie's. "How could you do this to us? We can't get everything ready in a couple hours!"

"Sorry!" I apologized quickly as I understood their predicament. "It sort of just, happened. You two go shower first and I'll prepare the food until you're both out."

Luckily for me, I didn't get any further screaming. Rosalie and Alice settled down and looked at each other momentarily before running up the stairs. Breathing yet another sigh of relief, I headed over to the kitchen and started preparing tonight's meal. I didn't have much time to work with, so I stuck with chicken alfredo for dinner and vanilla banana parfaits for dessert.

As I heard the showers stop, I finished up and made my way to get ready. Before entering the shower, I had a few things running through my mind. Of course, I had to tell Rosalie and Alice what had happened earlier with Edward. I mean, it was obvious that they were curious. They just didn't have time to ask me when I'd told them of our later dinner with the boys. Anyways, I had to tell them. So when I was in the shower and heard them come in to do their makeup, I took advantage of the opportunity.

"So," I started to explain, though I didn't really know how to start. "Something kind of happened today."

"Yeah?" I heard Alice answer before she somewhat clued in. "Wait, with Edward you mean?"

"Yeah." I said, still thinking of how I'd spill it.

_Yeah, Edward and I had sweet sweet sex. _

Nope.

_We made love, and it was mindblowing._

Uh, no.

_Edward and I did the dirty._

Dear God, who even says that?

"So what did you do that's got you speechless?" Rosalie asked, clearly impatient from waiting for me to answer. "I'm sure it's nothing unexpected like you two had sex or anything."

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Rosalie was too smart for her own good. Even when she didn't mean to.

I opened my mouth several times and closed it as I did, unsure of how to save myself from my new situation. It was too late.

"OH MY GOD! YOU FUCKING DID IT!" Rosalie screamed and I could see her come closer to the shower door. Scared of her rage, I held it shut.

"Rosalie, for the love of God, calm down!" I retorted, not wanting to have both girls see me in the nude. They had seen enough of me as it was.

"Bella!" Alice chirped up, clearly wanting her turn with me. "You and Edward had sex, and you didn't even tell us?"

"Excuse me, Alice Hale, but you didn't tell us about getting down with Jasper either until a few moments ago when you told me." Rosalie stated and it was now my turn to start freaking out.

"What? Alice, when did this happen?" This shower needed to end, soon. I rushed as I rinsed out my shampoo and finished off.

"Rosalie, you're such a bitch." Alice scoffed, though I could hear the playfulness in her voice. "So you won't mind when I tell Bella that you and Emmett already had sex too?"

"Seriously?" I yelled as I turned off the shower. I slightly opened the door to grab my towel and wrapped it around me as I exited the shower. "I had no idea my two best friends were such hypocrites."

Alice frowned and added a little pout, as if she wanted to kill me with her cuteness.

"Not fair." She pled, crossing her arms around her chest. "It's not like it happened a while ago. It was only this morning."

"Yeah. I had my own date with Emmett, and he took me out to this fancy restaurant. I brought him back here. Alice and Jasper had already done it, so they were just hanging in the lounge when we came in." Rosalie explained and I took in a deep breath to settle my nerves.

"It's true. We left when they came in. And when I got back, Rosalie was by herself. We were talking about it when you came in. Promise." Alice added sweetly.

I rubbed my forehead with my fingers, trying to ease the rising headache I felt. "Okay, fine. And I'm sorry too. I should've told you before, I just didn't know how to."

"Hey, I don't blame you." Rosalie said as she turned to the mirror, touching up her lipstick. "I could barely talk after seeing Emmett's junk. Not to mention trying to walk after it was in me."

"Ugh, Rosalie!" Alice squealed, scrunching up her face in disgust. "Let's leave out the details, shall we?"

I nodded in approval, though couldn't help but chuckle. Rosalie was way to blunt for her own good, but it eased the tension that had risen.

"Well, all I'm going to say is that Jasper was the best lay I've ever had. Ever." Alice added, leaning back on the bathroom counter.

"The Cullen boys sure are talented. I swear, I never thought Edward could be more gorgeous until I saw him naked. That right there is pure sex." I told them, though my mind was somewhere else. The image of Edward naked in my mind was making me ache for more of him.

"I miss him." Rosalie mumbled quietly, clearly not wanting us to hear it. And of course, we did. And in pure best friend fashion, we wouldn't let her live it down either.

"Has the day of reckoning come at last?" Alice exclaimed dramatically, flailing her arms in the air as she did. "_The_ Rosalie Hale, the Queen of Ice, expresses feeling for a mere human male?"

"No, tell me it isn't true!" I joined in, clasping my hands. It was impossible not to resist the opportunity. "Tell me it's all lies!"

Alice and I erupted in laughter as Rosalie was clearly furious from our skit.

"You know what?" Rosalie yelled loud enough to halt our laughter. "Fuck you. Fuck you both. Because guess what, I love him!"

If there was any laughter left between Alice and I, it was long gone now.

"Yes, you heard me." Rosalie continued, and I thought I could see a slight glisten in her eyes. "I love him, and he loves me too. And I know that I'm the biggest bitch and there are millions of people that disgust me, but I don't care. Because Emmett's the only person that can make me feel better than I felt I ever deserved. He treats me like a person, not as just some hot chick with a nice fucking rack. And you know what else? I want to _marry_ him! I can see my whole life with him already! And fuck, I'm scared. I'm so scared because I never expected myself to fall head over heels this bad over a guy I've known for a short time. And because he makes me feel like this. I've become some weak, emotional, love struck sap."

Rosalie's tears had begun to fall, and I was completely struck in shock. Never had I seen Rosalie cry, much less get teary-eyed. I did what came to my mind instantly, and held her tightly in my arms.

"Rosalie, you're not a sap. You're the same Rosalie you've been from day one. You're just unsure of how to act now that you're in love. And trust me, we're in the same boat. I know this all seems unreal and you're scared of what's going to come next, but if you don't try now then how will you ever know? Emmett treats you the way you deserve to be treated, and there's no one in the world that you'll find that's even as close to being like Emmett. Don't let your inner concerns ruin what you've got going for yourself now."

I heard Rosalie sniffle as she nodded her head into my shoulder before pulling away.

"Bella's right, Rose." Alice added in, softly stroking her sister's arm. "You're still a bitch, no matter who you're in love with. Now stop crying cause you're ruining your makeup."

Rosalie and I both laughed at Alice's humor, clearly setting the mood between us back the way it should've been.

We were all hopelessly in love. And it showed.

But now, as I was getting ready, I couldn't help but feel a sickly feeling in my stomach. And as much as I tried to push it away, it was still there.

If only I knew what that feeling really meant.

Unfortunately for me, I was going to find out later that night.

My life and body as I knew it was preparing itself for yet another blow.

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**Come on, did you seriously think I'd let the angst go that easily? Yeah, right!**


	22. Chapter 22 Dinner Part Two

**Okay, shit really starts to hit the fan now, so hold onto your horses!  
Just in case you've forgotten, all songs and outfits used in C&P are linked up on my profile. Check them out!  
Oh, and another thing - twitter. Have it? I do. husmcn is the twitter name, so come down and harass me! Haha, I kid. I'd prob harass you, just sayin'.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Not me... =(**

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**BPOV**

The three of us were so flustered with our short time that we completely forgot about our outfits. Since we had no time to go and buy some new outfits for our dinner tonight, we decided to strike it a little more casual than usual. I mean, we were all dating the boys already, so there wasn't much of a need to go all fancy like last time. Personally, I was happy with the decision. Rosalie and Alice may have loved dressing me up, but I would rather just wear something I'd be comfortable in.

So, it was settled. Alice had this adorable, white ruffled blouse and she paired it with her favourite black pants. I dug through my closet and found a white and black sleeveless tunic that went well with a pair of black, slim pants. And of course, Rosalie couldn't go too casual. So, she picked out this smokin' red tank top that showed an acceptable amount of cleavage. Acceptable to her, anyways.

Before I made my way downstairs, I did a last minute check in the bathroom mirror. I turned to leave, taking a few steps as I did, before I stopped and went back to face the mirror.

The girl looking back at me was beautiful, yet looked mysterious. There was a sense of curiosity that arose as I looked at her. And as I looked closer, I realized why I couldn't quite remember who it was. Of course, it was me. But it was who I'd always been.

Old Bella.

Now, I realized that there was no 'old' or 'new' Bella. There was always me.

I pushed myself away thinking that it would be to my benefit, but I was wrong. In every choice that I made, I was always there. The _real_ Bella was always there.

And now, as I looked at myself, I couldn't help but smile. I missed feeling like this. Feeling as if I could be myself and not worry about getting second glances from those around me. And it was then that I realized that _this_ was who my parents wanted to be. Not some girl who pushed everything and everyone away, but the person that I always was.

Yeah, my teenage self wasn't the greatest role model. But teenage Bella Swan did have her perks. She was headstrong, independent, talented and strong.

And now, as I looked back at my reflection, I knew who I was.

I was Bella Swan. A law student studying at NYU, and living with the two best friends only a girl could dream for. I was intelligent, determined and skillful. I could take my hand in the courtroom right now and without a doubt win my case without breaking a sweat. And most of all, I was in love.

And I couldn't have wanted anything else.

I felt a pang in my heart, knowing that I was missing the most vital piece of life.

My parents.

Without a doubt, my life would be complete if my mother and father were still alive. And I would've done anything to get them back in an instant. But I knew that there was nothing that I could do, but keep their memory alive in my heart. And that's what I would always do.

And now, I knew.

It was time to tell Edward.

Everything.

**EPOV**

We walked into the girls' condo, which was unlocked yet again. Seriously, they were just asking for some creep to come in here. Well, then again, Rosalie was right when I mentioned it last time. No creeper could stand a chance against her.

"Jasper!" Alice squealed and jumped into Jasper's arms. Jasper caught her swiftly and chuckled as she kissed him.

"Wow Jasper." Emmett said as he managed to stop his laughter. "If I knew you liked a welcome like Alice's so much, I would've done the same for you long ago."

"Welcome, yes. But if it were you, I'd be getting an early death instead." Jasper stated coolly as he set Alice back down on the ground.

Emmett shrugged and tried his hand with Rosalie instead. "Do I get some love too?"

"Uh, no you don't." Rosalie spat, crossing her arms around her chest in disapproval. "Rosalie Hale jumps on no one."

You would think that Emmett would've given up by now. But not the hardheaded Emmett I knew. Apparently he was trying his luck tonight. Or maybe he was trying to play with death, who knew?

"No one, huh? So was this morning an exception?" He asked slyly, cocking his eyebrow.

_Emmett, you are such a damn moron._

He was seriously asking for it.

"Emmett Cullen, you asshole!" Rosalie yelled before uncrossing her hands and then clenching them into fists. She took a couple steps towards Emmett before the possible tragedy ended.

"Hold it!" I heard Bella shouted from the steps and it froze Rosalie in place. Well, she may have been frozen, but she was still fuming. "What's going on?"

"Emmett is a jackass, that's what's wrong." Rosalie said, still obviously angry with Emmett considering she was giving him a look that would be acceptable as the look of death.

"Babe, I'm sorry." Emmett pleaded with his hands out, but wise enough to stay a safe distance away from the brooding blonde monster. "It sort of came out. I shouldn't have even said anything."

Rosalie mouth twitched slightly and she began to tap her foot impatiently. I gazed up at Bella, who was looking super hot tonight by the way, and shrugged. Emmett and Rosalie were both equally stubborn, so if we were waiting for some sort of forgiveness to occur then it'd be a long wait.

"Alright, so let's just calm down and take a breather." Bella told them both as she came down the steps. "The two of you can figure it out, but right now I'm sure everyone is starving. So let's eat."

Luckily, Bella's firmness worked and the girls headed off to the kitchen to get the food out. And as they did, we started to set the table.

Dinner was amazing. I was surprised at how delicious Bella's cooking was last time, but it was even better tonight. Not only was the food great, but the company was too. It seemed as if the food was settling right with Rosalie and Emmett because their bickering had ended, and I even caught a kiss between them. As we were eating, I linked my hand with Bella's throughout dinner. When I'd make a small joke, she'd lean in and give me a peck on the cheek. Or on the side of my neck. And dear God, I wanted her so bad. Yeah, it was cute. But it was turning me right on.

The three of us guys cleared the table as the girls brought out the dessert. Bella's parfaits were delicious. It made Emmett upset when he couldn't have seconds, and that erupted in our laughter. Leave it to Emmett to get upset over food. As everyone went into their own little conversations, I realized how little conversing Bella and I had done that night. I leaned back into my seat and looked over at her. She was already staring at me, and I smiled crookedly at her.

"And how was your afternoon, Mr. Cullen?" Bella asked coyly, lifting one of her gentle hands and running it over my cheek.

"My afternoon was incredible, Miss Swan." I answered her, playing her game as I did. "I went on a date with this girl. And, I even got to take her home with me."

"Really?" Bella gasped, acting shocked. "Well, she must be something then."

"Oh, she is. But she's more than just something." I said, slightly lowering my voice as well. "She's beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. Not to mention extremely kind and amazing. I've never met anyone like her."

Bella's breathing slightly hitched and I heard her gulp before she spoke. "She sounds great."

I chuckled at how flustered Bella was already but I enjoyed it too much to give it up already. I leaned in and whispered into her ear as I did. "She is. Edward Cullen doesn't just love anybody, you know."

I turned my head just enough to close the space between my lips and her neck. And as I did, Bella slightly gasped in surprise. I thought I was making her uncomfortable but before I had a chance to pull away from her, Bella's arm wrapped around my waist. And I knew that she wanted to be with me just as much as I did. We may have just been intimate once, but we clearly craved more.

"You look so gorgeous tonight." I whispered in between kisses, though my lips never really left her neck. "You have no idea how much you affect me."

I felt a slight heat rising from her, and I knew she was blushing. As much as I wanted to see how adorable she looked, I couldn't manage to pull myself away from her. It was almost unbearable how bad I wanted her.

"Edward." Bella breathed. "Will you stay over?"

When she asked me that question, I couldn't help but pull away this time. It was a pretty big question to ask, and I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't want it. Hell, there was nothing else I did want. But I would only stay if Bella really wanted me to, and if she were comfortable with it. So as I stared into her, I had my answer.

"Yes. That is, if you really want me to." I had to ask again, just in case. Bella nodded and I leaned in for a small kiss. "Then of course I will."

She looked up at me and smiled. I hadn't seen Bella smiling all that often before, and if it was it was one of those smiles that would never reach her eyes. But her smiles now were radiant and stunning. There was nothing more beautiful.

"Okay, I'm just going to put these glasses in the washer quickly." Bella said, grabbing a couple glasses as she sat up from her spot. The rest of us began to get up to help as well, but were waved back by Bella. "No, you guys sit. I'll be quick."

As she left the kitchen table, the doorbell rang. Which was strange, because as far as I knew the girls weren't expecting any other visitors. I looked over at Alice and Rosalie, who had a curious expression as well. The rest of us turned to face Bella, who was on her way to get the door as well.

"I'm closest, I'll get it." She announced over her shoulder. "I wonder who it could be."

I heard the sound of the door opening, followed by the shrill sounds of broken glass.

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**OH NO CLIFFIE! Who's behind the door? Bet you can't guess!**


	23. Chapter 23 Start All Over

**Like I said, shit has hit the fan and it's everywhere. Get ready for a shock explosion. Now we find out who was behind the door!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm not her, duh.**

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**BPOV**

_No._

No, this couldn't be happening to me.

Standing a few short feet in front of me was the one human being that had shattered my life in pieces, just as did the glass that fell from my hands.

I saw the face that had haunted many of my nightmares. The face that was the reason why my life had been ruined for years. And those eyes. The same eyes I looked at as they stared at my parents' still warm, dead bodies.

Jacob Black.

It was as if I was reliving my parents' death yet again, and the pain felt fresh once more.

My body was frozen. My breathing was erratic. And my heart was frantically.

"Bella! I'm so glad I found you!" Jacob exclaimed and began to move towards me. Instantly, I took several steps backward. The small space between us was excruciating as it was, and I couldn't let him come closer to me.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, still in shock. Though I was in complete fury of seeing him once again, another emotion was taking over. The agonizing loss I felt due to him was back once more, and it was unbearable.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward's voice arose from behind me, and I heard several footsteps ascend from behind me. I was still staring at Jacob whose eyes never left mine, and hadn't even acknowledged the people around me.

"Bella!" Jacob exclaimed happily yet again. "I finally found you!"

His act was throwing me completely off guard. It was entirely unexpected, and so very much unlike the Jacob Black I had once known. His cool-like, bad boy attitude was gone now and had been replaced with some other shit. And whatever it was, it was borderline psychotic.

He took a couple more steps towards me and slightly extended his arms.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I gasped as I moved away from him yet again and stopped as I backed into something. I felt two hands settle on my shoulders, and realized it was Edward. Normally his touch would ease my tension, but there was nothing that could help me now.

Jacob's eyes finally left mine, landing on where Edward's hands were on my shoulders.

"I asked you a question!" I yelled, not able to compose myself much longer. The fury I was feeling had became more dominant. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Finally getting Jacob's attention, he tilted his head in confusion. "You said you wanted me to come here. To see you."

So maybe he was psychotic after all.

"Why in the world would I want to see you again, huh?" I spat, despite my slight confusion. There was nothing more that I wanted at that moment than Jacob gone, but there was more behind everything. Again, I couldn't have given a shit. There was barely anything holding me together at that moment.

"Why aren't you happy to see me, Bella? Don't you remember what we used to have?" Jacob asked me, and I felt trembles continuously flow throughout my body. There was so much more behind what was going on. Something more than him being entirely insane.

"Who the hell is this guy?" I heard Emmett mumble behind me. Everyone must have been extremely confused at what exactly was happening, but I couldn't explain anything then. My attention was solely on Jacob.

"Happy to see you?" I asked angrily. "Have you lost your damn _mind_? Do you not remember everything you've done to me?"

Jacob shook his head frantically and his expression looked somewhat apologetic. "No, I remember everything. But that's why I came here. That's why I called you."

My hands were trembling more than the rest of my body and I could feel my temperature rise. I remembered the phone calls I had received from an unknown number, and still hadn't known who'd called me. And the voice had been so familiar. Though at that time I couldn't place the voice, it was all figured out now.

"Those phone calls. They were you?" I squinted as my realization was running through my mind.

"Yes, it was me." Jacob smiled, and I felt my stomach turn. "It was so good hearing your voice, Bella. You sounded so happy. I thought you put it all behind you."

"Put it all behind me?" I asked, raising my voice as I did. "Do you think I would put what you did behind me? Do you think it was some small fucking mistake for me to just get over about?"

Jacob's smile faded, turning into a frown. And if I didn't know any better, I thought I actually saw his eyes glisten as if there were tears beginning to form.

"But, she told me…" Jacob said, his eyes wandered as he shook his head. "She told me you forgave me. For everything."

She_ told him I forgave him?_

I had no idea who the hell this _she_ was, but I wasn't bothered with finding out now. My concern wasn't about who would do this to me, but rather on getting Jacob Black far away from me. My thoughts from my 18 year old self were back in gear, and I remembered how much I wanted to end Jacob Black's life for him taking my parents'. And the sick thoughts were scaring me, but I couldn't help but imagine how peaceful I would be if I didn't have to think about Jacob anymore. But no, that wouldn't solve anything. That would just make me as horrible and repulsive as the person standing right in front of me.

"I don't know you who've been talking to. But I have not forgiven you for _anything_. And trust me, I never will." I told him, still in complete fury. My hands clenched as he continued to stand there, shaking his head in denial.

"No, she said. She told me that you read my letter, and you forgave me. And that you wanted to be with me again. Bella, I still love you." Jacob sputtered, and I felt my nails dig so hard into my palm that I thought I'd cut through skin.

"What?" I breathed out as he professed his pathetic love to me yet again, and I felt Edward's hands on my shoulder tighten.

"I think it's time for you to leave." Edward said to Jacob, and I could hear the anger in his voice. Yet again, Jacob hadn't acknowledged him.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. And you love me too, like when we were teenagers. We were going to be together forever." Jacob said and I saw the edge of his lips twitch into a smile.

_The disgusting, pathetic asshole._

That was the last draw.

"I don't love you. I've never, ever loved you Jacob." I began, and I heard Rosalie and Alice's gasps as I said his name. "You are the most vile person I've met in my life, and I wish you fucking died in that accident. It's your fault my life was torn upside down! You're the reason why I lost _everything_! And I hate you, Jacob. I fucking _hate_ you!"

Jacob's lips tightened as I caught him off guard. Good. The bastard deserved it.

"You don't mean that Isabella." He denied, letting out a small laugh as he did.

"You are not allowed to call me that. Not now, not ever. Get out of my house, Jacob." I sneerd, pointing out towards the door.

Jacob didn't budge from his spot and continued to stare at me as if he hadn't heard a word I'd said.

"Jacob, get the fuck out! And if you dare come near me again, I swear on my parents' grave, I will kill you!" I screamed as loud as I could, wanting for him to actually understand what I was telling him. And if he pushed me much longer, things were going to get out of hand. Much more than they were now.

"You heard her, move it." Emmett's voice arose again as he came around to Jacob's side, accompanied by Jasper and Edward.

"Bella, please –" Jacob began to plead again as he stepped away from the guys.

"GET OUT!" I yelled. Emmett was clearly fed up, and walked towards Jacob as he backed off into the hallway. Edward and Jasper followed, closing the door as they did.

My breathing came in short breaths, and I tried to control them as well as I could. It wasn't enough, as my breaths transitioned into sobs.

"Oh my God." I breathed. Tears began to fall down my face and I slowly turned around, facing Rosalie and Alice. "Oh my God."

I walked towards the lounge, needing to keep moving myself before I broke down again. Rosalie and Alice followed as I walked past them, but clearly too stunned to not be able to even speak.

"He was here. In my house, inches away from me." I said, shaking my head in denial. Not able to keep myself standing any further, I sat down on one of the couches. I looked up at Rosalie and Alice, tears continuing to stream down my face. "He was _here._"

I began to sob as Alice and Rosalie each took one of my sides. My sobs escalated, taking over every breath.

"How could he come here!" I cried as I felt their arms around me. "He killed my parents! I lost my mom and dad because of him, and he tells me he _loves_ me? He made me lose everything!"

"Bella, it's okay. He's gone now." Alice said softly, trying to comfort me.

"No, it's not okay!" I yelled and shot up from my seat, turning to face the two of them. "It'll never be fucking _okay_! Don't you get it? He's the reason that I lost the two people in my life that loved me more than anything in the world. The two people that I loved so, _so_ much. And I lost them! He _murdered_ my parents, and they'll never come back! He's gone now, but all the torture that I've dealt with will never be gone."

Emmett, Jasper and Edward walked into the lounge, though I hadn't noticed them even walk back into the loft. My mind was in a frenzy, and nothing was being processed normally. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I felt that same pain as I'd felt the night I lost my parents. The same as it did when I saw my mother's face.

And I was _hurting_. I was hurting over not having my parents all over again, as it was when it had been fresh in my memory shortly after. I could feel the same emotions as I had the moment when I had lost them. The same pain I felt when I read the note my mother and father wrote to me for my birthday. It was all the same, and it was agonizing.

My sobs became louder, as impossible as it was, and I ran my hands through my hair as I sat in the opposite couch. My painful breaths came in short sections and I settled my head in my hands as my sobs continued to take over.

I felt the couch slightly sink in as someone sat beside me, wrapping their arms around me as well.

"I'm here." I heard Edward whisper, and that's all I needed to hear. I turned my face into his chest and put my arms around him. Edward has lifted one of his hands from my side and begun to gently stroke my hair slowly.

And I continued to cry. I cried over everything.

Of seeing the one person that I never imagined I could.

Of remembering every single emotion I'd felt the night I'd lost my parents.

How I felt when I saw my mother's face. Or when I walked into our house, feeling how empty it was without them. Going into their bedroom, which still smelt like my mother's favourite perfume. Reading my birthday note and seeing the stain from my mother's teardrops. Walking into the bathroom the morning after, noticing my father's toothbrush sitting on the counter. I was about to yell at him again for doing that, and began to before it struck me.

They were gone. Forever.

Never was I going to see my mother's smile again when I brought home a good mark. Never would I get a lecture from my father again, though we both knew that I wasn't going to listen anyways.

And never would I ever hear them tell me how much they loved me.

I lost everything. Everything that had mattered to me. Everything that I had actually lived for.

And just when I'd begun to accept myself once more, it had all been ruined yet again.

And now. Now, I really had no idea where to go from here.

It took more than four years for me to live again.

And now, I was back to day one.

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**...sorry.**


	24. Chapter 24 Living In The Past

**Man, that drained me out. Wish it was over... but it's not even close.  
This one's another drainer, so enjoy.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. If I could, I'd want to be her. Just sayin'.

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**BPOV**

Feeling the warm sunlight on my face, I lifted my weary, swollen eyelids.

I must have fallen asleep in the lounge, as I was still on the couch. Not only that, but I was basically lying right on top of Edward. I gently raised myself, not wanting to wake him up. I took in the rare moment for all that it was worth, and admired Edward in his sleep. He was perfect in every possible way, awake or asleep. However, most people usually look peaceful as they slept. But even in his sleep, Edward looked worried and my heart sank.

I couldn't imagine what went through his mind last night. Hell, I knew what I was dealing with, but the aspect of him not knowing what had happened must've been eating him alive. Yes, even though I had more than enough on my plate, I couldn't help but think of Edward.

And I knew that it was impossible for me to love Edward anymore than I had now.

And, even though I could feel the devils in my mind, there was something else that had to be done.

My mind was completely elsewhere before I felt Edward's hand graze my cheek.

"Hey." He whispered softly, wrapping his arms around me. "How're you feeling?"

"Not much better, really." I sighed and shrugged. "You slept over?"

Edward began to move up into more of a seated position, and I started to move off of him so he could but he didn't move his arms from my sides. "Yeah, you fell asleep. I didn't want to wake you, so I checked with Rosalie and Alice and they were cool with me staying. Emmett and Jasper stayed too."

"Sorry." I blushed, looking away slightly. "You must be sore from sleeping on the couch."

I felt Edward's finger underneath my chin, and let him guide my face back to his. "Bella, I could care less about being sore. What I do care about though is _you_."

I nodded my head, unable to answer him properly without letting out a tear, and lay my head back down on his chest. Edward's chest rose slightly as he sighed, and I felt his hand delicately run through my hair. The silence was unbearable, but it was impossible for me to consider speaking while battling my rampaging thoughts.

But I knew. I knew what I had to do. And as much as it would hurt, there was nothing else to do.

"Edward?" I breathed out as I raised myself again, looking back at him. "I need to clean up, but could you do me a favour?"

Edward's eyes narrowed and he nodded his head in approval. "Yeah, of course."

"Could you get the girls and your brothers down here?" I asked, my heart beginning to beat faster as my nerves kicked in. "It's time you know. Everything."

It was time.

And I wasn't turning back anymore.

**EPOV**

After Bella headed into the washroom, I made my way to wake up everyone else. And as they woke up, I headed back down to the lounge.

And to be honest, I was really fucking nervous right then.

Yeah, I was waiting to hear Bella's past for a long time now. But after what had happened the night before… Well let's just say I didn't realize that it was _that_ bad.

After we kicked Jacob out, and pretty much told him either he'd leave or we'd have him leave in pieces, we walked in on Bella crying. And man, I really had no idea what to do. From what I heard, Jacob was the person responsible for her parents' death. Seriously, when I heard that, I wished we hadn't let him go because I was just about ready to kill the guy.

But it wasn't just that. Bella looked completely shattered. Really, her other couple breakdowns were nothing compared to this. Anyways, when she sat on the couch, I did the only thing that felt the most natural. I just told her that I was here, and I meant it. So, she just cried until she fell asleep.

Emmett and Jasper stayed over because, well, Rosalie and Alice weren't doing any better. I always wondered what Rosalie was like underneath that diamond hard exterior, but after I saw her bawling when Emmett held her, I never wanted to see that again. It was painful enough seeing Alice cry. The guys understood that they needed some sort of comfort, and they stayed over.

As I was nervously fidgeting, I glanced over to see Rosalie and Alice coming down the stairs sleepily followed by Emmett and Jasper. Just by looking at the girls, it was obvious that they hadn't had much sleep the night before. I never really noticed how close the three of them were until then. It seemed as if Rosalie and Alice cared for Bella a lot more than I had thought.

A few moments later, Bella came down to the lounge. She had changed out of her dress into some flannel pants and a t-shirt, and I watched her as she sat across from me on one of the smaller couches. As she sat down, she looked around at the five of us, taking a deep breath before she began.

"I know you guys are wondering what exactly happened last night." Bella started to explain. She addressed all of us but her eyes remained on mine for a moment before she broke her gaze and looked away. "And I thought about it, and came to my decision. Even though Rosalie and Alice already know of my past, the three of you guys deserve to know."

"Whoa, hold on." Emmett interrupted and stood from his seat. "Bella, we don't _deserve_ to know anything. If you're not comfortable talking about it, then we're cool with it. It won't change anything."

Emmett looked at Jasper and I, and we nodded our heads in approval.

Bella sighed and shook her head. "No. I understand what you're saying Emmett, I really do. And it's really nice of you to care about me like that. But it's obvious how close we've gotten already, and from the looks of it we're only going to get even closer. If I didn't know that for a fact, I wouldn't have even bothered telling you guys anything. But, like I said, you deserve to know. So please, I need to do this."

Emmett pursed his lips in hesitation and kept his eyes locked on Bella's before realizing that she wasn't backing down. And with that, he sighed and sat back down in his seat. Bella let out a deep breath as he did. And me? Well, aside from the fact that I was tense as shit, I felt some sort of physical pain from the distance between Bella and I. But, it was clear that she chose to sit across from me. Not to mention that she could barely look at me. So, even though I wanted to be as close to her right then as possible, I just sat there and waited. I didn't know what I would be waiting for exactly, but I knew that when Bella needed me, I'd know.

Bella took in one last deep breath before breaking the silence.

"I grew up in Forks, Washington. Small, boring town. And I hated it. The only thing that was keeping me there though, was my parents. So I just dealt with it, even though it wasn't the greatest and most exciting place to live in. Anyways, I was a pretty rebellious teenager. I loved the getting myself into trouble, and rebelling against anything. So, the fact of having Jacob as my boyfriend was yet another addition to my already well-known disaster of a life."

Okay, so the nerves kind of went away then and became some sort of pissed off feeling. It wasn't about her wild teenage days, but it was over that guy being her boyfriend. Being close to her. _Touching_ her. Fuck, it made me so angry. It was obvious that Jacob was in love with Bella after last night, as he said so more than enough times. But just hearing it from Bella made me react differently. Some sort of jealous paranoia, and it wasn't helping.

"I'm not necessarily proud of how I was then, but somehow, my parents were. I'd do well in school, and they'd be beaming. Forks was small, but my mom and dad were the only two people that I was close to in it. Jacob was nothing to me. I loved my parents so much, and they were the same. Seriously, we wouldn't leave the house without yelling our I love you's at each other. I mean, they were the reason why I wasn't a complete wreck.

Everything changed on my 18th birthday. My parents planned a small party for the three of us at home. Cake, presents, the whole deal. But I was planning on going to some random high school party with Jacob. My mom was upset when I told her I was going out, so I compromised and promised that I'd be home by 11. So, we went to the party, and I got trashed. Nothing out of the ordinary, I guess. I was pretty messed up."

Me being surprised was an understatement. Never for one second would I think that Bella was actually how she said she was. Don't get me wrong, most teenagers are rebellious at that age. But after knowing Bella for as long as I had now, it never crossed my mind that she was like she said. And after hearing again how close she was with her parents, I felt sick to my stomach when I thought of her losing her parents.

"I was just hanging around when I felt my phone go off, and checked to see that I missed a lot of calls from home. I went upstairs to call my mom back, and she was really worried. I promised I would be home by 11, but it was 1130. I broke my promise, and went back on my compromise. And I let my parents down again. If only I knew that that'd be the last time I would let them down, but not because I wouldn't do it again. But because I wouldn't even get the chance to."

Bella's voice cracked, and I saw the beginning of a tear trail down her cheek. She broke her gaze from the group and looked down to the ground, unable to look at us while she continued.

"I called Jacob to bring me home, but he was wasted. He yelled out that he was planning on having sex with me in front of everyone, and it made me furious. I screamed at him, cussing him out from where I was, and my mom heard on the phone. Before I got the chance to explain, she said that she and my dad were on their way to the party. I wanted to get home as fast as I could, so I went to this one girl that I knew of who wasn't drinking. She agreed to drive me home, and we were almost there when I saw it.

There was an accident a few blocks down from us. It was bad. There were police cruisers everywhere. And I just felt something pulling me towards it. Like I had to be there. So I got out of the car and walked towards it.

The first thing I saw was Jacob's car, completely wrecked from the accident. I was so mad that he actually got in his car after drinking as much as he had, even after everything that had happened. But when I looked around, I saw the other car. It was a police cruiser, and the first thing that came to my mind was my dad. He was the police chief, and that cruiser could've been his."

I knew, as much as it hurt her, she looked right at me. And it hurt me just as much. There was so much pain in her eyes, and it killed me to see her like that. Bella took in a deep breath, attempting to hold back a sob, but it didn't work as she'd planned. Her tears continued to fall slowly, and she continued.

"So I ran. I ran as fast as I could, and pushed away whoever came in front of me. That's when I saw Jacob sitting in the back of an ambulance, being treated by a paramedic. The cruiser was in pieces, and I knew that whoever was in it couldn't have been okay. But what I saw after that was even worse.

There were officers surrounded by two body bags lying on the ground. The one was already zipped, but they were doing up the other one. But I saw who was in it before it closed. I saw my mother's face before they zipped it closed."

All the air left me as I listened to Bella pouring her heart out, as if I'd been punched right in the stomach

Never, ever would I have thought that's what had happened to Bella. And never would I have wished for someone to endure that kind of pain. I wanted to hold her, kiss her pain away, but I knew that there was no point. I could do anything for Bella, but she still would've been grieving over her parents' death. Her loss was at a point where it would be impossible for her to heal completely, and I felt horrible. Not only that, but I felt useless.

My attention diverted to Rosalie and Alice, who were both crying too. Emmett and Jasper were holding them, but just by looking at their face it was obvious that they were as shocked as I was. Bella's sobs continued, but she managed to speak over them.

"I lost them. Both of them. My mom and dad, all in one night. And by my own boyfriend. God, I felt so disgusted with myself, because if it wasn't for me, they'd be alive. If I had just used my damn brain for once, I would've been home on time. But I was irresponsible, and pathetic. I couldn't keep one small promise, and I'd never be able to make it up to them.

I found a gift box sitting beside my cake, and opened it to read a letter my mom wrote from her and my dad. She told me how much she loved me, how proud they were of me. How they were anxious to see all the success I would have in the future, and getting to see all of it first hand. My mom wrote, if you've reached the sky know that you've yet to reach the stars. And right then, I couldn't have felt lower. But there were a set of keys in it. My birthday gift was this loft because she knew that I wanted to go to NYU, even after everything. I hadn't even accepted my offer yet, but they both knew that this was what I wanted. So I moved here and left everything behind in Forks.

But I felt so empty. I changed into a completely different person, because I couldn't live with myself. I was responsible for everything, and didn't deserve to be alive. Jacob may have caused the accident, but it was me who killed my parents. And if I felt any inch of happiness in my life, I did whatever I could to get rid of it. I wouldn't be happy if my parents were dead. I'd go to school, pass the bar, and manage a life that my parents could be proud of. And I did it, but I did it without a soul. I didn't want to live. Everything reminded me of the life I had before with my parents, and the loss I felt without them.

And now, look at me."

I hadn't realized that I'd been staring down at my clenched fists, holding back my various emotions. I looked up at Bella, who had been addressing me.

"Look at me now. I'm worse than Jacob. If given the chance, I would've switched places with my parents in an instant. And I wouldn't regret it at all. I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve anything good coming my way. I deserve pain. There's nothing about me that's worth of anything good, and I'll never, ever forgive myself. I lost my mom and dad because of being some stupid, idiotic teenager. They did everything for me. They _loved_ me before I even knew what love was. And I let them down, all in one night. And I will never be able to make it up to them. I'll never be able to see my mom smile when I walk in the door. Or watch the game together with my dad. Or hear them say I love you again. I took that away from them, and from myself. How could I be that cruel?"

She looked away from me, back at the ground, and continued to sob.

And it was then that I knew that I couldn't just sit there any longer. I hated hearing all the things that she thought of herself. Not only did she blame herself, but she wouldn't even give herself the chance to _live_. So I stood up from my seat across from her, passing everyone on my way without looking over at them. I sat down beside her, and pulled her towards me, letting her cry on me as she did the night before.

"I won't blame you if you leave now." Bella choked out between a sob, catching me off guard as she slightly pulled away. "And I won't blame you guys either."

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere." I said firmly, pulling her back to me. "There's nothing that would make me leave you, ever."

"Same here." Jasper mumbled from his seat. "You're not getting rid of me anytime soon."

"Sorry Bella. You're stuck with us for good." Emmett added in softly

I felt Bella shake her head against my chest, and I wouldn't let her have the chance to retort against us. "Bella, you can try to deny it, but it's true. There's nothing that you could do that would make us turn against you. Not now, not ever. We're here for you through thick and thin. We're family."

With that, the four of them rose from their seats and surrounded Bella and I. Alice sat by Bella's legs, laying her head on her lap while Rosalie sat on her other side and held her as well. Emmett took the small spot beside Rosalie, spreading his arms so that one was rubbing Rosalie's back and the other was on Bella's knee. And Jasper, knowing I needed it, stood behind me and set his hands on my shoulders.

And in that moment, I knew that things would get better. Because we had each other. Bella's parents were irreplaceable, but we were her family too. She would never have to feel as if she had no one, and she'd never have to feel alone. We would be there.

And she would get better. I knew she would. I'd be by her side throughout everything she'd deal with, and I'd help her through it all.

I loved her, more than anything. And it was agonizing hearing her story and all she went through. And I couldn't imagine what she felt. If only hearing it made us feel as we did, her living through it day by day would've been unbearable.

So I held her, and took in the comfort and support we received from our family.

And as I did, I felt a tear drop escape my eye.

I loved Bella more than anything. And I would never, ever have her feel the way she felt then again.

I heard her past, and I listened to what she had experienced. But I wasn't going anywhere.

It was time for us to begin our lives together.

And it was time for the healing to begin.

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**So they finally know. About time, right? What'd you guys think of her confession?**


	25. Chapter 25 Family

**Alright, time to bring in the parentals! Everyone, get ready to be introduced to Carlisle and Esme Cullen.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm not Stephenie Meyer.**

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**BPOV**

I couldn't believe what Edward was saying. Or Jasper. Or even Emmett.

After everything I said, everything I told them, they still felt the same way? I couldn't understand how that'd be possible. Why would they want me still in their lives after they'd heard of the horrible things I had done?

And I knew that their hearts were just as my mom and dads were. Yes, I didn't deserve any of it, but I couldn't help but feel gratitude. Because, if it weren't for them and the girls, I would've been lost. Hell, I probably would've offed myself already if they weren't there. And I was truly blessed.

Yes, it was hard trying to believe that they weren't going to turn and leave just as I thought everything was okay. I'd lose them instantly like my mom and dad. But now, as we were all embracing and comforting each other, it was even more difficult thinking that. But, still, I wasn't worthy of any of it.

Interrupting my thoughts, I felt a vibration on my leg. Realizing it was Edward's phone, I attempted to lift myself up from him. And I say attempt, because neither Edward nor Rosalie were budging from their hold on me.

"Edward," I said, my voice still hoarse from my crying. "Your phone."

"Let it ring." Edward replied, mumbling into my hair.

Rosalie reacted by leaning off of me, and instead clutching onto my hand after I'd moved them off of Edward. I put my free hand on Edward's chest, gently pushing him back.

"Edward, at least check who it is." I told him. "It could be an emergency."

I looked up into Edward's eyes, and if I had any doubt about how much he loved me, it was gone now. There was so much passion in his eyes, and so much adoration when he looked at me. When his eyes were locked on mine, I felt as I'd never felt before. Most of all, I felt… _beautiful_. He made me feel as if I was perfect. And as if there was nobody else but us.

_I guess that's what love is._

This whole love thing was scaring me. Each day that would pass, I would learn more of it. And I'd grow so attached to Edward. My independency was still there, but with each passing day with Edward, it would be challenged.

Edward sighed, lifting himself slightly and pulling his phone out of his pocket. As he checked the caller ID, he leaned his head back on the couch and groaned.

"Who was it?" Jasper asked curiously, leaning over to check for himself.

"I completely forgot." Edward said. "Mom and Dad's flight came in this morning. That's who called. They're probably at the condo waiting for us."

"Shit! I forgot to clean my room!" Emmett whined, smacking his face with his hand.

It must've been something about the love I felt, because without even knowing it, I felt the side of my mouth twitch into a lopsided grin. Not gonna lie, I was pretty shocked. I mean, I had just dropped a bomb on them. It took me a week to get back into everything after I'd told Rosalie and Alice. And now, just a few moments after I'd been bawling my eyes out, Emmett Cullen makes me smile.

Crazy.

Our group embrace ended, unfortunately. Well, all but Edward and I, who still had his arms wrapped around me. I wiped the tears that had remained under my eyes and looked back up at him.

"Aren't you going to call back your parents?" I asked, quickly gazing down at his phone that was still clutched in his hand.

Edward sighed and looked at his phone as well. "I should. But –"

"Edward," I interrupted as I realized what he was going to say. "You need to call your parents. They came here to see you, not for you to stay here with your over-emotional girlfriend. I'll be fine."

His eyes furrowed and he shook his head slightly.

"You're not over-emotional, Bella." Edward said to me as I sighed. "You're as normal as any one of us. But you're right, I do need to call my parents. My mom's probably worried already."

I nodded, reaching over to hold his phone clutching hand and bringing it closer to him, giving him a small reassuring smile as I did. He responded by leaning in and kissing me softly on my forehead.

**EPOV**

"Edward, where are you? Your father and I have been in New York for a half hour, and neither of my sons are to be found." My mother asked frantically before I had a chance to even speak.

"Sorry Mom. Something came up and we completely lost track of time. We'll explain when we get to the condo." I explained, giving my brothers a look that told them to get ready.

"The least you three could've done was call one of us." Mom said after she gave a reassured sigh. "This is so unlike you boys."

"I know, Mom. We're sorry, really. It's complicated." I told her, rubbing Bella's side as I heard her sigh. "We'll be there in a few minutes."

I hung up, setting off Emmett's long held groan. "We're so screwed!" He said loudly.

"Sorry guys." Bella mumbled. Damn it. She was blaming herself, yet again.

"Bella, don't apologize. It's our fault for not even calling them." I assured her, looking down into her beautiful brown eyes. "But we do have to go though."

Bella nodded and responded by getting herself up from the couch, holding my hand to bring me up with her. I checked to make sure Emmett and Jasper were ready to leave as well, and thankfully they were.

Jasper walked up to Bella, wrapping her into a hug and kissing her on her forehead.

"Bella, I'm glad you were able to tell us about your parents." He told her softly and she nodded into his chest. "And I want you to know, that no matter what, you're family. And we Cullen's always look out for our family."

Jasper pulled away slightly from Bella, giving her a small smile as she looked up at him in tears.

"Thanks Jasper." She said in a loud whisper, clearing trying to push away her tears. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

Jasper nodded and pulled her into one last tight hug before walking over to Alice. Emmett had been holding onto Rosalie, whose smile was lighting up the room, and made his way over to Bella.

"And Emmett Cullen will always look out for his little sister. That means, if this jackass over here pisses you off, you let me know and I'll take care of him." Emmett told her, smirking as he picked her up into one of his bear hugs. "Love ya Bells."

Okay, so I was pretty damn taken back then. It was one for your brothers to like your new girlfriend, but for it to be as much as it was now? I never appreciated my brothers as much as I had then. Their sincerity and love for Bella was having a strong positive effect on her. If I had any doubt that she wasn't going to get better in the future, it was lessening now. And if I had any doubt that I wouldn't be able to help her, I knew that Emmett and Jasper would always be there for her. It meant a lot to me.

Emmett set Bella down as I noticed that her tears had been replaced with her beautiful smile. "Love you too, Emmett. And I'll make sure to take up your offer if I need to."

I chuckled and set my hands on Bella's waist, holding her from behind.

"Oh really? Have you seen the size of Emmett? I wouldn't make it out alive." I whispered into her ear, nuzzling into her hair.

"I promise, I'll only use it as a last resort." Bella laughed, making me feel better already. The sound of her laugh always settled my tension.

I linked my hand in Bella's as we followed behind Rosalie and Emmett, who had just left as well. Before I walked out the door, I turned to face Bella once more. I lifted my hand and settled it on her cheek as she looked up at me.

"I'll call you tonight. I love you." I said to her before leaning in and placing my lips on hers gently.

"I love you too." Bella said softly as I pulled away, giving me a small smile as well. And with that, I made my way out of the girls' loft.

"You know, I'm still upset at you boys for not calling." My mother told us as we sat in the restaurant, waiting on our bill.

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at my mother's hundredth time at mentioning her disappointment. We'd shown our parents all around New York City, stopping by at NYU and even going shopping with our mother. But still, Mom was not happy.

"Mom, we said we were sorry." Emmett whined.

"Emmett Cullen, I haven't even started with you. Don't think I didn't see your room." Mom told him sharply, making Emmett pout and slop into his seat.

"Esme, please." Dad broke in, attempting to end our torture. "The boys have apologized several times. I think they feel bad enough without you constantly letting them know."

I was thankful for my father coming in at the right times. He was always like that, even when we were children. When my mother would be about to punish the three of us, my father would persuade her enough to let us off. Or sweet talk her. Of course, the Cullen boys had to get their charm from somewhere right?

My mother stared at my father and then sighed, signaling that she had indeed lost. Well, this round anyways.

"Fine, fine. You three just worried me, that's all." She said, addressing the three of us. "But you still haven't told me where you boys were this morning. By the looks of your condo, it seems as if you weren't even home last night."

I was hoping that she wouldn't ask. Or notice the condo. But then again, this was Esme Cullen. Nothing could get past her. And the fact that Emmett and Jasper immediately looked at me when she stopped talking didn't help me out much either.

"Mom, it's kind of complicated." I told her. "We were at the girls' loft this morning, and last night. It's not what you think, at all really. Do you remember what I had told you about Bella having some sort of traumatic past?"

My mother's attention peaked and she nodded her head. "Of course. I'd discussed it with your father as well."

I looked over to my father who nodded as well. "It seems very serious. I sincerely hope that you hadn't pried, though your mother told you not to."

"No, nothing like that. I didn't pry at all." I told them quickly. "But, something did happen last night. Bella was really upset, and so were Rosalie and Alice. So we stayed over, and when Bella woke up this morning she told us everything."

"The poor girl." My mother said softly, looking down at her hands and shaking her head. "I had no idea, or else I wouldn't have rushed you boys."

"Well, she was doing better before we left." Jasper added in. "So were Rosalie and Alice. I just think she didn't expect for the three of us to take it as well as we did."

My father's eyes furrowed as his gaze left Jasper and moved over to me. "Whatever Bella had gone through sounds serious, Edward."

"It is." I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. "But I want her to tell you guys for herself."

"And we wouldn't want it any other way." Dad nodded, taking a last sip of his wine before taking the bill from the waitress. I reached over to try and pay for it myself, but Dad's reflexes were much faster than mine. "Nope, this was my treat. I missed my boys."

"Thanks Dad." The three of us said to him, and all of us sat up from our seats as he signed the paper. We left the restaurant and walked over to the valet, giving them our tickets.

"We'll see you boys bright and early tomorrow, so I suggest you get some sleep once you've reached home." Mom told us as she went in to hug all three of us at once.

"Wait, you're not staying with us?" Jasper asked curiously, and I nodded as I wondered the same thing.

"Well, we didn't know if you'd be comfortable with your parents staying over at your place." Dad chuckled, running a free hand through his blonde hair.

"Come on! It'd be like old times!" Emmett bellowed, heading over and putting one arm around each parents' shoulder. "But you get Edward's room."

I laughed and put my hands up in front of my chest. "Fine by me."

Mom smiled, lifting her hand and pinching one of Emmett's cheeks. "My boys."

I dressed into some flannel pants and a t-shirt before sitting down on my bed and calling Bella.

"Hey." She answered almost sadly, getting me concerned.

"Hey Bella. Everything okay?" I asked her, about to get up to put on my shoes and head over to the condo. It was beginning to be an involuntary thing.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Bella said and I relaxed back into my previous position. "I was just playing my guitar. It always gets to me."

"You're sure you're okay?" I asked again, still not assured enough.

"Yes, I'm fine. I promise. How was your day with your parents?"

"It was great." I told her, telling her all about where we'd gone around New York. "We just got in from dinner. They were about to go to a hotel."

"No way." Bella gasped. "You didn't let them, did you?"

"Of course not." I said, shaking my head even though she couldn't see me do it. _Moron_. "They're staying over in my room."

"Oh." Bella replied softly, making me chuckle.

"Oh, what?" I asked her, waiting as there was a brief silence between us.

"Well, I mean, they'll be sleeping in your bed." She said in a half-whisper, still leaving me confused.

"Of course they would, where else would they be sleeping?" I told her, before realizing what she'd meant. "Oh, _in_ my bed."

"Yeah. I don't think they'd be all that comfortable knowing that their son took his girlfriend's virginity in the bed they were sleeping in." She explained, and I laughed again.

"Well they'll never have to –" I began to tell her, before stopping in the middle of my sentence when I actually grasped what Bella had just said. "Whoa, wait a second. Girlfriend's _virginity_?"

Shit. I had no idea Bella was a virgin. I mean, yeah, she wasn't like loose or anything, to put it bluntly. But I kind of assumed that she'd been with a guy before, as much as it pissed me off thinking about it. Come on, a girl so beautiful and perfect? What guy would've given up a chance like that?

"Uh, yeah." Bella said, and I knew she was slightly embarrassed. "I kind of forgot to tell you."

And though I was surprised, I wanted to hit myself straight in the head. If she was a virgin, then I must've hurt her when we were having sex.

"Shit, I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't hurt you did I? God, I'm such an idiot." I rambled, putting my head in my hand.

"No. I mean, well yeah it hurt a bit in the beginning." She explained, making me feel worse already. "But it's okay. I'm okay. And it's always like that in the beginning anyways. It'll be better next time."

"I'm sorry." I still felt bad, but couldn't hide my enthusiasm. "Next time, huh?"

Bella gave a half-laugh half-breath into her phone. "Oh, there has to be a next time."

"Can't wait. You know, if it wasn't entirely illegal, I'd have you naked all the time. You have no idea how beautiful you are." I charmed, knowing that she was probably blushing and I missed seeing it.

"And you said I was a perv." She laughed.

"Oh, you still are." I told her, smiling.

"Right." Bella scoffed, making me laugh. "Anyways, what do you have planned with your parents tomorrow?"

I leaned back to lie on my bed, letting out a deep breath as I did. "More like what does Mom have planned for us. All I know is that Mom and Dad want to meet the three of you, so they wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night."

"Really?" Bella asked, clearly surprised.

"Of course, Bella. My parents can't wait to meet you. Or Rosalie and Alice." I assured her, hoping that she wouldn't be too nervous to meet the parents.

"Well, tell them that we say thank you. And we'll definitely be there." She told me, still sounding nervous. But that was completely nervous, anyways.

"Perfect. I'll call you tomorrow afternoon with more details. But my mom is going to walk in here any minute and yell at me for not being in bed already, so I should probably let you go. I feel ten years old again." I sighed, pulling myself back up into a seated position on my bed. I looked over my shoulder and gazed at it, remembering being with Bella in it not too long ago. The images of us being so close brought a smile to my face, not to mention getting me a little excited. If you know what I mean.

"You're lucky." Bella sighed, and I grimaced when I understood what she meant.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean it like that." I apologized, grabbing a fistful of my hair.

"No, don't apologize. I just miss them." She said, letting out a deep breath as she did.

"Of course. And I'm sorry that we left so soon this morning, but I want to talk to you about what happened. If you're comfortable, that is. There's a few things that are on my mind." I told her, remembering how she kept blaming herself that morning.

"Sure, I'm fine with that." Bella sighed again. "Anyways, you should go. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you."

"I love you too Bella. More than anything. I'll see you tomorrow."

I hung up my phone and made my way to say goodnight to my family. They'd be the ones who'd be helping me through my future with Bella.

And never would I feel as blessed to have them than I would then.

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**Surprise, Edward! You popped Bella's cherry. =)**


	26. Chapter 26 Meet The Cullens

**Outfit choices are linked up the profile, as usual.  
And now, it's time for the girls to meet the parents. I'm evil, haha!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**BPOV**

"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God." Rosalie kept silently saying to herself as she sat in the passenger seat beside me.

We had spent the entire day shopping for our first official meeting with Esme and Carlisle Cullen. And clearly, meeting the parents wasn't doing too well with Rosalie.

"Rosalie, breathe." I suggested from behind the wheel before stopping at the red light. "You're freaking us all out."

"Yeah Rose." Alice chimed from the backseat as she pushed herself up, holding onto Rosalie's headrest. "You're going to give yourself a hernia."

Okay, maybe a little funny, but it was obvious how nervous the three of us were. Rosalie was just doing a better job at showing it anyways. Personally, I had already had my freak out the night before when Edward had told me about that night's plans with his parents. Meeting the parents was scary enough. But meeting Edward's parents was absolutely terrifying.

"Shut up." Rosalie looked back and snapped at Alice, before turning back to me. "I don't look too slutty, do I?"

Yeah, Rosalie was definitely freaking out.

After hours and hours of shopping, we had finally settled on our outfits. Alice bought a short, sleeveless white dress that had a black strap around the front which bowed into the back. Classic Alice, and super adorable. I wanted something blue because, well, it clearly seemed to be Edward's favourite colour on me. I mean, I liked the colour blue but now I just liked it even more. So, I settled on a sleeveless royal blue dress that had braided straps and a sort of ruffle down the front.

It took the two of us long enough to find a dress, but it took Rosalie even longer. She was clearly doing her best to try to impress the boys' parents, of course. After a few hours, and a permanent pain in the soles of our feet, she finally found it. It was a classic, short black dress with short sleeves and an open back. In my opinion, I thought she looked gorgeous. Of course, it was a difference from her usual clothing selections, but she looked equally as beautiful either way.

"Rose, there is nothing slutty about that dress. You look beautiful." I assured her, reaching over and squeezing her hand lightly as she breathed out a sigh.

"Do you think they'll like us?" Alice asked softly as we turned into the restaurant parking lot.

"I hope so." I sighed, and Rosalie nodded in agreement.

I parked the car by the front door, and the three of us got out. As I gave the valet my key, I saw Edward's figure coming towards me through the corner of my eye.

**EPOV**

I walked up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her waist, settling them on her stomach.

"You look gorgeous." I whispered into her ear, squeezing her slightly and earning her giggle.

Bella leaned her head back against my shoulder, tilting her head up and setting her lips gently on mine. I missed the feeling of kissing her, way too much in fact. As much as I enjoyed it, it ended just as fast.

"Thank you." Bella said, raising her hand and settling it on my cheek. "For everything."

I didn't understand why she was thanking me. I hadn't really done anything for her that needed thanking.

"I'd do anything for you." I told her, figuring it was a better response than anything else. And, it was completely true.

I tightened Bella in my arms again and looked over at Rosalie and Alice, who were girlishly giggling at us.

"Ladies, looking stunning as always. You're going to give my brother's a heart attack, you know?" I smiled, imagining the looks on Emmett and Jasper's faces as they'd take it all in.

"More like the three of you are giving us a heart attack." Rosalie said as her giggling ended, crossing her arms around her chest. I cocked my eyebrow in confusion before Alice had spoken up.

"Rosalie's not dealing well with the whole meeting the parents ordeal." She informed me, pointing over to the restaurant. "Well, neither of us are, but she's about to combust."

I felt Bella shift uncomfortably as Alice admitted their nerves, and also caught Rosalie's death stare directed towards Alice as well. Clearly, their moods needed some readjusting.

"There's nothing to be nervous about." I began, attempting to calm them before we walked into the restaurant. "My parents, having not even met either of you three, like you already. This dinner's just to formally introduce everyone, and for my mother to see the beauties her sons have hooked onto. I know it's nerve-racking, but my parents are great. Trust me."

Thankfully, I settled the tension in the three of them, as they nodded their heads in agreement and began to make their way into the restaurant. As I opened the door for them, they walked in and waited for me to lead the way to our table. From what I could see, Emmett was yet again amusing my parents as they were laughing at whatever new stories he had waiting for them. When my mother looked up and saw us, she smiled and tapped Dad's hand, signaling our arrival. As they all turned to face us, they sat up from their seats and began to walk over to us.

"Mom, Dad, this is –" I began to introduce the girls before my mother waved her arm excitedly, interrupting me.

"No, don't tell me. I already know." She beamed before walking over to Rosalie. "You must be Rosalie. Emmett has told me all about you. It seems as if, other than me, you may be the only other woman in the world able to keep his head on straight."

If Rosalie had any more nerves before she walked in, they were all settled now. My mother took her into an embrace and Rosalie returned it, smiling as she did. Mom pulled away from Rosalie, and looked over at Alice.

"And you must be Alice, of course. Jasper's been going on about this angelic girl he can't get his mind off of. I can see why now." She told Alice, pulling her into an embrace just as she did with Rosalie. Alice giggled, hugging her tightly in her small arms as well. Mom unwrapped her arms from Alice, and finally turned over to look at Bella.

"Bella." She said softly before moving towards Bella and wrapping her into a tight hug. "I'm so happy to finally meet you."

I could tell how surprised Bella was, but she returned my mother's embrace just as tightly. Mom moved back from Bella slightly, raising her hands and settling them on either side of Bella's cheeks. She said nothing, but just smiled at Bella, though I could see the glistening of unshed tears in her eyes. I really had no idea why my mother was being emotional, but I was just hoping that it wouldn't be uncomfortable for Bella. As I gazed at her, I saw no sign of it. She was just smiling just as widely back at my mother before she removed her hands from her cheek.

"Well Esme, it seems as if our sons have inherited my taste in women as well." Dad added in as Mom released Bella, laughing at his comment. "It's very nice to meet you girls. Please, sit."

I intertwined my fingers in Bella's and led her to her seat, pulling her chair out for her as I did.

I'm a gentleman. What can I say?

The conversation of the evening was light and delightful. My parents were doing their best to make the girls feel comfortable, and that definitely worked. Rosalie told them of her modeling jobs, and her recent big shoot that she got. Alice let all loose about her dream life in fashion, and how successful she's been so far as a personal shopper. Even her excitement about recently hooking up with some celebrities. From what I could see, not only were my brothers completely in love with them, but as were my parents. And really, I couldn't have been any happier.

Aside from eating, Bella's hand never left mine. And whenever they weren't linked, we were always in contact with one another. Either I'd set my hand on her knee, or let myself slip by running it up her thigh slightly before she playfully swatted it away. I knew how much in pain she was the night before, but she was clearly doing much better now.

And as the eight of us sat there together around one table, eating and laughing together, I could just see myself ten years from now. All still together. All still in love.

And all still happy.

**BPOV**

As much as I enjoyed our dinner with Esme and Carlisle, I couldn't help but feel that slight pain in my heart.

Esme and Carlisle were amazing. They were completely sweet, and extremely warm-hearted. And it reminded me of my own parents. Of course, I always missed them, but just having that moment sort of set everything in yet again.

But, I did my best not to let my sadness show, as hard as it was. From the looks of it, Edward's parents being around had a huge effect on him. On the three of them, actually. I knew they missed home, so just having their parents around for the short while that they could was getting rid of their homesickness.

"So, Bella." Carlisle said as Alice ended her discussion about fashion 'hots and nots'. "What brought you to New York?"

My head shot up to look at Carlisle, and I felt uneasy immediately. Edward's hand tightened around mine as Carlisle asked. And as much as I knew it'd bring up more questions, I answered him by skipping on my real reason.

"Law school, actually." I began to explain. "NYU was always my top choice, so I came down here. I just finished up on my undergraduate, so now I'm getting ready for everything after it."

Luckily, that explained enough for Esme and Carlisle.

"Impressive." Esme complimented sweetly, and I felt myself blush. "That's quite an accomplishment, Bella. But why NYU? I mean, there are several other universities equally qualified."

"Of course. But there were other aspects involved. When I had applied, I also did because I always wanted to see New York. To live the city life, really." I explained truthfully. As a teenager, I always felt locked in living in Forks and always wanted to see New York. Pictures never really did it any justice.

"I know what exactly what you mean." Carlisle added in, nodding as I explained the reason for choosing NYU rather than why I actually came to New York. "The first time I saw Times Square, it was breathtaking. I've never seen anything as beautiful."

The conversation continued just as smoothly, and I let out a sigh of relief softly as I realized that I was in the clear. I would eventually talk to Carlisle and Esme about my past, but just not now.

Before I knew it, our night came to an end. Carlisle had informed us that he had left his information with the restaurant owner before we had entered, so there was no need for us to wait for the check. I couldn't even imagine how large the bill was going to be. The restaurant we had dined in was one of the most popular in the city. People had to make reservations months in advance.

"Thank you for dinner. It was delightful." I told Carlisle and Esme before she gave me one last hug. Rosalie and Alice followed through just as I did. The valet brought Carlisle's car first, and the two of them said their final goodbyes before they sat in it. Rosalie and Alice were having intimate conversations with Emmett and Jasper as they left, so I linked my hand with Edward's and led him to my car when the valet brought it up.

"Your parents are really wonderful. I can see where you got your looks from." I teased playfully, leaning my back on the car door.

"Oh really?" Edward said, smirking as he set his hands on my waist. "And is that the only thing you've fallen for about me?"

"Well…" I began as I lightly trailed my fingers up Edward's chest slowly before setting my hand on the side of his neck. "There's much, much more. Like your sensitivity. Your natural need to make me feel happy, no matter what. And always being there for me when I need support. But even now, after knowing everything, I just wish I could get rid of the feeling that you'd leave me. For what I am, I mean."

"Bella," Edward frowned, sighing as he tilted his head down, his lips inches from mine. "I will never, ever leave you. Not in this lifetime, or the next."

Before I had a chance to retort, Edward's lips silenced mine. The passion in it was striking, as our kiss fulfilled the many needs between us that had been ignored for much too long. My hand that had been on his neck pulled him towards me, wanting more. I felt Edward's tongue slightly graze my bottom lip, and I granted him entrance to my just as needy tongue. He moved closer to me, as I felt every inch of his body linked with mine. As I could feel his evident erection, a moan escaped my mouth. And, as per usual, our kiss ended.

"I love you. I miss being so close to you like this." Edward admitted hoarsely.

"I love you too. You have no idea how bad I want to make love to you again. I want you, Edward." I whispered gruffly, moaning yet again as Edward trailed his kisses from my jaw to my sensitive neck.

I gripped onto the bottom of Edward's shirt which was tucked into his slacks and tilted my head back as I felt Edward's nibble gently on my shoulder. I didn't care how bad our PDA was. I needed him. And he needed me just as bad. With no plans in stopping, Edward continued to kiss me before we were rudely erupted my Emmett's whistling.

"Go little bro!" He hollered, gathering the attention of a few others around us. "I would say go little sis too, but people would think there was some sort of incest crap going on. You'd be raising even more eyebrows that way."

I blushed in embarrassment and heard Edward chuckle slightly before straightening himself, looking back at me as he did.

"We'll be together soon, I promise." He told me, grazing my cheek with his fingers delicately. "I'll call you in the morning."

I nodded in agreement, though I was yet in my after-Edward make out daze. "I love you."

Edward leaned in once more, kissing me slightly and shortly. "I love you more."

The valet had just brought in Edward's car, ending our moment completely. He let go of my hand, kissing it as well before walking over to his car. Emmett pulled Rosalie in one last bear hug before settling her back on the ground and following Edward. Jasper kissed Alice as well before unlinking his hands from her and doing the same.

The whole ride, we talked about how well the dinner had went. More than well, actually. And it made everything much more realistic. We loved the boys more than anything, and now we'd met their parents who we felt just as connected to.

Everything was working out almost perfectly. But there was still that I had to work on.

Though I hadn't admitted it to anyone, I had a nightmare the night before. It wasn't as intense as my usual ones, but it was close.

And I wasn't sure if it was fixable without help.

It was time to find out.

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**Uh ohhh sexual tension? Haha**


	27. Chapter 27 The Game

**No one likes a tease. Too bad this chapter is full of teases and teasing. I'm evil, I know, it's true.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Lucky broad...**

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**BPOV**

"Bella, will you please just relax? You're causing a scene." Rosalie hissed at me.

It didn't seem all that fitting that Rosalie would be the one telling me to relax, considering her shaky nerves the night before. But, she'd be fine of course considering it was her who had suggested that the Cullens come over to dinner tonight.

In case you haven't noticed this yet, our dinner's usually end up in disaster.

So yes, I was nervous. I was hoping that saying 'third time's the charm' may be in order, but who knew? Unexpected events were a regular for me.

But, there was yet another thing on my mind. I had barely slipped through Carlisle's and Esme's questions relating to my past the night before at dinner. What the problem now was continuing to do so, but without offending them. Or raising even more questions. It wasn't that I was annoyed by them, because I wasn't. I wasn't turned away by them being curious. I mean, I was dating their youngest son. They had every right to know details about me and my life.

Anyways, that was something that I'd have to figure out later through the night. For now, it was attempting to leave the mall and drive home without running someone over.

Once I parked the car, the three of us got out and grabbed our boatload of bags from t he trunk. There was food, clothes, and more food. I figured with the two extra people, and Emmett's pouts at no leftovers last time, it was better to make more food tonight. So, we bought enough to make chicken parmesan, pasta and cheesecake with fruit topping for dessert.

As we dropped off our bags in the kitchen, I began to prepare everything I needed for dinner. After taking out the cutting board, I heard my cell phone ring so I set the board down and began to walk over to my purse to get it. Before I made it there, however, Alice pounced and beat me to it.

"There's only one person I know that would call you now." She sand before grabbing my phone and checking the ID. As she saw who it was, she smiled hugely and answered it, lowering her voice in attempts to mimic mine. "Hey hot stuff."

I could hear Edward's laughter in response from standing beside her, and couldn't help but to chuckle myself. I watched as her smile turned into a childish pout.

"How'd you know it was me? Come on, Edward, you could've at least played along." Alice whined before extending her hand towards me. "Here. Talk to your boring boyfriend."

I took my phone from Alice's hand, who then grabbed her bags and stomped her way upstairs.

"Jasper has no idea who he's dealing with." Edward said as I put the phone to my ear, still laughing at Alice's scene.

"He's got his hands full, that's for sure." I agreed, earning a death stare from Alice as she ascended up the stairs.

"So, how did the shopping go?" Edward asked as I made my way back to the kitchen.

"Good, actually. We each bought a new outfit for tonight." I began to explain before being interrupted by the doorbell. "Hold on a sec Edward."

I opened the door, only to be greeted with an enormous bouquet of pink and white lilies.

"Delivery for… Rosalie, Alice and Bella?" I heard a muffled voice from behind the bouquet and I couldn't help but giggle a bit as I took the beautiful flowers from the straining hands in front of me. As I looked away from the flowers and noticed the teenage boy in the doorway, I clued back into reality. After I set the flowers on the kitchen table, I looked through the delicate flowers in search for a card. With no luck, I turned back to the boy in the doorway who seemed to be a little out of it.

"Thanks. But, there's no card." I told him, pointing towards the bouquet.

"Y-Yeah. Um, there wasn't one." He stuttered nervously. I almost questioned his state, wondering if it was natural or not.

I nodded my head and went back to the table to grab a tip from my purse for him, being confused yet again when he almost dropped it on the ground as his jaw had dropped when I came closer. He continued to stand there, staring at me with eyes wide open.

"Uh, thanks again." I said as I held the door open for him, cueing his exit as soon as possible. He blinked a couple times, swallowed loudly and headed out the door. As I closed and locked the door, finding it possibly necessary at the moment, I put my phone back to my ear. "That was weird."

Rather than getting a response from Edward, I heard stifled laughter from the other end.

"What's so funny?" I asked Edward curiously.

"Oh nothing." Edward managed to choke out between laughter. "It's just that, even from here, I feel bad for the kid."

Okay, so definitely still confused.

"Edward, what are you talking about?" I asked him again, hoping for a proper answer this time.

"Bella, do you even look at yourself in the mirror?" Edward asked me. "The poor kid was clearly lost for words when he saw you."

I was pretty surprised, to say the least. Okay, so I was pretty, I already knew that. Hell, I used my looks as a teenager so obviously I would've realized it. But, at the same time, I didn't think it was that bad for me to have that kind of effect on someone.

"Yeah right." I scoffed, denying it for being unrealistic. There must've been some other reason.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." Edward sighed into the phone. "You downplay yourself way too much. Take it from me, considering I can barely hold myself when I'm around you most of the time."

"Whatever you say." I told him, not enjoying the unnecessary attention all that much. Anyways, I could care less what other guys had thought of me. If it wasn't Edward, I didn't give a shit. "You should see these flowers, Edward. They're gorgeous."

"Well, I'm sure they're not as gorgeous as you." He said charmingly, earning a blush from my end.

"Oh really?" I teased. "And how would you know? You don't even know what they are."

"Actually, I do." Edward replied, putting me in confusion yet again. Weird how he always does that.

I walked back over to the flowers, delicately touching their soft petals.

"And how is that?" I asked him.

"Because I picked them. With Emmett and Jasper, I mean." He told me. "I told them how nervous the three of you were last night, so we wanted to do something nice for you girls. Do you like them?"

"Like them?" I breathed, unable to talk properly for some strange reason. "Edward, I love them. And I'm sure Alice and Rose will too. Thank you, really."

"Anything for you." Edward said. As I was about to reply back, I heard Emmett's hollering in the background.

"Hey! What about us? We helped too!" He yelled, and I could hear Jasper laughing as well.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of fulfillment at how close our relationships were. As much as I loved Edward, the connection I had with Emmett and Jasper were indescribable. Though our short time of knowing each other, I was noticeably comfortable with them more than I had been with anyone else.

"Thanks Emmett! Thanks Jasper!" I said loudly into the phone, hoping that they'd hear me through my laughter.

I heard some scrambling and muffled voices, before shortly there was just the sound of Edward's breathing.

"They really are beautiful, Edward. Thank you again." I told him, immediately feeling a sense of emptiness with not having him near me. Our intimate moment the night before made me long for him more than I had in the short while of not being with him. I missed his touch, his soft grabs at my skin, my hand in his hair and dear God, I missed that mouth.

"You don't have to thank me Bella, really. It's just something small that we did for you three." He said before our conversation grew silent. Edward sighed into the phone before ending the silence. "I miss you."

I knew Edward enough to know exactly what he missed. Being together without showing affection was taking a toll on both of us.

"I miss you too." I told him, slouching into a chair. "You have no idea how much."

"I really wanted us to be together tonight, just the two of us." Edward said softly, the disappointment evident in his voice. "It's just hard because my parents are here."

"I know, it's okay." I said, attempting to make him feel better. "But your parents aren't here forever. And it's not like you see them all the time now. There's barely any distance between us. We'll just have to wait longer."

Unfortunately, after hearing yet another sigh from Edward, I realized that there was much more I needed to do to raise his spirits.

"You know, I can make it worth the wait." I said, pulling my best seductive voice.

"Oh, really?" Edward asked curiously and I knew that my stunt was working.

"Uh huh." I told him, continuing to tempt him even more.

Okay, so I was being a tease. Get over it.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Edward replied and I could tell his voice was starting to get a little hoarse.

"Well," I began, pulling the first idea that came to my head. "There's this little store in the mall. I don't know if you've heard about it. It's called… Victoria? Victoria…"

"Victoria's Secret." Edward interrupted gruffly.

"That's the one." I gasped, acting surprised. "Well, they have the cutest little outfits there. I _might_ just have to go there and get one. Maybe I could even show it to you? If you want, of course."

I could hear Edward's breathing get slightly deeper. "Oh, I want."

"Well then, it's settled." I told him, looking over to see the time. If I didn't get everything ready soon, dinner would've been late. But I wasn't done playing with Edward yet, especially now when I had him in the perfect mood. "Oh, it's getting late. I should get going. I'll see you tonight Edward, love you!"

And before he could reply, I hung up my phone before he could catch my laughter.

I'll be honest, there was nothing more that I enjoyed but playing with Edward.

But, as we all know, Edward Cullen does not play fair.

And I was going to get it tonight.

**EPOV**

We entered the elevator of the girls' loft and pressed the button to their floor.

I already had enough ideas on how to get Bella back for her mischievous game before. And oh, was she in trouble.

But, I will admit, I was definitely looking forward to being with her again. Not to mention her promise for the next time we'd finally make love again. God, I never had this problem in my life before, wanting a girl this bad. But that was just one of the many effects Bella had on me. I'd just deal with it, because there was nobody else I wanted but Bella.

My parents saw that too.

When we got home the night before, my parents had gone on and on about how much they liked the girls. How perfect they were, not to mention extremely gorgeous. And I was secretly happy that they didn't pull out any more questions about Bella's past last night as well. I felt her get slightly uncomfortable when they first asked her, and her relief when the subject was changed.

But, I couldn't guarantee that our dinner tonight would be the same. I just hoped that everything would work out well this time. Dinners at the girls' didn't always turn out well.

As we made our way out of the elevator and opened the door to the girls' loft, Alice came up and greeted us.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Please, come in!" She exclaimed. I looked over at Jasper who had went up to her, pulling her into a hug and twirling her around. Her black dress flew in circles as she did.

"Please, Alice, the formalities aren't necessary. Esme and Carlisle are just fine, dear." My mother told her as Jasper set her down, hugging her and giving her a small kiss on the cheek. Alice's face lit up at my mother's welcome, and I couldn't help but smile as well.

Rosalie and Bella came down the stairs at that moment as well. Rosalie's dresses the last couple nights had been less… well, less 'Rosalie' really. Tonight she had on a strapless white and beige dress, though she still looked beautiful. As Emmett walked over to give her a kiss, I made my way to my own gorgeous girlfriend. She was wearing a short red and black dress, showing enough skin to make me ache. I wrapped my arm around her waist, settling my hand on the small of her back. I pulled my other hand up to her chin, resting a finger underneath it and pulling it up to connect her lips with mine.

I wasn't joking when I said that she was in trouble tonight. Tonight, I was upping my game.

As I pulled away from her, taking in the way her eyes glisten after we kiss, I heard my mom squeal from behind me. I turned around to see my father just pry himself from her lips and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"You boys were making me look bad. I had to do something." He shrugged, and we laughed as everyone exchanged more hugs.

And, just as last night, the way my mother embraced Bella was… beyond words. She already felt this strong connection to her, I knew that. But it was as if she _knew_. As if she knew about everything. I tried not to think about it too hard the night before, but as she wrapped her arms around Bella again, I just couldn't help it.

"Well, I hope you all are hungry." Bella told everyone as my mother released her.

"You know I am!" Emmett said loudly as Rosalie shook her head, attempting to stifle her laughter.

"Emmett, you're always hungry." Jasper noted as we all erupted in laughter yet again.

The girls made their way to the kitchen as everyone else sat down at the table. However, I found this the perfect opportunity for another step in the game. As Bella reached up to grab something out of the cupboard, I went up behind her, slipping one hand on her waist and the other on her reaching hand.

"Let me get that for you." I whispered in her ear, feeling her shiver slightly as our bodies were connected. I took the dish out of the cupboard, keeping my body as close to hers as I could, and set it down on the counter. "Need anything else?"

To my surprise, Bella nodded before reaching back up to the cupboard, bringing my hand along. I took another dish from the cupboard, and set it down on the counter beside the previous one.

"Is there anything else? Anything you _want_ Bella?" I breathed into her ear, pushing my hips slightly into her. I thought I'd almost lost when she bit her bottom lip and moaned quietly, shaking her head as well. "Well, if that's it then."

I pulled back and turned to take my seat at the dinner table, quite proud of how well I was doing. She started it, so it was about time I had my payback. And as I gazed over at her, seeing the look in her beautiful brown eyes, I knew that I had won that round.

But it was far from over.

The girls brought dinner out and, as usual, it was delicious. Bella's cooking was always incredible, and she always seemed to please everyone.

"Bella, this is amazing! How'd you learn to cook so well?" Mom asked her as she swallowed another bite of chicken.

I gazed at Bella beside me, who had nervously shifted slightly before looking up at my mother. "My mother, actually. I used to cook with her when I was little. It just kind of went from there."

I reached over for her hand and intertwined my fingers with hers, squeezing them slightly in hopes to ease her tension.

"Well, I'm impressed. She taught you well." Mom told her as she began cutting into her chicken.

Bella gave a small smile as she let out a deep breath. "Yeah, she did."

The rest of the dinner's conversation went quite smoothly. Emmett, as usual, kept up the comedic relief on his part. But, in all, everything was going great. It was obvious that my parents liked the girls. Just as obvious as how happy they were because of it.

After we'd finished eating, Emmett, Jasper and I got up and brought the dishes to the kitchen. The girls followed, putting them into the wash as Emmett and Jasper went back to their seats. I figured it was yet another time for a movement in the game. I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms as I watched Bella's every move.

"Do you want me to help you with the dishes, Bella?" I asked, throwing in a crooked smile for an extra point.

Little did I know that this battle was not in my favour.

"No, but there is something else I want you to help me with. If you're up for it, that is." She said as she began walking towards me, swaying her hips as she did. I tried to keep my cool by not moving my arms, but when she stopped in front of me and pressed herself on me, it was more than a challenge. And if that wasn't enough, she raised her hand to link a finger into the waist of my slacks. But, not before grazing my growing erection.

"That's not fair." I hissed, attempting to rearrange myself before she stopped me by pulling her fingers towards her and bringing my waist with her. I held my breath involuntarily as she leaned up, slightly brushing her lips across mine before she brought them to my ear.

"Sorry." Bella said, slightly pushing herself into my erection as I unsuccessfully stifled my groan. "I don't play fair."

With that, she unhooked her fingers from my waistband and walked to the fridge. As she took the cake out of the fridge, she looked over at me and winked before going back to the dining room table.

Another point for Bella.

**BPOV**

So far, so good.

No unexpected visitors. No disasters.

_And_, I was winning Edward's little seduction game.

Clearly, my last stunt had done a number on him, as he resorted to touching my thigh from sitting beside me. I wanted to tease him even more, so every time he went higher, thinking that I'd let him get what he want, I'd slide his hand away and push my dress back down.

I even snuck in a peak to look at his eyes, which were clearly burning in passion.

So, as much as I enjoyed the game, I couldn't deprive him of what he wanted. Hell, I may have wanted him even more.

Once I had put the last few dishes in the wash, I excused myself and Edward for a moment, saying that I had to show him something upstairs. It wasn't the greatest excuse, and I was pretty sure that everyone knew exactly what we were going upstairs for, but I could care less.

I led him to my bedroom and closed the door behind him as he walked in. As I turned, I felt his arms wrap around me roughly and his lips crash into mine. I wanted to feel him, every part of him, so I led him to my bed and pushed him down on it. I lifted my skirt up slightly to straddle his waist and continued to kiss him fiercely as he held onto my waist. His erection was obvious, but I didn't care. It was making me want him even more, just knowing how bad he wanted me. He made me feel so perfect, so beautiful, that at times I'd forget everything but him.

We continued to kiss intensely, as our mouths and tongues moved simultaneously together. I felt him raise his waist into me as he flipped me over to my back. I pushed his erection into me again and moving his lips from mine to my neck.

"Edward." I moaned, biting my lip so I wouldn't be too loud.

His lips left my neck and moved to my collarbone as his hands grazed the sides of my breasts.

"Say it. Again." He demanded gruffly as his lips were still connected with my skin.

I moaned his name again as he growled slightly in response. His lips went back to mine again, and I gave him everything.

I was his.

Just as our control was at it's all time low, and the clothes were about to come off, I heard my phone ring.

"Leave it." Edward mumbled against my lips and I complied. After a few moments, the ringing stopped and Edward's hand was moving up my thigh. Before I knew it, however, my phone rang again. This time, I pulled my lips away from Edward slightly.

"I'm sorry." I sighed as he did as well. "Let me just check who it is. It could be important."

Edward rolled off of me in defeat, lying on his back on my bed and running his hand through his bronze hair. I gave him one last, passionate kiss before I grabbed my phone off of my table and checked the ID.

Two missed calls.

_Alec._

I felt nervous as I saw that Alec had left a voicemail, wondering why he had even called. I assumed that maybe he had found out about Jacob coming here. Or something else. I turned back to face Edward, showing him my phone.

"It was Alec." I told him softly.

Edward's expression changed and he sat up on the bed. "Did he leave a message?"

I nodded in response and went to my voicemail, putting it on speaker so that Edward could hear too. Whatever Alec had to say, Edward should know. I had already told him everything about me and he was still right there beside me. So if I had to face anything else now, I would do it with Edward.

Alec's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Bella? Bella, listen, I need you to talk to me." Alec said frantically. "I don't know where you are, and I don't know if you're okay. I don't even know what happened. I went out for dinner with a potential client and I swear, she put some sort of drug in my drink or something. The next thing I knew, I was passed out in my bedroom and my files were everywhere. But not just any files, _your_ files. Everything about you living in Forks, your parents' accident, even on you now. Not only that, but there were files from Jacob Black's folder as well. And many papers from both were missing. I don't know what happened, and I don't know what Tanya did, but I'm scared. I'm scared for you, and I'm hoping that you're okay. Please, please just get in contact with me when you can. I'll wait for a bit, and if I don't hear from you then I'll call one of your roommates."

The message ended and I sat down on my bed, shocked at what Alec had said.

"It all makes sense now." I said as I shut my phone. "Everything Jacob said. Why he was here. It all makes sense."

"It was all Tanya." Edward growled from beside me and I nodded my head.

"She must've found him and lied to him about me. And, she told him where I lived so he could come here. That's why he did, and that's why he was saying all of those things about me still loving him. She manipulated him." I realized, shocked at how conniving Tanya was. If I felt anything for her now, it wasn't hatred. Rather, it was pity. She had been so enraged at Edward and I that she drugged Alec and brainwashed Jacob so he would come see me. And, not to mention hope that Edward would leave me.

Right.

Even I tried pushing him away and he wouldn't even budge.

Edward put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards him, kissing me slightly on my head. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head at his apology. "You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I just really don't understand what you saw in her."

"Bella," Edward said, lifting my chin with his fingers so that my eyes were locked on his. "I was blind before I met you. And if it wasn't for me, Tanya wouldn't have done any of this to you."

"No." I said, shaking my head again. "If it wasn't for you, I would still be continuing to live soulless and deprived of any happiness. Everything happens for a reason, Edward. What Tanya did brought us all closer. Even though I'd never wish for it to happen again, I'm really happy at how far we've gotten. All of us."

Edward sighed and nodded as he leaned in to kiss me softly before pulling back shortly. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too." I said, bringing my hand up to gently stroke his cheek. "I should call Alec back quickly though."

As I dialed Alec's number and spoke to him, calming him down and accepting his apologies, I had several thoughts going through my mind.

If this had happened to me a few months back, I would've been delirious. Through the weeks of being with Edward, I had obviously grown. I may not have gained all my past attributes back, but I did reacquire one.

My strength.

My vulnerability was gone. I was able to confront my emotions without breaking down, as with right then.

And after meeting Edward's parents and instantly connecting with them, feeling a sense of fulfillment at their accepting me with open arms, I was comfortable. It was obvious when Esme had asked me about my mom earlier in the dinner, and I had replied even with a smile.

I was getting better. Though I was far from where I wanted to be, I was moving towards where that unknown place was. And I knew that I'd be there when I got there.

So, here it was. The final decision.

I had to tell Esme and Carlisle.

And I would do it tonight.

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**Oh, that Tanya... loathe the demon... **


	28. Chapter 28 Help

**Alright, end that cliffie right there. Damn, I never realized how many I had in C&P... whoops? Haha  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Not me.**

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**EPOV**

All the while that Bella was in her room with my parents, the rest of us were sitting and waiting in the living room.

Well, more like everyone else was sitting.

I, on the other hand, was pulling my hair and pacing back and forth that I could've wore the hardwood floor.

I was nervous. God, I hadn't been so nervous in my life. I wanted to be there with Bella while she told my parents about her past and the accident, but she had insisted on doing it on her own. Something about it being easier that way. I didn't really understand what she meant but, knowing Bella, she could be pretty hard-headed. So, I let her go. And at the moment I heard that door close, I regretted it.

Aside from that, I had other things on my mind. First, I was furious about the whole situation with Tanya. And second, I was evidently aroused from being with her the short while before.

The teasing was one thing. But the hot make-out session after was the sexiest thing I'd ever experienced in my life.

Hell, I've been with girls. Pretty sure I've said that more than enough times. But the teasing and playfulness that I'd get with Bella turned me on to the point where I could barely function. I thought I was about to combust before she took me up to her bedroom. I pretty much pounced on her right when she closed the door. What does _that_ tell you?

But, as soon as I thought that our self-control was more than gone, everything was ruined yet again. I never, ever thought that Tanya could do something so disgusting, so vile to anyone. Much less Bella, in fact. Yes, she was cold and conniving. But _this_? This was just too much. Seriously, I'd never been pushed as far to want to hit a girl. But Tanya was almost, if not already there.

And just remembering how distraught Bella was that night that Jacob came by. The look on her face as she broke down in front of everyone. How upset she was. It just contributed to my anger.

However, the way Bella handled it sort of surprised me. In past events, she'd normally be extremely upset and I'd comfort her. This time, it was more the other way around, if that. She'd been the calm one of the two. She had control over everything.

And then I thought that maybe things were actually going well.

That, even though I thought it had been almost impossible, Bella was getting better.

So, that was sort of a reliever for me, though it would take much more.

Either way, I was still in the living room with my brothers, Rosalie and Alice. Still pacing. And trying not to tear my hair too hard that I'd pull out a few strands. It felt like forever had passed until I heard the sounds of footsteps coming towards us from upstairs. As I whipped around to look up, I saw my mother begin to descend down the stairs with her arm around Bella and my father following them.

She had been crying, as it was noticeable with her tear-stricken face. I was expecting her to be upset, but it still hurt to see her like that. Though Bella looked as if she was doing better than she had when she told us, it was evident how sensitive she was to her past. And, as my mother helped her down the last step, I saw that she had been crying as well. My mother put both of her hands on Bella's cheeks and kissed her forehead lightly before letting her go, and my father followed by giving her a tight embrace as well. Before I had the chance to hold her in my arms, my parents stopped me.

"Edward," Dad said. "Would you please accompany your mother and I to the hallway? We have some things to discuss with you."

I looked over at Bella again, who gave me a small half-smile and nod before Emmett took her in his arms. Though I wished they were mine, I knew that she'd be okay until I returned. So, I followed my parents out the door and closed it behind me.

However, what had surprised me was how instantly both of my parents broke down. My mother, who had seemingly controlled her tears, was now letting them flow effortlessly. And my father now had one arm across his chest with his other hand pinching the bridge of his nose. I stood there, waiting for the tense silence to end as my parents attempted to manage themselves.

"That poor girl." Mom sobbed quietly as my father put his arm around her shoulder in comfort. "There's so much pain in her, I have no idea how she's made it this far."

"I know." I said softly, not able to answer them completely.

"Edward, the events that Bella had gone through were extremely tragic." My father told me. "Something that terrible can affect the human mind for as long as it can live. In Bella's case, they're still fresh in her mind. You've obviously understood that through your time being with her."

"Yeah, I have." I answered, nodding my head at his explanation. "But she's gotten a lot better."

"No, Edward. She hasn't." Mom broke in and began to wipe her cheeks from the last few tears. "And she won't get any better like this."

I looked hard at my mother and back at my father as their firm expressions were in place. "I don't understand."

"Edward, what your mother is trying to say is that with Bella's situation, she won't get any better on her own." Dad told me, explaining what I had basically realized already. "We suggested this to her, and now we're passing it to you."

I stood there anxiously, waiting for my parents to make everything clear for me considering my obvious confusion.

"We both suggested that Bella see a psychologist." Dad finally said.

My eyes shot open in shock as I took in my father's words. Never had I even thought of Bella needing professional help because I assumed that, even after the many years after the accident, she didn't need it. Or want it, whatever. But now, as I stood there deliberating their suggestion, I was hit with mixed feelings.

If Bella wanted to see a psychologist, then I was all up for it. I'd even go with her when she wanted me to. I'd do anything, really. As long as she did get better.

On the other hand, seeing a psychologist would bring up more of her past and maybe even hurt her even more. If just telling someone brief details of what had happened would make her upset, I couldn't even imagine how it would be if she explained every single detail.

But, in the end, I would agree with whatever decision she would make.

"And what'd Bella say?" I asked.

My mother and father looked at each other hesitantly before turning back to me.

"Bella has made it clear that she was not interested in opening up to a stranger." Mom said softly, making me realize that I wasn't the only uncertain one.

"But, this is why we've come to you now." Dad added. "If Bella is to get better, she will need professional help. And, if she isn't comfortable with someone that she doesn't know, that can be adjusted."

The idea ran through my mind several times before I fully comprehended what my father meant exactly. And as I did, my gaze locked onto my mother.

"You want to help her?" I half-whispered as the truth came out, though it was better than what I had expected.

"Yes, I do." My mother told me, attempting to give me a reassuring smile as she did. "And that's what I told her, but she is still hesitating."

"What we need from you, Edward, is to help her with her decision." My father continued. "It's natural for her not to be comfortable, but I highly recommend that she takes this. It's a very good opportunity that she'll benefit from in the long run."

I pursed my lips, going over everything my parents had said. Even though Bella was uncomfortable and hesitant, this would be good for her. Not to mention the fact that she'd be seeing my mother rather than a complete stranger. And it's obvious how much my mother liked her. That'd at least comfort her.

And, I wanted her to get better. I knew she did too, but she was just scared. What my parents knew that I'd be a vital piece in this; if there was anyone that'd convince Bella, it was probably me.

I had to do everything I could.

"I'll do whatever it takes."

**BPOV**

Led by Emmett, I sat on the couch beside him as he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. His huge body was so warm and soothing, I couldn't help but take advantage of the situation. As much as I longed for Edward, I was never alone. And that was something I was entirely grateful for.

"How're you feeling?" Rosalie asked me as she kneeled down in front of me, taking my hands in hers.

"It was a little easier than before." I sighed, straightening up while Emmett rubbed my shoulder. "It was probably because I didn't go in full detail, but still. I hate even talking about it."

"You didn't have to do this Bella." Jasper told me before sitting on my other side. "I mean, if this was too soon –"

"No." I interrupted, shaking my head. "I had to tell your parents. It wasn't fair that they were sitting in the dark about everything. To be honest, I wasn't planning on telling them tonight until Alec called me."

The expressions on everyone's faces changed immediately as I began to tell them about what happened in my bedroom. Well, except the intense grope session with Edward.

"When Edward and I were upstairs, Alec called but I missed it. He left me a voicemail message, basically freaking out and wondering where I was. Turns out that Tanya drugged him or something and went into his office, getting as much information about me and Jacob as he could. That's why he came here, thinking that I forgave him."

I felt Edward tense beside me as well as the slight pain as Rosalie gripped my hands. Though the reaction from Alice was much more intense.

"That disgusting, filthy bitch!" She shrieked while the rest of us attempted to shush her so Carlisle and Esme wouldn't hear her screaming profanities. "If I ever see that broad again, I'll rip her to shreds."

I couldn't help but be a bit surprised. I mean, I was used to hearing things like that from Rosalie. But from Alice? Well, there's a first for everything.

"I don't blame you, Alice. I'm about to smack the bitch too." Emmett mumbled though my attention was fixed on Rosalie. She sat in front of me, pursing her lips and staring down at my hands. It made me nervous and worried at the same time.

"Rose? Are you okay?" I asked her as I attempted to take my hands from her grasp but failed. "What's wrong?"

"No, I'm not fucking okay." She said, breathing heavily. "But unless you want your entire floor to hear me flip, I'm going to need to calm down. Not talking and trying to think of happy shit is doing its deal on me."

Involuntary, I half-smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Catching her off guard, I pulled my hands away from hers and gave her the tightest hug I could.

"I love you." I whispered into her ear, overcome with some strange emotion that I couldn't explain entirely at the moment. The words just flooded as I held Rosalie. "And I love everything you've done for me. But this anger you're holding because of Tanya isn't helping anyone. Just know that I'm here, and I'm okay. Rose, if it weren't for you and Alice, I would've been long gone by now. So please, for me?"

Rosalie's deep breathing had softened as I poured myself out to her and as I pulled away I saw that I had made a positive effect on her. Though her eyes were slightly glistening from unshed tears, Rosalie nodded in agreement and smiled before pulling me into her embrace.

"Seriously," Alice chimed from beside us. "Did the world just stop or something? Last time I checked, Rosalie was the raging psycho and I was the sweet one."

Alice had successfully eased the tension and sent us all into quiet laughter, though our moods had not lightened much. Not that they would be for quite some time, but a little laughter is what we all needed at the moment.

Just then, the door opened and Esme, Carlisle and Edward came into the lounge. I tried to analyze Edward's expression as he came towards us. He barely looked over at me, but I could tell that there was something on his mind. Of course, I had an idea of what it was considering the fact that Esme and Carlisle had taken him outside to speak to him in private.

After I told them about my parents' accident, they told me that it'd be better for me to seek psychological help.

Seriously? Fuck that.

Yes, it had been on my mind for a while now. Hell, I know I said I would need it. But after they had suggested it to me, I was completely turned off by it. As past events have shown, when I even think about my parents I go into some maniac breakdown. I was extremely embarrassed when it happened in front of my friends, but now I'd have to relive everything in front of some random person who'd just use my tears to write some crap about my life? No way.

So, yes, that was a valid point. Up and until Esme said that she'd be my psychologist.

The stranger part was out, though I basically just met Esme. But we had this connection. And what that connection did was make me even more hesitant about it. I didn't want her to sit there while I threw everything at her. What'd happen if one day I just snap and go at it with her? Or if I said something unconsciously to her, and immediately regretted it after? Not to mention the fact that I didn't want her to think differently of me after she'd hear of my rebellious teenage life. It just made me uncomfortable

So what I'm trying to say now is, no matter if I need it, I wasn't going to get professional help. I was not a mental case, and I really didn't want to be treated like one.

And now, I was wondering about what Carlisle and Esme had told Edward. If they said something that I didn't know, or if they told him how big of a freak I was. Okay, second one was maybe a touch unrealistic, but I couldn't help it. I had no idea what was going on.

"Alice. Rosalie." Esme said, looking at each of them. "We still haven't seen the second floor of this beautiful loft. Would you mind showing all of us?"

Rosalie pulled her arms from me and stood up, straightening her dress as she did. "Of course, we'd love to."

"Jasper and Emmett, you boys come too." She told them, signaling them to get up themselves and follow the crowd up the stairs. All that was left in the lounge was Edward and I.

I was still sitting on the sofa as Edward stood in front of me, putting his hand through his hair and fidgeting nervously. My heart raced as I watched him, unsure of his actions. Finally his eyes lifted, meeting mine and immediately softening as he took in my confusion. Not only that, but I'm sure he could tell that I was slightly hurt by the moment. The result I expected after I'd first told Edward of my past was being seen right in front of me then. Edward sighed and shook his head before sitting down beside me as I watched him all the while. I waited for him to speak though he instead surprised me by lifting me onto his lap and holding me to his chest tightly.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." He muttered into my hair before kissing it lightly.

"You're not the crazy one." I mumbled softly, instantly regretting my few words as they came out.

Rather than Edward disagree with me as usual, I was pushed away slightly from his chest as he positioned me to straddle his lap.

Dear God, his parents were only a few metres away from us and I'm straddling their son.

This wouldn't be good to walk in on.

I attempted to adjust myself into a more lady-like way, but Edward wouldn't budge.

"Edward, this is so inappropriate right now." I hissed and tried to move again with no success.

"I don't care." He said firmly, throwing me completely off by seeing this new side of him. "I want you to look at me and say that again. Tell me you're crazy."

I sat there frowning as I stared at him, slightly taken off guard by my heavy, erratic breathing.

"Fine. I'm crazy, Edward. Are you happy?" I told him annoyingly. I didn't enjoy being harsh with Edward, but this just wasn't the time or place. He was always so gentle with me so seeing this was new and highly uncomfortable.

"No, I'm not happy. I'm sick of hearing you say that, it's worthless. You're not crazy. You're not horrible. You're not a bad person, Bella. You need to stop." Edward told me, sending chills through my body as his piercing eyes dug into me. They were so passionate and so deep, I fell right into them.

I sat there, still frozen from just about everything as the silence grew before Edward continued.

"Bella," he sighed, easing the tension in his body and reaching up to stroke my cheek softly with his hand. "I'm sorry. But you need to understand how unhealthy it is for you to think like that. I've sat here enough times hearing you put yourself down without saying a word. It was spontaneous, but my actions now were well needed. You can't keep doing this."

I didn't bother explaining myself, but rather end my urge for him. I trailed my arm from the bottom of his chest slowly to settle on the back of his neck before leaning forward and placing my lips on his. Though our moment was something that needed to be discussed, we both needed each other's touch right then. Edward's lips moved in synch with mine, matching every movement I made. As I pulled away my lips from his, I leaned my forehead onto his so he wouldn't see the new tears making their way down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I said softly, hoping that my voice wouldn't crack and expose me. "I honestly am, Edward. But, I can't help it. These things are just embedded into me. And even though I try to ignore those thoughts, they just never leave. Most of the time I just say them unconsciously."

As I waited for his answer, I was given his lips once again. The longing that I felt as Edward kissed me passionately was unbearable and made me want him immensely at that point. All too soon, his lips left mine again.

"I understand what you're saying Bella." He said as he moved himself away from me, wiping the remaining tears from my cheeks. "But you need to realize that you shouldn't be thinking of anything like this. And, if you really want to get better, these all have to be gone."

I knew what he was trying to tell me. To take Carlisle and Esme's suggestion of doing sessions with Esme. And I did, I really _did_ want to get better. But at the same time, I couldn't help but feel the way I did about it. Edward wanted me to do this and a small part of me did as well. That part wanted to be normal. Wanted to feel like a real person again. And never wanted to live like I had before.

But, a big part of me was scared. Terrified, really. Unsure of what to expect, and insecure of the results of doing this.

"Edward," I breathed. "I'm scared."

"It's okay, Bella. Everything's going to be okay." Edward said softly before stroking my cheek gently and connecting his lips with mine again.

As much as Edward tried to comfort me and as much as I felt so complete when we were together like this, my thoughts were still directed towards my fear.

And for once in my life, I was lost and unsure of what I would do.

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**So how do YOU feel about Mommy Cullen helping out Bella?**


	29. Chapter 29 Self Conclusion

**Kleenex warning... possibly. Again, song choice is up on the profile page, so check it out! Spill Canvas is amazing. =)**

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**BPOV**

The next few days went by in a blur.

Carlisle and Esme had left and gone back to Seattle.

The boys were working all weekend, so we didn't see them as often as we had. For Edward and I, it was mostly speaking on the phone.

Rosalie was busy with her new modeling gig and Alice was busy with her recent increase in clients.

I, on the other hand, had nothing to do but head over to NYU a couple times to get back into my teaching assistant job. Other than that, there was just me and the loft.

I found myself keeping myself busy as best as I could. I cleaned more than I ever had since I'd moved in. I was more than ahead with my teaching lectures and grading papers. Keeping busy made my uneventful days pass by faster.

But most of all, it kept my mind off of everything.

Mostly, Carlisle and Esme's offer.

Although, as much as I couldn't help it, my mind would always drift to it. Once I'd finally think I knew my answer, I'd pull back and be lost yet again. It made me frustrated and made me think of possible complications from it. Complications that even brought me to tears.

Specifically, the thought of losing Edward throughout it.

And once I thought of losing Edward, I remembered my parents again.

This was the thing. Even though I wasn't even getting professional help, I felt everything as if I was. I sat every day reliving each moment of my past and all the equally unforgettable moments recently.

And it scared me. Much less, it terrified me.

I didn't want to feel like this. I didn't want to feel unstable and weak.

So this was it. If I took up Esme's offer and had her offer me sessions with her, I would feel possibly the second worst emotional pain in my life. But if I didn't, I'd just revive everything again day by day. It would be just the same.

But there was one significant difference.

If I did see Esme, there was a chance that I would get better. That I would be able to live freely without horrible, negative thoughts every moment of my life. I could love Edward the way he deserved to be. I'd be the friend that mine deserved to have.

So that was it.

That one, small chance.

Now I had to figure out if I would take it or not.

**EPOV**

Enough was enough.

It had been way too long since I'd seen Bella. Touched her. Watched how cute she was when she blushed. Felt her lips on mine…

God, this was insane. Not to mention the fact that we might've ran out of cold water at the condo if I didn't do something. Anything, really, to just be with her.

It didn't help when I had to work, or that Bella would be teaching while I was free. It just seemed as if something was keeping us apart. And it bothered me a lot. I heard the change in Bella's voice each time I'd call her, which told me that I wasn't the only one bothered by it.

Not only that, I knew that there was something else on her mind. It was obvious that my parents' offer was making her distant from me, and I figured it might've been the same with the others as well. Bella seemed to act that way involuntarily in that sort of situation. But whenever I'd ask her about it, she'd shrug it off and change the topic instantly. It was as if she didn't want to talk about it at all, making it one of her least priorities. Or, she was trying her best to ignore it and make it disappear.

But that wouldn't happen. And, as I had told her the other night, I wasn't going to let her throw everything away.

So, this was it. I took action. Spontaneous, yes, but it needed to be done.

And now, I was knocking on the door to the girls' loft, silently praying that Bella would open the door. Instead, I was greeted by Alice as the door opened.

"Hey Edward!" She said sweetly, smiling as I pulled her into a hug. "It feels like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Tell me about it." I sighed when I let her go, raking my fingers through my hair. "There's been so much going on. With everyone, I mean. I just couldn't deal with it today."

Alice looked hard at me, raising her eyebrow as if it were an analysis, before her smile returned.

"She's upstairs."

**BPOV**

I sat on the floor in front of my bed, guitar on my lap while I played softly as Alice told me details on her new clients.

Truth was, I wasn't able to comprehend any of it.

I played my chords quietly, unaware of exactly what I was playing, but rather just letting my fingers speak their own words.

It wasn't until Alice snapped in front of my face when I stopped playing.

"Sorry Alice." I told her, shaking my head from its blurred thoughts. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying how big of a huge bitch you were, hoping that maybe you were only tuning out my work details." Alice replied, sighing as she began to pull off her designer heels. "But it turns out you were tuning me out instead."

I turned myself slightly to where Alice was sitting on my bed and grabbed her hands as they left her now undone heels. "I'm sorry, Alice, really. It's not that I'm not interested. I've just got so much going through my head as it is, it's like nothing else goes through anymore."

Letting out a deep breath, Alice shifted her hands to intertwine one with mine and settling her other on our conjoined ones. "About what Esme and Carlisle said?"

"Yeah." I agreed, nodding my head. "It's like I'm completely lost. When I think I've made my decision, I fall right back to where I was before. I don't know what to do."

"I know, Bella." She said, reassuringly stroking the top of my hand. "It's going to be hard, whether you take up their offer or not. But you need to make the decision on what you want, and not what you think anyone else would want from you. Either way, I'll still love you and be here for you no matter what."

I looked up at Alice and smiled as she returned mine, grateful yet again of the amazing support I had.

"Thanks Alice. For everything. Hopefully after some more soul searching I'll finally figure out what I want."

"You will Bells, you will." Alice said, squeezing my hand softly, then letting them go. She grabbed her heels off of the ground and stood up before walking out of my bedroom. After she'd left, my hands went back to my guitar.

Alice had left me with more to think about.

It was true that I'd been wondering how a change could possibly benefit those around me. I loved Rosalie and Alice entirely, and had my entire life to repay them with for everything they'd done for me. If there was a chance I'd get better, I could finally do for them what they had for me. I could watch them get married without being upset at the connection to my parents. I'd be there through their pregnancy, being void of the emotions of my own childbirth and the love my parents gave to me.

I could be normal.

I could be their support.

I didn't want to be a burden anymore. As terrible as it is to say that, it was true. That's how I had felt, anyways.

I continued to play each chord slowly before the gentle knocking on my door stopped my fingers yet again.

"Sorry Alice. No change yet." I mumbled, not bothering to look up to her figure at the door.

"Change in what?" Another voice answered, much different from Alice's. Though I already knew who it was before my head snapped up.

"Edward." I said softly.

As if my longing towards him had been at its peak, Edward looked as stunning as ever. Simply wearing jeans and my favourite v-neck t-shirt, I was anxious to just feel him. To look into his deep, green eyes. To run my hand through his silky hair. To kiss him again…

I wanted him more than life itself.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, instead of greeting him like a normal girlfriend would. Then again, I was much less than normal.

I watched him as he walked over and sat on the floor by my side.

"I was in the neighbourhood." He said as I saw the corner of his mouth lift up into a grin. "What change were you talking about?"

"Alice and I were talking about what your parents had told me before." I told him hesitantly, knowing how he felt about the entire situation. I purposely changed the subject numerous times when we would talk on the phone. "I was telling her about how I was still undecided. When you knocked, I thought it was her checking up again to see if I'd figured it out yet."

"Hmm." Edward sighed, entering us into a brief silence. Before ending it himself, he looked over to my lap. "Wow, you weren't kidding about the guitar. I've never seen one up close."

"Yeah, another piece of my own support system." I laughed as I went back to playing my guitar.

"You know," Edward said softly. "I've still never heard you play."

I looked over at his perfectly molded face, attempting to see through him to see if he was serious or not. His eyes never left mine, and they were as piercing as ever. He was truly interested in hearing me play.

"I'm not that good." I grumbled as I gazed away from Edward, feeling the heat on my face as I blushed. "You might be disappointed."

I felt Edward's fingers under my chin, lifting my face back towards his. The same passion that was in his eyes our last night together had returned.

"You could never disappoint me, Bella. Ever." He said, sending my heart into frantic flutters. His fingers left my skin, leaving me to compose myself enough to finally play for him.

I gazed down at my lingering fingers, unsure of what I would play. The occasional time I would play, I'd do it to a song that could explain the current feelings I had. Right now, I was unsure of my life. But I was with Edward. Somewhere I wanted to be for as long as I could live.

My fingers moved themselves across the guitar strings as I began to play.

_Fade in, start the scene  
Enter beautiful girl  
But things are not what they seem  
As we stand at the edge of the world_

As I first listened to this song, it had brought me to the day that I'd first met Edward. The night before, I had one of the most terrifying of all my nightmares. That was also the first day that I'd wanted to make a change as I agreed to go with the girls to Midnight Sun. I was still living lifeless, though when I first took my look at him, I felt an unknown spark light up inside of me. I didn't know what it was then, but it all made sense now.

__

Excuse me, sir,  
But I have plans to die tonight  
Oh, and you are directly in my way  
And I bet you're gonna say it's not right  
My reply:  
Excuse me, miss  
But do you have the slightest clue  
Of exactly what you just said to me  
And exactly who you're talking to?

She said, I don't care, you don't even know me  
I said, I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully

_Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion  
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion  
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it  
No matter how unbearable this misery gets_

I remembered the little things Edward would do to just keep me by his side, and how heartfelt he was when we were together. He treated me as if I was extremely fragile which, though it made me feel weak, it was true. The smallest connections to my parents sent me into a whirl of emotions and pain.

But he was there.

Through everything. Through my first breakdown outside of Midnight Sun to my very side right then as I played my heart out. He'd always tell me he'd never leave me and I would never believe him because I thought it was impossible for someone to feel that way about me. But I was a fool.

Not anymore. 

_You make it sound so easy to be alive  
But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day  
When everything inside me has died?  
My reply:  
Trust me, girl  
I know your legs are pleading to leap  
But I offer you this easy choice  
Instead of dying, living with me_

I was so empty before I'd met him. There was nothing left in me. Life had been a meaningless need in my every day actions. I didn't need life or happiness or anything beneficial, rather to live soulless. It was a miracle that I had enough to just live through every day, though the pain I would go through from my loss would be embedded into my every action. The smallest things would bring a storm of memories to me. I'd do whatever I could to hide out somewhere before I'd break down into tears.

I was broken in a million pieces.

And when I told him that, Edward was still there.

He was willing to put me back together.

And slowly, piece by piece, he did.

__

She said, Are you crazy? You don't even know me.  
I said, I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully

Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion  
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion  
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it  
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

_I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough  
And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough  
I could stand here all night trying to convince you  
But what good would that do?  
My offer stands, and you must choose_

My tears began to gather as I remembered pushing him away.

And just when I had thought that my painful task was complete, I walked down the steps of my own home to see him standing there in front of me. My heart wanted me to be enough for him, but I knew I couldn't. There was no way that I would be enough of a person to fully deserve someone like Edward. So I pushed again. I pushed and pushed, but Edward would follow me effortlessly. I'd cry in his arms while he'd kiss me tenderly, holding me for as long as he could. And for as long as I needed him.

I knew that my life wouldn't get better unless I chose to change it. To change myself. But I couldn't do it on my own. I had realized that, without Edward, I might've not been able to go on living then. Rosalie and Alice did all they could for me, and they had supported me for as long as they had, but there was only so much left for me. And though it hurt, I couldn't bear to be without Edward. Now, I knew he'd never leave my side. Through my suffering and happiness, he'd be there through it all.

So I gave in.

_All right, you win, but I only give you one night  
To prove yourself to be better than my attempt at flight  
I swear to God if you hurt me I will leap  
I will toss myself from these very cliffs  
And you'll never see it coming.  
Settle, precious, I know what you're going through  
Just ten minutes before you got here I was gonna jump too_

I thought there was no way that Edward could help me, but I was wrong. I knew that there was no way I was really alive until I had met Edward. I was nothing before I'd met him. And when he'd tell me the same, I doubted it.

But now, as I sat beside him on the hard floor, I gazed away from my guitar to look into his eyes. As they always were when he'd look at me. And I knew that was it. I was complete. There was nothing left to worry about, or be concerned about. There was nowhere else I would rather be.

I heard my voice slightly crack as I sang the last four lines of the song entirely to Edward.

_Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion  
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion  
You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it  
No matter how unbearable this misery gets_

Life was extremely short, as I should've realized before in my life, though it had hit me now. My parents wouldn't have wanted me to grieve over their death every day of my life. Their memories would always be alive in me until the day I'd die. But until then, I had to make the most out of my life.

It had taken four years.

I felt Edward's fingers lace into mine as I lost myself into him.

I was his.

He was mine.

And after four terribly long years, I was ready.

I had finally made my choice.

And I wouldn't turn back again.

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**Finally, right? Fingers crossed things work out from here?**


	30. Chapter 30 First Session

**Okay, we're almost there. Again, I apologize to those who already had C&P on their alerts and have received the bajillion e-mails on updates. I honestly DID try to get editing done, but I can't juggle it all. So if you're pissed that your e-mail inbox was flooded tonight, SORRY!  
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I am definitely not Stephenie Meyer.**

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**BPOV**

Esme, though trying to remain subtle, was more than happy when Edward had called her and told her of my decision.

Yes, that's right. I agreed to their suggestion.

Esme Cullen was going to be my psychiatrist.

Weird, I know.

I brushed the awkward feelings aside, as well as a bit of my still evident fear, and sat further into the couch. Edward had called Esme two days before and she had immediately booked herself a flight down here, rescheduling everything else she had. I will admit, I felt guilty for making her come all the way to New York from Seattle. She was throwing everything away in a heartbeat for me.

And who was I to her?

Yes, I was clearly dating her youngest son, but what else? We'd only been dating for a short while, though it was more than obvious how head over heels we were about each other, but that was it. There may have been that weird connection between Esme and I, but I didn't imagine it'd be strong enough for her to have done as much for me as she had so far. It was extremely unexpected. But when I'd tried to apologize to Edward, he ignored it.

"You have nothing to apologize for." He had said the night before. "My mother is more than happy to do this for you."

So that was it, and here I was. Sitting in the lounge of my loft, waiting for Edward and Esme's arrival.

And my insides felt like they were doing Olympic gymnastics.

You know, like those little girls who can twirl and somersault like nobody's business? Yeah, imagine that. Not good.

The slight knocking on the door, though sounded much louder due to the dead silence in the empty loft, broke me out of my thoughts. Edward and Esme were here.

_It's now or never._

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and went to open the door to be greeted by the two of them.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again sweetheart." Esme said kindly, smiling as she pulled me into her warm, motherly embrace. Instinctually, I returned it and closed my eyes for a moment as I attempted to experience the moment. Esme's hugs reminded me terrifyingly of my mother's. Though it had almost brought me to tears before, the happiness I felt tonight was odd. The maternal connection with Esme was becoming stronger every time I would see her. But strangely, it wasn't something that I was able to give up. Rather, it was something that I felt I'd fight for to keep forever.

Weird how things had changed so fast.

All too soon, Esme released me from her grasp and I opened my eyes, finally returning her warm smile. Though, of course, it wasn't as warm as I'd hoped considering the smile hadn't reached my eyes fully.

"Thank you for coming, Esme." I told her, slightly stepping sideways to give her way into the loft. "I'm sorry for all the trouble."

Yeah, I apologized again. I already said I couldn't help feeling guilty. Even if Edward had convinced me otherwise.

"Don't be silly, Bella. There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now." Esme said before walking into the loft and setting her purse onto the dining room table. Immediately, my attention diverted to the one person who I couldn't thank enough for getting me as far I had now.

"Hey." I said as I intertwined my fingers in Edward's, squeezing slightly as I attempted to smile again as I had before.

"Hey." He repeated, grinning before leaning down and placing his lips on mine.

Edward's kisses, though I'd obviously kissed him many times before, always felt new every time. The electric jolt would always surge throughout me and immediately make me crave for more. Of course, PDA isn't the most attractive thing. But we couldn't help it. I needed Edward just as much as he needed me, and I felt that wouldn't be something to change anytime soon.

"Have you been sleeping okay?" Edward said softly as he pulled away slightly, though close enough for his lips to brush against mine as he spoke.

"Kind of. It'd be better with you, though." I said immediately without thinking and blushed once I had. I never had that craving feeling for sex until I'd met Edward. Well, it did make sense considering I hadn't been with anyone intimately since I met Edward. Hell, he was my first. Now that I thought of it, the thoughts of that night made me want him even more. It had been too long.

Edward cupped my cheek in his hand before kissing me once again, though there was evidently more need in this kiss. And of course, just as I'd gotten into it, he pulled away.

"I know, I feel the same way." He whispered, surprising me with his now-gruff voice. "Soon, I promise."

I nodded my head, licking my bottom lip unconsciously but more than satisfied when I tasted Edward on it. I figured it was better to ignore the obvious temptation in front of me and head over to the lounge, where Esme had begun to get comfortable. The cool October air was clear in New York and she had brought a heavier coat with her to keep herself warm, which was now draped along the back of the couch. As I led Edward into the lounge, she looked up and her expression changed into a somber one.

"Edward, I'm sorry honey." Esme said slowly before sitting down onto the couch. "But I would prefer Bella's first session to be an individual one."

I turned my head up to look at Edward, whose smile was now mimicking my previous, unfulfilled one.

"I understand. I'll be back to pick you up, then." He told Esme before turning toward me and giving me kissing me softly. "I'll see you then, Bella."

Before I could walk him out, Esme called me to sit in the lounge with her, to which Edward nodded and made his way out of the loft. And I missed him already.

God, this love crap sucks.

But it was something I'd never give up. Not in a million years.

I sat on the couch across from Esme, and my nervousness immediately caught up with me. I wasn't sure of what to expect, really. I figured Esme was going to be as professional as she would, even though she was with me anyways. But to be honest, I didn't want it any other way. If she held back on me, then there was a possibility that I wouldn't get better at all. And that wasn't something I wanted to risk.

"Are you comfortable, Bella?" Esme asked me as she pulled out a small, black notebook from her bag.

I nodded my head as my eyes remained on the notebook, realizing how real everything was at that moment. Everything that would be discussed between Esme and I would have obviously been documented in there. My whole life, all of the shit I'd gone through, would fit in that small book. It seemed unrealistic to me. It felt like a textbook sized notebook would've been more appropriate.

"Alright. I want to go over a few things before we get started though, if you don't mind." Esme told me.

"That's fine."

"First of all, I want you to know that I will be completely professional with you, no matter our personal relationship." She explained, proving my previous issue true. "Also, keeping that in mind, everything we discuss will be confidential. I will not expose anything unless you give me your word."

Esme paused, giving me a moment to take everything in. It all seemed right to me. I didn't want anyone knowing what exactly was spoken about during our sessions. The only thing that was going to be changed about that, however, was Edward. I wasn't exactly sure how I'd tell him everything that occurred during our sessions at that moment, but it was something that I was slowly figuring out. Either way, I would speak to Edward about our sessions. That included the whole thing, or just parts.

My change in expression signaled Esme to continue.

"Now that that's settled, let's begin with our first session."

**EPOV**

I could barely drive properly back to Bella's place.

My mom had called less than a half hour later for me to pick her up. Not only that, but to have Emmett drive over in his car as well to pick her up. She had said that she wanted me to stay over at Bella's. Mom might've not given me a reason, but I already knew. The fact that she was there for an extremely short time than expected not to mention the sound of her voice when she had called told me all I needed to know.

Bella needed me.

And the first session hadn't gone as well as we'd all planned.

Luckily, I made it to Bella's loft in record time and without any casualties. I looked in my rearview to see if Emmett was able to keep up with me, and breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled in right behind me. Before I knew it, I had ran up to the elevator door, frantically pressing the UP button.

"Relax, little bro. It won't come any faster if you keep pressing the button." Emmett said as he caught up behind me.

I sighed again, possibly for the hundredth time in the last hour, and leaned back on the elevator door. "Emmett, I can't help but feel bad for pushing her into this. I mean, I wasn't expecting some major breakthrough. But then again, I wasn't expecting _this_."

"Edward, you gotta cut yourself some slack." Emmett told me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "You didn't push Bella into anything. I mean, come on, we both know how stubborn she can be. She made this decision on her own. All you did was guide her."

I took a deep breath and nodded my head, knowing that Emmett was right. But I couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt.

"Plus," Emmett continued, "you don't know what happened. Maybe Mom just wants you to hang out with Bella for a while. She might just want to talk to you about it. Either way, you gotta chill out. It won't help Bella seeing you like this."

He was right again, but that wasn't exactly what was strange.

It was weirding me out how Emmett was the mature one.

And before I made a comment about it, the elevator doors opened and the two of us walked in. I took the short moment to take deep breaths and relax my muscles, though thinking of Bella the entire time. That wasn't going to change anytime soon, anyways.

Finally, reaching the door, I knocked on it. Before the third knock, my mother opened the door. And even through her attempted cover, I could see that she was upset.

"Hi sweethearts." She said, smiling without it really reaching her eyes. "Edward, Bella's waiting for you upstairs. Emmett and I will see you at home."

"Okay Mom." I pulled her into a hug, thanking her for everything she'd done before she headed back to the elevator with Emmett. Taking in one final breath, I made my way into Bella's loft, closing the door before I walked upstairs to her bedroom.

Bella was lying on her side on her bed, fingers grazing the top of a small, antique-looking chest when I walked in. Her attention remained on it until she heard my slight knocking on her door, to which she looked up at me and gave me a small smile. She shifted back a little on her bed, bringing the chest with her, and tapped the newly vacant spot. I didn't bother thinking over the fact how nervous I was already, not to mention now considering she wanted me on her bed.

On her fucking _bed_.

You're kidding me.

Anyways, I made sure not to hesitate before taking the spot beside her, sitting by her feet and turning my upper body to face her.

"Lie down." Bella requested softly.

Yeah, I was screwed.

_Relax, Cullen. _

I did as she asked, propping a pillow beside hers and leaning against it. I began to put my arm around her, but she had already beaten me to it by raising her head before my arm set in its spot. It strangely felt so natural, her in my arms, that I wasn't exactly bothered anymore. I adjusted my arm so that my hand was free to stroke her soft hair. We didn't speak for a few minutes, taking in the silence as a moment of recovery. I ignored the fact that her eyes were still swollen a bit, obviously from crying, but the silence seemed to be easing her. Though, all the while, her fingers remained on the small chest.

"I want to show you something." I heard Bella whisper and I looked down to see her set the chest on her stomach before closing the small gap between us that it'd occupied. Her fingers remained on the front for a moment before she took in a deep breath and opened it.

It was filled with many different things – photos, newspaper clippings, jewelry and also a set of keys on top.

"When I left Forks, I brought nothing with me." Bella explained softly. "I didn't want to remember anything about Forks because it'd bring me back to my parents' accident. So, all I did was keep some things that reminded me of my parents. It's been in this chest for years. I haven't even looked at it this whole time."

I took in all that she'd said, realizing how hard it must've been for her to put everything into this small chest. Also, how hard it must've been for her to open it now. I let her lead everything, not wanting to ask questions until she was ready.

Bella pulled out a small photo of a man and woman. "This," she pointed to the woman, "is Renee, my mom. And this," she pointed to the man next, "is my dad, Charlie."

I could definitely see the resemblance between Renee and Bella. They had the same face and the same colour hair, though Renee's was shorter. When I saw Renee's smiling face though, it shocked me at how similar her smile was to Bella's. Her arms were around Charlie and she just looked so _happy_. I changed my focus to Charlie, who was clad in his Forks police chief uniform. I could feel the pride radiating from the picture as he stood tall with his arm around Renee. He had short, dark hair which was the same colour as his mustache, though his eyes were strikingly similar to Bella's. Bella had gotten her looks from her mother, but her big brown eyes came from her father.

Just seeing Bella's parents' faces made me feel even worse about everything that had happened. My mind replayed Bella's breakdowns, now with the images of her parents in them. It just made everything so much more realistic.

"And this is the newspaper article on their accident."

The words FATAL CAR ACCIDENT INCLUDED CHIEF OF POLICE CHARLIE SWAN AND RENEE SWAN stood out immediately in the big black letters. A picture below it showed the two of them together, similar to the picture Bella had shown me before, along with a picture of the wrecked police cruiser beside it. The car was absolutely totaled. If I had seen it myself, I would've believed it to be a miracle for someone to survive that. If only had Bella had that miracle.

I heard Bella sigh softly and I looked at her to catch one single tear fall from her eye. I continued to stroke her hair, attempting to comfort her a bit while she continued.

"These are all pictures of me and my parents at different events."

She went through different pictures, all of them bringing another feeling of pain to me as well as her. I could feel her increasingly tense up as every picture was flashed in front of me.

Charlie and Renee crouching beside Bella as an infant while she was covered in birthday cake.

Charlie standing beside Bella when she was young, attempting to hold onto her while she rode a bike.

Bella in a swan costume for Halloween, holding two bags of candy while Charlie held another two.

Renee standing beside Bella, dressed in a full ballerina outfit, both of them with matching smiles.

With every picture, I could hear Bella's breaths deepen and become ragged through her tears.

"And this," she said softly as she attempted to cover her upcoming sobs, "is my birthday note." She took out a small piece of folded note paper, along with the set of keys. "My parents bought me this loft as my 18th birthday present. I wasn't even planning on going to NYU, but they just knew. I've never used these keys, I made spare ones right when I got here."

Lastly, she took out a charmed, silver bracelet.

"My mom's." She said, lifting it with high fragility. "She wore this every day. Every each of my birthdays, she would put a new charm on it. It would symbolize something for that year. But she never got to put a new one on for my 18th. She never even got the chance."

Bella's sobs became unhidden now and I knew that it was enough. I took the bracelet gently from her hand and put it in the chest, closing it before setting it on her night table. After I did, I put my free arm around her and pulled her into me, letting her cry freely into my chest while I whispered comforting words to her.

"It's okay Bells, everything's going to be okay." I told her softly, hoping that whatever I said would make her feel better. "I'm so proud of you. You've gone so far today already. You're a strong woman and you can make it through anything. And whatever you do, wherever you go, I'll be right here beside you."

Bella nodded her head into my chest before her sobs continued, and I held her tighter.

And I had no doubt in my mind that everything was going to be okay.

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**So far so good, right? How do you think she's handling everything so far? **


	31. Chapter 31 Thank You

**Last time I checked, Compromises and Promises was rated M. Hasn't seemed like that for a bit, has it? Time to rectify this problem!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

******Hold onto your panties, ladies.**

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**BPOV**

If I thought that it was going to be difficult doing sessions with Esme, I was completely wrong.

It was possibly one of the most grueling things I'd ever done in my life.

I had gone through four sessions now with Esme, and they were all the same.

She would ask me about my parents. Ask me about how I felt about their accident. But then she would ask me things that hit right at the core. Things that I'd never really thought about until she raised them and that brought a new sense of rawness to my grief. The first day, she had asked me if I ever thought I'd be happy. I said yes at first because I thought that it was the right answer and what she would want to hear.

Of course, Esme is just as intuitive as many of the other women in my life.

She saw right through me and threw other questions at me. Would my parents want me to be happy? Even though I felt the way I did, as a human being did I deserve to be happy? But most of all, would I want Jacob to be happy?

Nothing made sense to me at that moment. Of course my parents would want me to be happy. But no, not every human being deserves to be happy. Especially not Jacob.

So she asked if I would forgive him.

Hell fucking no.

Anyways, the realizations that she brought above my unconscious mind hurt me in a way that I never felt before.

And every session ended the same way.

It would leave me in tears as the session went on, causing Esme to end them early because I was too distraught to continue. She'd pack up and call Edward, who would come and comfort me for as long as I needed.

That's what had started the first day.

Of course, I knew that my first session was going to be the hardest. And truly, it was. I repeated the whole accident to Esme with every specific detail explained to the fullest. It was hard. It was terrifying. And it _hurt_. But I knew that there was no going back. I couldn't let down the people who loved me. I couldn't let down myself.

But most of all, I couldn't let down my mom and dad.

Esme told me that she wanted to conclude every session with a specific memory of my parents that I had. It didn't have to really follow any guidelines, but just one that would come to me after our first session.

The first memory that came to me was when Dad had decided to take up woodworking as a hobby when I was 14. I thought he was crazy. So did Mom. But, knowing my father, he was headstrong and wouldn't take no for an answer. The first and only thing he built was this small chest. Engraved on the bottom were his, my mother's and my initials. And he gave it to me right after he built it. It wasn't perfect, but he put his hard work into it so I loved it. I never put anything in it. That is, until after their death.

I needed to have some things to remember them by after I left Forks. I had no doubt in my mind that I would return after everything that had happened so I kept what I felt was most important to me.

It took forever for me to fit mementos of my parents all in one small chest.

And after I moved, I had never opened it. It was too difficult for me to even look at it, so I stashed it in the top of my closet.

Once I'd told Esme my first memory, she suggested that I go through it.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

When she saw my hesitation, however, she was firm with her suggestion. I mean, I figured she knew what she was doing more than I was. So, even though I was shuddering from being so nervous, I slowly made my way upstairs after she'd called Edward.

It took even longer for me to take the chest out of my closet.

But after everything, just being in Edward's arms made it all worth it.

In a way, I was glad that I'd opened up to him in a way that I never had before. Those few items were extremely precious to me, and I knew he appreciated the fact that I was giving him so much already. And just after one session with Esme. But also, I was slightly shocked that I had gone so far already. Never had I thought that I would be able to touch the chest anytime soon. And in less than an hour, not only am I able to touch it, but I went through almost every single item in there.

Fact was, I wouldn't have been able to do it without Edward.

Hell, I wouldn't have been where I was without him.

Edward was by my side since day one. He immediately came over after Esme would conclude our sessions and stay with me until I felt better.

The last few weeks of sessions with Esme and comforts with Edward made me love him even more. Though, I really didn't think that it was all that possible. But, in some strange way with each day passing by, I'd fall deeper and deeper in love with Edward Cullen.

So, the night after my fourth session with Esme, I made yet another decision.

I was going to thank Edward for all that he'd done.

But in a way that he and I both needed for much, much too long.

**EPOV  
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"You're sure it's okay with you guys?" I asked my brothers.

It was Wednesday night at Midnight Sun and also possibly the slowest night we'd had since the place opened. Well, slow for the talented bartenders, you could say. The three of us were finishing orders faster than they were coming in so there seemed to be quite a bit of lag between each of our individual orders. Everything seemed to be going well. That is, before Alice walked in and slipped a little pink note in my hand before walking into Jasper's arms. I quirked my eyebrow at her, wondering what exactly was up, but just ended up getting her giggles instead. Not only that, but my brothers seemed to be stifling their own laughter as well. I ignored their clear, failing attempts of keeping cool and opened the note.

_From the first moment our eyes met, I felt complete.  
In fear, I pushed but failed.  
Your love had me beat._

_Meet me in your bedroom._

After reading Bella's handwriting more than enough times, I licked my lips at the thoughts that were running through my head.

Bella was in my bedroom.

_My_ bedroom. Where she was way too close to my bed.

And instantly, I remembered the first time I made love to her on it.

And yeah, pretty sure I was already hard.

So, of course I couldn't stay there for any longer. Emmett and Jasper were fine with it as they waved me away. I began to make my way out, grinning as I heard Emmett's hooting from behind me.

I made it to my condo in record time. There was no way that I was going to make Bella wait. And there was no way that I was going to wait any longer either. I threw the front door open, closing it behind me quickly and speeding over to my bedroom. I opened it as I called Bella's name but only received silence instead.

She wasn't in there.

I swore under my breath, wondering what exactly happened. I looked around and my eyes locked on my bed. Sitting on top of the covers was a pink note, the exact same from the one Alice had given me. I snatched it off of the bed and opened it.

_Your touch. Your taste. Your feel.  
Never before have I felt the way I do about our love.  
Terrifying and dreamlike; make me wonder if it's all real._

_Meet me at my place._

Dear God, this woman was going to fucking kill me.

Just as fast as I'd made it to my condo, I drove to Bella's loft. I knocked once before turning the handle, realizing it was unlocked and walked in. The entire loft was dimly lit by various candles which were arranged into a sort of pathway. Leading me first to the kitchen table, I was met with another pink card.

_Seems as if just yesterday my world fell apart.  
But then, just as God took away everything, he gave me you and your love.  
To explain how much I crave you, I wouldn't know where to start._

_Follow the light._

I quickly went back to lock the door, clearly too dazed and anxious to remember to lock it properly, and followed the candles to the stairs. Though I had been in a huge rush to get to Bella, I found myself taking my time up the stairs. I couldn't wait to see her, and clearly see what she had planned for me but at the same time I felt a rush of nerves. It had been so, _so_ long since I'd been with Bella. And as much as I was getting sick of jacking off all on my own, I couldn't push Bella into anything. She was going through enough as it was, especially now that she was going through sessions with my mother.

But now, clearly Bella was ready.

After making it up the stairs, the candles led me directly to Bella's bedroom. I was about to step in before noticing yet another note.

_No words can begin to describe how thankful I am for having you.  
Any attempt wouldn't do enough justice.  
So instead, let me show you._

_Take off your clothes and sit on the bed._

Oh, fuck me.

The notes that she'd given me in the beginning had explained to me how I felt about her. Of course, our situations weren't the same, but our present selves were the same. Before Bella, I was nothing. Just having her with me now was more than I could ever ask for. Yeah, we'd been through a lot together, but it just built upon our character. I didn't expect her to thank me, much less want her to. I would've gone to hell and back for Bella.

Damn, I loved the girl to pieces. Of course I'd do anything for her.

But now, it was her time.

I quickly undressed myself, threw my clothes into the corner of her room and sat on her bed waiting for her. It felt like years went by before I saw Bella's petite figure in the doorway.

Holy hell on earth.

She went to Victoria's Secret.

And I was definitely so hard at that moment that it hurt.

She was wearing a sexy, blue two piece. Her hair was down, waves cascading down her back. But her eyes drew me in. Her usual big, brown eyes were darker than normal, filled with nothing but want.

And oh God, I wanted her.

Bella began to walk over to me, hips swaying in the dimly lit room, as I stared and gulped at the scene before me. I had an urge to just touch her but had to push that away and instead gripped hard at the edges of her bed. She stopped just inches in front of me and I tilted my head up to look at her as her fingers grazed my jaw.

"Everything I do now," Bella whispered softly. "It's all because of you, Edward. I have no doubt in my mind that, if I'd never met you, I would have been long gone by now. You're the only reason why I'm here. Nothing else. No one else. But you."

I opened my mouth to tell her that there was no need to say that, that I'd be there for her whenever and wherever, before her warm fingers were placed on my mouth.

"You're too selfless for your own good. But it's true. If someone had told me a couple months ago that I'd fall in love with the guy of my dreams and finally be happy, I would've thought they were insane. You're the only reason for _me_. There's no words good enough to explain to you how much I love you. So there's no other way but to show you."

Before I missed the warmth from her fingers on my lips, they were replaced by her soft lips. My hands went to her bare thighs as she set her knees onto the bed and straddled me, but keeping a safe enough distance from my hard erection. All too soon, Bella pulled her lips from mine. "Lie down."

I did as she demanded, moving slightly back into the bed as well so that my legs weren't too far off of it. However, I still needed to see her, so I propped myself on my elbows. The soft candle lights reflected onto her pale skin and I was in awe over how beautiful she really looked at that moment. Her eyes were locked on mine and though I was enjoying the view, she leaned down and placed her lips on my stomach. I tried to stifle a groan as I felt her fingers follow her soft kisses as she slowly trailed her way up to my neck.

"You look so sexy on my bed." She whispered, her lips brushing against my ear lobe. And just to add to it, her hips shifted onto my erection.

Apparently to Bella, thanking me also meant teasing me to my peak.

And I was _way_ beyond my peak.

I wasn't able to silence my groan as she rubbed herself against me again. And again. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Bella, let me make love to you." I begged.

She pulled away from my neck and kissed me again, more forceful and passionate this time. I moved my hands from her thighs to settle on her ass, pulling her towards me and closing any distance between us. Letting out a moan, her hands went to my hair, pulling me just as close as I had. I brushed my tongue against her bottom lip, sucking against it before she parted hers, giving me full entrance to her mouth.

"I want you so bad, Bella." I groaned as her hips bucked against mine again.

"Me too, but there's a problem."

My eyes shot up to hers, praying to God and everything holy that it wasn't a big problem. Bella saw my instant reaction and the corner of her lip lifted up into a mischievous smirk.

"Clothes, Edward."

I growled, my hands maneuvering themselves quick enough to pull off her bra and underwear in a few seconds. Before I knew it, Bella had lifted herself onto me, filling me completely. My head fell back onto the bed, body shifted up only slightly by the pillows I was lying on, as Bella began to rock against me. Her rocking matched my slow thrusts, as I did my best to be gentle with her, having it only been her second time. Once I regained enough control, I pulled myself up to her breasts, wrapping my lips around her hardened nipple. She intertwined her fingers into my hair again and loudly moaned my name.

In one swift motion, I flipped us over so that I was on top of Bella and began thrusting into her. Slowly at first, until she started whispering for me to go faster. She hitched her leg onto my hip, giving me even better access to go deeper into her. Our bodies were flush against each other, working in exact motion and matching every action. I kissed her again, her hands pulling my harder towards her as I felt her walls tighten around me.

"Bella, I'm so close." I groaned, warning her because of our absent protection.

"It's okay. Birth control." Bella breathed out and I felt more than relieved that she was more prepared than I was.

I thrust into her over and over, settling my head beside hers on the bed as her screams of my name engulfed the room. I felt her release around me, triggering my own as I groaned her name and tried to catch my breath. I heard Bella's deep panting as I rolled over to my side and pulled her against my chest, kissing the top of her head as she wrapped her arm around my waist. We lay there in silence for a few moments, attempting to recover from the most amazing sex I'd ever had in my life.

"That was, wow." Bella said softly, placing a kiss against my chest.

"There are no words to explain how incredible that was." I told her, grinning as I remembered her own quote from the little, pink notes. "How about I show you instead?"

Bella's head lifted up to look back at me and smirked as her hands trailed down to my once again hard erection.

Seems like there was a little more thanking to do.

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**Second lemon I ever wrote, and a pretty teasy one at that. What'd ya think? **


	32. Chapter 32 Deeper and Deeper

**Things have been quiet lately, no? Um... let's change that.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**EPOV**

As the days went on, all of my insecurities about Bella's healing process were slowly but surely fading away.

Not only that, but our relationship was growing stronger each time we were together.

To be honest, it all started when Bella had set everything up for the both of us to finally be intimate again since our first time. And, my God, it was the most unbelievable sex I'd ever had in my life. Of course, we definitely had sex since then. It had only been two weeks since then, and let's just say that twice a day was our minimum.

I fell in love deeper and deeper with the woman in front of me. Bella was everything I ever wanted in a woman, and I would have done anything for her. Having to go to work without her, or not have her by my side for more than five minutes would leave me longing for her even more. The people around us knew how much we loved each other and that included people who didn't even know us. Emmett and Jasper definitely used my weakness as me being pussy whipped. It would've pissed me right off before, but hell, I didn't care. I was so head over heels over this girl. There was nothing else I wanted but to have her by my side for the rest of my life.

Of course, that meant marriage.

But, I wasn't entirely sure if Bella was ready for that. Well, I wasn't entirely sure if I was either. So I decided to think it through, talk it out with my parents, and sit on the thought for a bit.

But the main thought remained.

My life just wouldn't be the same without her.

As Bella's sessions with my mother went on, there was a radical change in her attitude. She was able to freely talk to me about her childhood memories and growing up in Forks. Even about her teenage attitudes that she hated for so long. Bella was opening up about just about everything, and there was no hesitation about it. But as her sessions went on, the realization that there was something more that Bella needed set in. There was one vital part of her healing that Bella needed for her to fully overcome her parents' accident.

She needed to go back to Forks.

The chilly November air of Seattle was just about the same as New York as we exited the airplane and made our way to get our bags.

Mom wasn't able to make Bella's weekly session, so I managed to convince Bella for the two of us to go down to Seattle ourselves. Though she was slightly hesitant at first, she gave in with a little bit of persuasion. And by persuasion, I mean sex. Call me an animal, but I couldn't control myself when I was with her.

Seattle would've been a change of scenery for Bella, not to mention the fact that I wanted her to see my home. I mean, of course there was the condo in New York, but Seattle was home. I took a few days off from Midnight Sun, and Bella did the same with her teaching assisting at NYU. So we went for it and made the trip down.

After we grabbed our bags, my parents met us outside. And of course, Mom was downright ecstatic that we were here.

"Bella, sweetheart! I'm so happy you came!" Mom squealed as she pulled Bella into her, causing Bella to laugh as she returned her warm hug.

Clearly, my mother was more ecstatic for Bella to be there.

"You know, I could just leave you two alone if you'd like." I joked, pointing back towards the airport before Mom slightly pulled her body away from Bella, keeping her arms wrapped around her.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, there is no need to be jealous." She said, trying to hide her grin as was Bella, but they both failed at it.

"It's okay, son." Dad said, putting an arm around my shoulders. "Your mother's found a new favourite, but you've always got me."

I laughed, shrugging away from his arm then pulling Bella from my mother's arms and into mine.

"Thanks guys, but you can have whatever favourites you want. As long as I've got her." I said, grinning as I saw Bella's cheek redden and leaned in to kiss her. My parents laughed and led us to the car, starting off one of the most unforgettable and painful moments of our lives.

**BPOV  
**

Being in Seattle made me slightly nervous.

Aside from the fact that I was going to be staying at Edward's, I was going to be much closer to Forks than I had in a very long time.

And I wasn't ready for that yet.

Even though I was a bit on edge, Edward managed to do whatever he could to help my nerves. Whether that included a comforting kiss, a simple touch, or showing me around the city. The drive to their home was pretty long, so I managed to get a view of most of Seattle. It was no New York, but the city was gorgeous nonetheless.

I hadn't realized how tired I was but my body sure did when I was shaken awake.

"Bella? Hey, we're here." Edward said softly as my eyes fluttered open, breaking into a wide smile. His brows knitted together in confusion. "What?"

"You know, I wouldn't mind having you being the first thing I see when I wake up all the time."

Edward's expression immediately softened and smiled his breathtaking crooked grin. "There's really nothing else I'd want. We'll have to talk about that when we get back to New York."

I reached up and ran my hand through his hair, tilting my head up and placing my lips on his. I knew it wasn't fair for me to tease him with his obvious weak spot, but I couldn't help myself.

The last couple of weeks with Edward were beyond incredible. I hadn't believed that there was a way for me to fall for him even more than I had before, but it was apparently possible. For me to have believed that I was completely worthless only a month ago and now be head over heels with the most amazing man alive, who was just as much in love with me than me with him, was completely staggering. I would never have even thought that I could've had so much taken away from me, but still have so much given to me as well.

Our kiss became more heated and passionate, and I realized that we'd have to stop before we'd get out of hand. Carlisle and Esme had already left the car, leaving Edward to wake me up. Them coming to check up on us only to find us basically groping each other in the back of their car was definitely not a sight that I wanted to happen. Talk about embarrassing. I pulled my lips away from Edward's, giggling as his bottom lip stuck out in a pout.

"What? Would you rather your parents see our little peep show?" I asked playfully, cocking my eyebrow as he pulled his lips into a grin.

"True. That wouldn't be all that pleasant. But I will get you alone soon."

Well, I did like the thought of that.

"Oh really? Is that a promise?" I asked him, trailing my fingers down his chest as he let out a shuddering sigh. I figured I was in for a pretty intense night from the obvious teasing I was doing, but I wanted it. The surge of confidence that I had been without for so long had been a positive change in our relationship. So, even though he was clearly not enjoying the teasing now, he sure did enjoy doing it right back to me. And of course, getting his equal revenge once we were alone.

"Fuck, Bella." Edward groaned softly. "You're so lucky my parents are a few feet away from us. Unfortunately for you, they won't be for much longer. Then, you are in _so_ much trouble."

Edward's words and obvious erection were turning me on already before he decided to run his hand up the inside of my thigh, stopping just before where I wanted him the most. I bit my lip to keep a moan from leaving before he pulled the door open and stepped outside, outstretching his hand toward me. Taking in a deep breath, which was completely necessary after all of that, I placed my hand on his and stepped out of the car.

I had seen my fair share of gorgeous houses in New York, but they had absolute nothing on their home. Their house – more like mansion – was huge. And possibly the most stunning home I had seen in my entire life.

"Esme," I gasped, walking towards the house and stopping beside her. "Your home. It's – it's beautiful."

She laughed softly beside me and draped her arm around my shoulders. "Thank you sweetheart. How about I show you the inside?"

Our afternoon passed by fairly quickly. I was given a grand tour of the inside of Edward's home, completely in awe over how gorgeous it really was. Edward and Carlisle had excused themselves, apparently having to discuss something in Carlisle's office. I will admit, I was suspicious as to what exactly, but I wasn't in the position to pry. If it was important, Edward would tell me. So while they were gone, Esme and I sank into deep conversations. Talking with Esme was completely effortless, just as it was with my own mother. Something about her made me feel at home, a feeling that I had been missing for quite some time. And it was definitely a feeling that I wasn't taking for granted.

Carlisle and Edward had returned shortly after, and I helped Esme make dinner for the four of us, which was completely delicious. I was surprised at how the guys thought my cooking was so good, especially after eating food made by Esme. Other than my mother, I had never been completely satisfied over another person's cooking. It made my stomach sink a little, the fact that there was yet another similarity between my mother and Esme, but I made a pass to not let it show. This time away from New York was so that Edward and I could have some time together, and spend time with his parents – not time for me to be depressed over my past.

We cleaned up and headed over to the living room, enjoying each other's company and having a few casual drinks. I felt so welcome in their home, as if it was completely natural to me. And I will admit, it was great. There couldn't have been a better experience than this one. It was perfect. Once it hit just after 10 pm, Carlisle had suggested that Edward bring our bags up to his bedroom before we all went to bed. I stood there in shock, having not realized that Carlisle and Esme were that comfortable with that. I mean, hell, I had no idea they had any idea that Edward and I had sex already. But apparently Esme was just as intuitive as Alice was, smiling as she took in my surprised expression.

"Bella, there's no reason for you to be uncomfortable. I may be old, but not _that_ old. Plus, it's not like Edward wouldn't sneak into your room at night anyways if we had separated the two of you." She had said, achieving a blush from my part.

Edward's room looked almost similar to his room back in New York, clueing me in on why the boys reallywanted Esme to do the decorating. Not only was she unbelievable at it, but she did her best to make it look like home. Their _real_ home.

And again, I felt the emptiness of maternal love.

"Hey, you okay?" Edward asked as he wrapped his arms around me and settling them on my lower back. I hadn't realized how unsettling my expression was until I smoothed out my eyebrows and released the tension in my lips.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sighed, leaning forward further into his him and placing my head on his chest. When he didn't reply, I looked up and saw the worry spread out onto his face. I sighed again, feeling selfish once more as I seemed to always unconsciously bring attention to myself. What I didn't want to do during our time away was bring those around me down, but clearly I hadn't succeeded so far. There was nothing else I could really say or do, so I did what I thought would take his mind off of his worry completely. I raised my hand, settling it on the back of his neck and leaned up to kiss him.

At first it was slow, his apprehension clearly still evident before he gave in and deepened the kiss. He pulled me closer towards him, basically molding us together enough for me to feel every inch of him. Including his full hard-on. I half-whimpered into his mouth, wanting more than what I was being given. Edward groaned softly and parted my lips with his warm tongue, deepening our kiss even more. I hitched my leg up, pressing myself even more into his erection.

"Fuck," Edward cursed hoarsely before removing his hands from my back, placing them on the backs of my knees and lifting me up. I tangled my fingers through his silky hair, kissing him with as much fervor as I could conjure. He laid me down on his bed softly, hovering over me and trailing kisses down my jaw. I moaned again when he began nipping at my neck and collarbone, moving one of my hands down to the hemline of his shirt and lifting it up slightly to feel him more. I felt him shudder at our skin to skin contact and I started to pull his shirt up one-handedly.

"Bella, wait." Edward whispered, breaking his lips away from my body. I turned my head to look at it as he rose himself up slightly. "We can't do this right now."

"What? Why not?" I breathed, still attempting to catch my breath. The feeling of rejection wasn't settling well either. And then I realized what the problem may have been. "Is it because of your parents?"

I had hardly thought about having sex with Edward and having his parents so near to us. Without a doubt, the house was huge. There would probably be no way for them to hear us unless they were right outside of Edward's bedroom. So that clearly couldn't have been the problem.

"Yes. I mean, no. Well, kind of." He stuttered, leaving me in confusion.

"Edward, what is it? Tell me." I moved my hand to his cheek, stroking the soft skin with my thumb. I was beginning to get worried about what Edward was trying to explain.

He stared at me long and hard, searching my eyes as if there were a hidden clue there somewhere before continuing.

"I wanted you to do something before my parents went to bed. And even though I'm loving every moment of this, that won't happen if we keep going."

I raised my eyebrow at him, still having yet to be given a proper explanation. "Okay, what did you want me to do?"

Edward sighed, throwing my insides into an anxious frenzy. I could see the hesitance written all over his face, even if his actions said it all. Whatever he wanted me to do was important, but he clearly wasn't sure how I would react.

"I want you to talk to my mother."

I nodded, waiting in silence for Edward to continue explaining. His eyes travelled away from my face to the pillow I was lying on. I wanted him to look at me, so I stroked his cheek again to bring his attention back to us. He brought his eyes back to mine again before sighing once more and finishing his request.

"Bella, I think you should go back to Forks."

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**WHOA RIGHT? What'd ya think about that bomb?**


	33. Chapter 33 The Reason

**My apologies for that cliffy. I'm a terrible person.  
****Drama, smut and super sigh moments coming up.**

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**BPOV**

"You think I should go where?" I asked, my heart rate beginning to increase dramatically. I had to ask him again, praying that I had heard wrong.

"Forks, Bella. You've been doing great with your sessions, and everyone can see how much you've changed. What better time but now?"

As Edward was explaining, I felt the uncomfortable tension rise and sat up, bringing my knees up to my chest with me. He understood the change in mood and moved as well, kneeling in front of me.

How did he expect me to so easily go to Forks? There was no way that I could have gone to the one place that terrified me the most. I couldn't walk down the very streets I grew up on and live through all of my memories again. Yeah, I was getting better. Hell, if I wasn't by now I would've thrown the sessions idea out the window. But there was no way I was _that_ well.

"Bella," Edward whispered, pulling me out of my thoughts. "I know you're scared, I do. That's why I want you to talk to my mother about it. She'll help you. And if you decide to go, we can leave tomorrow. It's a quick drive over –"

"Edward stop," I interrupted, my anger boiling as his words sank in. "You brought me to Seattle for me to go to Forks? Is that what it was? This whole idea of us getting away was some bullshit excuse you made?"

I caught him off guard, his eyes widening as he stumbled for an answer. "What, no. Bella, that's not it."

"So tell me, Edward. Tell me the real reason why you want me to go to Forks because I sure as hell have no clue." I spat, my hands clenching into fists by my feet.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, his gentle voice in complete contrast with my firm one. "This isn't about me, this is about you and your healing process."

"Oh, right." I scoffed immediately. "And this whole situation isn't entirely convenient for me to just stroll over to Forks. You have got to be kidding me."

I didn't know what exactly as coming over me. Edward and I had never had a real argument before, but I couldn't help but get angry. The problem was, I wasn't sure where my anger was directed to but at that moment, it was heading straight to Edward.

"Bella, do you seriously think that I'm lying to you? Yes, I did think of you going to Forks before we left, but that had no influence on my decision to bring you here. I brought you here because I wanted to show you my _home_, not to force you into a situation that you weren't ready for. How could you even think I'd do that to you?"

Edward's voice became harder, his frustration rising as I accused him of everything he wasn't. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't have believed them. But this was Edward. _My_ Edward. How did I even think that he could be lying to me? The honesty and love I saw in his eyes could reassure absolutely anyone. But beyond that, it shouldn't have reassured me. I should have known from the very beginning that he wouldn't have set everything up like that.

I took a deep breath and sighed, unclenching my fists as I did.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, feeling like the selfish teenager I had once been and had tried so hard to grow up from. "You shouldn't have to explain yourself. I don't know what's wrong with me."

I noticed Edward's muscles ease out of their tension before placing his hands on the sides of my knees, running them up and down the outsides of my thighs.

"Nothing's wrong with you Bella. And I should've told you before, but it didn't go through my mind until a bit ago."

Feeling my eyes well up, I took in a deep breath to calm myself before they fell and tilted my head down to keep my facial expressions from Edward. It had been too much for me to process at that moment and the last thing I had really wanted was to be unstable yet again, not to mention at a time where I was supposed to be relaxing. I wasn't sure what I would choose to do, but at that time all I wanted was to keep myself in control in front of Edward. I didn't want him to feel bad about telling me what he thought because in all honesty, he definitely had a voice in my life. Hell, he _was_ my life now. But knowing Edward, he would've felt horrible about the idea in the first place if he saw me break down in front of him. So in order to keep my mind neutral, I focused on the feeling of his hands on me, comforting me as they stroked my skin. The silence engulfed the room for a few moments, but Edward knew better than I did than to let the silence drone on.

"Bella," Edward said softly as he put two fingers under my chin, bringing my face back to par with his. His expression told me enough, that I wasn't fooling him by hiding away. "Tell me what you're thinking."

And all the efforts in keeping my tears at bay were gone as they were now freely falling down my face. Now, I had no choice but to let myself go.

"I'm scared, Edward." I whispered, reaching up to take his hand from under my chin and lacing my fingers with his. Moving myself into a cross-legged position, I set our interlocked hands in my lap and placed my free one on top of his, stroking his soft skin not only to comfort myself but him as well. "I mean, I know I've been getting better. I can see it and _feel_ it. I'll be honest, I was nervous about coming to Seattle in the first place considering how close it was to Forks as it was. But, me actually going to Forks – I just don't think that I can do it. I don't even know if I can live through it."

"You're stronger than you think Bella. You can handle anything, even this."

"But what if I can't? What if after this, I head straight back to square one? I can't do this all over again, Edward. I just can't."

"Hey, stop." Edward said, taking his free hand and placing it on my cheek, effectively stopping me from going into hysterics. "I love you more than anything. And I will not let anything ever happen to you. You can do this. And there is no way in hell that I'll let you sit here and try to convince yourself that you're not able to do something. You've gotten so far in such a short time already, you can conquer anything. Even if that means going back to Forks."

My heart swelled as Edward poured his words of love and reassurance to me, helping me with the realization that there may have been a way that I could go to Forks and stay sane as well. There was nothing this man wouldn't do for me and I couldn't have been more grateful for having him. Right then, or entirely for that matter.

What I knew for sure however, was that I could live through anything. As long as I had Edward with me, there was nothing I couldn't accomplish. With him, I felt immortal.

"Okay." I sighed, squeezing our hands together gently. "I'll go, but on one condition."

"And what's that?" He asked, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

"You have to come with me."

Edward smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, and shook his head softly. "I was always going to go with you. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Before I had a chance to react, he leaned in and placed his lips on mine. I could feel my tension slowly ease, leaving me to do nothing but fall in my own bliss. Taking my hands from his, I wrapped them around his waist, pulling him towards me as our simple kiss started to heat up. And for the second time that night, Edward pulled away.

"Edward, please." I cried softly, wanting him so painfully bad. Overwhelmed over the entire situation, I just needed him with me. I needed him as close to me as possible.

"But, my mom –"

I interrupted him before he could finish. "It's okay, we don't have to keep her up. I'm prepared to go. You'll be with me, and that's all the help I need. You're all I need. Right now and forever."

The love and desire I saw in his expression made me melt entirely as he stroked my cheek once more before he kissed me again. I pushed back on the bed, pulling him with me and stretching out of my sitting position. I felt his tongue run along my bottom lip before his lips pulled it in and I parted my lips to let our kiss deepen. My hands went to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over his head and throwing it on the ground. I moved my hand up his naked back and down his arm, feeling his toned muscles. Edward somehow had my shirt and jeans off in a matter of seconds, sparing no time as he threw them onto the new pile of clothes on the ground. His hand ran up my thigh, teasingly grazing where I needed him the most, before going up my sides and reaching behind me to unclasp my bra. And it joined the rest of the clothes on the ground. In only a few more moments, so joined his pants, briefs and my panties.

Our lips broke from one another, leaving us catching our breath as fast as we could. But I couldn't keep mine away from him.

I tilted my head up and kissed his shoulder as Edward let out a huge breath. I continued my trail, kissing every inch of his body as I could. His neck. The hollow behind his ear. His jaw. His eyes. Forehead, and nose. I left nothing untouched.

Edward's eyes were closed as I worshipped him, calming him as his breath gradually returned to a normal state. I placed my lips on his before lying my head back down.

"I love you, Edward." I whispered, and watched his eyes slowly open.

If I could have had any moment in my life saved for eternity, it would have been that.

I had never doubted how much Edward loved me. In his words and actions, I knew that he did. But now, the look in his eyes forever eliminated any idea that his love had faults. I couldn't explain it through words. I couldn't explain it through any feelings or actions. But at that second his eyes opened, I felt my entire soul fulfilled. Any holes left in me through my past had vanished. There was nothing left in me to feel bad for. Nothing to blame myself about. There was nothing but Edward.

**EPOV  
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It was her.

My reason for life. The reason I would get up in the morning. The reason for my newfound happiness. The reason I was given the ability to love.

It was always her.

_Bella._

And until right then, I had been completely blind to it. And I didn't give a shit how corny it sounded. We were made for each other. I felt myself fall deeper into her as she kissed me and told me she loved me. And then everything just vanished. All my worries about my future. My worries about being good enough for her. All gone.

There was nothing but Bella.

And as she lay there naked under me, beautiful as ever, I felt as if I had died right then and there, I would've died happy.

Her lips were slightly swollen, face slightly blushed. Hair matted across my pillow, flowing to different spots. Brown eyes, looking at me with the most love it could possibly contain.

This. This was it. This was my reason.

I felt my eyes well up slightly as I was overwhelmed by the entire realization. It became hard to handle but I managed to control myself enough to not let her see my tears gathering. I leaned my head down again, kissing her with as much passion as I could gather. I moved my hand back down and nudged her legs open slightly. Propping myself up with one arm, I lined myself up at her entrance and slowly pushed in. I heard her breath hitch as I pushed all the way in and broke away from her lips to ask if she was alright.

"I'm perfect." She whispered, reassuring me as I pulled out of her and moved my hips forward slowly.

I groaned as I began to increase my pace slightly, making her moan my name. By far the most sexiest sound my ears have ever heard. And without a doubt, will always be.

I started to move faster, her moans assuring me that there was nothing else she wanted. I brought my hand to her thigh and hitched her leg around my hip, groaning even louder again when she did the same with her other leg, letting me in deeper. She cried my name as I filled her even more, and I felt her bite my shoulder, probably trying to stay as quiet as she could. I lay my body right on top of hers, still keeping my weight off of her though, and began kissing and nipping at her neck.

After a few long minutes, I could feel Bella almost at her peak. Her body arched slightly, moaning my name and some other things that I couldn't understand for the life of me. I went back to hovering over her again, trying to keep the rest of my body as close to her as I could while I pushed faster and deeper into her. She began to rock her hips against mine slowly, matching the movement of my hips to hers, and tangled her fingers into my hair. I groaned in pleasure as she pulled and then cried out as her orgasm ripped through her. My body trembled as I continued to thrust into her before I followed through as well, grunting out words that were definitely not parent appropriate.

I basically collapsed on top of her, having enough of my sense left to move the lower half of my body from her to allow her to breathe. I my head sideways on her chest and wrapped my arm around her as I caught my breath. Listening to the sound of her steadily beating heart and feeling her fingers softly running through my hair were all I needed. When I regained enough of myself, I propped myself up by her side and moved the stray hairs away from her face. Her eyes fluttered as I grazed her cheek, humming as well.

"I love you, Bella." I said, kissing her again before pulling back. "You're the only reason I live. The only reason I breathe. It's only you. I want you to know that that'll never change. Ever. And wherever life takes us, know that there's nowhere else I'd be but right by your side. As long as you'll have me, I'll be there."

I poured my heart out to her before, but there was more to it this time. I basically let her see my soul. But there was nothing else I would've wanted. Keeping that from her would have been unbearable. She deserved to know.

Bella nodded, brushing the back of her fingers along my jaw line.

"Forever." She promised.

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**Okay, ready?**

**1... 2...  
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!  
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	34. Chapter 34 Forever and Always

**So, when I initially wrote this, I was a sobbing mess. Just warning you. Might need that box of Kleenex.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**BPOV**

The sun shone through Edward's bedroom window, the heat warming my face as it woke me from my sleep. In all honesty, I hadn't expected to get much sleep that night. Not with knowing that I was going to do what I'd never dreamed of doing so soon the day after. The mere fact that I'd be in Forks after one sleep had me trembling. And that's usually how it always was before I had my nightmares. But that night, there was nothing. No dreams, no nightmares. Just sleep. It almost felt… relaxing. Calming, even. The fact that I had nothing on my mind before doing the unimaginable made me feel slightly better.

But there must've been a reason for this. Of course, it didn't take me long to figure it all out.

That night had been the very first that I fell asleep in Edward's arms.

And with him, there was really nothing to be afraid of. I guess my entire mind knew that too, considering everything that I'd been through. The things that would terrify me completely in the past were nothing when I was with Edward. Though I never really depended on anyone my entire life, it was the first time when I'd realized that I would be nothing without Edward. He was my rock, my soul, the one that completed me, all that corny crap. I would've laughed at myself in the past for saying those kinds of things, but this was a whole new me.

And really, this was the only 'me' that I liked.

I turned to my side, focusing on Edward's sleeping body and realized something that I never would've thought possible. I wasn't scared. I was ready for just about anything.

And I was happy. Completely, entirely happy.

The night before was nothing I'd ever experienced. I poured my entire soul out to Edward. Showed him everything. More so, I did my best to show him how much he meant to me.

And, for the first time in God knows how long, I made a promise. A real one. That we'd be together forever, through anything. And it was indefinitely a promise that I was going to keep.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched him sleep, his back raising with every breath. He looked so beautiful when he was asleep. Not like he wasn't when he was awake, but this brought another kind of beauty. The worried expression he wore the last few weeks before was smoothed out. He really just looked like a kid again. At that moment, I really wanted nothing else but to wake up to that moment every single day.

The awareness of what I had just thought struck me.

I mean, I already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Edward. It was obvious that was really the only way I would've been able to live. But to wake up beside him every morning really meant to live with him.

_Are you really ready for that Bella?_

I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts away. That was something I'd deal with later. For now, there were other things on hand.

As much as I didn't want to, I began to attempt to wake Edward up.

"Edward." I whispered, lifting my hand from my side to push back a few strands of his copper hair from his face. "Edward, time to get up."

I couldn't help but giggle a bit as he let out a deep breath and grumbled, obviously not ready to wake up yet. Attempting once more, I slid a bit closer to him and stroked his cheek as I called his name once more. Grumbling once more, he surprised me by wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to him even more. I bit my bottom lip, trying not to be loud by laughing. Even though it really wouldn't make much of a difference. Considering how large the house was, not to mention the fact that Carlisle and Esme's room was quite a distance away from Edward's, they wouldn't have been disrupted. And, hell, I was pretty sure laughing would've been a bitter sound to them than our sex sounds the night before.

"Edward, come on." I giggled, trying to pull away but his arm wouldn't budge. He nuzzled his head into my neck and took in a deep breath.

"I don't want to." He pouted, finally breaking my control as I started laughing. He nuzzled even more and I felt him kiss my neck when I started to run my fingers through his hair. Even though I pushed those thoughts away, I couldn't help but smile thinking of waking up like this every morning.

Too soon or not, I wanted this.

But at the same time, I couldn't force myself onto Edward like that. I would wait until he asked me. Problem was, I didn't know _what_ he'd ask. But, I'd wait nonetheless.

"Edward, no more snuggling. It's time to get up." I began to scold him and try to pull away before I felt his lips trail their way up my neck and to my jaw. Letting out a shuddering breath, I closed my eyes and relished the feeling but trying to gain control once more at the same time.

"Edward," I started again, though it sounded more like a half-moan. "We have to get ready to leave for Forks."

I shuddered again, but this time it wasn't because of Edward.

_It's time for everything to be real again._

I was ready, and I was going to go. But I was still completely terrified, especially with not knowing what to expect. Four years later, what would be the same? What would've changed? Would I be recognized?

I was lost in my thoughts again, not realizing Edward had fully woken. He had propped himself on one arm and watched me as I thought of every scenario possible. His worried expression was back once more as his green eyes watched my every expression.

He lifted his free hand, smoothing out the skin between my eyebrows.

"Stop it." Edward whispered, not saying anymore. He didn't need to. I understood what he was trying to say, and he was right. I needed to stop freaking myself out anymore than I was already.

He leaned over and kissed me softly on my lips before getting up and putting his briefs on. He grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt out of his drawer, passing them to me to put them on before we made our way to the washroom to get ready.

Esme and Carlisle were obviously worried about our quick decision to head down to Forks, but they didn't stop us. I wasn't sure if I felt relieved, or disappointed, really. They both took me in their embrace and reassured me as much as they could before letting us go. I thought I would've started crying right there when I saw Esme's eyes glass with unshed tears, but there was nothing. No tears, no lump in my throat. Just, nothing. I was upset, but there was nothing else to show that I was but my expression.

The drive to Forks wasn't too long. Edward had kept his fingers laced with mine throughout the entire drive, kissing the back of my hand or my knuckles several times throughout the drive. But we spoke of nothing. The silence in the car was deafening. But it almost seemed necessary.

I glanced over at Edward frequently, his expression always the same. Worried, always worried. I missed just seeing him happy. I squeezed his hand at one point, making him turn over to me. He must've understood what I was feeling, giving me a small smile in reassurance. Problem was, that did nothing for me but make it worse. Nothing was worse than a smile that never reached his eyes. And that's exactly what it was.

I wasn't sure how long I was in my own daze for until I broke out of it once I saw the city sign.

_The City of Forks Welcomes You._

I'm sure it did.

I could feel my heart pace begin to increase as we passed by my childhood memories.

Everything was the same. It was funny how I'd expected everything to change, but it was always the same. I recognized some faces as we drove by as well, but I couldn't bring myself to look at them directly. Edward's car was obviously not one that was regularly seen in Forks, so eyes would've been drawn to it. I didn't want people to recognize me as we drove by. I wasn't ready for that yet, not knowing what kind of welcome I would've received.

We passed by Forks High School just as students were getting out for lunch. I couldn't stand high school when I was a teenager, but passing by, I almost missed it. I missed out on so many different experiences that high school brought through being so selfish and naïve. Prom, especially. It was ironic how I was so hell bent on getting out of high school, ready to be an adult while still a teenager. And now, I was aching to have those teenage memories once more.

I gave Edward the directions before we had left when he asked me, clearly knowing that I would've wanted to take in everything rather than focus on how to get to our destination. I made sure to avoid the area of the crash. The Forks officers had told me about building something there in memory of my parents before I had left, so I didn't want to pass by it yet. No, that wouldn't be first.

Our first stop would be the Forks cemetery.

I thought my heart basically stopped beating as we drove into the cemetery gates. Edward parked the car, getting out quickly and opening the door for me. But I couldn't move. I remained frozen in my seat, looking out into the cemetery. I could almost see the trail my mind made for me, leading me directly to my parents' graves.

"Bella, come on." Edward whispered, reaching his hand out for me to take. "You can do this."

I took in a deep breath, nodding my head slowly, and placed my hand in his. Just placing my foot on the grass beneath me sent tremors through my skin. I instantly remembered the first time I had come to see my parents, my legs dragging me to their grave. It was as if they had a mind of their own. Even though I was terrified to see their grave, my body acted on its own.

And then, right then, it was as if I was a scared child once more.

I started to walk, knowing exactly where to go. For once, the sun shone bright in Forks. But there was just silence. I just walked, passing my other graves on my way. There were hundreds, but I saw none of them. As I kept walking, I saw the only one that I could really see in the distance. My body felt several times heavier than I was, but I kept dragging myself to where I was needed most.

Time seemed to pass by slower, the distance seemed to be longer. I took deep breaths, waiting for the tears to come, but there was nothing. I was numb. But it didn't matter to me. I pushed away my inner demons, freeing myself of any bounds that kept me from seeing my parents.

I was close enough to their grave to see the inscription on their tomb stone.

_Chief Charlie Swan. _

_Renee Swan._

_Loving parents._

I wasn't able to read the entire inscription before it happened.

I broke. My knees hit the wet grass as I collapsed onto them, my hand extended slightly as if I was reaching out to them. I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks as I stared at their grave. I remembered everything again.

_The next thing I knew, I was out of the car and slowly walking towards the flashing lights. I didn't know if it was the alcohol or not, but I needed to be there._

_As I got closer, I noticed what had happened. There was a car accident._

A sob left my throat as I ran the tips of my fingers down the hard rock, the memory of that night fresh in my mind once more.

_That part of me slowly faded as I saw the other car. Believe it or not, it was even worse off than Jake's car was. But that wasn't the worst part. It was a police cruiser._

_Charlie._

_I started running, pushing away anyone near me. The next thing I knew, I was being held back by an officer, but not before I took everything in._

My body shook with every sob and every muffled apology I sputtered through them.

_Body bags. Two of them._

_There were a few officers surrounding them. One bag had been zipped shut, and an officer was zipping another one as I watched. But not before I saw the single most terrifying and heartbreaking sight I had seen in my life._

_My mother's face._

"I'm so sorry. Please." I begged, my sobs becoming louder as I let everything go.

I felt like I had lost them once more. I could feel the emptiness crawling back, trying to fill itself in me once more before I felt warmth engulf me. There was no need to turn, because I knew what it was.

Edward had been with me the entire time, watching as I made my way to their grave. I knew he wanted me to do what I had to, but he couldn't have only watched me. He wrapped his arms around my waist as he knelt behind me, pushing the emptiness away once more. I continued to sob as he held me tightly, letting four years of pain wash away.

I cried for my parents. I cried for my loss. I cried for everything that they lost, not what I had. And I cried for all the moments in my life where my parents would've loved to see. All my accomplishments through my hard work. Meeting the man I loved. Having children, getting married, seeing my children married. They lost all of that.

I did my best to control my sobs enough to be able to speak. I wanted to let everything out. This was my only chance.

"Hi Mom. Hi Dad. It's Bella." Edward's arms tightened around me even more and I leaned back on him, needing him more than anything. "I hope you guys aren't mad at me."

The tears kept flowing as I let go, not holding anything back. No hesitation. No thinking.

Just me.

"I understand if you are. I'm mad at myself. It's been too long since I've seen you guys. I've missed you, more than anything. I've done whatever I could to keep you guys with me. I even went to NYU. Thanks for being so damn intuitive Mom."

"_You know what Isabella Swan. Motherly senses."_

"_Mom, I know you pull it off as motherly senses, but I'm really hoping it's not some paranoid telepathy. This is a little unhealthy."_

The memories flashed by me as I continued to speak through my tears, but I wouldn't stop.

"I've finished my undergraduate, and now waiting for grad school. I'm doing my best to make you guys proud of me, even throughout everything I've put you two through. I don't know how you guys dealt with me. You must've loved me a lot."

_We can't believe how fast you've grown Isabella. And now, we can't wait to watch you grow into the beautiful, intelligent, inspiring woman you were always destined to be. Always know that there are always endless opportunities no matter where you are. _

_If you've reached the sky, know that you have yet to reach the stars._

_Love forever and always,_

_Mom and Dad_

I wrapped my arms around Edward's, bracing myself for everything was about to come.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry. There are so many things that I could've done instead, and you two would've been alive. I'd have been able to see you guys and hear your voices every day. I would have my parents with me. You two were the only ones that understood me and didn't treat me like a stupid kid. The only two that I loved more than anything in the world. And I lost you both.

I dreamt of you two every night. Every single goddamn night. And if it started out good, it always ended bad. I'd always see myself in Jacob's car, looking out and seeing your faces before the cars crashed. It was always my fault. I could've stopped him. And I'm sorry. I understand if you'd never forgive me, because in a way, I don't think I ever can either. But I love you Dad. I love you Mom. More than anything. I'd do anything to have you both back."

I stopped, trying to take in deep breaths but couldn't. I could barely breath, my sobs taking more oxygen, leaving nothing for my lungs. I felt Edward lay his forehead on my shoulder, and I focused on that while trying to breathe. It seemingly worked, but I couldn't stay silent for much longer. There was more.

"But I know that there's nothing that I can do. The most that I can do is keep you two in my heart, and that's what I'll always do. You may not be with me in body, but you'll always be in my heart until the day it starts beating. And even then, you'll be with me. I'll never let you two go. And I know you're always watching down on me. I hope you're not upset with how I've lived the last few years, but everything's slowly changed. I've found myself again, even though I thought it was impossible. I never thought I could be happy again after I lost you two. But this happiness I feel now, it's real. And there's only one reason behind it."

I reached one arm around me and set my hand on the back of Edward's neck, taking in a needed deep breath as I did. I could feel myself ease slightly with the touch, giving me the push I needed to continue.

"Mom, Dad. This is Edward, my boyfriend."

I felt his head raise from my shoulder in surprise and I gently stroked the back of his neck with my thumb.

"Well, boyfriend doesn't really seem like a term for him to be honest. He's the only man I've ever let myself love. Other than you Dad, of course. Edward's the only one I'll ever love. I don't know what I did that made God change his mind and let him in my life, but I've never been so grateful. Maybe, in a way, this is how he forgave me? I don't even know. But what I do know is that I would never have been here if it weren't for him. He brought me back to life, piece by piece. I love him more than anything. I could tell you all the good things about him, but we'd really be sitting here forever."

I surprised myself by letting out a small laugh and felt my tears slowly dry up. My breathing slowly became less frantic, though I felt weak from crying as hard as I had.

"I really hope you two forgive me. I'm not sure how I can make it up to you though. What about a compromise?"

I laughed again as memories came back to me once more.

"_Okay, okay fine. How about this mom? Dad? We'll compromise?" I smiled, as I waited on their answer._

_Renee's face definitely changed. I knew she'd be up for it, my compromises always worked out. Mom looked up to Dad. My dad didn't look that happy, but I did sense that a small bit of him was willing. Come on Charlie, you know you want to. I was still smiling, waiting on him._

_He sighed. "Okay Bella, let's hear it."_

"How's this? I'll come by as often as I can, even more if that. Holidays, birthdays, time off, whatever. Whenever I have a break, I'll be on the first place out here. We'll do this as often as possible. There's nothing else I want but to see you two every single day."

_After what seemed like an eternity, Dad finally spoke up. "Okay, Bella. You promised, and your mom and I would be very upset if you didn't keep your word. Do you promise?"_

_I groaned. "Yes, yes. Of course I promise. I always keep my word on the compromises, you guys both know that."_

I took in one last shuddering breath, tightening my fingers on Edward's hold around me.

"I promise."

We sat there motionless, our breathing the only sounds in the cemetery other than the nature around us. After a short while, I pulled my head away from Edward's and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Ready to go?" I asked and he nodded, standing up and pulling me with him. Once I was fully standing, I reached my arms around his neck and placed my lips on his. "I love you."

Edward kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me again before turning us to my parents' grave once more.

"We'll see you soon Chief Swan. Mrs. Swan." He said softly, his voice slightly raspy as he did. The experience with my parents had had a toll on him as well I noticed. I hadn't wanted him to be upset about it, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. There was nothing else I wanted than for us both to share our experiences, whether they were good or bad. And that's exactly what he did. And he felt the same way.

We walked back to his car, his arm around my shoulders while mine was around his waist. But this time, it wasn't completely silent in the cemetery. The sounds of the many kinds of birds and small animals around us were everywhere. They brought life to the cemetery, which seemed to be completely insane but at the same time, it wouldn't have been better any other way.

As Edward opened my door and I sat in, I pulled down the mirror to try to fix myself up a bit before heading anywhere else. I pulled it down too far, but gasped when I saw my reflection.

On my shoulder, where Edward had rested his forehead shortly before, they was a slightly dried wetness. I was confused at first, but then it hit me.

His raspy voice as he said goodbye. My tear stained shirt.

Edward had been crying.

He felt the loss just as I had. Though he obviously tried to hide it for my sake, I couldn't explain how I felt knowing that he had been affected as hard as I had. But no matter how I felt, it was nothing negative. In fact, at that point I knew that I would never regret what I had done today.

My life was finally together again.

Forever and always.

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**Yeah, just reading it now makes me tear up. Dear Lord, I'm a sap.  
See that little button there? Why don't you click it and leave me some love, yeah? I promise I'll return the favour. =) **


	35. Chapter 35 Merry Christmas

**Okay, so some more smut. Jeez, I know, how dare I give you even more? I spoil you all, seriously.  
Outfits are up on the profile, as usual. Check them out if you'd like.  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**BPOV**

"Okay, that's enough!" I hollered.

Each student's body tensed as my voice rang throughout the classroom, but I just couldn't do it any longer. If I let what was happening in front of my very own eyes go on, I would've probably burst myself.

"That's it, I can't take it anymore. Tyler, I can see you twitching in your seat from here. It's pathetic. And don't think I didn't catch you either Lauren. Hell, I'm the only one that's not acting like it's my last day on the planet! And just so you all know, I'll be expecting some major Christmas gifts delivered to my door for letting you guys out of class."

It only took a few blinks and a handful of mouths dropping before the class erupted in hollers and cheers, every student gathering their books and screaming their thank you's to my direction before leaving the classroom. I didn't blame them. I was their last class before their final, but most importantly before their joyous holiday break. I remembered sitting in those exact seats myself, listening to my teaching assistant drone on about how hard the final was going to be and that over half of the class would fail. Piece of advice? That's not advice. She ended up making a girl cry when she pointed straight at her and said she'd probably end up serving burgers for the rest of her life.

Yeah, complete bitch.

But I wouldn't do that. Nope, not me. Because I was just as excited to get myself home as much as they were. I didn't have a final, but I sure as hell did have my holiday. And what a holiday it was going to be.

Weeks and weeks of Edward. All to myself.

Fuck the holiday season. I was planning on selfishly being with him as much as I could.

Not only that, but I was planning on giving him anything and everything he wanted. The man went to hell and back with me, and I owed him my life. He brought me back to life, giving me all the love he had in him and more. So, without a doubt, I was going to spoil him rotten. But it wouldn't exactly be all sexual, though I wasn't planning on arguing against any of that. After leaving Seattle, I worked on my plan for the perfect Christmas present for Edward.

After a few more days spending time with Edward in the city where he grew up, as well as spending just as much time with his parents, I found out the real reason why Edward came to New York. To fulfill his dream of opening up his own restaurant. I mean, I knew from little conversation with Edward that he loved to cook, but I hadn't really thought into it. It saddened me a bit to know that there were things about Edward so important that I hadn't known, but I didn't have it in me to be upset about it. I loved him, and I would do anything for him. So after a couple more days in Seattle, I put my plan in motion.

And Christmas Eve, I would give him his dream.  
~*~*~*~*~

**December 24****th**** – Christmas Eve**

With the final preparations of our Christmas dinner finished, I quickly wiped my hands off and ran into the bathroom to get ready. A quick shower was all I really needed, but I was in there for longer than necessary really. My stomach was doing Olympic gymnastics in there, freaking out about how Edward would take his gift. I mean, it was huge. And when I say huge, I mean gi-fucking-normous. I would've been crushed if he didn't like it, or get mad at me, or be upset, or… Yeah, definitely freaking out.

Not only that, but this was actually the first Christmas I had celebrated properly since my parents had died. Rosalie, Alice and I had always exchanged small gifts, but we never went all out. They would visit their parents for a couple days and come back to the loft, only to see me in a complete wreck as I huddled in our home by myself. But I was working through this. Yes, it was a little difficult for me to get everything ready with them, having small flashbacks of my parents, but I was better than I thought I would be. The memories wouldn't bring me down all that much, but rather have me smiling as I reminisced. It was warming, and I felt a pride in myself that I could think about them and not break down. Not only would my parents be proud of me, but I was proud of _myself_.

It didn't really help me all that much, though I had hoped for it to, when I told Rosalie and Alice about my gift for Edward. They helped me out with little preparations, considering their own connections in high places, but I just couldn't get rid of this sinking feeling I had. The what if's were rambling in my head over and over again. What if I offend him? Or, what if he just left me because he was so angry about it? What if –

_Oh, shut the hell up already!_

Definitely did not miss my conscience. At all.

"Bella!" Rosalie hollered from the hallway, loud enough for it to echo in my own ears. "What are you doing in there, washing off layers of skin? Hurry up!"

Okay, it was enough of the nerves. Whatever happened would happen. Good, or bad. Or really bad… Or terrible. Or –

_Oh, for the love of God! Shut _up_!_

Alright, it was definitely time to get out of the shower before my conscience strapped on some brass knuckles and went at it with me. I turned off the water, threw on a towel to wrap around my body and another for my hair and sprinted into my bedroom. Thankfully, Alice had already laid down her outfit choices for the night. I knew I was fully capable in dressing myself, as did Rosalie, but the little pixie wouldn't even budge. Not that I minded; her outfit choices were always the best. She was a goddess, that one.

I looked down on my bed, smiling at her choice for the evening. It was a v-neck, sleeveless halter dress, the royal blue top portion contrasting against the black skirt. The back was gorgeous, the ends of the halter neck tying into a bow and criss-crossing across my shoulder blades, showing enough skin but not too much to be uncomfortable with. The short length played with my legs, paired with a hot pair of black heels. They were a little higher than my liking, but they were definitely sexy. Edward would _definitely_ approve.

I put on the dress and heels, quickly heading back into the washroom for Rosalie and Alice to start on the hair and makeup. Again, I could've done it myself, but the two of them worked magic. There was no doubt in my mind that I could've made myself look good, but Rosalie and Alice made me look breathtaking. Well, not like I wanted to impress anyone but Edward. But it sure did feel good having his eyes rake my body up and down, eyes glassing over and that sexy, crooked smile of his.

Both Rosalie and Alice were already dressed, just waiting on me to finish up. I was beginning to wonder if Alice had her own pouch of pixie dust, because the two of them were absolutely beautiful.

Rosalie was wearing a fitted, v-neck lavender dress. It was sleeveless, with black insets along the straps and again on both sides of her waist, emphasizing her curves. The dress ended mid-thigh, flattering her long legs which were donning a pair of black heels, similar to my own. Alice's dress was mid-thigh length as well, and with yet another pair of super high black heels to go with it. It was an off-white sort of colour, dipping down into a deep v-neck and sleeveless. The empire waist accentuated her thin waist, and ended in a pleated design along the hem. As she turned, I got a peek at the back which went into another deep V, ending a bit below her shoulder blades.

"You know, I feel bad for Jasper and Emmett. Poor things." I said with mock sincerity as I walked in, their eyes widening in worry. "Once they see the two of you, they'll need a trip to the hospital. A pacemaker sure does sound good for them."

Their worry clearly faded away as they both giggled, Alice doing a little shake with her hips for me as she led me to the chair in front of her.

"Don't be silly Bella. A pacemaker wouldn't work on them." Rosalie said before turning back to the mirror to apply another layer of mascara, a devious smirk plastered on her face. "Though they might need canes to help themselves stand properly."

And that's how it was with us while we finished up. We cracked jokes, we exchanged some gossip, but most of all, we talked about how everything had changed so fast. We were three girls, who just a few months ago were basically walking on eggshells with our lives. But now, we had never been more confident ever. And we were in _love_. And for the first time since I lost my parents, everything just felt perfect.

After Rose and Alice had finished, I stood from my chair and assessed myself in the mirror. I looked phenomenal, but that wasn't the reason why tears began to well up in my eyes. I looked at our reflections in the mirror, sighing as I attempted to not let the tears fall and ruin the work Alice had done. The girls had both seemed to realize how overwhelmed I was and each wrapped their arms around my waist on each side of me. I clutched onto their forearms, knowing that they shared the exact same feelings as I did.

No one said anything. No one did anything. The only thing that we needed right then was to be in the arms of our best friends, and that's exactly what we did.

After a few moments, I broke the silence by thanking both of them. They looked at me confused, so I continued. "You two are really the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I don't know what I did to deserve either of you. I don't know why I'm loved as much as you two love me. But I do know that you two are my everything. I don't know what would've happened if I was stuck here on my own."

"Bells, you would've been fine."

"No Rose." I said softly, tilting my head to the side to lean against hers as I locked my eyes on her reflection. "I wouldn't have. You know that, both of you. I'm not denying it, but it's not something that's bringing me down anymore. This here, right now, I've never been this happy in a long, _long_ time. I know it won't be like this forever, but I do know that as long as I have the two of you with me, I don't have to worry."

Alice laughed lightly beside me. "And what's Edward? Chopped liver?"

"First of all Alice, you're a nerd for pulling that comment. Who says that anymore, anyways?" I laughed with her, squeezing her arm a little tighter. "Don't be silly. I love Edward more than anything, but you two are my girls. You're the sisters I never had. I would never replace you with anything, or anyone. Even if he's got a hot bod."

Laughing a bit louder, and recovering a bit from our emotional moment, we untangled ourselves right as the doorbell rang. Rosalie turned to head out of the door first, turning before she went down the hallway and leaned her hand on the doorframe.

"Well, I don't know about the two of you. But with the way Emmett makes me scream his name, I think you two have some stiff competition."

Our laughter didn't die down as we headed down the stairs, Rosalie opening the door for the guys. Alice and I were in the kitchen, waiting for our boys to make their entrance, but there was nothing. I had a nervous feeling in my gut and looked at Alice, who had the same expression on her face as I did.

"Rose, is everything okay?" I called out, walking to the door to see for myself before she answered.

"No, it's not. Stupid Emmett won't move and he's blocking the doorway!" She growled as she walked in the opposite direction and I turned to look for myself. And, no doubt, Emmett, clad in what seemed to be his nicest black slacks and light grey dress shirt, was standing in the doorway, mouth agape and completely frozen.

_Maybe we should have an ambulance on standby just in case?_

I laughed loudly at Emmett as his body started to move slowly forward as he was being pushed from behind by Jasper and Edward, Jasper's voice slightly muffled by Emmett's back. "Emmett, you big oaf! Move the hell out of the way!"

That seemed to snap him out of it, walking over to me and twirling me in a huge bear hug. "Well don't you look just as good as it smells in here! What's for dinner?"

I squealed and squirmed until he'd put me down and answered once he did. "Turkey. Mashed potatoes. You know, the works."

He tilted his head down and looked at me seriously. Well, as serious as he could for Emmett anyways. "Bells?"

"Uh, yeah?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

He leaned in a bit more, whispering dramatically. "How opposed are you to polygamy? You and Rosalie could make me a happy, happy man."

I giggled and began to retort back a smart ass comment before a velvet voice interrupted from behind Emmett. "I don't think so. She's taken."

I smacked Emmett's arm lightly and motioned for him to head inside, getting a quick hug and kiss on the cheek from Jasper, who wore similar black slacks as Emmett's but had on a white dress shirt instead, as he ran in to pull Alice into his arms. I looked back in front of me, sighing softly and smiling as I looked into the emerald green eyes that I loved. Edward's eyes took in my appearance as I raked my eyes over his sculpted body. His black dress shirt fit snugly along his body with a simple white tie paired with it, my favourite crooked smile immediately appearing as he wrapped his arms around my waist. All the nerves in me, those I knew of and those I didn't, immediately settled as I placed my hands on the back of his neck, playing with the tips of his silky hair.

"You look absolutely breathtaking." He said softly, his warm breath ticking my bare shoulder as he nuzzled into my hair.

"You don't look too bad yourself." I said softly, surprised at how breathless I sounded. No matter how short the time it had been between seeing him, I just couldn't get enough of Edward. That was something that would never change.

He pulled his head back slightly, eyes locked on mine as he cupped my cheek with his hand and leaned in to place his lips on mine. I responded immediately, lacing my fingers into his hair and pushing my body flush against his. It only took a few seconds before our kiss deepened, his tongue darting out to gently part my lips. I moaned quietly, not being able to hold anything in when he touched and kissed me like he did, which caused him to pull away. Showing my frustration, I pouted my bottom lip which made him chuckle softly and kiss it.

"Later. I promise." He said, pulling his arms away from my waist and gripping his hand around mine as he led us into the kitchen. It only took him a few steps before the doorbell rang again. I couldn't help but tense as it did, knowing my past with having unexpected visitors. I looked up to Edward nervously, confused as he smirked back down at me. "I hope you don't mind, but we invited a couple friends."

I looked at the rest of our group, both Rose and Alice wearing the same confused look as I was, and the other two Cullen boys matching the same smirk as Edward's. Turning back around, I glanced once more at Edward whose smile only seemed to widen, and walked to the door to see who was here. Once the door opened, I took in the familiar, warm faces in front of me and beamed.

"Carlisle! Esme!" I yelled happily, hugging them both at the same time. The worries of the holidays were easing away as they embraced me back, laughing at my enthusiasm. "I can't believe you're here!"

Esme pulled back, still laughing and cupped my cheek just as her son had a few moments before. "Trust me, we're surprised too. I would've thought Emmett had spoiled the surprise by now."

"Hey! I resent that!" Emmett hollered from the kitchen as the three of us laughed, me holding onto each one of their hands and bringing them into our own gathering.

"Yeah, Mom." Jasper chimed in from behind Alice, his arms still around her waist. "Emmett has a big mouth, but it's only used to fit in as much food as he can."

Everyone made their ways to hug Carlisle and Esme, laughing and embracing each other like family.

_Family._

I tensed unconsciously as the word rang through my thoughts, but I wasn't exactly sure what emotions it brought. It was overwhelming, the emotions I was feeling. It almost felt like… like my parents were alive. I felt the same emotions and feelings as I did when I was a teenager, spending Christmas with my parents. Opening presents by our Christmas tree, drinking hot chocolate by our fireplace. It was the only time where my parents and I had gone through an entire 24 hours without bickering, or without me being a smart ass. My vision became a little fuzzy as the tears gathered while the memories of the holidays with my parents came back in full force.

"Bella?" I snapped my head up at Edward's concerned voice, watching him as he walked back towards me and placed his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them up and down soothingly. "Hey, you okay?"

I took a deep breath in and let it out, nodding my head. "Yeah, it's just a little overwhelming. Everything's so perfect. I just keep remembering the holiday's with my parents. I don't know why, but with everyone here, it's just so… _real_."

He looked down at me, the love and adoration clear in his eyes, nodding his head in understanding of what I really meant. The two of us barely needed to explain our feelings in dept to each other anymore. It was as if we were each other's halves, knowing how the other was feeling all the time. "I love you."

"I love you too, Edward. Always." I said softly, placing a chaste kiss on his lips before turning back to everyone else. They all looked equally as worried as Edward had been, so I smiled to let them know that everything was alright. "Okay, now that everyone's here, how about we start dinner?"

Everyone helped bring the food to the table, though Edward was the only one sneaking in some touching as he did. He was obviously trying to be very coy about it too, smiling innocently and turning his attention away once I'd catch him in the act. Apparently I was the one trying to be well-behaved in front of his parents. Well, two can play at that game. So once dinner was finished and all the plates had been cleared for dessert, I took out the cheesecake from the fridge and set it on the counter. And, as expected, Edward wanted to come and 'help'. If only he knew what he was in for.

I crouched down to make it seem as if I was looking for something in the bottom cabinet of the kitchen island, taking my time and waiting for Edward to take the bait. And sure enough, only a few moments later, he stood beside me and leaned back against the island. "What're you looking for?"

"Well, I was looking for something." I said coyly, looking up at him and then back to his crotch. "But it looks like I've found something better."

"Oh, really?" Edward asked, his voice sounding a tad bit lower than usual.

"Mmhmm, I have." I trailed my fingers up from his knee to the zipper on the front of his slacks, biting my bottom lip as my fingers went up and down the zipper. "Much better."

"Bella." He groaned, his hand reaching down and stopping mine. "This isn't the right time to be playing games."

I stifled my laughter for his sake, keeping up with my actions. Standing up and closing the cupboard, I kept my hand in place and leaned my body onto his. "Oh no? Well, with the way you've been touching me all night, I just can't wait to play with you." I leaned farther and placed an open mouthed kiss on his Adam's apple, feeling the rumble of his low groan against my lips. "Isn't that what you want, Edward?"

I placed another kiss underneath his chin, causing him to swear under his breath. "You have no idea." He began to raise his arms to put them around me, so I quickly made my exit. I pulled my lips from his skin and turned to pick up the dessert from the counter, glancing back at him once more and smirking deviously.

"Sorry. The correct answer was fuck yes. Try again next time." I giggled and dodged his arm as he tried to grab me, walking back to the table and placing the cheesecake on were gathered along the table for a bit longer, the conversation always keeping us up with each other before we headed into the lounge. Before we knew it, it had just passed 1am and the yawns were becoming evident. Carlisle and Esme had started to leave, explaining that they were going to head over to the hotel before the boys stopped them. Apparently Alice had thought it would be a great idea for us all to wake up for Christmas morning altogether, so they were to bring their overnight clothes and necessities with them. So with that, Carlisle and Esme went to their condo with promise to be at our loft in the morning, leaving the six of us alone.

Poor, poor Edward. If only he knew the plans I had for him.

After everything was cleared, I headed up to my bedroom with Edward trailing behind me. Just as I had opened my door, I turned around and placed a hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks.

"You're getting changed in the washroom, and I'll be in my bedroom." I told him, his lips pouting and eyebrows knitting like a cute child.

"Why? Pretty sure I've seen every inch of your gorgeous body." He complained, placing his hands on my hips and trying to lead me into my bedroom. I didn't budge my feet and pushed a little more on his chest.

"Not the point." I kept my voice firm and demanding, needing to keep the act up and going. "I'll let you know that your little gropefest down there was insane. Your parents saw, and it was embarrassing Edward. You're lucky I'm not making you sleep on the sofa tonight. Now go to the washroom, please."

It hurt a little when I saw his expression, but it had to be done. He would appreciate it, I knew he would. But for now, I just had to go with it. He ducked his head, shaking it slowly and turned to the washroom with his bag in hand. I closed the door and quickly stripped out of my clothes, pulling out the new lingerie set I had bought. It was a royal blue lingerie set, entirely made of lace which left nothing to the imagination. The babydoll top barely covered my butt, and the back entirely uncovered down to my hips with ribbon criss-crossing the uncovered skin. The front dipped into a low v, the dark lace contrasting heavily with my pale skin. It was paired with a barely there royal blue thong, which I slipped on quickly as I heard footsteps coming back towards my door. I kept myself closer to the wall as Edward walked in, his dressed clothes gone and replaced with a white tshirt and plaid pajama pants, head still bowed as he headed straight for my bed and sat down.

"Bella, I'm sorry. Really, I didn't really think it through." His apology was slightly muffled as he rubbed his face with his hands and ran them through his hair. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, you know that. I just don't want you mad at me."

He sat there for a few more moments, letting his words sink in as I smiled at him. I had dimmed the room slightly, but I could still see everything. And I knew that he was genuinely sorry. Not like he really had something to be sorry for, but it was all part of the plan.

"Edward," I said softly, the insane need for him already showing in my voice. "Look at me."

He took in a deep breath, his back rising as he did, and looked up in my direction. Immediately, his upset expression had changed into a shocked one, his jaw dropped and eyes raking in my appearance. I smirked mischievously and walked closer to him.

"I'm sorry Edward, but I can't accept your apology right now." He swallowed loudly, his Adam's apple bobbing as he looked up at me. I leaned my head down, breathing against his skin and whispered into his ear. "What you did deserves a punishment."

I moved away and looked back down at him, not surprised that his striking green eyes had darkened a few shades, matching the need in mine. I pushed his chest back slightly for him to move farther onto the bed, and as he did I began to play with the bottom of my babydoll. "You're going to watch everything I do to you. But you can't touch me, ever. If I feel your fingers on me, I'll stop immediately. Do you understand?"

He nodded again, no words leaving his lips as he sat there shocked. I wasn't all that surprised. Whenever we were intimate, I had never been so dominant. But to be honest, I liked it. And from the reaction I was getting, especially the bulge in his pants, he liked it too. I slowly began to raise the babydoll, giving him a short show before pulling it off and exposing my breasts. His eyes were half-lidded, hooded with the lust and probably the pain of not being able to touch me. I moved closer towards him and pulled up his shirt, throwing it onto the floor as I did.

"Do you even know how bad you made me want you down there? Can you imagine me attacking you right in front of your parents? Is that what you wanted?" I whispered in his ear, flicking out my tongue to graze his ear lobe. "To fuck me in front of everyone, claiming me publicly?"

A low groan escaped his lips, so I knew that being harsh was definitely turning him on. It gave me more motive to continue. And more motive to go harder on him. I clicked my tongue, running my fingers down his firm pecs and chiseled abs, playing with the waistband of his pants. "I can't believe you Edward. Going through all of that work to just show people that I'm yours. Possessive, much?"

I started to pull down his pants, Edward raising his hips slightly to allow me to bring them down off of him. I glanced down at his hands which were gripping my sheets tightly, his knuckled white with tension. I ran my hands up his calves, rubbing circles around his thighs and moving closer to his erection.

"Well, I'll have to just teach you a lesson then, Edward. I need to make sure that you never do it again."

Just as slowly as I had with the babydoll top, I moved the lacy thong off of my body. Edward's eyes trailed my hands as I discarded the thong, running up and down my body. I saw his hands move up and immediately stopped him. "What did I say Edward? No touching, or I stop."

His hands went right back to the bed, clutching tightly once more as he moaned. I moved myself onto the bed, straddling his waist and leaned down to kiss him. His lips kissed me back fervently, his tongue entering my mouth and massaging my own. Pulling away, I gripped his base and teased my entrance slightly before pushing onto him. I went down slowly, allowing him to stretch me until he was completely in. His lips parted and bottom lip quivered as I surrounded him, a low breathy moan erupting as he filled me.

"No touching." I reminded him breathlessly, intertwining my fingers on the back of his neck and pulling out of him slightly before pushing back in. Our pace began slowly, neither one of us hurrying but rather taking our time just feeling each other. His shallow breaths matched mine, and our eyes locked on each other as I kept rocking against him. It was the most intimate thing, watching him and his every expression as he entered me over and over again. I arched my back, making him go deeper as I felt the familiar tightening in me.

"Please." Edward whimpered as I kept riding him. "Please Bella, let me touch you. Please."

I couldn't allow him to beg any longer, needing his hands on me just as much as he did. Nodding my head and moaning as I did, his arms flew up and gripped my sides. I felt myself almost at my peak, moaning and whimpering Edward's name as he thrust himself into me harshly. He knew I was close and rolled me over onto my back, my legs immediately wrapping around his waist as he did. His lips met mine, kissing me hard and biting my bottom lip as he kept pushing into me.

"Edward, please." I cried as I pulled away, so close already.

"Wait for me, Bella." He said gruffly, moving his lips to my neck and sucking on the sensitive skin there. He wrapped his arms around my back, placing his hands on my shoulders. He kept thrusting into me again and again, muffling his groans into my neck while I gripped onto his shoulders and dug my nails into his skin. I had no doubt that it would've left a mark, but the way I was feeling at that moment, I couldn't help it. I needed something to hold on to while I waited for him or else I wouldn't have been able to. His groans became louder, and I knew he was there. "Now Bella."

I let go, my walls contracting against him as my orgasm rode me out, leaving me completely breathless and spent. With one last groan, I felt his own release in me as he stilled, placing some of his body weight on me as he tried to catch his breath just like I was. We stayed like that for a while, his arms wrapped around me while I stroked his back lovingly.

After a few moments, Edward pulled out of me, causing me to wince slightly. He moved back as he felt me, the alarm showing on your face. "Bella, did I hurt you? Are you okay?"

I placed a finger on his lips to stop his rambling, smiling sleepily. "I'm more than okay."

Edward sighed and fell back into my arms, his cheek placed above my heart as I continued to stroke his hair.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered groggily, settling more into my arms.

"I love you too, Edward. More than you'll ever know." I whispered back, allowing the sleep to take over me.

* * *

**Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just Bella's dominatrix attitude? **


	36. Chapter 36 Perfection

**Alright, this is the last chapter before the epilogue. It's Christmas time!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**EPOV**

The bright sun woke me up in the morning, making me groan at how damn early it was. I turned to look at the clock on the wall, realizing it really wasn't all that early. It was 10am, and probably the latest I had slept in for a while. I looked down into my arms, where Bella was still sleeping. Her back rose and fell with every deep breath she took, her hair flowing over my arm as her head rested on my chest. We had pretty much swapped positions over night, but there was nothing better than waking up with her in my arms. Better than that? Waking up to her naked in my arms.

Oh, so much better.

And as much as I wanted her to sleep, I knew she wouldn't be happy if she slept in for any longer. It was Christmas morning, and my parents would show up at the door soon with their gifts. Not only that, but with Emmett in the house, there was a need for more than just two hands making breakfast. Not that I would let her do it all on her own, I was fully capable of making breakfast. And that was what I would do for everyone that morning. I began slowly running my fingers up her spine, a low moan and my name in a breathy sigh leave her lips. It didn't help my morning wood, but it did feel good knowing that even in her sleep, I was on her mind. Nothing better knowing that from your girl. A few minutes later, Bella started to shift in my arms, signaling she was awake. She nuzzled into my chest before raising her head to look at me, a sleepy smile spreading on her face.

"Merry Christmas, beautiful."

"Merry Christmas." She said, her voice still rough from her sleep. "What time is it?"

"Just after 10, so it's time we round up everyone for breakfast." I told her, pushing back some of the strands of hair from her face.

"Oh, I should've set my alarm." Her eyes widened as she realized she'd slept in and she started to move up off of the bed. "Can you start waking everyone up while I make breakfast?"

"Nope. I'll leave that to you. This morning, it's Cullen's kitchen."

My plan was already working perfectly when she froze in her spot and looked at me incredulously. Well, at first, but then my favourite smile lit up her face.

"Really? Are you sure, Edward?"

I stroked the back of my fingers along her cheek, her head immediately leaning against my hand. "I'm positive. Let me do this for you."

"You really are perfect, you know that right?" She smirked sexily at me, pecking me softly on my lips before getting off of the bed to go grab clothes from her drawers. I bit back a moan as she walked away still completely nude, wanting her already but I knew we would've been even more late than we were already.

The things I would do for the gorgeous, not to mention _still_ naked, woman in front of me.

_Hold on, did she just grab _those_ panties? _

_Okay Edward, it's time to get up and leave. NOW._

Bella really had no idea what she did to me. I swear, I never thought those boy short panties were hot until I saw them on her, changing everything. Then again, Bella coming into my life changed so many things. Since I'd met her, never again did I see that guy who managed to screw any girl that showed interest in him when he wanted and was completely stuck in every aspect in his life. No, not anymore. Now it was the guy who was hopelessly, and almost pathetically in love with the most amazing woman in the world and actually, _really_ saw everything clearly. Bella may have been the one thanking me for helping her through her own demons, but it was really her that brought me out of my darkness.

She was it for me.

And really, I couldn't have been any happier than I was then.

I mean, hell, I've got my girl. I've got my brothers, even if they're annoying as hell sometimes. Okay, maybe that goes for Emmett more than Jasper, but my point stays regardless. I had the most supportive parents. And hell, throw in Rosalie and Alice in there and you've got the package all set. I mean, nothing's perfect without the epic bitch and spazzy pixie right?

But while I was batching everything together for breakfast, cutting up all the vegetables and whipping up the omelets, I realized that there was still something missing. The plan for New York was always the same: complete the dream. And the dream was having my own restaurant, running my own place and having it full of satisfied people. But like I said, I was stuck before Bella, so Midnight Sun was where I stayed. I didn't want to be a bartender for the rest of my life, but I never had that push to go out there and make risky choices which could land me in the jackpot. So now, when everything was perfect as it was, I wanted to go out there. I _wanted_ to make my dream come true, but I didn't know where to start. And hell, I had no idea how long it would take. I wanted to be with Bella, but I didn't want to start all over and instead of me taking care of her, possibly her doing the opposite.

And no fucking way was I letting her have any more to deal with as it was.

Either way, I was going to talk to Bella about it. But I wouldn't do that now, I'd wait until later when we were alone.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I jumped as Alice's voice interrupted whatever thoughts were going through my head.

"Jeez Alice, could you at least make any noise? You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry!" She giggled, sitting up on a chair across from me. "You just looked like you were in your own little world there, Edward. And, I actually did say Merry Christmas to you on my way down."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't –"

She waved me off with her tiny hand. "Hear me, I know. Which makes me wonder what's really up."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, tugging slightly. "I don't know Alice, it's just –"

I was interrupted again by the knocking on the front door, about to tell Alice that we'd talk later before she beat me to it. Well, actually it was more than she told me that everything would work out. How she knew that, I had no idea, but I left it. She jumped off the chair and scurried over to the door, my parents following her when she came back. I quickly hugged them both, wishing them a merry Christmas too before I went back to breakfast. I was about to ask Alice to see if everyone was ready before I heard Emmett run down the stairs.

"Presents!" He hollered, running right to the Christmas tree we'd all set up in the lounge, but was stopped by my mother.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, where are your manners?" She scolded.

"Sorry mom." Emmett lowered his head and mumbled. Jasper and I started to laugh quietly when he came down, immediately shutting up and apologizing just as Emmett had when we got the same look from our mother.

I heard Bella's beautiful giggle beside Emmett, her hand reaching over and patting his stomach gently.

"How about we fill this up first, and then presents later?"

I swear, the smile on Emmett's face was the biggest I'd seen yet. Emmett could've been the biggest guy in New York, but he was also the biggest suck. Even Mom couldn't help herself from laughing and we all let it out.

Breakfast went surprisingly well. My parents were surprised that I'd cooked, considering I hadn't cooked for them for too long, but dug in faster than Emmett had. The compliments kept coming, and my face couldn't help but heat up when they did. It was weird. Girls coming at me and flirting were one thing, but someone telling me how good my cooking was, well that was completely out of my normal zone you could say. I loved it. But that got me wondering if I'd hear it more often than just with family and friends.

After we quickly cleaned, much to Emmett's dismay, we gathered around the tree and started taking out gifts. I'm pretty sure I heard Emmett growl when Alice tried to pick up one for Jasper, which made her hand make a direct route to the biggest gift named to Emmett.

Everyone exchanged their gifts, shared laughs and even some tears. That went for Emmett when Rosalie got him the newest Call of Duty video game. Not only was it from his favourite series, but it also hadn't even come into stores yet. My father almost went to check if he was alright after he just sat completely frozen in his spot, mouth agape and staring at the game until Rosalie asked if he was alright. When he pounced on her, we figured he was alright. The girls each received a full spa treatment at the most luxurious spa in New York from my father, and a trip for all of us to Europe from my mother. I couldn't wait for that considering backpacking through Europe was something I'd always dreamed to do.

Dreams… if only I could make my biggest one come true.

I tried to get that thought out of my head, for the sake of the holidays and having all of my loved ones around me, but couldn't help letting it slip a few times. Bella had rubbed her hand soothingly on my back asking me if I was alright and I told her I was, kissing her lips chastely as well, and went back to watching the gifts unwrap.

Rosalie gave my parents a giant collage frame, full of candid photos of the six of us, which made Mom tear up a bit and smile. Emmett promised Rosalie to a full shopping weekend, which was definitely a huge one for him considering Emmett and shopping did _not_ go together. Not only that, but shopping with Rosalie Hale. We already knew how bad Alice was, but Rosalie was apparently just as bad. We immediately felt bad for Bella when she'd tell us they were taking her out shopping, but apparently she was used to it. Whatever the hell that meant.

Almost all of the gifts were exchanged before I pulled out the small rectangular box out from underneath the tree, sitting back on the seat beside Bella and placing it on her lap. She gasped softly, realizing it was a jewelry box, looking down at the wrapped gift and back at me. Her gleaming brown eyes looked back up to me and I smiled down at her, kissing her softly again.

"Just a little something from me. I'd give you the world if I could, so consider this as just the beginning."

Her face broke out in a huge smile before she pecked my lips, ripping the wrap off of the box. She gasped again when she felt the soft velvet, running her finger across it before she slowly opened it.

"Oh my God," she breathed. Her fingers hovered over the necklace, as if she was scared it would break if she touched it.

"Do you like it?" I asked her softly, not like it did anything to ward off the attention from the others around us. They had their full attention on us, and mostly Bella's reaction. She looked back up at me, her brown orbs full of emotion, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I love it, thank you." I reached over, taking the diamond necklace out of its spot and put it around her neck. Her hand touched it gently, sighing contently. "I love you."

"I love you too. Hold onto that thought, there's more." I chuckled, grabbing the other gift I'd gotten her from underneath the tree. It was a little bigger than and not as extravagant as her necklace, but it definitely had me more nervous than the other. I sat back in my seat, pulling away her empty box and placing the gift on her lap. She looked up at me confused. "I know we promised only one gift, but technically this isn't only from me, so it works."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Leave it to you to find loopholes."

Bella ripped away the gift wrap to unfold the navy blue scrapbook, her fingers once again grazing over the embossment on the front of it.

_Charlie and Renee Swan_

_A Celebration of Love and Life_

The room was in complete silence, listening and waiting for Bella's reaction. I was terrified considering I had no idea what to expect, but I wouldn't let that show. This was all for her. I watched her face express the various emotions before finally flipping over the front cover. A breathy sigh left her lips, the fresh tears beginning to fall slowly down her face.

When we'd gone to Seattle, going to Forks was never on Bella's mind. It was on mine, in part for her to get better by going, but also to settle the nerves she had about going back. The shit Tanya had pulled left her in fear about what everyone really thought of her. She never voiced it, but I knew Bella. I knew the constant worry about her childhood loved ones hating her was eating her inside, and I wasn't going to just let her deal with that.

After talking to Carlisle the day we'd arrived and getting his own advice, we'd arranged that Esme would have a girls day with Bella. And then, I took matters into my own hands.

Inside that scrapbook were photographs and scribbles of words, dedicated to Charlie and Renee. I was in shock over the amount of people who were more than willing to do this for Bella. There was so much love for Charlie and Renee, it was overwhelming. After hearing all the stories, it hurt even more since that day Bella and I went to the cemetery. They'd sacrificed so much for Bella and their loved ones, and they all but remembered. They'd laugh through their tears over their stories. I would never have regretted doing this for her, not after any of that.

Bella flipped through each page slowly, laughing at the picture of Charlie holding up a tiny fish, where his friend Billy had written how it had been his first catch. Her soft sob when she saw a picture of Charlie and Renee at their wedding, her mother's best friend Elizabeth telling her how beautiful Renee had looked, and how excited she was to be spending her life with Charlie. Her giggles engulfed the room at the picture of Charlie in full uniform – minus the pants. Apparently he'd spilt coffee on them and asked Renee to bring him another pair, but not before the other officers snapped a picture of him. The look on his face was shock, and they even wrote how he'd tried to chase after them to get the camera. Apparently he thought the evidence was long gone. She even groaned at her naked baby picture that Elizabeth had also placed.

When the last page came, her breath came out in a soft sob again. It was of her mother holding her as an infant in a tight bundle, hours after she'd been born, and her father hovering over the both of them. The expressions on both of their faces were exactly alike as they looked down at the little girl who completed their lives.

I tightened my arm around her and kissed the top of her head, resting my cheek against her hair. She leaned into me, gently caressing the final picture.

"Edward, this was… I don't even know what to say." She whispered.

I placed my finger underneath her chin and tilted her face up to mine. "You don't need to say anything."

Closing the distance between us, I kissed her gently as she sighed once we met. She cupped my cheek and caressed my skin with her thumb once we'd pulled apart.

"Thank you."

I was going to pull her into my lap before she got up, placing the scrapbook on the table before sitting back down with a wrapped gift. She was biting her lip, noticeably nervous, and turned to me.

"This is for you."

She placed the small box in my hand, which I unwrapped quickly and took off the lid. Inside there were a bunch of paper documents, a pen, and a set of keys. I was completely confused, having no idea what Bella gave me. Looking back up at her, her expression was still nervous as she began to explain what everything meant.

"When we were in Seattle, Esme told me about what you really came to New York for, Edward. You'd been dreaming about having your own restaurant forever, and that's what New York was all about. But your parents told me that you were at a standstill with it. You wanted it, but wouldn't go for it. So, when we got back, I did some searching. I mean, with everyone's help that is. There was a place for sale in the city core and after checking it out, I thought it would've been perfect for a new restaurant. I had everyone see it before I did anything because I wanted it to be perfect for you. Everyone helped in their own way, the place is all decorated and finished. Rosalie and Alice worked out the decorations, Emmett and Jasper with the hiring, and your parents with some of the other business aspects. I also managed to compromise with the seller so he'd let us have everything finished before you signed. The only thing missing is the name, so we've got those on hold right now. Um, those papers, they're for the building and land. The keys are for the building. And the pen is for you to sign it and have your restaurant, in your name. If you want, that is."

She stopped her quick rambling and waited for my answer. I was in complete and utter shock, probably looking like Emmett did when he got his video game. And at that moment, I was pretty sure I knew how he felt. I looked up at everyone's faces, their anxious faces showing that they wanted to be happy for me, but weren't sure if it was right. My eyes went back down to the papers, holding my entire future in them.

"Bella," I whispered. "I can't believe you did all this."

"I'm sorry, I knew this would've been too much. I'm such an–"

I shut her up quickly, grabbing the back of her neck and crashing my lips into hers. I quickly slid my tongue out of my mouth, flicking it over her bottom lip before grazing her own tongue with mine, showing her how much I felt right then. When I heard her quiet moan, I pulled away and rested my forehead on hers, both of us panting heavily.

There was no other way that Bella could've been more perfect.

I was completely floored that she would do that all for me. She made it sound so easy, but I knew that she had busted her ass off for everything to come together, and so fast too.

"Wow, that was hot." Emmett said, breaking the silence in the room. A resounding smack was the next sound that was made. "Ow! What the hell, Rosie?"

"Way to ruin the moment, you big oaf." She spat, shaking her head and crossing her arms around her chest.

Jasper scoffed and came up to Emmett's defense. "Oh come on Rosalie, don't tell me that didn't get you all hot and bothered. Damn it Alice! I was just joking!"

"Yeah, and I'm just joking when I say that my new Louboutin's will be up your ass!" She sneered, pulling harder on his ear and making him cry out Mom's name in pain.

Bella and I broke out in laughter, and lifted her up onto my lap, holding her tightly against me.

"I don't think so, you two know better than that." Mom giggled, trying to maintain her composure by placing her hand on her mouth. Except for the fact that her shaking shoulders completely gave her away.

Emmett and Jasper then turned to Dad, who shrugged and placed his arm around Mom.

"Sorry, you're on your own on this one boys. The ladies are right, as usual." Figures he'd use that line, considering the fact that my mother turned over and placed a kiss on his lips.

Really, and they wonder where the Cullen boys got their charm?

I felt Bella's hand on my knee, squeezing lightly to get my attention. I pulled my head back slightly, meeting myself with the beautiful brown eyes that held me in the first moment I laid my eyes on them.

"I love you, Edward Cullen. More than you'll ever know." She whispered, smiling widely.

I raised my hand up, trailing my fingers up her jaw and cheekbone, feeling her warmth. "Bella Swan, you're the love of my life. There's only you, and there will only be you. I love you."

And it was there, around our loved family and friends, that I felt the completion that I needed.

My dreams were all coming true. I had the greatest support system, family and friends that no one could've imagined. And to top it all off, I had the one woman who captured my heart with me.

It was then, that I knew that I was home.

Everything was _perfect_.

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**Jeez, I need me a super sweet and romantic Edward. Anyone want to hook me up?**


	37. Chapter 37 Epilogue

**Here it is! The epilogue to Compromises and Promises!  
I'll ramble down there. Race ya!  
****Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

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**BPOV**

"Stupid goddamn New York traffic." I grumbled, looking at my side view mirror to see if I could get into the next lane.

_Nope, didn't think so._

I didn't know why I let the traffic bother me more than usual. You'd think that years of dealing with the incessant road rage would make me immune to it, but I wasn't showing that now. Well, it partly had to do with the fact that I was late getting home and to Edward.

A few months after Christmas, Edward had asked me to move in with him. Obviously, I agreed to it, but knew I had to talk it over with Rosalie and Alice first. When the three of us were alone, we found out that Edward wasn't the only one that wanted me to move in with him. Apparently the Cullen boys had talked it out, and Emmett and Jasper had both asked the girls to move in with them as well.

So that left me with a problem: the loft. I didn't want to get rid of it, considering how it was picked out by my parents before they died. It would always hold a strong part of my heart especially with all the memories through the years – good ones and bad ones. When I had brought this up to Edward, he told me that selling the loft was a reason why he'd held back from asking me to move in with him long before. So he suggested that I didn't sell it, but rather rent it out instead. I thought it was a great idea, and after some paperwork with the owner, it was done. I'd gone through several applicants and settled on three girls, all heading to NYU in September. Edward and I moved in to our own condo shortly after, leaving the loft vacant for the girls when they'd move in the few months later.

Living with Edward was nothing like I'd imagined. I was slightly nervous about it at first, wondering if our daily activities would clash or if he had any bad habits. But, surprisingly, there was nothing like that. He had admitted to me that working late nights at Midnight Sun had ruined his habit of being a morning person, but now that he had his own restaurant, that was done with.

I was so proud of him and of how successful he'd become shortly after opening the restaurant. Between the six of us, we had an excessive amount of reputable contacts and had invited them all to his opening night. Of course, they were thrown back at the entire restaurant. Unique concept, ideal location, relaxing environment and not to mention the delicious food. Once they'd leave, word of mouth spread and had brought his restaurant to the point where people had to book days if not weeks in advance for tables. Edward went to and from work with a huge smile on his face, happy that he could embark on the career he'd always wanted. He finally had his dream, and that was all I had ever wanted for him.

And, of course, living with Edward definitely had its perks. Going to bed and waking up with him, both times in his embrace, was something I never took advantage of. We were always comfortable with each other, so there was no hesitation when we had things on our mind. Edward was my love, but he was also my best friend.

Another perk? I would never have to worry about keeping it down, waking up others, or having anyone walk in on us.

Edward had actually insisted on christening every counter, wall, and piece of furniture in our condo.

And christen we did. Thoroughly.

I cursed loudly when another driver pushed themselves in front of me and cut me off, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. Edward had asked me to be at home by 6, and it was already 6:15. I heard my phone ring from its holder, Edward's name flashing up on the screen, and I turned on my car's wireless phone system.

"Edward, I'm so sorry I'm late. I'm stuck in traffic."

He sighed. "Bella, it's alright, but would you at least call me and tell me that? I was worried something had happened."

"Sorry." I mumbled, feeling bad that I hadn't even thought about that.

"It's okay, as long as you're alright."

"Except I'm not." I groaned, pushing the gas when the light turned green and narrowing my eyes at the same car from before. "I swear to God, if you cut me off again I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Whoa, easy there tiger." Edward chuckled.

I couldn't help but laugh at my ridiculous road rage. "Sometimes I wonder why we live here. New York drivers drive me fucking insane. Not to mention give me the dirtiest mouth possible."

"I wouldn't complain about that, I quite like that dirty mouth of yours." His voice was much deeper. I blushed and squirmed in my seat.

"Hm, well I'll make sure to keep that in mind," I teased. "Okay, I'm just a couple lights away. So, are you willing to actually tell me _why_ you had my professor let me out early from our meeting today?"

"Nope," he said, popping his p. "Sorry birthday girl, you know I don't give in that easy."

I groaned and hit my head on the steering wheel. I knew he was going to pull some sort of birthday plans on me, even when I had told him that I just wanted it to be the both of us. If anything, his brothers and the girls could join us, but that was it. It wasn't the fact that I wasn't over my parents' death, because it was definitely a sensitive topic today with it being the anniversary of their death. It was that I just wasn't comfortable celebrating it. I didn't want everyone to make a big deal out of it. Another birthday, another year. I didn't want to celebrate it with a huge amount of randoms, but rather my own loved ones.

"Edward, I thought we discussed that –"

"You know, you shouldn't be on your phone while you drive. Definitely a safety hazard." He interrupted.

That had me confused.

"Edward, you know that I have wireless –"

"Thank you, baby. I know I'm right, now hurry your pretty ass home. Love you!" He said quickly and hung up.

I rolled my eyes at his childish behaviour, but couldn't help but smile. He told me he had something planned for today, and it was obvious how hard he was trying to keep it a secret for me over the past couple of weeks. Typical Edward to go all out over the smallest things. But that's why I loved him.

After another several minutes of road death, I finally turned and parked into the building's parking lot. Once I unlocked and opened the door to our condo, I was met with complete darkness.

"Edward?" I called out, suddenly nervous. He had just called me less than ten minutes before and was obviously at home, so where could he have been? And why were all the lights off? I couldn't help all the sudden flashes of terrible things happening to him.

My breathing picked up and my heart was racing as I took those two steps to the side, turning around and blindly searching for the light switch. Once I felt it, I took a deep breath in, swallowed loudly and flicked it on.

"SURPRISE!"

I shrieked and spun around, a little ungracefully on my part because my heels twisted and I landed flat on my ass. When I looked up, still panting from having the life scared out of me, I saw Alice kneeling in front of me, her lips twitching as she attempted to hold back her giggles.

"Bella, are you okay?" She half-asked, half-giggled.

I rolled my eyes and smacked away her outstretched hand. "Let it out, Alice, before you combust."

And let it out she did. I sat there frustrated, my arms crossed as she fell to the ground, clutching her sides as she laughed hysterically. After a few seconds, I couldn't help but break from watching her. I swatted her butt and laughed, getting up from the ground with her following. Looking back up, my eyes narrowed once they set on Edward.

"You _would_, Edward."

He put his arms up in defense and chuckled. "Hey, it wasn't all me! I had some help, you know."

I set my sights on Emmett and Jasper, who immediately blanched and denied it. Edward's head snapped to their direction once they'd blamed it all back on him.

"Bro, I love you and all, but there is no way I'm covering you for your girl when she looks at me like _that_." Emmett said, quickly rushing over to Rosalie and hiding behind her.

Jasper grabbed a hysterical Alice and threw him in front of her as his very own human shield. "For the first time in my life, I'm admitting that Emmett's right. No hard feelings though, right?"

Edward growled his response and realized he was cornered. He crossed his arms and gazed down at the ground, but I didn't miss his bottom lip jut out a bit. I bit the corner of my lip to stifle my giggling at how adorable he was and decided to let my façade go. I walked up to him and placed my hands on each one of his cheeks, smiling softly once he sighed and raised his head.

"Thank you, Edward." I said, stroking his cheek with my thumb to show him that I wasn't being all that serious before. "I didn't expect you to listen to me when I said no celebrating, so I was ready to handle what I could, but this isn't too bad. This is perfect, actually."

I stepped onto my toes and kissed his lips gently, pulling away much sooner than I wanted. But we had guests, apparently. I turned around and Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest before I saw Esme walk out of our kitchen holding a lit up birthday cake. I leaned back into Edward's arms, sighing happily when he'd held me tighter and beaming up at Esme when she began to sing Happy Birthday. Once everyone joined in, it was the typical, unbelievably off-key singing of Happy Birthday ever, but I loved it.

When they were halfway through, I pulled my eyes away from the cake and finally looked around at my loved ones.

Carlisle was standing across from Esme, raising his glass up at me in cheers. Emmett and Jasper had their arms around each other's shoulders, singing (or rather, screaming) as loud as their voices would let them, rocking from side to side to the beat of the song. I laughed when I saw Rosalie and Alice watching the both of them, singing through their own laughter though it clearly looked like they weren't doing all that well with that. My mother's best friend Elizabeth was even there and I could see the tears in her eyes even though her smile showed that she was nothing but happy to be there. I recognized her husband Tony beside her, his arm around her waist as he sang with everyone else. Alec was beside them singing nervously, which wasn't out of the norm for Alec to be uncomfortable in these kind of situations, with a pretty blonde girl beside him. I made a mental note to have him introduce us after, but right then, I was enjoying my birthday.

I looked back up at Esme and my vision immediately glossed over as my tears bundled. Esme treated me with the motherly affection I had longed for since I'd met her, and the way she was looking at me then was an exact replica of my mother's every birthday she shared with me. A stray tear fell down my cheek when they'd finished singing and once Esme had placed the cake on the table I couldn't help but leave Edward's arms and run into Esme's. She held me back just as tight as I was holding her and kissed the top of my head, gently running her fingers down my hair.

"They'd be so proud of you, Bella. Just as we are." She whispered. It was exactly what I needed to fill the emptiness I had on the anniversary of my mom and dad's death.

I may not have had my parents, but I definitely had the next best thing.

I pulled back and Esme wiped my tears away, her soft smile matching mine. "Make a wish, sweetheart."

Turning around, I looked back at everyone around me, smiling at them to show that I was alright. Of course, the worried look on their faces didn't shift all that much, but I couldn't really blame them for that. Edward's face had me heartbroken again and I knew he was regretting having gathered everyone, so when his eyes locked on mine I smirked and winked, mouthing to him that I loved him. Once I saw the beginning of my favourite crooked smile, I let out a sigh of relief and turned back to the birthday cake sitting in front of me. I closed my eyes and leaned down.

_I wish for everything to be this way, for nothing to change._

Opening my eyes, I looked up at Edward through my lashes and blew out the twenty-three candles.

After everyone had seconds of Edward's delicious dinner and everything was thrown in the wash, we began to make our way to the living room for some drinks. I was definitely having an even better time than I had thought, even though it was still a little hard celebrating my first birthday after everything, but it was going much better than expected. And that was more than I had ever wanted, really.

I was finishing up washing my hands at the kitchen sink and drying them off on a towel when I felt a hard body press against my back.

"Happy birthday, Bella." Edward whispered, wrapping his arms around my stomach and placing a kiss on the side of my neck.

"You know, I should probably count how many times you've said that to me today." I giggled, leaning back into him and placing my hands on his.

"Wouldn't matter, you'd lose count." He stated confidently and kissed my shoulder. "This is the first of many birthdays I get to spend with you. I want to make the first one memorable."

I furrowed my brows and leaned to the side to look up at him. "Edward, it's already memorable. It would've been memorable even if it was just me and you stuck in some ditch somewhere. All that matters is that you're with me, I could care less about the rest."

His eyes darkened in desire, without a doubt matching exactly what I felt. Placing my hand on the back of his neck, I guided his head down to meet mine and placed my lips on his. He kissed me back firmly, not bothering for any soft kisses, and sucked my bottom lip between his own before flicking his tongue against it. I let out a breathy moan and parted my lips against his, my tongue brushing against his own. His hand drifted under my shirt and lifted it slightly before he placed it on the soft skin of my stomach, the heat of his hand warming my entire body up but making me shiver in pleasure. I was just about ready to pull him into the closest room before someone cleared their throat behind us. Edward sighed in frustration, pulled away hesitantly and pecked my lips once more before he turned to snap at whoever interrupted us.

"What the fu- oh, hey Alec." He said, chuckling when Alec blushed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you two. But I was wondering if I could speak privately with the both of you?" He pursed his lips as he waited for our answer, but it didn't seem as if he was nervous or worried which definitely had me feeling better.

"Sure thing, Alec. Would you rather we head over to another room, or is here okay?" I asked him.

Alec turned around and saw that everyone was already in the living room which meant that they were a safe distance away from us. "No, this is fine." He said when he turned back to us. "I wanted to discuss this news in person rather than on the phone, so I left it for tonight."

When Edward and I looked at him in confusion, he spoke up.

"It's about Tanya."

I instantly stiffened when he said her name and Edward's hand instinctively tightened around my waist. We had been so preoccupied with everything else in our life and on moving on that we hadn't even let Tanya go through our mind once. I didn't mind it, and I'm sure Edward didn't either, since her memory definitely wasn't a good one. It wasn't that I was all that upset about what she'd said anymore since I knew that it was all complete bull anyways after going to Forks myself and from what was said in my Christmas gift from Edward and all of them. Rather, it was that I really, _really_ wanted to ruin that plastic face of hers.

Alec's eyes widened at our reaction, quickly putting up his hands and shaking his head. "No, no! Not like that, it's nothing bad. Well, for you two anyways."

He stopped again and Edward groaned in frustration. "Alec, seriously, you can't keep doing that. Just spit it out."

"Sorry." He muttered and placed the newspaper he was apparently holding that I missed, handing it over to Edward. I glanced over as Edward held it in front of the both of us, my jaw dropping as I read the headline.

_Denali's Not as Innocent as Portrayed: Power Family Headed to Jail_

"Apparently Tanya's father did more than just run his own corporation, he also had his hand in blackmailing and extorting other successful business owners that he found threatening." Alec explained. "His wife and Tanya played equal parts as well, seducing and manipulating others to get their hands on valuable information. I also had investigators go through my office after she had gone through my personal documents and had evidence against her, so that's another handful of charges against Tanya. Even with all the money in their bank accounts, there's no way they can get out of everything."

I looked back up at Alec, still in complete shock over what he'd told us. "Wow." I breathed.

"Yeah, definitely." Edward nodded, giving Alec back the paper. "I don't really care if I'm being an asshole about this either, but I don't feel bad for her at all. Or her parents, for that matter. They got exactly what they deserved."

Alec nodded at Edward. "I couldn't agree with you more, Edward. Bella, I also wanted to tell you that Jacob was admitted back into the psychiatric hospital shortly after he was brought back to Forks. He's going through intensive therapy due to the new things he dealt with after Tanya manipulated him, so he'll be in there for a while. I've held this off for a while, partly due to your own recovery and waiting on the judge's word which was recently given to me. What I do need to know from you now is if you want to press charges against him for breaking his restraining order against you."

I sighed and looked up at Edward, thinking hard about what my choice would be although I had thought about it after one of my past sessions with Esme. "I don't really think that's necessary. If it weren't for Tanya, he wouldn't have come to New York to see me. It's not like he planned it all himself."

Edward nodded, agreeing with me and rubbed his hand up and down my side.

"I felt the same way, and I am proud of you for making the right decision. Oh, there's also one last thing I'd like to discuss with you both." He turned around and signaled for someone to come over, the blonde woman who was with him walking up to his side. "Bella. Edward. This is Jane, my girlfriend."

I recovered from our previous shock and smiled genuinely at her, stretching out my hand to her. "Nice to meet you, Jane. Thanks for coming."

Edward shook her hand and she giggled. "Thank you for having me. I didn't want to intrude, but Alec just wouldn't let it go. He insisted that I meet you."

"I'm not surprised." I laughed and looked over at Alec. "He's just as stubborn as I am. If it weren't for him, I would've given up a long time ago."

Alec blushed again and laughed, embarrassed at the praising I was giving him. After some quick, light conversation, we headed back to the living room where everyone was waiting. Many conversations, and some cake eating after, we started to open presents. Alice and Rosalie, knowing the both of them, gave me lingerie which had Emmett hollering for me to show them off. After Rosalie smacked him a few times, he finally got the hint and sulked back into the couch. I rolled my eyes at his puppy dog look and complete deflation, so I pulled out some lacy top and showed him the top portion before stuffing it back inside the bag. His dimples were on full display when he beamed at me and pumped his fist in the air.

Seriously, the guy would never change no matter how old he would get.

After some more gift exchanging and embarrassing moments courtesy of Emmett and Jasper, I leaned back into the couch and into Edward's arms.

"Enjoying your birthday?" He asked, rubbing my thigh soothingly even though it had me tingling inside.

"Couldn't be anymore perfect." I sighed contently.

Edward laughed. "Well, let's see if I can change that."

I pulled myself back up, looking at him in confusion when he just smirked at me and stood up from the couch. It looked like he was digging in his pocket before he stepped in front of me and kneeled down on one knee. I gasped and placed my hand on my mouth, frozen in shock at the gorgeous man in front of me as the entire room fell into complete silence.

"Bella, before you came into my life, I had no idea who I was or who I was going to be. I was stuck in the same spot every day, waiting for something to come and change me into who I really was. That something was you. We've both dealt with hurt and sadness since we'd first met, but I never doubted myself when I was with you. You held me together. You were the one that filled that void in my life. Bella, it was all _you_."

The tears that were gathering started to fall down my face as I looked into the same emerald green eyes that had captured me the moment I first laid my eyes on them.

"You always thank me for being there for you, for making you whole again. But it was you who did that for me. If you hadn't loved me, I would never have made it to where I am today, much less be there for you when you needed me. I would never become the man I am now, the man you deserve. Regardless, meeting you and falling in love with you is the biggest accomplishment I've ever had in my life. You've made all my dreams come true. Well, all but this one."

He held up the small velvet box in his hand and opened it with the other. Another gasp left my lips as I saw the most beautiful ring I had ever seen, the large diamond in the middle shining against the light while the smaller ones around it did the same.

"I want to wake up with you every morning and kiss your finger that holds this ring to my heart. I want to show you off to the world as my wife, the only woman who will ever hold my heart. I want to prove to everyone that with this ring, you really are mine. I want to see you holding my child in your arms, loving whatever God gives us as much as I love you. I want to grow old with you and show you every single day of my life that I love you. That I'll always love you, and that there's _only_ you. Isabella Marie Swan, will you make my dream come true?"

A sob left as I nodded my head furiously. Edward's smile widened at my reaction before I threw myself into his arms and wrapped my hands around his neck before kissing him fervently.

"No discretion, I'm telling you." Emmett muttered and yelped when another smack filled the room. "Alice! What the hell is wrong with you?"

I looked up and saw Alice shrug. "Rose's been doing it all night, so I wanted to see if it helps. I can see why she does it now."

Jasper laughed loudly but then yelped just as Emmett had. "Rosalie!"

"You're right Alice, it does help changing it up a bit. Maybe we should switch sometimes." She shrugged nonchalantly just like her sister had and turned back to look at Edward and I. I brought my attention back to the man I was completely in love with and smiled before placing my lips on his once more.

"As much as I'm enjoying this, can I please put this on your finger now?" He said, brushing his lips against mine between words. I giggled and pulled away, nodding and lifting up my left hand.

He took my hand in his and looked straight in my eye, placing a kiss on my ring finger before looking back down and sliding the ring onto it. I couldn't help but be in awe over how perfect it looked, as if my finger was really just there for his ring to be on it and smiled.

After admiring my new ring, I gazed back up at my new fiancé and stifled the girlish giggling when I called him that.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too, Edward. And I can't wait to be Mrs. Edward Cullen." I smiled.

Edward hummed his approval. "I do like the sound of that. I'll have to keep that in mind for tonight when I'm in bed with my gorgeous fiancé." He placed another couple of chaste kisses on my lips before sitting back on the couch and bringing me with him, settling me comfortably on his lap. His arms immediately wrapped around my waist and he leaned his head on my shoulder.

"Wait! Stop the celebration!" Alice shrieked and jumped up from her seat.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked her.

"Bella, before we continue anything, you should probably tell Rosalie that _I'm_ going to be your maid of honour."

Before I could even say anything to her, Rosalie snapped her head in Alice's direction. "Oh, _hell_ no!" She turned back towards me. "Bella, please tell my little sister that she's delusional and that I'm going to be your maid of honour."

I opened my mouth again to answer them, but Alice beat me to it once more. "I don't think so blondie, you're not responsible or creative enough for that job. I knew the very day I saw these two together that when they'd get married, I would be Bella's MOH."

"Okay, first of all, anyone who uses the abbreviation as a word should never be a maid of honour. Second of all, I'm more responsible than you are. Plus, I'm older. And I won't be the one spazzing around like you always do. I'm perfect for maid of honour." Rosalie said, self-assured as usual.

"Perfect? Right, because you're perfect for everything, aren't you?"

They both started arguing and screaming over each other, it made my head hurt. So after a few moments, I yelled out for them to stop. Rosalie and Alice both turned to my direction, faces slightly reddened from yelling so much, but I knew exactly where to go with this. A confident smile graced my face as my idea had already been planned out in my head.

"Rosalie, Alice. I have an easy solution." I said sweetly, my smile widening when their faces lit up. "How about we compromise?"

* * *

**And there you have it folks, the end to Compromises and Promises! Alec's shacking up with a better lady, Tanya realized what a bitch karma can be, and Jacob won't be bothering our favourite couple anymore. AND AND AND, Bella and Edward are getting married.  
So, needless to say, there will be no continuation to C&P. Or was that not needless? I don't know, either way, this is where it ends.  
****Thank you to every single person who reviewed, put C&P on their alerts and/or their favourites. You're the ones that keep me writing.**

****** YOU'RE MY MOTIVATION! And I love you all! =)**


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